True Romance
by kt2785
Summary: Ok, so this fic is very loosely based off the movie True Romance, but only really the first chapter. It's an AU Skate. Off Island. It is dedicated to Katie. Rated for Language and Sexual Situations.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok so this fic is dedicated to Katie. It's also dedicated to all the people who haven't been able to watch season 4 due to the fact that they changed the network that this amazing show is on. So I hope you all like it.**

Sawyer and Kate are so different, but oh so the same. One day they meet and their lives will be changed forever. (A/N within the A/N: The beginning is semi based on the beginning of the movie True Romance.)

Sawyer sat at the bar drinking a glass of whiskey on the rocks. It tasted warm and tingly as it slid down his throat. He noticed that someone was watching him from the bathroom. He turned his head to look and there was a woman standing, staring at him. She walked toward him and sat down at the bar.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked.

"Go ahead," he nodded. She had short blonde hair that looked like she hadn't brushed it in a while. Other than that she was cute. She was flirty horribly and he knew that if he played the right cards he could have her in his bed in no time. But there was something about her that he didn't really like. He shook his head as he took another sip from his drink.

"Do you like the movies?" he asked.

"Who doesn't like movies?" the woman questioned.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I'm going to an all night horror movie marathon. It's all those great old movies…y'know Frankenstein, Dracula…those kinds of movies."

"I'm not a scary movie kinda girl," she shook her head.

"You get scared?" he asked. "I mean…I'll protect you from the scary monsters."

"No I'm not scared," she shook her head. "I just think they're stupid and lame…with terrible acting."

"Alright," he sighed. "If you say so. I'm gonna get going then. It starts in 15 minutes."

He reached into his pocket and took out his packet of cigarette's he put one in his mouth and one behind his ear. He looked at the girl and winked before leaving her standing there, wishing she had gone with him. He walked to the movie theater and found a seat right in the middle. He hadn't bothered buying popcorn or candy or soda…he thought there was no point. But there was another person in the theater who thought a movie wasn't complete unless you had a big tub of popcorn with extra butter and salt. She walked down to the middle of the theater and started moving down the rows. She tripped and dumped her popcorn over the seat in front of her.

"Son of a bitch," she heard a voice say.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "God! I'm such a klutz."

"It's only popcorn," Sawyer stated, brushing the popcorn from his legs, but obviously annoyed.

"You here by yourself?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he whispered. "Now shh…you'll miss the movie."

"Me too," she said almost pathetically sad.

"You can sit next to me if you hush up," he said sternly and not bothering to look at her. She climbed over the seat and sat down next to him. She smiled widely and then looked back at the screen. Every so often she would look over at him. It was beginning to annoy him and he wished she would just watch the movie and leave him alone.

"I love these old movies," she whispered. There was a loud music in the movie that made her jump and turn toward Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer chuckled and looked at her.

"You like being scared?" he asked.

"I love being scared," she smiled. "Especially when I have a handsome man to protect me."

"I'm Sawyer," he chuckled again and continued to look at her.

"Kate," she said holding her hand out. He smirked at her hand and took it in his. He brought her hand up to his lips.

"Like in the old movies," he whispered to her. She took her hand back and shook her head. The continued to watch the movies. They both had fun and flirted throughout the few hours that they spent at the movies. When it was over Kate and Sawyer walked out of the movie together.

"This was fun," Kate smiled. "Almost like a first date. I haven't had one of those in so long."

"Really?" he asked. "A gorgeous girl like you?"

"You think I'm pretty?" she whispered, and blushed .

"No," he said shaking his head and stepping toward her. "I didn't say pretty…I said gorgeous. And I just noticed something too. You have cute little freckles. I didn't see them in the dark theater."

"I've always hated them," she stated, covering her cheeks.

"Why?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "They've just always bugged me. I don't like them."

"Well Freckles," he began. "We all have things about us that we don't like. You just have to get over it."

Sawyer stepped closer to her and leaned in to kiss her. She turned her cheek but smiled. It wasn't a normal thing for her to be kissing strange men that she had just met, but she had wanted to kiss him, even though she pulled away.

"Do you want to get some dinner?" she asked. "I mean I know it's late, but seeing as this is our first date…movie and dinner?"

"It's 3:00 in the morning Freckles," he said quietly.

"I know a 24 hour diner," she whispered.

"Y'know," he started. "I think I know that diner. Craig's Diner?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Ok then," he nodded. "Dinner…although it's closer to breakfast at this hour."

They went to her mom's diner. She hadn't seen her mom in a few months and was really hoping that she wasn't working, but something about this man made her not really care. As they walked to the diner Kate wrapped her arms around herself. She almost acted as if she was cold.

"You cold Freckles?" he asked.

"Oh," she began. "I'm fine."

Sawyer was wearing a heavy leather jacket. He took it off and wrapped it around her shoulders. She smirked at the gentlemanly gesture. It was nice to know that chivalry was still alive in some men. She usually didn't like having doors opened for her and feeling like the damsel in distress, but it was nice of him to give her his coat…especially since he was wearing a thin t-shirt.

"Are you sure you won't get cold?" she asked.

"Nah," he shook his head. "I have thick skin."

They finally arrived at the diner and ordered food. Sawyer ordered breakfast, but Kate ordered pie and beer. Sawyer thought it was funny that she ordered a beer with a cherry pie.

"That's not a good mix Freckles," he said.

"I drink beer with everything," she replied.

"A woman after my own heart," he smirked. Just then he decided he'd have a beer too. A beer with two eggs, sausage, and toast. He didn't seem to like the combination because he left the food sitting on the plate as he drank his beer. They stayed at the diner only until the drinks were finished.

Kate and Sawyer walked out onto the side walk and Kate handed Sawyer his jacket back. He smiled at her, and she couldn't take it anymore. She didn't kiss strange men, and she hated public displays of affection. She hated it when people were kissing on the side walk, or even holding hands. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and crashed her lips against his. His tongue was warm and soft. His breath tasted like beer and cigarettes. She inhaled through her nose and kept her lips against his.

"You wanna come back to my place," he whispered into her mouth, and then he kissed her lips again so she was unable to answer. She nodded her head, with keeping her lips on his. He broke away and looked down the road.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"3 blocks away," he answered. Sawyer lead the way and they walked down the road. Sawyer walked up to the apartment building and went inside. They walked up the stairs. Sawyer was taking the stairs two at a time and practically dragging Kate, who was trying her best to keep up with him. When they got to the door he fumbled with his keys.

"Hurry up!" she exclaimed eagerly. Her eagerness was exciting him just as much as it excited her. She didn't kiss strange men, and she certainly didn't have sex with strange men, but he was different. And for some reason she couldn't help herself. She was attracted to him, and she was going to do this just this once. He finally got the door opened and held up a hand to quiet her.

"Kyle!" he yelled. "Are you home?!"

Sawyer counted quietly to himself…1...2...3. Kyle wasn't there. He turned toward Kate and brought his arms quickly around her. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He was kissing her neck and moving his mouth toward the tops of her breasts. She let out a sharp breath and they made their way into the bedroom. He was slamming into walls and door knobs, but she didn't care. She knew that she was going to have bruises tomorrow but she could only think of the fact that Sawyer was kissing her. They got into the bedroom and Sawyer put her down on the dresser. He stopped kissing her long enough to tear her shirt over her head. He sucked on her lips and tongue. He picked her back up and walked over to the bed. He put her down and climbed on top of her. She could feel him growing hard through his jeans. As experienced as he must have been, she was experienced too. Psychologists probably would have told her that she was looking for her father, because she never had a strong male influence in her life. Her dad was always gone. When she was in high school she was promiscuous. It was always people that she knew, but she was the school slut, until she begged her mom to let her be home schooled.

She reached her hand between them and did something that surprised Sawyer. He figured that she was going to go for his pants, but instead she reached inside her own. He looked down at her and she closed her eyes and licked her lips. He knew what she was doing. She moaned softly and then brought her hand back out of her pants.

"Fuck me," she whispered.

"Not yet darlin'," he whispered back and kissed her lips again. He was still on top of her. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down. He reached his hand into her panties and felt the evidence of what she had started. He started teasing her and he bent his head to her ear.

"I'm going to suck on you in 4 minutes," he whispered. At his words she moved against his hand and moaned softly. "And then I'm gonna push my thick cock into so hard you're gonna scream my name."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "How big?"

"Oh I guarantee the biggest you've ever seen," he said. His hands were rough, but gentle. She put her hand on top of his and waited for his fingers to penetrate her. But he continued to just tease her. She tried to push against his hand, but he was still only teasing.

"Please," she begged.

"Shh," he said quietly. "Shh. Just hold on sweetheart. Hold on a little longer. Watch me."

He took his hand off of her and propped pillows under her head so she could have a better view. He finally did what she was waiting for. When he touched her she came. He looked at her satisfied but continued to touch her, hoping that she would have a second wave run over her. She panted heavily and waited for him to stimulate her enough to let her release. He took his hand away from her and stared down at her.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly. He didn't wait for an answer before lowering his head down and letting his tongue do what his fingers were just doing. She moaned loudly when his tongue touched her.

"Sawyer," she said out loud. "Yes. More. Suck me baby."

Her words were making his jeans even tighter. She knew what she was doing just as well as he knew what he was doing. He let her come again and then moved up her body. He kissed her softly and let his tongue explore her mouth. She could taste her own arousal on his mouth.

"I want you in my mouth," she whispered.

"Damn Freckles," he moaned. "With talk like that all the fun will be ruined."

Kate sat up and rolled over on top of him. She unbuckled his pants quickly and put her hands inside. He pushed his pants off to give Kate easier access. She pulled his boxers off and got her first look. She touched him gently and then quickly climbed on top of him. She couldn't wait any longer before she slid over him. He rolled over on top of her and he put all his weight on her. He had been right about being the biggest she had ever seen. She was almost nervous, and he could tell it in her face. He kissed her softly and moved slowly to give her a chance to catch up. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. He put his mouth over hers and she moaned.

"Sawyer man!" Kyle's voice came through the house.

"Shit," he whispered.

"Don't stop," Kate said quietly. She definitely didn't want to stop just because his roommate was home. The door rattled and Kate let out a breath of relief that Sawyer had bothered to even shut the door, let alone lock it.

"Dude the handle is stuck again," Kyle replied. "You home?"

"Yeah," Sawyer said, trying his best to catch his breath and not sound too throaty. "I'm kinda busy. Can we talk in the morning?"

"Do you have a lady friend in there with you Sawyer?" Kyle asked. "That's my boy! Drown your sorrows in liquor and women."

"Shut up!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, sorry," he seemed to have left the door and Kate looked up at Sawyer with a chuckle. Under a normal circumstance the way that Kyle said "drown your sorrows," would have pissed Kate off, but she was still too turned on to push him away. She looked up at him, he was still inside her, but they were both beginning to become less aroused. Sawyer rolled back over on top of her and she reached between them. She looked up at him, and knew what would make him harder.

"Fuck me harder Sawyer," she said quietly. "Make me come."

He quickened his pace and they both began to pant and moan each other's names. Kate's moans became more like screams, and Sawyer had to cover her mouth with his more frequently to shut her up. Even though Kyle knew what they were doing, he didn't need to actually hear it.

"Sawyer," she said loudly. "Harder."

He listened to her and she dug her finger nails into his back. She felt like she wasn't able to catch her breath, but she didn't care. Sawyer held on till he absolutely had to, and then came into her. Her yells and moans had softened and she now whispered his name and came quietly. He found it almost endearing.

They were laying in his bed, naked, in a tangle of arms and legs. Neither of them were able to move, but neither of them were sleeping either. Kate finally moved from her position and cuddled against him.

Kate had only been in love one other time in her life. And it didn't really count because it was when she was a teenager. Tom was the person who stopped her trashy behavior. He had made love to her. It was just sex with those other guys, but with Tom it was truly love. She had just met the man who she was laying on, but she already seemed to be falling in love with him. It was so hard for her to fall in love. She didn't let her self fall in love. That emotion was no longer an option for her. But as she looked up and watched as Sawyer slowly drifted into dreamland, she couldn't help but think what it would be like if this was her life. Being ravaged every night by this beautiful man. She imagined children and a family and a house with a white picket fence. She kissed his jaw and got out of his arms. She went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet lid. She put her hands to her face…no…she couldn't be in love with him. She hardly knew him. She had only been sitting there for a few minutes when a knock at the door startled her out of her daze.

"Freckles?" Sawyer asked. "You ok?"

She opened the door. Best to just stay honest. Maybe he would just kick her out and she wouldn't have to worry about it. Maybe he would kick her out and she could forget this night ever happened…although she knew that she would remember it forever.

"I think I'm in love with you Sawyer," she whispered.

"You wanna know something crazy?" he asked. "I was just thinking the same damn thing."

She smiled up at him, stood up, and wrapped her arms around him for a close, soft kiss.

**A/N: I hope this was a good start. Shall I continue? Please review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. You guys rock as per usual. I'm glad you liked the first chapter Katie! You're awesome!**

_Previously…_

"_I think I'm in love with you Sawyer," she whispered._

"_You wanna know something crazy?" he asked. "I was just thinking the same damn thing."_

_She smiled up at him, stood up, and wrapped her arms around him for a close, soft kiss._

She pulled away first and looked up at him. She looked cute wearing only his shirt and her underwear. Sawyer smiled widely and evilly at her. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Let's go back to bed Freckles," he whispered. She put her hands on his shoulders, and he lead the way back to the bedroom. When they got to the bedroom Sawyer turned toward her and shut the door. She looked at him and he locked the door, reaching his hand behind her.

"Do you think Kyle's sleeping?" she whispered.

"I don't really care," he shook his head. He pressed his lips to hers and they walked their way blindly back to the bed. Sawyer pushed her down playfully onto the bed. He smirked at her as the shirt she was wearing raised up over her hips. The panties she was wearing weren't covering much skin. She shook her head and pushed him off of her.

"Did you tell me that you were falling in love with me so that I'd come back in here and have sex with you?"

"Maybe," he smirked.

"You're an asshole," she smiled, but leaned up and kissed him anyway.

"That's me, baby," he replied. "But in all honesty…I am fallin' for you Kate. I've never been in love before…and now I know how intense it is babe."

"You really mean it?" she asked.

"Yep," he nodded. "Now where were we?"

"I was gonna come back here and go to sleep. I'm tired. You wore me out."

"You aren't ready for round 2?" he asked. "Well we're gonna have to change that. You're gonna have to learn how to keep up with me Freckles."

"Ok," she mumbled. "But not tonight. I'm too tired."

He decided not to listen to her. Instead he rolled on top of her and pinned her down. She looked up at him and shook her head.

"What are you doing?" she asked smiling up at him. "I told you…I'm tired."

"I'm waking you up," he answered quietly. She chuckled and rolled over on top of him. She bent down and kissed him and then rolled back off of him.

"Goodnight," she said sternly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She could feel his breath getting closer to her neck, which told her he was moving toward her. She smiled to herself and waited for his lips to touch the back of her neck. His lips weren't touching her yet, which sort of confused her.

"Goodnight Freckles," he whispered into her ear. She smiled wider, and then couldn't help herself. She flipped back toward him and kissed him. She snuggled against his shoulder and fell asleep.

The next morning she woke up and forgot where she was. Part of her thought that what had happened the previous night was all a dream. She looked over at Sawyer who was sleeping soundly. She still had her arms around him. She didn't want to wake him up, but she did want to get out of his arms. She wished she could leave without waking him up. She would just quickly leave the house. She didn't even want to think about the conversation that she was going to have with him. When she told him she loved him, she wasn't even sure if she really did love him. She was definitely attracted to him and she felt like if she stuck around she wouldn't ever leave. She carefully took her arms from around him. She looked down at him and then moved to the edge of the bed. She started standing up when a hand touched her back. She looked around and Sawyer was looking back at her with a smile.

"Sneakin' out without a goodbye Freckles?" he whispered.

"No," she said quickly. "I'm just going to the bathroom.

"Oh," he nodded. "Well hurry back."

Great…she thought to herself. He was already attached. And what was worse was that she was beginning to be attached to him too. She kept thinking about the previous night. They had sex. What they did wasn't making love even though he took care to be gentle and sweet. It was still supposed to be just sex. But she wanted more. She wanted him to love her like that again right now. She was almost aching. She was almost to the door and then turned back. She practically ran toward the bed and jumped into Sawyer's unsuspecting arms. He let out a sharp grunt when she landed on top of him, but recovered quickly as she began kissing him. He kissed her back and flipped over on top of her.

"Well good morning," he smirked. "What's up?"

"Hi," she whispered. "I thought-"

"You thought that the feeling of fallin' for me would go away didn't you?" he asked, this time semi-seriously. He rolled off of her and looked at her.

"Hmm," she said quietly. "Maybe a little. I dunno Sawyer…this just isn't me. I don't go meet strange men at the movie theater and then go home with them. I don't wake up in strangers beds."

"Well you did last night," he smirked. "And believe you me Kate, I ain't complaining. We had fun last night, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's the most fun I've had in a long time. And I'm not just talking about the sex. But what is it? I mean…what is it about you that makes me want to come back to you. I was leaving."

"You were tryin' to sneak off," he said, knowingly. "I get that Freckles. You're freaked out. You don't actually love me…you just said it because-well honestly I don't know why you would say it, but yeah…I'm guessing that-"

"No," she said shaking her head. "I meant every word I said last night. I don't fall in love Sawyer. I don't kiss people I don't know, but I fell in love with you. It's just that now I know how true it is."

"I don't fall in love at all Freckles," he shook his head. "I've never had a real relationship. Everything I've ever done has been no strings attached. No real commitment. And when I saw you in that damn movie theater we were supposed to part ways and never see each other again."

"We're you going to try to seduce me?" she asked.

"Well hell yeah Freckles," he smiled. "I went from screwing a hot chick to falling in love within 12 hours. I was supposed to tell you to leave in the morning and not care about your feelings…but I don't want you to leave Freckles and I've never cared this much about anyone."

"Don't worry," she whispered. "I ain't going anywhere."

She leaned over to him and pressed her lips against his. They were both already learning what each other liked. Kate nibbled softly on his lip and he smiled. He kept smiling as she kissed down his chest.

"Sawyer," Kyle's voice came on the other side of the door. "That ho gone yet?"

Kate scoffed loudly at Sawyer, even though it wasn't his fault that Kyle was a jerk. Her mouth was wide open. Sawyer was about to defend her honor when Kate interrupted him.

"No," Kate said out loud. "The ho isn't gone."

She stood up and opened the door. A very red Kyle stood in front of her. She was still only wearing Sawyer's shirt and her small panties. Kyle looked at her body up and down and Kate scoffed again.

"Y'know Kyle, you might want to take some lessons from Sawyer on how to treat a lady," she said. "You're really a jackass. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"As a matter of fact," he began. "I do. Same girl for a year and a half."

"Well I feel sorry for her," Kate said. She shut the door in Kyle's face and locked the door. She turned back toward Sawyer and walked over to him. She got into bed and looked at him.

"I can't believe you live with such asshole," she told him. "We're gonna have to change that."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well I can't live with someone like that," she replied.

"Who says you're moving in?" he questioned.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Just a thought. But if I'm gonna be moving in here we're gonna have to redecorate this room. I'll bring some of my stuff over later today."

Sawyer looked at her somewhat as if she was crazy. She kept a straight face for only a few moments longer and then burst into laughter. She kissed his lips still smiling widely.

"You should have seen the look on your face," she said. "That was classic. Sawyer…I don't know what's going to happen. But I hardly know you…I'm not gonna make you change...yet. We'll take it one small change at a time. For example…something that we need to change right now is the fact that you are far too dressed."

"I like how kinky you are Kate," he stated. She grinned at him and put one leg on either side of his legs. She didn't lean in to kiss him. Instead she waited. She was going to wait for him to make the first move, but he wasn't.

"I felt bad about denying you last night," she said. "I wasn't really that tired. So this morning I'm making up for it. Are you up for it?"

She reached her hand down between them, but didn't touch him. That didn't matter because he was already hard and waiting for her soft hand. Just thinking about what he did to her the previous night made her wet. She grabbed his hand and put it against her panties, which were already wet. He groaned his approval and brought his lips to hers.

"I've been ready since last night," he whispered. Kate was always a morning sex kind of girl. She always thought it was a great way to start the day.

"I love you," she replied quietly. "I love you and I don't even know your last name."

"James," he answered.

"Sawyer James?" she smiled.

"James Ford," he shook his head.

"So what happened to Sawyer?" she asked.

"Another day," he replied. He pulled her on top of him and kissed her slowly. She thought about what he could mean by that for a couple seconds, and then her attention was brought right back to what he was doing. He now had moved his hand into her panties. She gasped loudly and brought her mouth to his to muffle her moan.

"Hmm," she mumbled. "No. Wait."

He didn't seem to hear her, until she pushed his hand off of her. He looked at her slightly confused. It wasn't that she didn't want it, because she did…but she wanted to do what she didn't get to last night. She slid down to the top of his boxers. He let out a breath, knowing what she was going to do. She pulled his boxers over his hips and looked at him with a playful grin. She started slowly putting her mouth on him. He wrapped her hair in his hands and he waited to be fully in her mouth. He was just about to be sure that she wouldn't be able to put all of him in her mouth, when she succeeded. She stimulated him and he was ready to orgasm.

"Ok," he whispered, to warn her. She didn't stop, in fact she only quickened. She let him explode into her mouth. She didn't even seemed at all phased. She crawled back up to him and kissed his lips. She smiled at him.

"You taste so good," she whispered. She kissed him again. "I want your fingers in me."

He quickly grabbed her and flipped her over.

"I love you," he whispered.

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate wasn't living there, but she was there more than she was at her place. Kyle and her had been able to become civilized with each other, but Kate still thought that he was a pig. She had met his girlfriend Jill and they got along pretty well.

Kate was walking the 1.4 miles from her apartment to Sawyer's. She waved to the doorman and walked past him. He could never remember her name, but she figured that would change in a few weeks. She waited at the door for Sawyer to open it. The door opened and Jill was standing in front of her.

"Oh," she said. "Hey Jill. How are you?"

"I'm alright," she shrugged, but didn't look happy.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked.

"Kyle," she whispered. "I found this…"

She handed Kate a binder. Kate started flipping through the binder and realized that it must be conquests. She read the names and there must have been 100 names. There was a rating next to each woman. She shook her head.

"Jill," she started. "This is awful. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not even in it!" she sobbed.

"Well," Kate shrugged. She got to the last page and written in large letters it said **Kate Austen**. She scoffed and read what was written about her. It said that she was the best he'd ever been with and he could see himself spending the rest of his life with her. It was then that she realized that this was Sawyer's book, not Kyle's. She didn't know whether to be disgusted by the book, or flattered by what he wrote.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sawyer asked.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to the reviewers. You guys are great. I am enjoying writing this story for you guys. I miss Lost! Hah. I can't wait till it comes back again. I'm really hoping we'll get some great Skate stuff. I won't ruin anything for you guys that haven't seen it yet though… I hope you all enjoy my chapter…**

_**Flashback**_

_Sawyer was above her. He was kissing her and running his hands over her breasts. Her nipples were hard and she was grinding against him. He whispered dirty words in her ear and made her moan. He took his hands off of her and stopped kissing her. She looked at him, waiting for him to touch any part of her body really. She just didn't understand why he was stopping._

"_Do you wanna try something Freckles?" he whispered._

"_What do you mean?" she asked._

"_I don't touch you," he responded. "I make you come…without putting a hand on you."_

_She smirked up at him and situated herself underneath him, trying to get comfortable. He smiled at her and got off of her. He put his mouth next to her ear and kissed her neck and then pulled back. She turned toward him to listen to his voice._

"_I love fucking you Kate," he whispered into her ear. He backed away and watched her face._

"_Me t-" she began._

"Shh!" he said. "I love touching you and putting every inch of my hard cock into you."

_She let out a soft breath and moved against him. He backed away and shook his head. She smirked at him and reached between them to see if his words were having the same affect on him as they were on her. The words didn't seem to be affecting him at all, which surprised her. He figured she was going to try and relieve herself, and he grabbed her hand and shook his head again._

_"Don't cheat," he said softly. She smiled at him and cocked her head._

"Then keep talking," she answered. He started adjusting himself which told her that she succeeded in starting to arouse him.

"_Do you like my fingers in you Kate?" he sort of loud, but the apartment was empty so Kate didn't mind. "Do you like one or two fingers Kate? I love my fingers in you Freckles. I can feel how wet you get. It makes me so horny Kate. It makes me hard. Do you know that I jack off in the shower every day and I think of you?"_

Kate started breathing irregularly. She closed her eyes and reached her hand down toward the top of her pants. Sawyer grabbed her wrist again and held both her hands in one of his. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He smirked and put his other hand down his boxers. She opened her mouth in protest.

"_I never said anything about not being able to touch myself Freckles," he told her. She should have hated this, but she didn't. It was making her even more aroused. He started touching himself and she watched._

"_Pull it out," she whispered. He stopped and brought his hand back out of his boxers. She breathed deep and just wanted him to let herself be relieved._

"_I'm gonna make you come Freckles," he said. "Don't worry. You just gotta be patient. Close your eyes."_

_She listened to him and felt him put one arm on either side of her. He brought his lips close to hers, but didn't touch them. Her breath smelled like the rum that they were drinking earlier. His breath smelled like cigarettes which was becoming a very odd turn on for Kate. Cigarettes usually reminded her of Wayne and she hated the smell, but Sawyer smelled like cigarettes and alcohol almost all the time so he made her enjoy the smell of it. And he'd always have a cigarette in bed after they made love. It was almost becoming an aphrodisiac. Kate was learning that pretty much anything could be an aphrodisiac if it was associated with having sex._

"_Keep em closed," he told her. She nodded, but felt as if she couldn't speak. "I can make myself come without you being in the room Freckles. And I can make myself so hard without touching myself. You're wet right now Kate. I can smell it, but I'm not gonna touch you."_

_"Please," she whispered and rubbed against him._

"_You feel so good when I put my tongue in you," he said. "I want to put my mouth on you and fuck you with my tongue. Can you feel it?"_

"_No," she moaned. "Please touch me."_

_"Watch me then," he told her. She opened her eyes and he had taken his erection out of his boxers. She groaned again, but still hadn't come. He began to pleasure himself and Kate watched. She reached out and put her hand on top of his._

_"I'm gonna come before you do," he teased._

"Are you gonna turn this into a race?" she asked.

"_Well if it is, you're gonna lose Kate, because you ain't allowed to touch yourself," he replied._

"_Well then make me come Sawyer," she shrugged. "I dunno what's taking you so long. I can make myself come without touching myself by just thinking about you and what you to do me."_

"_I want to come in you," he whispered. "I want to grind into you and make you scream so loud you wake up the people on the first floor. And I will. I'm going to make you come again when I'm inside you. And you're going to wish that I would fuck you like that every night. You feel so good Kate. My cock is so big compared to you, but you can take every inch like it's no big deal. And you suck it just as well. You are so kinky, but I love you. And I'm going to love you more than once tonight."_

_"What do you mean?" she breathed, this time almost ready to come._

"_I'm gonna suck you and then I'm gonna fuck you. And then we'll do it all over again."_

_She came and reached her hand into her panties to feel the evidence. She rolled over on top of him and kissed his lips. She moved to his neck and down his chest. She pulled his boxers down over his lips and pulled down her panties. He wasn't ready yet, but he was becoming ready very quickly. _

"_You're wrong about one thing James," she whispered. "You're not going to fuck me. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to ride you Cowboy."_

_She positioned herself above him-_

_**Flashback Over**_

"What the hell are you doing?" Sawyer asked again. "That is not yours to look at."

He snatched the book of conquests from her and scoffed at her. Kate looked at him in shock.

"I didn't-" she started. "I wasn't-"

"You don't just go through other people's things. This is mine," he told her. "It's not for everyone to just look at. What were you trying to do?"

"If it's not for everyone to see why was it in Kyle's room?" Jill asked. "This was in Kyle's room on his dresser. I started looking at it…and I didn't even realize what I was reading till the 2nd page."

"Ok, well then why would you read something that you thought was Kyle's and then share it with Kate?" he asked. "You're a real bitch you know that?"

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed. "Don't call her that Sawyer. Don't be a dick, just because you have one."

"Yeah, the biggest you've ever seen right?" he asked. "Well you'll never see it again. Get the hell out."

He stared at her for a moment longer as Kate stared just as hard at him. He pushed past her to get to the hallway leading to the bedroom. He knocked into her so hard that she had to catch herself against the wall. If the wall hadn't been there to break her fall, Kate would have fallen on the ground. She ran after him, down the hall and into his room. She slammed the door behind him and locked it.

"What the fuck!" she exclaimed. "_You're_ the one who's slept with over 100 women and I'm the one who's getting yelled at! You have a lot of nerve Sawyer. A hell of a lot of nerve."

"Suck my dick," he mumbled. It was meant to make get pissed and leave, but instead she nodded and walked toward him. She shoved him against the wall and unbuckled his pants, and pulled them down before he could protest. She went down to her knees and ran her hands against his bare thighs. He moved against her and almost forgot that he was mad at her. She started sucking on him. He took a deep breath and pushed her head down further.

"Oh yeah," he whispered. "That feels so good baby."

She stopped and stood up.

"Finish it yourself asshole," she scoffed. She started leaving and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward the bed.

"No," she shook her head. "Don't Sawyer. Let go of me!"

"Come on," he whispered. "You know that you want me. You know you want it Kate."

He put his hand on her thigh and moved it toward the area between her legs. She hated that he was beginning to arouse her already and he was touching her over her jeans. She wriggled underneath him which was only making her more aroused. He was on top of her and she was still trying to get away.

"Don't!" she screamed. "Get off of me! You're hurting me!"

She smacked him hard in the face and he immediately let her go. She started leaving the room, and knew she shouldn't even look back, but she did. He was staring at the floor and looking pretty ashamed of himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He stood up and left the room quickly. Kate heard him run down the hall and out the door. It slammed behind him and Kate looked at the ceiling trying to blink the tears from her eyes. Jill appeared in the doorway and Kate looked at her. She knew what happened without having to ask.

"He won't be back for a while Kate," Jill told her. "You don't have to worry about it."

"Well," Kate shrugged. "I guess I'll just wait for him then."

"You're going to stay?" Jill asked. "Why? He attacked you!"

"No he didn't," she shook her head. "He didn't attack me. He was just trying to get me to stay. And he stopped before anything happened."

"Did he hurt you?" she questioned.

"No," she whispered.

"Then why did you scream at him that 'you're hurting me'?" Jill asked.

"To get him off of me," Kate answered. "I just-Sawyer wouldn't hurt me. I just need to talk to him. I'll give him a little while to cool off, but I'm not just going to leave. I need to talk to him."

"If you say so," Jill stated. "But if you think that I'm going to leave while he's here alone with you, then you're crazy. I'm not going to let him attack you again."

"Jill," Kate sighed. "I know you're just trying to be a good friend, but Sawyer isn't going to hurt me. He didn't mean to do anything. He was just…he was mad. I started-you just-you weren't there. You don't know what happened."

"I know," Jill nodded. "But I'm just worried. I don't want him to have the chance to try and rape you."

"You didn't see his face," Kate frowned. "He was pretty upset at himself. That's why he left so quickly. He was mad at himself. I just hope he doesn't do anything to hurt himself or anyone else."

Jill looked at her and the left the room. Kate sat down on the bed that she had been sharing with Sawyer. She laid down and took his pillow. The bed smelled like them. It smelled like sex and cigarettes. Kate even smelled a hint of the cologne that Sawyer wore. She fell asleep laying there and she dreamed.

_Sawyer opened the door and watched her sleeping. He walked over to the bed and ran his fingers across her face. She opened one eye and smiled up at him. He kissed her hard and crawled onto the bed._

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Where did I hurt you? I'll kiss it better."

_Kate smirked up at him and touched the inside of her thigh. He pulled her toward him and kissed her lips softly. Then he moved down her body. He gently helped her out of her jeans and looked at the small bruise he made with his thumb. He bent down and kissed her thigh. Then he sucked gently._

_"You're only gonna make it bigger if you do that," Kate whispered._

_"Like you care," he said rising himself over her. He made love to her softly and gently. She orgasmed twice._

When she woke up her hand was down her pants. She turned bright red and pulled her hand out quickly. Even though no one was in the room to witness her sex dream, she still felt embarrassed at her own actions. She sighed deeply. She hated that she only had known Sawyer for 2 months and he already had those affects on her. He hadn't even told him why his real name was James…and who Sawyer was. She looked at the clock and noticed that it was 9:00pm. She had been sleeping for almost 2 hours. She didn't know how she slept that long, and she didn't know why Sawyer wasn't home yet. She stood up and left the room. Sawyer was sitting on the couch in the living area. She walked over to him and sat down.

"Hi," she whispered. "Why didn't you wake me up when you got home?"

"You looked content," he said in a stoic tone. "I didn't want to wake you. Plus you were moaning so I figured I shouldn't ruin your pleasure."

Kate turned red again and looked away from him. She had orgasmed in her sleep, but she was still ready for the real thing. She wanted him…she couldn't help it. But she was still angry and so was he. She finally looked back at him and he was staring at her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"You didn't," she shook her head.

"I hate myself Freckles," he whispered. "I've never done a good thing in my whole life…but I've also never forced myself on anyone till today."

"It wasn't all your fault Sawyer," she told him. "I teased you…and I shouldn't have read your binder. It wasn't mine to read…but Jill was-"

"Would you stop apologizing and let me apologize," he said gently. "Kate I will never touch you like that again."

"Damn," she said with a smirk. He couldn't help but smile back at her. He reached out and put his hand on her cheek. He moved his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her gently toward his lips.

"I love you," he whispered. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. That book is just part of my past that I didn't want you to have to know about."

"Jill was freaking out," she answered. "She really thought that the book was Kyle's. She just wanted my advice as to what to do. I honestly didn't know what to tell her. Especially considering she wasn't even the book. I don't know if she saw my name in the book, but if she did…then she was probably pretty upset because…well what you wrote."

The door opened and Kyle came into the apartment loudly. Sawyer and Kate both regretted having their talk out in the living area instead of the bedroom.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What's up horn dogs?"

Kate rolled her eyes and looked at Sawyer. Kyle teased them incessantly over their active sexual drive for each other, which normally wouldn't have bothered Kate and she would have just laughed it off, but considering she and Sawyer were trying to have a rather important conversation it struck a nerve. It must have struck one for Sawyer too because he stood up and walked threateningly toward Kyle.

"Y'know Kyle," he began. "Why don't you go explain to your girlfriend why my book of conquests was in your room? I'm sure Jilly Bean really wants to know the answer to that question."

Kyle always called Jill, Jilly Bean. Kate and Sawyer made fun of Kyle constantly for having such a lame nickname for her. Kate preferred the nickname Freckles to any nickname that she had ever had. Her parents always came up with cute nicknames for her which she always hated, but Freckles was the one nickname that she liked and thought was cute.

"What's up your ass?" Kyle asked.

"Um," he began. "Maybe the fact that Jill found the book of conquests, and showed it to Kate. So please just leave and go talk to Jill. Come on Kate."

Kate stood up and followed Sawyer back down the hallway. He shut the door behind him and locked it. He knew that if he didn't lock it either Jill or Kyle was bound to barge in on them. Neither of them knew how to knock. It got annoying for both Sawyer and Kate, but they learned to keep the door locked almost at all times. Kate sat down on the bed and looked at Sawyer who didn't make a move toward her. They stayed silent for what seemed like a lifetime. There was a quick hard knock on the door. Kate and Sawyer both jumped at the sound.

"Kate!" Jill exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Kate got up and opened the door a crack.

"I'm fine," she said. "Please just give us a minute."

"Is he making you say it. Blink twice for yes," Jill replied.

"Jeez Jill," Kate scoffed. "Sawyer isn't going to hurt me. We're talking. We're talking about what happened so just leave us alone. And if you come back we're gonna have to go back to my place."

"Ok," Jill nodded. "If you're sure."

Kate rolled her eyes again and Jill nodded again. She finally seemed to get the message to leave them alone. Kate stepped back from the door and shut it and locked it again. She looked at Sawyer apologetically.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Jill-"

"Did you tell her that I-" he began.

"I didn't have to tell her anything," Kate sighed. "She heard us. She heard me scream…and now I'm regretting it…she wouldn't leave me alone about it. I told her I was fine and that you didn't hurt me, but she wouldn't drop it. She's-I'm sorry Sawyer."

"Me too," he whispered. He walked over to her and knelt in front of her. He took her hands in his and brought them up to his mouth. He kissed her hands and continued to hold them in his. She leaned forward and put her forehead against his.

"What are we gonna do?" she questioned.

"I'm going to apologize again," he answered. "And hope that you forgive me. That book Kate, means nothing to me."

"Then why did you put me in the book?" she asked. She pulled her hands up to make him stand. He stood up and then sat down next to her on the bed.

"Because," he whispered. "If I ever screw this up, I want to remember what I could have had."

"Are you going to screw this up?" she asked with a frown.

"If I haven't already screwed it up Freckles," he began. "Have I screwed everything up?"

"Sawyer I'm still here," she shrugged. "So what do you think?"

"Then I'm gonna try not to screw it up," he mumbled.

She leaned toward him and kissed his lips gently. She pushed against him and laid down on top of him. He kissed her back and put his hands on the back of her neck. Then he stopped and rolled over.

"I have an idea Freckles," he whispered.

"You're not gonna try to arouse me without touching me again are you?" she asked.

"Well," he smirked. "I thought about it…but no. Wait here."

He stood up and went to the door. He must have forgotten he locked it because he went to open the door and it didn't budge. Kate smirked at him and he looked at her slightly embarrassed. He unlocked the door and left the room. He came back with the binder and opened his bedside table where he kept cigarettes, a lighter, an envelope that had been folded and refolded so many times that it was almost falling apart, and a book that he was reading. Kate knew that there was something about that envelope, but she wouldn't ever ask Sawyer…she was going to wait till he came forward with the information. He took the lighter and handed it to Kate. He picked up the binder and ripped all the pieces of paper out of it, including the page with Kate's name on it. He put that piece of paper with Kate's status on it and folded it carefully. He put it into the drawer laying next to the worn envelope. He put the stack of paper on the floor and smiled at Kate.

"Come down here," he said to her. She slid off the bed and sat next to Sawyer. She looked at the stack of paper and then at the lighter. She got the idea without Sawyer having to say anything. She flicked the lighter on and then closed it to make it go out. She picked up the stack of paper and stood up.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I'm gonna light it in the sink so we don't set the whole damn place on fire," she replied.

"Good thinking Kate," he smirked. "It's a good thing that I fell in love with a smart girl."

"Sawyer," she started. "I'm a woman."

"Well," he sighed. "I guess I can't argue with you there. And a hell of a woman you are Freckles."

They walked together into the kitchen. Kate put the stack of paper into the sink and flicked the lighter on. She looked at Sawyer somewhat skeptically and flicked the lighter back off again.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked. "I mean this list is so complete. It even has the damn girls phone numbers…are you sure you want to burn it?"

"None of these girls mean anything to me Kate," he replied, putting his hand against her face. "No one I've ever been with has meant shit to me till you."

"How romantic," she said rollling her eyes. "Next time you tell me I mean a lot to you...do you mind not swearing?"

"Sure," he shrugged. She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"Ok," she whispered. "You wanna do the honors?"

"No," he shook his head. "It's for you."

She smiled again and flicked the lighter on a final time. She put it against the stack of paper and it went up in flames. They watched the stack burn and then Kate looked back at Sawyer and kissed him. She still had the lighter in her hands, but when her arms went around his neck she let go of it and it made a heavy clank on the floor. Sawyer continued to kiss her. He lifted her up on to the kitchen counter and they kept their mouths together. Kate opened her mouth wide and invited Sawyer's tongue in to her mouth. She had her arms around his neck, but brought them down and then up the back of his shirt. The flames were warming Kate and Sawyer. Neither of them bothered to turn on the water to put out the fire. They continued to concentrate on each other. The smoke detector started beeping, but they just kept kissing.

Jill and Kyle both came out of their room to see what was going on. They saw the flames coming out of the sink and ran toward it. Kyle turned on the water and looked down at Sawyer and Kate who were still kissing and seemed to not even realize that Jill and Kyle were now in the room. Kyle cleared his throat loudly and they finally broke apart.

"You mind telling me what you're doing?" Kyle asked.

"We're makin' out," Sawyer answered. "What are you doing?"

"Preventing the apartment from burning to the ground," Kyle answered nonchalantly.

"Oh," Sawyer nodded. "Ok."

He went back to kissing Kate and picked her up off the counter and started walking down the hall. He carried her into the bedroom, and made sure he shut and locked the door behind him.

**A/N: OK so I got on a roll while I was writing and I ended up writing another chapter much sooner than I thought I would. I hope you enjoyed it. Please try and review if you have the time!**


	4. Chapter 4

_  
He went back to kissing Kate and picked her up off the counter and started walking down the hall. He carried her into the bedroom, and made sure he shut and locked the door behind him._

He set her down and continued to kiss her. She lead them over to the bed and laid down on top of him. He ran his fingers in her hair and massaged the back of her head. She stopped kissing him and sat up. She pulled her shirt up over her head. The bra she was wearing was thin. Sawyer could see her nipples poking through. He reached up and touched them softly. Kate giggled and made Sawyer have to adjust his pants. She lowered down to kiss him again and she put her hand into her own pants and he looked at her.

"Fuck Freckles," he whispered. "You're making me so goddamn hard."

"You should feel how wet I'm making myself," she told him into his ear. He eagerly unbuttoned her pants and pushed his hand inside her underwear. He flipped them over to get a better angle. He put two of his fingers into her and she let out a sharp breath. She pushed against him.

"Are you close?" he asked her.

"Yes," she whispered.

They had only been in the room for a couple minutes and there was a loud hard knock on the door. Sawyer was beyond pissed off because they both knew who it was. Kyle knew what they were going into the bedroom to do…why would he interrupt them.

"Sawyer open the damn door," Jill said rattling the door knob.

"What do you want!" he yelled, not bothering to get off of Kate.

"We all need to talk," she answered. "All four of us…right now."

"Well we aren't coming," Kate told her.

"Don't worry Kate I'll make you come in a minute," Sawyer whispered in her ear. Kate cracked a smile and moved under him. Neither of them heard Jill outside of the door anymore, so they continued. Kate closed her eyes again and then pushed Sawyer's hand away.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I want you to fuck me," she answered. He didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled her jeans the rest of the way off. She had a small purple bruise on each of her thighs. He looked down at her and shook his head.

"Jeez Freckles," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she replied. She unbuttoned his pants and shoved them down. He kissed each of her legs softly and then came back up to her mouth. He had positioned himself over her and there was another loud knock at the door. This time it was much louder than the first time.

"Dammit!" Sawyer yelled. "Will you leave us alone?!"

"No," Kyle said. "I don't care what you guys are in the middle of. You're going to come talk to me and Jill right now."

"And if we don't?" Sawyer asked. Kate could tell that Sawyer's mood was beginning to be ruined so she reached between them and started stroking him gently. He let out a throaty moan that he was sure that Kyle had heard. Kate smirked at him and flipped over on top of him. She lifted herself over him. She could hear that Kyle was still talking but she couldn't hear his words.

"I don't know where you get off yelling at Jilly like that," Kyle continued. "We just need to talk and that's it. Or I'm going to break down the door."

"You do that Kyle," Sawyer said softly…too softly for Kyle to hear him.

Kate lowered herself down onto Sawyer and they both let out moans. Kate smiled to herself and had a beyond brilliant idea. Usually she and Sawyer tried their best to be as quiet as they could so they didn't let everyone in the apartment complex what was going on, but now, Kate wanted to let Kyle and Jill know how much pleasure she and Sawyer both got from their endless nights of passion. Kate started moaning softly at first but quickly got louder. Sawyer smiled at her and reached his hand between them to touch her and heighten her passion. She screamed and started moving faster. Sawyer flipped them over and managed to stay completely inside of her. He pulled out almost all the way and then slammed his body back down on top of her. Kate was being louder than he had ever heard her, which only made him move faster and harder.

"Fuck me harder!" she yelled. They were both screaming each other's names. Kate had already come, but a second wave was beginning to run over her. She wrapped her legs around him and pushed him into her further. He came first and then she did. She yelled his name and he collapsed on top of her. She turned over and pulled away from him.

"We should do this more often," she whispered.

"We do it every night practically," Sawyer argued.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I don't think I've ever been that loud with anyone, and you definitely give me the best orgasms of my life."

"All this talk you're gonna get me ready to go again."

"Good," she smiled. "Because I say we leave and go back to my place. I'm still so wet Sawyer."

"Well," he began. "I'm glad, but if we're gonna walk back to your place, I'm not really in the mood to walk down the street with my dick rock hard."

Kate giggled and leaned toward him to kiss him. She rested her head against his chest, and kissed it softly. It was wet with sweat and it tasted like him. She loved the way that he smelled and tasted after sex. They had been cuddling for less than 2 minutes when Sawyer sat up and tossed the blanket off of them.

"We going to your place?" he asked. He started getting dressed and handed Kate her pants. She smiled at him and pulled them on. Sawyer was watching her and looked at the bruises.

"Freckles," he whispered and stepped toward her. He brought her shirt with him and put it over her head. "Freckles, I'm so so sorry."

"I told you," she shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"I hurt you," he sighed. "I forced myself on you-"

"You're acting like you attacked me or something," she interrupted. "And you didn't. You were right…you whispered to me 'you want me…you know you want me'. You were right. I did. And the fact that you were dominating me was only making me want you more. But I was still pissed at you. And that overtook my lust."

"I bruised you," he whispered. "I put a mark on you."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You did. About 3 days ago."

"What?" he asked.

"It's not from earlier today," she replied. "I told you…you didn't hurt me today. Those bruises were from a couple days ago."

"That's not good Freckles," he mumbled. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "I don't want to stop having sex. I like it rough, if you haven't noticed."

"But we don't always have to be so rough," he argued with her.

"No," she shook her head. "Not always…but believe me…you've given me other bruises other than these. You should have seen me after we had sex that first night. I had bruises all over my body from being slammed into the walls."

They were both dressed, and their was one final knock at the door. Kate stood up and opened the door. Both Kyle and Jill were standing in front of her.

"Are you done having sex?" Jill asked.

"Nope," Sawyer shook his head. "Can't you tell. We're both still naked and moaning."

"That was disgusting," Jill shook her head. "I thought you had more class than that Kate."

"Well at least my man can keep me satisfied," she answered. "When was the last time you guys had sex…probably before I met Sawyer. Now if you'll excuse us we're going back to my place."

"So you can wake up your building?" Jill asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "It's only 10:00...if people are sleeping already that ain't my problem."

"Well can't we at least just talk before you leave?" Jill questioned calmly.

"What the hell do you want to talk to us about?" Kate asked.

"The fact that earlier today Sawyer made you cry, and now you almost burned down the whole place because you couldn't keep your hands off each other. We're both sick of it."

"He never hurt me," Kate argued. "He never touched me…well he did, but he wasn't hurting me. We love each other Jill."'

"Ok," Kyle started. "That's fine…neither of us care that you love each other. But you almost let the whole place go up in flames because you couldn't keep your hands off each other."

"We would have put out the fire eventually," Sawyer said.

"When?" Jill asked. "When it was out the door? You two have sex more than any other couple I know…and Kate, you don't even live here."

"She as good as lives here," Kyle argued. "She doesn't ever leave. She and Sawyer are always in here fucking. I want to know how the hell either of you have any energy."

"Don't take it out on us because you two don't have sex anymore," Sawyer said. "And might I remind you that Jill as good as lives here too? I mean she's been coming here, spending the night for the past year and a half. She doesn't even pay rent.

"Shut up Sawyer," Jill scoffed. "Kate doesn't pay rent either."

"Can we go?" Kate asked. "I don't think we should have to ask permission to leave. Especially since I don't live here…come on Sawyer."

"We don't want you to leave," Jill replied. "I mean you're welcome to stay here Kate-"

"Nice of you to give my girlfriend permission to stay here," Sawyer sighed. "She can stay here any time she wants. But neither of us want to be here anymore. We're going back to her place where we can have sex with the door opened if we want to…without being interrupted. I swear you two...neither of you know how to knock, and you don't know what the phrase 'go away' means. Kate and I haven't had a night together with zero interruptions…I think ever. Even on that first night Kyle knocked on the door when we were in the middle of getting to know each other."

"What kind of slut has sex with a guy she just met anyway?" Jill asked. Kate let out a soft scoff and got up.

"I really don't have to sit here and take this anymore," she answered. "I'm going to go back to my place. Are you coming Sawyer?"

"Yeah," he nodded. They walked out of the room and out of the apartment.

Sawyer looked at Kate as they started walking down the sidewalk. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly. She turned toward him and smiled widely.

"Do you think they'll follow us?" she asked. "I mean…they love interrupting us so much…you know…after all this I'm not even in the mood anymore. I just-I mean I guess I know where they're coming from, because I'd be jealous of us too."

They were walking past a small alley. Sawyer grabbed her by the hand gently and pulled her down the alley. He pushed her against the hard brick and kissed her.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I love you Kate," he shook his head. "We've known each other 2 months and I'm completely in love with you."

"I love you too," Kate said.

"I want you to come live at my apartment," he stated. "I want you to move in. And I want to marry you."

"What?" she asked.

"Let's get married," he repeated. "Let's just drive to Vegas or somethin'. It's only a few hours away. We can go right now."

"Right now?" she shook her head. "Are you insane?"

"Probably," he answered. "Kate…I don't want to be apart from you anymore. We've only spent a couple nights apart in the past 2 months. I'm just-I know this sounds crazy Freckles, but we love each other…so why not get married. If you can give me a good reason not to get married."

Kate took a deep breath. At the moment she couldn't think of anything other than the fact that they didn't know each other.

"Because we don't know each other," she shrugged. "We don't know anything about what we did in or pasts."

"Ok," he sighed. "Sawyer...When I was 8, my mom had an affair with a man…he conned them. They ended up giving him all their money. When my dad found out that we were broke and my mom had cheated on him it broke his heart. He killed her…and then he killed himself too. I was hiding under my bed."

"So then why-" she started.

"That's the sad part Freckles," he interrupted. "I was 19...I needed some money so I found a stupid woman with a rich husband. And I got 'em to give me their money. I became Sawyer. I'm going to kill that man someday. He ruined my life…so I'm gonna end his."

Kate stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around him. He shook his head and took her arms from around his neck. He looked at the ground and sighed.

"I don't need your pity," he mumbled. "You're the only good thing that has ever happened to me Kate. I love you."

"I think you just wrote your wedding vows," Kate chuckled. "I know it sounds crazy James, but yes. I'll marry you. Let's go now."

"This is nuts," he said smiling.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But we've always been a little spontaneous. I mean if you would have told me that I was gonna go home and have the best sex of my life with a total stranger I would have thought you were crazy."

"Well let's get going," he said stepping toward her. "The sooner we get to Vegas, the sooner we can get married and then we can get some seedy hotel and have some more of that great sex."

Kate smiled at him and rewrapped her arms around him. She kissed his lips and pushed her tongue past his lips. He backed away and grabbed her by the hand. They walked back toward the apartment complex where Sawyer's car was parked. As they walked they went past a small convenience store. There was 3 machines with different toys or candy in them. The first machine had gum balls, the second had ugly necklaces, but the third had rings. Sawyer put his hand in his pocket and realized he didn't have any money with him.

"I think I have some change," Kate said. She put her hand into her own pocket and found a quarter. She put the quarter into the machine and Sawyer pushed her away.

"You're not paying for your engagement ring," he argued.

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "It's 25 cents. I think that I can handle that…plus you don't have any money on you and I always said that I wasn't gonna get married unless I had a ring on my finger. So…"

She stepped forward to turn the knob, and get a prize.

"Well then at least let me do the honors," he argued again. He turned the knob and they heard the small plastic container fall. Sawyer lifted up the door and picked up the container. He opened it and put the ring on Kate's finger. It wasn't exactly pretty, or cute. In fact it was kind of ugly, but Kate didn't mind. It was the thought that counted.

"Will you marry me?" he asked.

"Yes," she smiled. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her.

They walked back to the apartment complex and Sawyer dug into his pockets for his keys. He shook his head and looked back at Kate.

"I must have left my keys up in the apartment. Do you wanna stay here?" he asked.

"Hell no," she shook her head. "Let's go make Jill and Kyle really crazy."

"You're gonna tell them?" he questioned.

"Sure," she shrugged. "Especially if I'm gonna be moving in with you."

"Why can't we move into your place?" he asked.

"Because your place is bigger," she replied.

They went into the building and toward the door. Sawyer turned the knob, and it was locked. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There was sounds coming from the other end of the door, but it didn't sound like they were coming to the door. Sawyer and Kate could hear them whispering on the other end of the door.

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed. "Open the door. Quit being assholes."

The door opened, but the chain lock was still attached.

"Will you please let us in?" Kate asked.

"Changed your mind about going to your place?" Kyle asked.

"No," she shook her head. "We're going to Vegas, but Sawyer needs his keys."

"Why are you going to Vegas?" Jill asked.

"Can you just let us in?" Sawyer asked. "Either that or hand me my keys. I think they're on the counter."

Kyle shut the door and then opened it to let them in. Sawyer silently went to the counter and picked up his keys. He walked back to the door and practically pushed Kate back out of the room. Kate stopped and shook her head.

"Come on," she whispered. "Kyle is your best friend. Don't you want him to be there."

"You're my best friend Kate," he whispered back. He kissed her softly and quickly.

"I'm telling them," she replied. "Kyle…I know that you probably think we're crazy and stupid, but we're going to Vegas to get married. We want to be together. Neither of us want to spend a day apart. And I know it sounds silly and crazy, but we just love each other…so we're getting married."

"Sawyer are you moving out of here then...moving in to be alone?" Kyle asked, almost disappointed.

"Neither of us can afford that," Kate shrugged. "So we're just gonna move in here I guess…if that's ok with you. I mean…Kyle I like you. You're a good guy, and I don't mind living with you…when you're not interrupting us or being an asshole."

"So you're really getting married?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer answered.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Kyle chuckled. "We gotta get there and go to the strip club for the bachelor party."

"Do you think you two can wait one day?" Jill asked. "If you're gonna get married you both deserve one more night of being single and stupid."

"We can go to Las Vegas first thing in the morning," Kyle replied. "Boys in one car girls in the other. And then tomorrow night we can have the bachelor/bachelorette parties…you can get married the next day."

"Hello," Sawyer interrupted. "Isn't this our wedding? Don't you think me and Kate should be making these decisions?"

"Yes," Kyle nodded. "Of course."

"You're really ok with all this?" Kate asked.

"Do I think it's crazy?" Kyle started. "Yeah. But Sawyer man, you're still my best friend. I mean come on...I'm gonna take you out to celebrate."

"Maybe they're right," Kate shrugged. "It's just all going so fast."

"And look at that ring," Jill said. "I mean it's cute and sweet, but you should go get her a real ring."

"No," Kate shook her head and turned toward Sawyer. "My ring is perfect. I love this ring. I don't want you to have to waste your money on a ring for me."

"It won't be wasted money Freckles," he answered quietly.

"So first thing in the morning?" she asked. "We'll drive there…have our parties and be married the next day?"

"Why wait though?" he asked. "Why not just get married when we get to Vegas?"

"Because," Jill began. "I wanna take Kate out. Go to the salon and get our hair done. And then plan a real wedding...well not really real, but something better than a wedding at 3 in the morning."

"Fine," Sawyer mumbled. "Now...Kate are you ready to go back to our room...I can call it our room now."

"Well ok," Kyle sighed. "And you better make the most of tonight cuz tomorrow night you're not allowed to sleep in the same room."

"Why not?" Kate asked. They all started walking toward the bedrooms. When they got to Sawyer and Kate's room, they all went inside. Sawyer looked at Kyle and Jill like they were crazy.

"So why can't me and Kate sleep in the same room tomorrow?" Sawyer asked.

"Because the bride and groom aren't supposed to see each other before the wedding," Jill answered simply.

"Since when did we ever do anything traditionally?" he asked. "I mean…wasn't it you who asked who has sex with total strangers? Well here's another question. Who falls in love after knowing each other for one day? I'll tell ya who…we do. So we're not spending a day a part."

"Well you're gonna be with me and Kyle now," she answered. "We'll keep you guys away from each other."

"Ok," Kate began. "We can argue about this later…but for now would you leave? We'll see you guys in the morning. And I say we leave early because the sooner we get there the sooner we can start partying and planning the quick wedding."

Kyle and Jill left the room. Kate got up off the bed and locked the door behind them. She turned back toward Sawyer and shook her head. Sawyer went toward her and took her hand in his. He looked at the 25 cent ring on her finger and let out a soft chuckle.

"That is one ugly ring Freckles," he told her.

"Do you think we're crazy?" she asked quietly. "Is this all too fast?"

"Of course we're crazy babe," he smiled. "It's crazy and fast, but that's who we are."

He lead her over to the bed and sat down. She sat down next to him and put her head on his shoulder. He put his hand on the back of her neck and moved his mouth toward hers. He kissed her lips and then laid down, bringing her with him.

"Wait," she whispered. "Confession time first."

"You wanna ruin the mood with that?" he asked.

"I killled my father," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"I found out that my asshole step dad was my real father," she sighed. "I was all alone in my mom's house and I read a letter that the man who I thought was my father had sent to my mom. He was in Iraq when I was conceived. He didn't come home till my mom was almost 5 months pregnant with me. And the weird thing is he always treated me like his little girl. He never looked at me like I was some other man's daughter…Anyway he's dead. My mom turned me in, but the cops don't know that I'm still in town."

"Looks like we have somethin' in common Freckles," he sighed.

"I just really needed to tell you," she sighed. "Tell someone that might be able to understand. And I have one more thing to tell you."

"Oh boy Freckles," he started. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"I haven't done much I'm proud of," she told him. "I used to be pretty…I guess the word is promiscuous. In high school…I had pretty low self-esteem I guess. My dad…well the man I thought was my dad…he was never home and my mom she had a lot of men-why am I telling you this?"

"Because," he whispered. "You're trying to let me know who you are. There ain't much I'm proud of either. I was…well…what you so eloquently called promiscuous, as well. Lets face it I was a fucking asshole. I slept with women and then conned them out of their money. I learned all the tricks in every book."

"You mean like Kama Sutra?" she asked with a smile.

"To name one," he smiled. "Anyway…I've been with a lot of girls, but I've only _been _with one…and that's why I want to marry you."

"Well that's the other thing that might cause a problem," she answered. "My name is Katherine Austen…but I have an ID that says I'm really Katherine Hopkins."

"I just needed to tell you I guess," she sighed. "I wanted our relationship to be based on more than just great sex."

"Well," he began. "Now that we've told our deep dark secrets how about some of that great sex Freckles?"

"Is that all you think about?" she asked with a slight laugh.

"Yeah," he answered honestly.

"Me too," she smirked. "Especially right now. You look really good right now."

"Really?" he asked. "I'm in jeans and a t-shirt…same thing I wear every day."

"Yeah," she replied, moving over him. "But now…we're engaged. With my ugly engagement ring."

She leaned down and kissed his lips. He moved his hands up the back of her shirt and unhooked her bra with one hand. She rolled over so he was on top of her. She put her mouth on his neck and moved across down his chest. He was moving his hands down her body. He got to the top of her jeans and moved his hand in them without bothering to unbutton them.

"I'm going to fuck you every night once we're married," he whispered into her ear.

"We do anyway," she breathed. She moved against his hand. She sat up and lifted her shirt up over her head. Since her bra was already unhooked, she let it fall between them. He looked at her before pushing her back down and continued to push her to the edge. He was still fully clothed as she climaxed for the first time. She pushed his shirt up over his head and tossed it on the floor. Her ring scratched his back.

"Dammit," he said under his breath.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. She took the ring off and put it on the bedside table. He started running his hands over her breasts and she started working at his pants. He got off of her long enough to take his pants off the rest of the way. She put her hands on his back and pulled him closer to her. She ground her hips into him, without him actually penetrating her. He let out a deep moan and covered her mouth with his.

"Let's try one of those positions that you've learned," Kate said softly.

"Can you put your legs over your head?" he asked with a smirk. Kate lifted each of her legs up on to Sawyer's shoulders. He pushed himself into her and ran his hands down her legs. She moaned softly and put her hand on him as he pushed in and out of her.

"You're gonna make me come Sawyer," she whispered. As she spoke he groaned deeply and came hard and fast.

"I love when you talk like that," he said softly. He pulled out of her and kissed her on the forehead. He laid down next to her. She turned toward him and started kissing him again. She ran her fingers through his hair and continued to kiss him. She stayed off of him, but put her head next to his.

"You like when I talk dirty," she whispered. He closed his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah," he answered. "But I dunno Kate. I'm kinda tired."

"You're the one who wanted me to keep up with you," she said. "Remember? That night we met. You made me so wet that night before we even got back here."

"Jeez Freckles," he breathed.

"Do you remember putting your hands on me?" she asked. "Do you remember the way you fucked me so hard? Because I remember that."

She reached down and put her hand on his erection that never had the chance to fully go away. She let go and smiled at him

"You touch me like that again Freckles and we're gonna have a whole bunch of me all in this bed," he said shifting in the bed.

"Duly noted," she whispered. She touched him again and he came all over her hand. She laughed and brought her hand back out. She reached over and took the box of tissues from the bedside table. She wiped her hand off and smiled again at Sawyer.

"Quit smiling like that at me," he whispered.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because," he started. "I need some time to recover."

"My smile makes you hard?" she asked.

"Sometimes," he said. This time it was his turn to smile.

"That's really sweet," she began. "I guess. It's kind of weird too…but it's sweet. Goodnight James."

"Goodnight Fiancé," he stated, pulling her closer. She reached over and picked up her ring from the bedside table. She put it back on and snuggled against Sawyer's chest.

**A/N: Ok so the next chapter will be the trip to Vegas. I hope that everyone still likes my story! Please please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: OK so this chapter is the trip to Las Vegas. I hope that you all enjoy it. Katie-I'm glad that you are still enjoying it!**

The next morning Kate woke up to Sawyer laying on top of her. He was planting wet kisses on her neck and face. She didn't know how long he had been there, but he was already hard, and she was wet. She figured that he had touched her gently enough for her to not wake up…but she couldn't believe that she didn't wake up before then. She was really not in the mood right then. She wanted to take a shower and get going to Vegas, plus she was still trying to recover from the previous night. She pushed him off of her.

"Sawyer," she mumbled. "Get off."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm still kinda sore from last night," she stated. "Just…let's get ready to go."

Kate got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. She turned on the water and stepped inside. The water was hot and it felt good. She noticed that there was a small bruise on her hip from the previous night. She sighed to herself and shook her head. She shouldn't be proud of such a thing, but she was. She and Sawyer were always so hot for each other that neither of them cared when it hurt.

She started to wash her hair. She closed her eyes and put her face in the water to rinse the shampoo from her face and hair. She felt two arms come around her from behind. She hadn't heard Sawyer come into the bathroom, so it startled her, but she knew that it was just him. She couldn't help but to admire his persistence.

"Mornin'," he whispered into her ear.

"Good morning Cowboy," she said turning toward him. He quickly brought his lips to hers. Neither of them wanted to come up for air. Sawyer shoved her against the shower wall. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him. Neither of them could wait a moment longer. Sawyer pushed himself into her. She kissed his neck and started sucking at it as he thrust into her. He put his mouth on the top of her breast and was sucking just as hard. They both came at the same time, and Sawyer pulled back. He began washing Kate's body and running his fingers down her body. She loved his hands on her, whether it was in a sexual manner or not. He always made her feel protected and safe. She stood up on her tip toes and kissed his lips. He looked at her breast and chuckled.

"Look," he said poking at it. She looked down and there was a large purple bite mark on it. She laughed and put her hand on top of it to cover it.

"You got one too," she told him, putting her hand on his neck and touching the place where she had sucked.

They got out of the shower and Kyle was waiting outside of the door waiting for his turn. Kate turned pink and wrapped her towel tighter around her body. Sawyer smiled widely at Kyle and put his arm around Kate's shoulder. Kyle looked at them and let out a grumble.

"Great," he mumbled. "Now I'm gonna have to disinfect the shower floor before I take mine. Can't you guys go 7 hours without touching each other."

"No," they answered simultaneously. Kyle sighed and walked past them.

That afternoon the 4 of them were driving to Las Vegas. Kate and Sawyer thought it was stupid to go in separate cars. Kyle and Jill decided that they were probably right. Kate and Sawyer kept flirting with each other, sitting in the back seat. They only did it more when Jill and Kyle were getting annoyed with it. Sawyer tickled the back of Kate's neck with his fingers and she let out a laugh that was much louder than she meant to. Jill looked back at them and rolled her eyes.

"You know," she began. "I used to think you guys were cute, but forget it…you're way too into each other."

"He tickled me!" Kate whined loudly.

Once they arrived in Vegas the girls and guys went their separate ways…not for Kate and Sawyer's lack of trying. They were walking in opposite directions and Kate turned back. Jill tried to grab her arm to stop her, but it was too late. Kate walked back toward Sawyer and pulled him toward her.

"If you go to a strip club do me a favor," she whispered.

"What's that?" he smirked.

"Don't enjoy it," she stated. "And if you do enjoy it…at least wish I was there to give you a better lap dance."

"I'll keep that in mind Freckles," he said stepping toward her. "So are you gonna give me a lap dance later tonight?"

"Probably not tonight," she shrugged. "I think Jill's goal tonight is to keep me away from you. But it can be your wedding present I guess."

She gave him a long lingering kiss and then walked back toward where Jill was waiting impatiently.

"You're pathetic," she scoffed. "You can't spend one day and night away from him?"

"Yeah," Kate argued. "It's the whole…bachelor party thing that freaks me out. I mean you know that they're gonna go to some strip club. And you know that Sawyer's gonna get at least one lap dance for being the 'special' boy."

"How do you know so much about strip clubs?" Jill asked, slightly shocked at Kate's knowledge.

"Hey, I've been to one or two in my day…plus I've seen movies," Kate answered simply.

"Don't worry," Jill said somewhat loudly. "We'll get you a hot man to strip for you."

The boys were still not far enough away and Sawyer heard what Jill said. He ran toward her and pulled her toward him.

"One last kiss," he whispered. "To remember that my mouth and body are way better than some stripper's."

She smirked and gave him another kiss. This time it was passionate and they weren't backing away from each other.

"Don't worry Sawyer," she started. "I think most male strippers a probably gay anyway."

"Thank god," he said, and he covered her mouth with his again. Kyle grabbed Sawyer by the shoulder, and Jill took Kate's. They pulled them off of each other and started walking away.

"We got separate hotel rooms so don't even think that you're going to be giving him a lap dance tonight," Jill replied once they were far enough away from the boys.

They all partied into the night. Jill made Kate have a lap dance at the male strip club they had gone to. It was all just fun before that. They were laughing at the men and at how ridiculous they looked, but then Jill paid one of them to come and give a private dance to Kate. He was pretty attractive, but Kate didn't exactly like the fact that he was sweating on her. She never minded Sawyer's sweat, but this man was a stranger and he wasn't Sawyer. He was also wearing a strong cologne that made Kate sick. But it was still amusing to see him shake his junk at her. She mostly laughed, and hoped the man didn't take offense to it. Jill explained to the man that she was just drunk.

By the time they got back to the hotel room Kate was falling over drunk. Jill was trying to help her stand but wasn't succeeding. Jill was also pretty drunk so it wasn't an easy task. . Once they got into the room Kate and Jill did some more drinking, and just talked about the fact that Kate was almost married.

Kate was laying in her bed alone. She was pissed that Jill and Kyle had separated her and Sawyer. She was still drunk and now she was feeling extra horny because of the alcohol. The stripper was supposed to be fun, and it was to a certain extent. He had grossed her out, but now more than ever she wished that Sawyer was laying next to her. He would kiss her and stroke her hair. And then he would move his hands down-. She stopped thinking about what Sawyer could be doing to her right now. She needed someone to touch her and relieve her of what she was feeling, but she wouldn't be able to since Jill was laying in the bed next to hers. She just kept thinking about earlier that morning, when Sawyer had come to keep her company in the shower. She couldn't believe that was today. She supposed that she could just go get into the shower so she could relieve herself, but she didn't want to give Jill any ideas of what she was doing in there. Kate sighed to herself. She now needed Sawyer in the bed more than ever, from thinking too much about their hot shower sex.

"Kate are you awake?" Jill asked, slurring her words as she talked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Can't we just go down and get the boys? I mean I can go there and I'll send Kyle back here."

"No," she said. "You can't see Sawyer in the morning…it's bad luck."

"I don't believe in luck," Kate argued. "I don't care if I see Sawyer before we get married. I just miss him."

"You just saw him 2 hours ago," Jill replied. "Just go to bed."

It was true. They had bumped into the boys on the way back to the hotel. Kate had kissed Sawyer sloppily on the mouth, and then continued to walk with Jill back to the hotel.

"Jill," Kate started. "I know you're just as horny as me. I just want to spend the night with Sawyer."

"Here…have another shot," Jill said, handing the bottle of tequila to Kate. Kate took a drink from the bottle and set it down on the bedside table between the two beds. Jill turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels. They came across a movie that wasn't exactly a porno, but it definitely had mature adult content. Jill changed the channel quickly. Everything that she flipped the TV to reminded them of the boys. Jill sighed and slammed the remote down on the table.

"Fine," she sighed. "I'm gonna go down there…I'm just gonna talk to him."

"Yeah right," Kate scoffed. "Send Sawyer down here so we can 'talk'."

"No," Jill answered. "You have to keep at least one thing still traditional."

"Why?" Kate practically whined.

"Because I said so," Jill responded.

"Fine," Kate sighed. "Tell Sawyer I love him and I can't wait till tomorrow night."

Jill rolled her eyes and left the hotel room. Kate fell back against her pillows. She was still dizzy and drunk. The bottle of tequila looked inviting. She picked it up and took another swig straight from the bottle. The bottle was almost gone. She and Jill polished off almost the entire bottle by themselves. They were both small girls, so they were both pretty toasted. She was still horny. She wished that Sawyer could somehow sneak into the room. She laid down on the bed and continue to think about Sawyer touching her and holding her. She slid her hand back between her legs. As she moved her fingers in she thought about Sawyer. Sawyer's lips on her. His tongue sliding inside of her. She knew that she let out a very audible moan, and she was hoping that Jill wouldn't walk back in right then. She rolled over on her stomach to force her fingers in further. She moved her hips back and forth and continued to think about Sawyer. Tasting his lips after he made her come with his tongue. One night he woke her up and was screwing her from behind. His hands were all over her body and only made the pleasure more intense by whispering into her ear. He told her what it felt like to fuck her. She couldn't seem to bring herself to climax. She figured that she was trying too hard. She relaxed her self and brought her mind back to more clear thoughts of him. Suddenly she felt someone leaning over her.

"Freckles," she heard in her ear. "You want some help."

She nodded and didn't speak. She was close, but having him touch her would definitely push her completely over the edge. He flipped her over and put his hand on top of hers. She pulled her hand away slowly and waited for Sawyer to touch her. He was enjoying watching her wait. He didn't touch her.

"Sawyer," she breathed. He finally touched her and easily slid his fingers into her.

"You're so wet," he whispered, putting more of his body weight on her. "I don't think you've ever been this wet. What have you been doing?"

She climaxed and then flipped over on top of him. She didn't speak, but instead just kissed him. She kissed his rough cheeks and started rocking her hips back and forth. He wasn't wearing anything except for his boxers, which made her glad. He was already thick and hard with need, and becoming harder by the minute.

"Sit up," she said to him, forcefully.

"What?" he asked.

"Shut up and just do what I say," she said. She kissed him eagerly and forced him to sit up. She sat on his lap with one leg on either side of his.

"You gonna give me that lap dance Freckles?" he asked.

"What did I just say? Shut up," she said. "And my name isn't Freckles. It's Kat Diamond."

"That's a pretty name," he smirked.

"Now," she began. "You wait right there. I was supposed to save this for tomorrow, but I'll just go get something else for tomorrow."

She got off the bed and went to her dresser. She pulled out a small shopping bag, that didn't look like it could fit any article of clothing in it. She went into the bathroom and came back quickly in a sheer, nighty that hardly covered her. It came to just above her knees. It was a white color and it floated as she walked. There was strings, tied into a bow to keep it closed, and keep the mystery somewhat alive, but since it was mostly see through there wasn't much of a mystery. She was also wearing a tiny pair of lacy underwear. Sawyer couldn't be totally sure, but he was pretty sure that it was a thong. He would only know when she turned around. Sawyer shifted on the bed and Kate grabbed one of the chairs and placed it in the middle of the room.

"Sit here Mr. Ford," she said, still speaking domineering. He scrambled off the bed and sat down on the chair. She stood in front of him and turned around so her back was to him. He had been right when he thought the underwear she was wearing were thongs. She walked over to where the bottle of tequila was waiting. There was only two or three shots left.

"So," she began. "You're getting married tomorrow?"

"That's the plan," he said, in a very distracted voice. She took a drink from the bottle and then offered it to Sawyer. He went toward it, but then she pulled it back and teased him. She put the bottle down and bent over and pushed her ass up toward him. He had the urge to grab on to it with both hands so he did.

"No touching the dancers," she stated, standing back up and waving her finger at him. "What would your fiancé say?"

"Oh, she wouldn't mind," Sawyer shook his head. "She would think you were damn sexy and she'd forgive me."

"Think so huh?" Kate asked. "Well alright…what about if I did this-"

Kate turned back around, so her back was to him again and sat on his lap. She reached for his hand and ran it down her body. He wished with every fiber of his being that he could actually be watching her facial expression, but her back was still to him. She could feel his erection on her back and stood up and turned around again. She took one quick glance at it, not being able to help herself.

"Mr. Ford," she began. "That isn't very professional."

"Hey," he shrugged. "It has a mind of it's own. You're the one turnin' me on…what was it, Ms. Diamond?"

"Yep," she answered. She picked up the bottle of tequila, and reached for a glass which was on the table behind Sawyer. She now sat down facing him. She pressed her breasts against his chest and started grinding into him. He let out a breath and started breathing heavily on her neck. He tried to kiss her neck, but she moved in time. She poured him a shot and handed it to him. She stood up and picked up the lime and the salt which was also on the table behind Sawyer. She sat back down on his lap and brushed her fingers against his erection. She licked her fingers tantalizingly and rubbed them on her neck to make her neck wet. She shook the salt on to her neck and put the lime wedge in her mouth. Took the lime wedge out of her mouth and looked at him.

"You do know how to do a tequila shot don't you Mr. Ford?" she asked him. Without answering verbally he put the lime back into Kate's mouth and licked her neck. He took the shot and then took the lime out of her mouth with his. She took the lime out of her mouth and continued to kiss his lips.

"Hmm," she said into his mouth. "You taste good."

"So do you," he smiled.

"What would your fiancé say about one last night of reckless abandon? I mean we don't know each other," she continued. "But you seem to have taken a fancy to me…and you're not so bad yourself. Should we continue this on the bed?"

"Yes," he breathed. She got off him again and took him by the hand to the bed. She pushed him down gently, but still in complete control. She straddled his legs again, but this time he was laying down. She took his hands and kissed his fingers.

"We'll take this nice and slow," she whispered. "And don't worry…if you won't tell…I won't tell."

"Freckles," he groaned.

"Name's either Kat, or Ms. Diamond," she corrected him. "Get it right or I'm going to have to whip you for being a very bad boy."

"You bought a whip!?" he asked, almost coming completely out of this illusion that Kate had created.

"You just let me worry about that," she said, trying to force him back into her fantasy world. "Now…where were we? Oh yes…" She took his hand in hers again and brought it up to where the tiny nightgown tied between her boobs. Sawyer untied it without having to be asked. She let it slide off her shoulders, so she was just in the skimpy thong.

"What do you do for a living Mr. Ford?" she asked.

"I dunno," he mumbled. She kissed his lips seductively and pulled back. He kept his arms to his sides, waiting to be told what to do next.

"We don't have a lot of time left," she said somewhat sadly. "I have to be back by midnight."

She only said this because she wasn't exactly sure when Jill would be back to interrupt them, and she really didn't want to be interrupted during this very sexy role playing game that she didn't even know she had in her to create. Sawyer looked over at the clock. It was 20 minutes to 12:00.

"We got plenty of time Fr-Kat," he said. She ground into him again and could feel that he was definitely rock hard and waiting for her to tell him when she was ready.

"So," she started. "Do you think we should have one final night of passion before you're married?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"How?" she asked. "Do you want me to be in control?"

"Yes," he replied. She had an inkling that the word yes was all he could say at the moment. She decided that she would ask another question to see if he was paying attention.

"Do you want us to get caught?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Are you ready for me to fuck your brains out?" she whispered. Without waiting for an answer she lifted herself over him and slid onto him with ease. She started to kiss his chest. She nipped gently at him. Even though it was light bites, they still left tiny marks on his body. She moved on top of him and pushed herself as far as she could onto him.

"Kate," he groaned. He flipped over on top of her and began to thrust. She moaned once, but then wanted control back.

"Who?" she asked, flipping them back over and holding him down. He shook his head, and seemed to have forgotten what her pretend name was.

"Kat," he remembered. "Kat…now, can I have control back?"

"Hell no," she answered. "You should learn a little something from this cowboy. Once you give me the remote control, you ain't ever getting it back."

She flipped them back over and looked up at him.

"Now," she began. "Fuck me faster Mr. Ford."

He complied, but before he could thrust a second time he came. It was a mixture of her words, the fact that she had brought her mouth to his chest and was licking him, and she also had reached between them and touched herself and him at the same time. He collapsed on to her and she giggled softly. He took a deep breath and brought his hand up to her face.

"Holy crap Kate," he whispered. She giggled again and pushed him up so she could look at him. He was still inside of her. He kissed her softly and then laid back down on her bare chest. She stroked his hair, which was damp with sweat. She was done playing her game, as fun as it had been, and just ran her fingers through his hair. Both of their breaths returned to normal and Sawyer was kissing Kate's bare chest, while keeping his head resting there.

"Hey," she said quietly. "How'd you get away from the Nazi's? And how did you get in here without a key?"

"I got kicked out of Kyle's room," he shrugged. "Apparently a drunk Jilly Bean is a very horny Jilly Bean."

"That makes two of us," Kate whispered and let out a soft chuckle.

"Anyway Jill told me to wait out in the hall…but I stole her key on my way out."

"You're sneaky Mr. Ford," Kate said. She was now running her fingers up and down his back. He didn't really feel like he could move, so he continued to lay inside of her with his head resting comfortably on her breasts.

"You're heart is still beating really fast," he said. She bucked her hips upward to tease him, and it worked, because he began to harden again. But they both laid motionless, feeling too tired to go again.

"I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow," she whispered.

"Do you not want to?" he asked.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Of course I do. More than anything Sawyer."

Sawyer finally rolled off of her and pulled her toward him. She snuggled into him and kissed his lips. They both fell asleep and were sleeping for a while when there was a loud knock at the door.

"Sawyer!" Jill yelled. "You're in big trouble."

Sawyer smirked at Kate and got up out of bed. He opened the door and looked at her.

"Look," he started. "It ain't my fault that you left the key where anyone could get to it and take it. And me and Kate were just as horny as you and Kyle. She's the bachelorette, I think she deserves to have anything she wants…and she wanted me."

"Fine," Jill sighed with a smile. "You're forgiven…go to bed. You can see Kate in the morning."

"Night Kat," he said turning back toward her. She would have answered but she was already sleeping.

"Kat?" Jill asked. Sawyer shook his head. This was one sexual encounter that was definitely going to be kept between him and his Kat Diamond.

**A/N: So I worked really hard on this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. ;). Please please please review!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I'm so flipping excited for a week from now. In a week the episodes start back up here in the US...but don't worry I won't be talking about it so as not to spoil it. I hope that everyone is still enjoying my story. **

Kate woke up in the morning and put her hands to her face. She had a throbbing headache. She regretted drinking the amount that she did. She hadn't had that much to drink in a long time. She had a vague recollection of what she and Sawyer had done. She knew that it had been amazing, and hot and sexy...but she couldn't remember all of it, which sort of disappointed her. All she knew is that she was completely naked, laying in the bed. She was sort of cold too because all that was covering her was a sheet.

"What the hell did Sawyer do to you last night?" Jill asked.

"Nothing," Kate answered. "What makes you think he did anything to me?"

"Because you kept moaning his name last night in your sleep," she replied with her eyebrows raised. "It was kinda gross actually."

"Sorry," Kate turned red and tried to remember the dream she could have been having, but she couldn't.

"Whatever," Jill shrugged. "It's not like I've never had a sex dream. It must have been from what ever the hell you guys did last night, because he was definitely beaming when he left."

Kate sat up and covered herself with the sheet. Jill averted her eyes to the floor and then bent down to pick something up Kate figured. When she stood up she was holding Kate's white nighty and stared at Kate.

"You ruined the surprise!" she exclaimed. "You bought this for tonight."

"Oh yeah," Kate stated, turning red. "I remember wearing that. I'll just get something else. I need to go shopping before the wedding."

"You couldn't wait one more night to show that to Sawyer?" Jill asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I told you…I was horny. And I wanted to do something with him that we'd never done before. We definitely never did anything like what we did last night."

"Yeah," Jill said furrowing her eyebrows. "He called you Kat as he was leaving last night."

Kate smiled to herself, but didn't explain to Jill what it meant. She grabbed the robe off the end of her bed to wrap around her naked body. She stood up and went into the bathroom. She was so hung over, and she didn't want to throw up. She put her head against the cold edge of the sink. She took a deep breath and willed her self not to throw up. She kept taking short breaths hoping that the nausea would go away. It didn't so she went over to the toilet just in case. She dry heaved a couple times, and it was loud enough to get a knock at the door.

"Are you ok Kate?" Jill asked.

"Yeah," Kate called, without bothering to take her head out of the toilet.

"Should I go get Sawyer?" she asked.

_Now she's gonna let me see Sawyer? _Kate thought to herself, but didn't say anything. She didn't care of Sawyer saw her this way. Except for the fact that he never had seen her that way before.

"I'll be right back," Jill stated. Kate ignored Jill's statement, because the bottle of tequila that she had drunk came up into the toilet. Jill wasn't gone very long when there was a knock at the bathroom door. Kate groaned and the door opened slowly.

"Freckles," Sawyer whispered. "You ok."

She groaned again and threw up again. Sawyer walked toward her and held her hair back for her. It didn't take very much longer before Kate's stomach was empty for the most part. Sawyer handed her a glass of water and an aspirin. She took a big drink and Sawyer grabbed the glass from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Slowly," he chuckled. "I know you've been hung over before Kate."

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I'm thirsty."

"Course you are," he answered. "Alcohol makes you dehydrated. Just drink some more water…but slowly."

"I'm sorry," Kate sighed. She sniffled and two steady streams of tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"What?" he asked. "Why are you cryin'?"

"I ruined everything," she sobbed. "I ruined your surprise, and now I ruined the wedding."

"What surprise?" he asked.

"The lingerie I bought," she sniffled.

"Freckles," he shook his head. "That was like the best pre-wedding gift that anyone has ever gotten ever. I loved it. I hope that we can have hot sex like that again."

"Can we tonight?" she asked with a small smile.

"Well hell yeah!" he exclaimed. "Now…stand up sweetheart, and hop in the shower. I'll help you wash the puke out of your hair."

"Thanks," she whispered. "You're so good to me."

He stood up and helped her stand. He carefully took off the robe she was wearing and she stepped into the shower. He followed her and put his hands on her cheeks. He washed her hair and started washing her body. It was one of the first times that they were touching each other, without it being sexual. When they came out of the bathroom Jill handed Kate a shopping bag.

"I went shopping for ya," she whispered. "I promise Sawyer's gonna love it."

Kate smiled at her friend and thanked her silently. Sawyer walked with her over to the bed and she leaned forward to kiss him. He backed away before their lips touched.

"Babe," he started. "You know that I love you…and I definitely love kissing you, but you just spent the morning puking."

"So we're not gonna kiss after we're married?" she asked.

"Go brush your teeth," he told her. "And I'll see you when we get married. Jill's giving me the look. She wants me to leave. So get ready and I'll see you in a couple hours."

He kissed her gently on the nose and left the room. Kate laid back on the bed and sighed to herself. She looked at Jill and smiled at her.

"You two really do love each other don't you?" Jill asked. Kate smirked and nodded.

"Well," she began. "I didn't really think it was possible to fall in love so quickly with someone that I didn't know…but yeah. I love him…he's just amazing to me."

"Do you wanna see what I bought?" Jill asked. Kate smiled and nodded. Jill picked up the bag and handed it to Kate. Kate pulled out a red and black corset. Kate let out a laugh and looked up at Jill.

"You seriously want me to wear this?" Kate questioned. She looked at the corset again and held it up to her body. She shook her head and looked at Jill again.

"Ok," she said. "Lemme go try it on."

She got up and went into the bathroom. She was in there for quite a while before she came back out. Jill almost thought that she was getting sick again, but every time she knocked on the door Kate told her that she was fine. Kate finally came out of the bathroom, wearing the corset. It was very tight and Kate looked like she couldn't breathe.

"Wow," Jill smirked. "Maybe I should go buy another one for Kyle."

"How much do I owe you?" Kate asked.

"Nothing," Jill shook her head. "It's a wedding present."

"No," Kate answered. "You have to let me pay you back. I know that corsets are expensive."

"Well," she shrugged. "So are weddings, and yours isn't gonna cost that much, so I figured I'd splurge. Besides…if you had done this right, you would have had a wedding shower…probably more than one, and a bachelorette party, and then I would have had to get a wedding present too. I would have spent just as much."

"Ok," Kate smiled, but she still wanted to pay Jill back, but knowing that she wasn't going to take any money from her. She looked at Jill again and stood up.

"Can you breathe?" Jill asked.

"Not really no," Kate chuckled. "I was gonna just wear it under my clothes and then I'd be all ready, but that ain't gonna work."

"It took you long enough to get it on," Jill laughed.

"Well," she began. "It's hard to get it tight enough. My boobs look fantastic."

Jill let out a snort-like laugh and shook her head.

"What?" Kate asked. "They do!"

"Yeah," Jill nodded. "I must say that I'm jealous. And when Kyle finds out…he'll be really jealous."

Kate got ready to get married. She didn't want to wear the typical white dress. Not just because they didn't have time or money to buy a fancy dress, but she always felt strange when she wore dresses. She didn't feel like herself. Both Sawyer and Kate decided that for their wedding they would just their regular street clothes. They met in the lobby of the hotel and the four of them walked down the street to the closest wedding chapel, which happened to be only a block away. They decided also that they would write their own vows. They didn't want to use the traditional wedding vows because that just wasn't them.

"Sawyer," Kate began. "I met you only 2 months ago. I definitely never expected to fall in love with a stranger...but I love you Sawyer. I love you. And I promise to keep things interesting, and to make all your dreams come true."

"Me too," he replied and leaned in for the kiss.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed.

"Ok ok," he sighed. "Kate...Freckles. I don't fall in love...I saw you and I knew you were hot, but I didn't know that the same night we met would be the same night that I would fall in love for the first time. We're gonna be fantastic together...and I'm gonna make you as happy as I can. And I went and got you this..."

He pulled out a ring box out of his jeans pocket. When he opened the box their was a small diamond ring sitting in the box. Kate gasped and looked at Sawyer."

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I know," he began. "It ain't much, but-"

"No," she shook her head. "I love it."

They both didn't wait for the judge to pronounce them married before they kissed. Kate pushed against them, and their kiss became more passionate than either of them had ever kissed in public. Kyle and Jill both gagged loudly and they parted.

"Well let's go to the club!" Jill exclaimed.

"I don't think I can drink anything tonight," Kate said making a face.

"Well," Sawyer began. "Can you dance?"

"Maybe," she smirked. She jumped on his back and he carried her the rest of the way to the club. They all danced until they were so tired that they felt like they might just collapse. As they walked back to the hotel Jill carried her shoes. She had worn high heels that had given her blisters and her feet were killing her. Kate had worn tennis shoes but her feet still hurt from being on them all night. This night Kate and Sawyer went to the hotel room together, and Jill and Kyle went to the other one.

"You tired," Sawyer whispered into her ear before they even opened the door.

"Nah," she shook her head. "You?"

"No way," he answered. Sawyer pushed her into the room, and kissed her gently. He kicked the door with the bottom of his foot to get it to close. They walked into the room, still staying attached at the mouth.

"Wait here," Kate whispered.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"You'll see," she said. "I'll be back."

She went into the bathroom, and had a much easier time putting the corset on this time. She knew that the corset was perfect. Sawyer would definitely love it. She ran her fingers through her hair and made sure that her curly tendrils were messy, but not still pretty. She walked back out and stood in the doorway of the bathroom. Sawyer looked at her with his jaw opened.

"Are you kidding?" he asked.

"No jokes here baby," she smirked. He walked toward her and put his hands on her hips, and pulled her body against his.

"So," he started. "Last night you said something about a whip?"

"In your dreams cowboy," she chuckled.

"You said that you were going to make all my dreams come true," he argued.

"Damn," she whispered. "I guess you're right."

She walked over to her dresser and opened one of the drawers. She pulled out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and a whip. She raised her eyebrows at Sawyer and walked toward him. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her toward him. He kissed her on the lips and pushed her against the wall behind her. She kept laughing softly, which was only making him more turned on by her. She kept kissing him and then snapped one of the handcuffs on to his wrist. He chuckled at her and ran his hand down her body. She grabbed his other wrist and put the other handcuff on it. He looked at her and smiled.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"Don't worry," she began. "I ain't gonna hurt you."

"That ain't what I'm worried about," he whispered.

Kate pulled him over to the bed and pushed him down. She climbed on top of him and smiled down at him. He put his cuffed hands over her head to pull her closer to him. He kissed her and then flipped them over. He looked at the handcuffs and then at her.

"You mind releasing me?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I do mind. Why would I release you?"

"So I can have a better reach at you," he answered. "I can't run my hands all down your body with these handcuffs on."

"Well," she whispered. "Then I guess I'll just have to do that for you."

She brought her hands up to the top of her chest and ran her hands down her body and she wiggled underneath him. She kissed his lips and then gently pushed him over and started working on his shirt.

"You ain't gonna be able to get my shirt off with these cuffs on," he told her. She shook her head and started kissing his chest. She was moving closer to the top of his jeans, and he shifted underneath her.

"What are you gonna do?" he whispered.

"You'll just have to wait and see," she smirked. "Are you hard yet?"

"Uh," he started. "I'm getting there Freckles."

"Good," she said. She unzipped his jeans and pushed them down. Sawyer couldn't help but to keep looking at Kate's chest. She hadn't caught him yet, until now. He looked like a drooling school boy.

"Hey cowboy," she started. "My eyes are up here."

She pointed to her face and he redirected his attention to her face, but within a few seconds he was right back to looking at her breasts. She kept kissing him, to keep his mind off of looking at her boobs. She pushed her hand into his boxers, and noticed that he was definitely ready for something. She smirked at him and brought his still handcuffed hands up to her breasts.

"I love you in this corset Kate," he started. "But I love you even more out of it."

"Well you're going to have to help me out of it," she chuckled. "It's really tight. Just like me. I'm waiting for you Sawyer. I can't wait till you're in me."

"I can't either," he whispered.

"Then how bout we don't," she answered. She unhooked his handcuffs and turned around

"I need help out of this Sawyer," she whispered. He reached his hands up and started loosening the strings on the corset. It was loose enough for her to pull it off the rest of the way, but she didn't. She turned back around and held the corset against her body with her hands. Sawyer sat up and started suckling gently on her neck and moving his way down toward her breasts. He gently pulled her hands away from the corset and pulled it away from her body. He flipped over on top of her and she pushed his boxers off of his body. Sawyer pulled her underwear off and pushed down on top of her. She let out a sharp but quiet moan. She wrapped her legs around him and locked her ankles together. They moved together and Kate started breathing heavier. She was so close to climax already, and it surprised Sawyer. He didn't want her to climax yet, so he stopped moving.

"Sawyer," she whispered she looked up at him and kissed his lips.

"What's your rush Freckles?" he said gently. "We've got all night."

"And the rest of our lives," she reminded him. "But I don't care. Make me come Sawyer. Please, make me come."

"Nope," he shook his head and went back to kissing her. She reached her hand between them so she could touch herself, and him too. He took her hand and put it over her head. He started thrusting once again she came. She looked up and smiled at him. He still hadn't come, so she flipped over on top of him. She took his hands in hers and put them against her bare skin. She ran them up her stomach and towards her chest. She didn't allow his hands to touch her boobs, but instead moved them to the back of her neck, and then she laid down on top of him and put her mouth to his ear. She kissed it, and it made a loud sound in his ear.

"We're married," she whispered. "You're my husband. And believe me…we're going to have hot sex every single night. And eventually Jill and Kyle are gonna wanna move out because…well they'll come up with a lame excuse, but it's really gonna be because we're too damn loud. Are you gonna come anytime soon Sawyer, because I could lay like this on top of you…with you buried in my white hot and extremely wet heat. Can you feel how wet I am? Just touch me there and I'll come again."

He put his hand between them and felt how wet she still was. He came and pulled her toward his lips. He sucked on her tongue and pulled at her lips with his. She rolled off of him and pulled herself out of him, but they continued to kiss. Kate took a deep breath and then stopped kissing him.

"I'll be right back," she whispered.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I have to pee," she answered. "I'll be back in just a minute."

"Well to be honest Freckles," he started. "I might need more than a minute to fully recover."

"Alright," she nodded. "But I'm still coming back in a minute."

"Good," he smiled. "Cuz just because I need a minute…that don't mean I can't spend the time touching you. You're still wet Kate…I can see the look in your eyes. So if you're planning on going to relieve yourself…don't bother."

Kate smirked and shook her head. She shut the bathroom door and Sawyer put his head back against the pillows. She wasn't gone for very long and she came back dressed in the tiny nightgown that she had worn the previous night.

"Hey," he said. "I love that on you. You're so fucking sexy. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Actually no," she said coming over to the bed and sitting down next to him.

"Well you are," he whispered. "You're sexy, and beautiful, and cute, and funny. You're everything."

"You aren't so bad yourself," she smirked, she kissed him and began to compliment him. After each compliment she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "You're Hot. Sexy. Gorgeous. Hilarious. Amazing."

"Thanks Kate," he smiled.

"We're not gonna have to go through this again now are we?" she asked.

"Oh," he started. "We're playing that little game are we? So since you get to be Ms. Diamond, can I be someone too?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "This is my game. You can come up with something else."

"Ok," he whispered. "Can I have permission to touch the dancer?"

Kate stayed quiet and she nodded. He pushed her onto the bed and put one hand on each of her thighs. She took a sharp breath and looked up at him. He pulled her underwear off and tossed them to the side.

"So," he began in a deep throaty voice. "What do you want?"

"Huh?" she asked, half moaning, and he wasn't even touching her yet. He ran his hands up and down on her thighs and bent down to kiss her leg. He ran his hands back up her body and looked at her in the eyes. He kissed her lips softly and kept his mouth inches from hers.

"What do you want Kat?" he asked. "Do you want one or two fingers?"

"Two," she managed to say. He kissed her neck and ran his tongue down to her collar bone. He still wasn't touching her, but when she started writhing under him he decided to touch her finally. He didn't tease her because she was already wet enough for two of his fingers to slide into her. He continued to kiss her neck and collar bone. With his other hand he pulled her nightgown away from her body. He kissed her chest and pushed his fingers further into her. She moaned loudly and grabbed at his back. She touched his chest and arms.

"Do you want me to put my mouth on you?" he asked. She orgasmed underneath him and pushed her hips against his hand. Even though she used no words, he figured that her answer was yes. He took his fingers out of her and slid down her body. He kissed her legs and waited to put his mouth on her. When he did Kate started panting. He was definitely an expert at it. She fell apart and moaned loudly. He moved back over her and smiled at her.

"Better?" he questioned. She breathed in deeply and nodded. He kissed her lips and wrapped his arms around her. She sighed contentedly and put her forehead against Sawyer's chest.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked. "Because I'm good at pleasuring you?"

"Yeah," she nodded with a smirk.

"Ha ha. Very very funny," he said, giving her a short kiss. "I love you too Ms. Diamond."

"I think it's safe to call me Mrs. Ford," she replied, looking at him with a smile.

"Ok Mrs. Ford," he answered. "Are you gonna take off this cute little outfit anytime soon?"

"Well," she began. "You know how you had to recover? Now it's my turn."

She snuggled against him and drifted in and out of sleep. Sawyer was dozing too, his arms were around Kate and holding her so close, that she almost felt like she couldn't move. But she didn't mind. As she drifted in and out of sleep she heard Sawyer's snoring starting. Their first night they were together he hadn't snored, but maybe that was because she was asleep before he was…every night after that however he snored loudly. She was hoping that she could get to sleep before the snoring got too loud.

It was around 2:00 in the morning. Kate was able to sleep for 2 hours, but she woke up to Sawyer's snoring in her ear. Her head was still resting on his chest and his head was next to her ear. She could feel that he was hard against her and she chuckled to herself. She decided that it was their wedding night dammit, so she was going to wake him up gently.

"You awake," she whispered. He mumbled in his sleep. She reached her hand between them and put her hand around his growing erection. He mumbled again, and Kate let out a soft chuckle. He still hadn't woken up fully, which surprised her somewhat. She figured any moment he would flip them over and try to take her over. She continued to touch him and then touched herself. She rolled over on top of him and pushed herself on to him. He finally woke up and groaned loudly.

"Freckles," he said out loud.

"Hi," she whispered and started moving on top of him. He moved with her and wrapped his arms around her. "Couldn't help myself James. You just looked so hot."

"What?" he asked. "Snoring into your ear?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I can't believe that we're married."

"And I can't believe you're talking to me while you're on top of me," he chuckled.

"Are you glad that I woke you up?" she asked, whispering into his ear and making her movements quicker.

"Hell yeah," he said, groaning again. She bent down and kissed his lips slowly. He pushed his hips up toward hers and she let out a gasp and then chuckled. She rolled them over on their sides, keeping him in her. He kissed her and they both came.

"You're amazing, Sawyer," she stated, pulling him into another kiss.

"You're not so bad yourself baby," he said brushing his hand over her forehead. "I love you Freckles."

"I love you too James," she whispered.

The next morning when Sawyer woke up Kate was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at something in her hands. She was whispering under her breath. He couldn't hear what she was saying.

"What's wrong Freckles?" he asked, sitting up and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I missed 3 birth control pills in a row," she said quietly.

**A/N: please please please review! I don't know how else to ask. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for reviews. Katie-you know that I love your reviews! You're awesome. I'm pretty sure when Lost gets back we're gonna have at least one good Skate scene because we've been deprived too long! haha. But you never know. And I'm positive we'll get good Sawyer stuff because if he's in the episode it will be good. :)  
Lucy-Thank you for taking the few seconds to review! I'm glad you like my story.**

_"I missed 3 birth control pills in a row," she said quietly._

Her words hit Sawyer, but he almost felt like he was hearing incorrectly. He looked at her seriously and she looked back at him just as seriously. He lifted his head off her shoulder and sat up.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I missed 3 days," she repeated.

"That's not funny," he said sitting up further and starting to get out of the bed.

"Do I look like I'm laughing Sawyer?" she asked. "Does this look like a smile to you? I'm not smiling. I'm not laughing. And no…I'm not joking. And lately…these past couple days we've kind of been a little primal. Not exactly careful."

"Well I didn't think we had to be careful Kate," he scoffed. "I thought we could do whatever the hell we wanted however many times in a row we wanted to. I thought you were taking care of the whole not getting pregnant thing."

"Well I was," she answered, her voice quivering. "I don't know…every day here I've just been kind of swept up in the moment. I haven't really thought about it."

"No," he shook his head. "It was your idea to begin with. You said that you didn't want it to be my responsibility. You wanted all of it. So you can't tell me that you haven't been thinking about it this weekend because it's your _job_ to think about it Kate!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked. "Did you really just say that to me?"

"Ye-no," he sighed. "That isn't what I meant Kate. I just mean…it's not me who should be reminding you to take your birth control. That's your thing."

"I know," she whispered. "I just don't know what happened. I screwed up."

"You can't be pregnant Kate," he shook his head.

"Well, since you're talking like that," she sighed. "I hope I'm not."

She got up out of the bed and started walking away. Sawyer jumped out of the bed after her and grabbed her by the arm. He pulled her toward him and looked at her seriously.

"Why do you say it like that?" he asked. "You can't tell me that you actually want to be pregnant. You don't want a baby."

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I mean…I never expected to be in love and married…I dunno. Maybe a baby wouldn't be so bad."

"We barely know each other Kate!" he exclaimed.

"No!" she yelled. "You are not allowed to tell me that! We spilled our deepest secrets to each other. We got married! We have sex every single night…and if we know each other enough to have sex and get married, then we better the hell know each other enough to have a baby. Because if you screw me over just because I'm pregnant…I will never forgive you."

"Ok," he whispered. "Nothing is final though right?"

"No," she shook her head. "But what if it is James. What if I'm pregnant?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I guess we'll deal with it then. We'll figure it out. I won't make you do it all alone."

"Thank you," she said putting her head against his shoulder.

"So how soon till you can find out?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I guess two weeks or something…I'm supposed to start my period in two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" he exclaimed. "We have to wait two weeks?"

"Well," she sighed. "I don't think there's any other way to do it. The last time I took a pill was the day before we left."

"The day before?" he asked. "Why the hell didn't you take it the day we came?"

"Because your supposed to take it at pretty much the same time every day," she answered. "And I usually take it at night after I brush my teeth."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little scared here Freckles. I mean damn, I don't know if I can be a father."

"How do you think I'm feeling Sawyer?" she sighed. "It's gonna be me that will have to carry this baby for 9 months. Plus…if I got pregnant this weekend, I wasn't exactly sober."

"I don't think that alcohol will affect it as much this early," he whispered. "I mean…my mom got smashed the first month she was pregnant with me…but only because she didn't know she was pregnant."

"Oh," Kate said. "That explains a lot."

He glared at her but leaned toward her and kissed her on the lips.

"So what do we do Freckles?" he asked.

"Well if I am pregnant," she began. "I'm not giving it away, and I don't believe in abortions…so I'm having the baby. And as of right now…I don't want to do anything to hurt the baby…so I'm not taking my pills till I find out for sure."

"Kate," he sighed. "Why don't you just take all 3 right now? Can't you do that?"

"I dunno," she answered with a shrug. "I just think that whatever happens will happen."

"Ok," he replied. "So we're supposed to just not have sex for 2 weeks while we wait?"

"Hell no," she scoffed. "We go buy a box of condoms…and no shit about how you're too big or they're uncomfortable."

"Hey," he raised his eyebrows. "I have no problem with wearing a condom. I will do whatever I can to prevent you from getting pregnant. I just think that maybe we should have at least a year to ourselves before we think about having any kids. I mean if you're pregnant now, we'll figure it out, but…I just think we should wait."

"Believe me," she nodded. "I want to wait too…but eventually I do wanna be a momma."

"We can have one kid," he replied.

"One?" she asked. "I want at least 3. I mean we can't just have one…I was an only child and I always wanted a brother or sister."

"Well I was an only child too," he answered. "And I liked it that way."

Kate still looked scared. Sawyer put his hands on her face and leaned toward her. He kissed her on the lips and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly.

They drove home that day and were much less flirtatious. They were both thinking too much about the fact that Kate might be pregnant. Jill and Kyle tried to get them both to answer as to why they were acting so weird but neither of them said anything. At one point Kate fell asleep against Sawyer's shoulder. Jill and Kyle both questioned Sawyer while Kate slept. Sawyer started getting aggravated when they continued to ask him questions.

"Just leave me alone!" he exclaimed. "We're just tired. We spent the entire night f-"

"Ok," Jill interrupted. "Fine. But you would tell us if something was wrong right?"

"No," he answered.

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate was laying in bed with Sawyer. She and Sawyer continued to have sex, but it wasn't the same. It was like they were both being too careful, even though they used protection. Kate was so scared of being pregnant…not just because of becoming a mother, but because of what Sawyer's reaction might be. Sawyer was reading. He was in only his boxers. His mouth was moving ever so slightly as he read. Watching his lips move and his bare chest rise up and down as he breathed, suddenly made Kate want him so badly she could almost taste it. She grabbed the book from him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed.

"Shh," she shook her head, and lifted her self over him. "How was your day Mr. Ford?"

"Didn't we already talk about that at dinner?" he asked. He was intrigued by her seducing him, but he wasn't really sure what was happening. He put a hand on each of Kate's hips and she moved against him. Feeling his hands on her, even if it was only her hips, made her breath quicken. She kissed his lips and she took his hand in hers and ran it down her body. She pushed his hand into her pants and he looked at her, slightly confused, but extremely turned on by her actions. She stayed quiet and started kissing his chest and moving against his hand. He was almost afraid to move, so he let her do whatever she wanted. She moved against his hand again and she started moaning softly.

"I need you," she whispered. She leaned over him, her cleavage inches from Sawyer's face. He let out a breath and Kate leaned back and handed him a condom.

"We find out tomorrow," she replied. "One last night…and you're going to fuck me so hard that we may need more than one of these things."

"Shit Kate," Sawyer said. She felt him growing underneath her and smirked widely. She backed off of him for her to put the condom on him. She shoved her pants along with her underwear down and pulled his boxers down too. Instead of her sliding onto him, he flipped them over and pushed into her all the way in one try. She threw her head back in ecstasy. Her tiny tank top was still on. Sawyer could see her nipples peaking through the material. He bent down and put his mouth over one of them.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Harder."

He didn't know if she meant for him to suck harder or thrust harder, so he did both. She shuddered underneath him and pulled his face up to hers. She kissed his lips and continued to move underneath him. She pushed against him just as hard as he pushed on her.

"Wait," she whispered. "Stop."

He stopped and looked at her. He was almost afraid that he was hurting her. She rolled them over and pulled herself off of him. He looked at her even more confused and she looked at him somewhat seductively which confused him even more.

"I want to taste you," she whispered. She gently rolled the condom off of him and then bent down and started running her tongue down the shaft. He groaned and she opened her mouth wide enough to accommodate him. He was already on the edge, but was taken over by the sight of watching Kate take him in her mouth fully. He came into her mouth and she continued to hold her mouth there. She sat up and still had some of his fluid in her mouth.

"Kiss me," he said, just as turned on by it. She leaned over his mouth and kissed him deeply and passionately.

"Did you ever get to come sweetheart?" he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Would you like to come again?" he asked reaching his hand between her legs. She nodded again and he kissed her lips and touched her, but gently. Almost too gently. She pushed against him and wanted him to push back, but he didn't. He continued to touch her softly and then she came loudly. Jill and Kyle weren't there and they could be as loud as they wanted.

The next day Kate got up and went for a job search. She gave the name Katrina Ford and now that she and Sawyer were married, she was hoping that she wouldn't get caught. Sawyer was in his and Kate's room. He was making more room in the closet for Kate's clothes. He was glad that she wasn't like most girls with a ton of clothes and shoes. He heard the apartment door shut and heard the sound of someone running down the hall.

"Sawyer!" her voice sounded almost panicked. _Oh shit…she's pregnant._ He thought. He opened the bedroom door only to have Kate jump into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and as he stumbled backwards into the room she slammed the bedroom door. He looked at her hoping that this reaction meant she wasn't pregnant. She kissed his lips and then dropped back down to the floor.

"Hmm," he began. "Now I don't want to say the wrong thing Freckles, but I'm just guessing that you're not pregnant?"

"Nope," she smiled. "I'm not. I should have realized last night…I mean I'm always so horny the day before I start."

"Are you horny right now?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Yes," she nodded. "I am very horny…but don't worry…I won't make you touch me."

"Well," he began. "I can touch you other places Kate…"

"Ok," she whispered. "Like where?"

"Where?" he asked.

He pulled her toward the bed and shoved her down. She smiled at him and awaited his touch. He didn't touch her yet, because his favorite thing to do was to watch her anticipation. She always looked so cute as she breathed heavier and waited for his fingers to touch her.

"I can touch you here," he said kissing her neck. "And here (_he touched her lips with his finger and then kissed them) _And here. _(he touched her face). _And here." _(he touched her breast.)_

Then he ran his hand down her body, which was still fully clothed. He lifted her shirt up enough for her stomach to be revealed and started gently touching it and then he moved his hand up her shirt. She was still wearing her bra, but his touch was still amazing. He moved his hand slowly over them and she licked her lips anticipating his touch again.

"You're not pregnant?" he whispered. "You ain't just telling me that?"

She opened her eyes and shook her head. She rolled over on top of him and shook her head again.

"I wouldn't do that to you Sawyer," she said.

"Ok," he nodded. "Now. Where were we?"

He rolled them back over and blew air on her neck and down her body. She let out a breath and put her hands on the back of his neck until he was too far away to reach. He made his way back up her body and looked at her before kissing her.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I'm really glad that I'm not pregnant."

"Why?" he said with a laugh. "Because of what I said before?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm just not ready for morning sickness and not being in the mood."

"Kate," he started. "Something tells me that even when you are pregnant, you're still gonna be my cute little nyph."

She smirked at him and nodded.

"Yeah," she stated. "You're probably right."

**A/N: So how was it? Was it believeable? What was everyone's favorite parts. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok so this is a nice long chapter for ya. I hope you all enjoy it!**

Kate and Sawyer both had mediocre jobs and would spend their days working, but then they would come home and never do anything. The only people they ever saw were Kyle and Jill, and even then it usually wasn't that much. Kate was getting restless. She liked to always be doing something…going somewhere. She and Sawyer were sitting on the couch watching TV, but not really paying attention to what was going on in the show. Kate kept letting out sighs that were distracting to Sawyer.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you miss more birth control again?"

"No," she half scoffed. "I won't ever do that again Sawyer."

"Alright," he sighed. "Sorry I brought it up."

"Yeah," she scoffed again.

"Then are you gonna tell me the real problem, instead of just sitting there all pissed off."

"I'm not pissed off," she argued. "Do you really want to know what's wrong? Or are you just saying that to make me happy?"

"Why are you tryin' to start a fight?" he said finally looking at her. "We were having a pleasant evening, and-"

"Pleasant?" she asked. "We're doing the same damn thing we do every damn night. I'm just so sick of this Sawyer. All we do is sit at home staring at the TV."

"Well that's not fair Freckles," he whispered. "Seems to me that we spend some of our time in the bedroom…not even paying attention to the TV."

"Fine," she shook her head. "We eat, watch TV, and have sex. It's a boring life."

"You're bored with sex?" he asked. "Ok…fine we can stop."

"You know that's not what I was talking about Sawyer," she replied. "I'm just saying…we don't even have any friends. I mean Jill and Kyle, but they're barely here anymore, and when they are it's like we're too busy to hang out with them. I want to have friends. I mean we're not some old couple. We should go places. Do things."

"Alright," he said standing up. "What do you want to do?"

"Really?" she asked.

"Hey," he began. "If you want to do something or go somewhere, just say the word."

"Let's go out," she smirked. "I just have to get changed."

They went into the bedroom and they both changed. Sawyer wore jeans and a buttoned down shirt. Kate decided that she would borrow one of Jill's shorter black skirts. Sawyer was pleasantly surprised. He had never seen her wear a dress before so seeing her in a sexy little skirt definitely turned him on. She put a tank top on that Sawyer thought showed way too much cleavage, but that only made her want to show more.

They walked down the street to a local dance club/bar. When they got in the music was loud, but neither of them minded much. Kate got a couple looks from some of the men, which made her feel good, but it only pissed off Sawyer further. Every time he noticed a man looking in Kate's direction he would put an arm around her protectively. Kate thought it was cute so she let him. She and Sawyer walked up to the bar and Sawyer ordered them both shots of whiskey. They drank shots and danced with each other, but mostly just drank. Kate seemed to be having a good time. Once they began to drink they couldn't seem to keep their hands to themselves. Kate kept running her hands up and down Sawyer's back and his front. He kept reaching his hand up the back of her skirt, and was pleasantly surprised the first time when he discovered she wasn't wearing underwear.

"Freckles," he whispered into her ear.

"What?' she asked.

"You're not wearing underwear," he replied.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm well aware of that cowboy. It's much easier access if I'm already naked under my skirt."

"What do you say we go into one of the bathrooms and mess around?" he asked quietly.

"Men's or Women's?" she asked.

"Definitely women's," he whispered.

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll go first."

She walked toward the bathroom, somewhat in a stumble. She looked behind her and made sure that Sawyer was still watching her. She quickly lifted up the back of her skirt and flashed him. She knew that other people probably saw, but she didn't really care. She went into the bathroom and checked the stalls. It probably wouldn't have made a difference, but there was only 2 toilets anyway. The bathroom was fairly clean considering it was a bar bathroom. When Sawyer came into the bathroom he hadn't even made it all the way in the door before he collided with Kate and they started kissing. He pushed himself against the door to keep it shut. She kissed him and pushed against him. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up on to the sink. Her skirt came up and she gasped when her bare ass was on the cold tile sink.

"Cold?" he asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled. He went back to kissing her. She wrapped her legs around him, but didn't pull his pants down quite yet. She just wanted a few more minutes of foreplay. The door swung open and Kate quickly slid off the sink and pulled her skirt down. Kate and Sawyer left the bathroom together, holding hands and almost falling over in laughter.

They went back over to the bar and when they got there, there was a man sitting where Kate had been previously. Sawyer stepped toward her somewhat seductively. She smiled but rolled her eyes at the same time. He stepped toward her again and put his arms around her. He moved his hands slowly down toward her ass. He pinched it a little too hard.

"Ow!" she exclaimed and shoved him gently. He reached his hand up the front of her skirt to touch her just once and see what her reaction would be.

"Sawyer!" she yelled again, but this time only because the music was too loud and she wanted him to hear her. She really didn't mind that much.

"Hey!" the man sitting in Kate's seat said from behind Sawyer. "Leave the lady alone!"

"Why don't you mind your own business Hoss?" Sawyer replied turning toward the other man.

"Is he bothering you miss?" the man asked.

"No," Kate smiled. "He was just playing."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and paid the bartender for 2 more shots. He handed Kate her drink and then pulled her into a kiss. She kissed him back but then pushed him off of her.

"Sawyer," she sighed.

"If you don't leave her alone I'll call the bouncer," the man told Sawyer.

"She's my wife jackass," Sawyer answered. "I ain't doing anything wrong. And later tonight we're gonna be doing a hell of a lot more than just me grabbing her ass and kissing her."

"Sawyer shut up," Kate said.

"I have to pee," Sawyer mumbled. He did have to go to the bathroom, but he was also pissed that Kate wasn't taking his side. He pushed past her somewhat hard and she watched him go. She didn't want to cause a fight but he was being a jerk. She looked toward the man who was only trying to rescue her and be nice.

"Sorry," she shook her head. "He comes on a little strong sometimes."

"Is he really your husband or was he just saying that?"

"Yeah," Kate smiled and held out her hand with the ring on it.

"I'm married too," he said holding his hand up and showing Kate his wedding band. "We're not really doing too well. She just had a miscarriage…it was a couple days ago. It's been tough."

"I'm sorry," Kate replied, sincerely feeling sorry for this man. "Should you really be here then? I mean shouldn't you go home and be with her?"

"No," he whispered. "She doesn't want me anywhere near her right now. She won't let me help her…I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Sorry," she shook her head.

"No," he stated. "I just want to enjoy my beer sitting here with a pretty lady…even if she is married. What's your name?"

"Kate," she smiled. "My name's Kate."

"That's a pretty name," he said. "I've always loved that name. I have a cousin named Katie. She…you don't care."

"No," she chuckled. "It's ok…keep going. But first…what's your name?"

"Jack," he answered.

"So what do you do Jack?" she asked.

"I'm a surgeon," he mumbled.

"Wow," Kate nodded. "That's great. I guess I know to come to you if I ever have any issues."

"Yeah," he answered. "Sounds good to me."

This man was flirting with her. She could tell by his body language and by the words he was using that he was definitely flirting with her. He even had turned toward her and was leaning toward her. She almost didn't mind, but her mind kept wandering back to Sawyer.

"I don't know what to do," he started.

"I'm sorry," Kate repeated.

"I just-it's just been really hard," he continued. "I know you don't care, and you probably can't wait till your husband gets back from the bathroom, but-"

"No," she shook her head. "Jack…it's ok. I mean sometimes it's good to just talk about it. With someone…especially if you and your wife are having problems."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I mean to be honest…we're just not doing very well. She's always crying. I try to comfort her but it's like she doesn't want to be. It's like she just wants to be alone all the time. Well it was my baby too. I lost the baby too. It's not all on her."

"But maybe she feels like it is," Kate shrugged. "Maybe she feels like it's her fault-I'm sorry. I shouldn't be-I'm not a psychologist."

"No," he shook his head. "You were right…it's good to talk about it. It's nice to be able to vent to someone who's not gonna tell me that I don't know what it's like."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Well maybe you can just-"

She looked over her shoulder for Sawyer because she knew he should be back by then. She saw him flirting with a girl who's skirt was way too short and she was showing way more cleavage than Kate. Kate looked back at Jack and looked as if she might cry.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I have to go."

"Kate," Jack called. "Wait."

She pushed passed him quickly and ran outside. She started running down the sidewalk, but in high heels it wasn't very easy for her. She tripped and fell on her face. She didn't want to cry, but she was. She was crying from seeing Sawyer with that other girl, and she was crying because she scraped her knees and elbows. It felt like she had been crying for hours, when it had really only been about 30 seconds. She felt someone come up behind her. She smacked the person's hand away, but he picked her up. She knew it was Sawyer's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her skirt down to keep her from flashing the world.

"Hey," he whispered. "I wasn't flirting with her."

**Flashback-5 minutes ago**

Sawyer came out of the bathroom and saw Kate still talking to that guy. He knew that he shouldn't be jealous, it was after all only talking. Plus as the man talked he used his hands and he was also wearing a wedding band.

"You got a light?" a woman asked next to his ear. He normally carried his lighter with him. He still smoked occasionally, but Kate didn't like it when he smoked in the apartment. But tonight he didn't have his lighter with him. He shook his head.

"No," he answered. "Sorry."

"It's ok," she smiled. "You're cute."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Name's Cassidy," she said holding out her hand.

"Sawyer," he replied, starting to walk toward Kate. She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him toward her.

"You got plans tonight?" she whispered, standing closer to him.

"Yeah," he answered. "I'm gonna go home with my wife."

He pointed across the bar to where Kate used to be sitting with the man, but instead just saw the man walking toward him.

"You might want to go after your wife man, instead of flirting with this woman," Jack stated. "Kate's crying. What are you doin'?"

"I'm not doing nothing," Sawyer answered. "And I don't have to explain anything to you…you ain't my wife."

He ran after Kate and saw her laying on the ground sobbing.

**Flashback Over**

**  
**Sawyer was walking, and he continued to carry Kate. She had her face buried in his neck. She had stopped crying and realized that Sawyer wasn't flirting with the woman…just like she wasn't flirting with Jack. She remembered his name. Jack. She felt Sawyer's hand trying to hold the bottom of her skirt over her ass.

"I wanna go home," she whispered.

"That's where I'm headed darlin'," he answered. She continued to cling to his neck, until they got to the front doors of the apartment.

"I gotta open the door," he told her. He set her down and looked at her. She was frowning. She wasn't crying anymore but her face was still damp from tears. He put his hands on her cheeks and wiped away the tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me too," he replied. He opened the door and then they walked up the steps to their apartment. They went inside and Kate looked down at her knees. One was bleeding, and the other one had a small scrape, that wasn't bleeding yet.

"Lemme fix that up for you," he whispered. "Go on into the bedroom, and I'll be right there with the first aid kit."

She went into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sawyer came in carrying the first aid kit. Kate opened her legs and flashed Sawyer quickly. He shook his head and let out a breath.

"What are you doin' to me Freckles," he whispered.

"Nothing," she shook her head. He took out a band aid and carefully covered her knee. She winced slightly when the bandage touched the painful scrape.

"Need one on that knee?" he asked, touching her other knee. She shook her head and opened her legs again. She stood up and lead Sawyer into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He took another deep breath, and knew what she was going to do, but couldn't be entirely sure. She put one leg on either side of him and began to kiss his lips wildly.

"You're drunk," he mumbled through her lips.

"I know," she replied grinding into him. She continued to kiss his lips and move her body against his.

"I love you," he told her. "I love you so much. I wasn't flirting with that girl."

"Well," she whispered. "I have a confession for you Sawyer. That guy who I was talking to…Jack. He was flirting with me…and I was flirting back."

"Really?" he asked. Under any other normal circumstance, Sawyer would have been angry and annoyed by this confession, but she was grinding into him and her skirt had ridden up so her bare ass was sitting on his legs. He wished at that moment that he wasn't wearing pants.

"You know how I told you that I'd make all your dreams come true?" she whispered.

"Yes," he nodded and licked his lips. "Believe me Freckles, you make my dreams come true every night."

"What if I told you I wanted to have a menage a trois?" she asked. "With you and the guy from the bar?"

"I'd think you were absolutely insane," he answered quietly.

"What about that girl?" she asked. "She was kind of hot. Would you want to have a three way with me and her?"

"Freckles," he began, and flipped her over. "You are the only one that I will ever need. The three way thing…never been really in to that."

"Never?" she asked.

"Ok," he chuckled. "Well that's a lie. But now…what we have…me and you…I will never need another woman in my bed. As long as I have you…and as long as you keep wearing this sexy little skirt."

"Well, maybe I'll have to go shopping for some more sexy clothes," she whispered into his ear. She nipped softly at it and then moved to his lips. "This skirt happens to be Jill's. I'm gonna have to wash it for her."

"She's gonna be pissed that you wore it without undies," he said.

"I don't care," she replied. "Maybe then she'll give it to be and I can wear it more often."

"Were you serious about that menage a trois thing?" he asked, suddenly becoming somewhat distracted by the notion. She stayed silent and kissed his lips again. She started unbuttoning his pants and then moved her arms around his neck.

"I want to know something," she whispered. "Am I good?"

"Are you good?" he asked. "Good at what?"

"Good at-well everything," she answered with a shrug.

"Do you mean are you good in bed?" he questioned, somewhat shocked. He told her all the time how amazing she was, he just didn't know why she was so insecure. Maybe because of the woman tonight who had bigger boobs than her. It wasn't that Sawyer was looking, but how could he miss them.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I told you," he started. "You're the only one that I need now. I think that qualifies as being pretty damn good Kate."

"Tell me," she whispered. "And be dirty Sawyer. Whisper dirty things into my ear."

He groaned and flipped over so he was on top. He bent down so his mouth was next to her ear. She started moving the skirt upwards so she would be mostly naked on the bottom, but he moved it back down.

"Hold on a minute," he whispered. "That's gonna be my job in just a minute. I promise I will…but first let me tell you what you know is true…and you know that it is Kate. You just want to hear it. Am I right?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I love fucking you," he whispered. "I love feeling you wet on my hands. I love the way you sound when you moan and then come. I love touching your tight ass. I love pushing into you until your want and need makes room for me. And every time I see you I want to fuck your brains out."

"Me too," she said quietly. Her eyes were now closed and she was concentrating on his voice. She flipped herself over and pushed her fingers into herself.

"You love doing that to yourself don't you?" he asked. "I've woken up before and I can tell you're touching yourself Freckles. Are you pretending that your fingers are mine?"

"Uh huh," she murmured.

"But yours are much smaller," he replied. "Do you have a vibrator?"

"Y-n-yes," she replied.

"But you like me better," he whispered pushing against her and letting her feel that he was hard. She moaned underneath him and then flipped over on her side.

"Fuck me from behind," she stated. It was more of a demand than a request, but that didn't bother Sawyer in the least. He got behind her and pushed his pants down to his ankles.

"You're so fucking tight and wet," he whispered as he pushed himself into her. He ran his hands down her body and touched her where he was entering her. She let out a breath of pleasure and moved against him. He bit gently at her neck and she let out another sharp breath.

"Give me your hand," she managed to say all in one breath. He put his hand against hers and she brought it up to her mouth. She put one of his fingers in her mouth and pulled it back out. He didn't wait for her to do anything else before he brought his hand against her hard nub. She moaned a yes and then moaned again.

"Do you like that?" he whispered and moved faster. She moaned again and again and was breathing heavily. She sounded like she wasn't catching her breath and she wasn't saying anything. "Are you gonna come?" he asked.

"Fuck," she whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible. He chuckled and pulled her waist toward him. He came first and then she did right after. He pulled out of her and then flipped her over so he could see the look of elation on her face.

"Sawyer," she began.

"Yeah," he said touching her face and pulling her into a kiss.

"I'm addicted," she said.

"To what?" he asked with a smile.

"To you," she replied. "I'm addicted to you and your sex. I'm addicted to the way you taste and smell after we fuck…that's why I sometimes touch myself in the middle of the night. I wake up and you're sleeping so I don't want to wake you."

"By all means Kate," he chuckled. "Wake me."

"If you get to jack off in the shower and think of me, then I get to relieve myself too," she argued.

"Yeah," he began. "But you know my fingers are better."

"So what," she shrugged. "Sometimes I like just watching you sleep. And I touch myself, and it's almost dangerous because I could get caught…and apparently I have gotten caught."

That night they slept in each other's arms. Kate dreamed of Sawyer doing the most erotic things to her. Some of the things in her dream they had actually tried, but some of them only gave her some ideas of what they could do. Her plan was to go shopping after she got out of work. She was going to get a costume that she thought Sawyer might like. When she woke up Sawyer no longer had his arms around her. She could feel him moving and looked at his back. He was moving very distinctively. Kate knew what he was doing. They were going to have to wash the sheets today. Kate didn't want to touch him, but she did want to whisper things into his ear.

"Are you having fun?" she whispered. He nodded and moved his hand faster. "I know how fun that is Sawyer. You're so hard Sawyer. I can feel the heaviness in my hand." He came all over his hand and then turned toward Kate.

"Thanks," he smirked.

That next day Kate and Sawyer each went to their respective jobs. Kate was driving there and she was waiting at the stop light 3 blocks from her building. She looked in her rearview mirror and there was a car coming fast toward the back of her car. There was no where for her to go except in to oncoming traffic and she wasn't going to do that so she waited and hoped for the best. The car hit her hard and there were the sounds of squealing cars. Kate saw the whole thing happen. The car skidded into the middle of the road. Every car ended up missing her. She was still conscious. Her neck hurt, but she didn't want to move. She was afraid to move. She heard someone at her window.

"Miss," the voice said. "It's ok…I'm a doctor."

She recognized the voice, but still didn't want to move.

"Can you move?" the 'doctor' said.

"I don't know," she sobbed.

"Well try," he replied. "Turn your head toward me."

She carefully moved her head in the direction of the voice. She could still move. She wasn't paralyzed. It was Jack who was at her window.

"Well," he smiled. "Thank god I was late for work Kate."

She let out a soft chuckle and he smiled at her. He opened her door and started examining her. She started standing up and he pushed her gently back down.

"You need to let me examine you Kate," he said softly. She didn't answer, but sat back down.

**2 Hours Later**

Kate was sitting in the hospital waiting some of the test results. Jack had to get back to his work, but he kept coming back to check on her which she felt was a very nice gesture. Between getting into the car accident, and being carted of for a billion tests Kate didn't get a chance to call Sawyer, but now sitting up in the hospital bed she hit the call button for the nurse. She came almost immediately which surprised Kate.

"What can I do for you Mrs. Ford?" she asked.

"Um," Kate began. "Can you call my husband?"

"Of course," the nurse replied. "Is it in the contact information that you filled out?"

Kate nodded and the nurse quickly grabbed her chart and left. Part of Kate actually enjoyed being in the hospital. It was interesting to watch the people that were coming in and out. She had a guy in the bed next to her that had a nasty looking bump on his head. She tried to smile at him, but he wasn't really in the mood to be cheered up. She wanted Sawyer to come stay with her so that she wasn't bored, but she didn't even know if he'd be able to leave the office. She was hoping that the nurse wouldn't tell him that it wasn't a serious injury. Her neck was still really sore, and she wanted Sawyer to come and give her a massage.

"Kate," Jack said coming over to her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," she nodded. "My neck is still really sore."

"Well here," he smiled. He started rubbing her neck and shoulders. She closed her eyes and couldn't help but be grateful.

"Freckles!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Hey! Get your hands off my wife!"

Kate opened her eyes and saw a very angry looking Sawyer standing next to her bed. Jack took his hands from Kate's neck and looked up. He stood up and shook his head.

"Her neck was bothering her," he replied. "I was just trying to help."

"Do you work here?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "I don't believe we've actually been introduced yet. I'm Jack Shephard."

"Sawyer," Sawyer answered putting his hand out. "So if you work here what are you doing touching the patients. It's not very professional."

"You're right," he replied and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I should get back. Kate your test results should be back soon. I'll have Jessica bring them."

"Ok," she smiled. Jack left and Kate looked at Sawyer, who was still staring daggers at her. She could tell he was pissed, but she was hoping that the fact that she was hurt would make him less angry.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He was right. My neck was bothering me…he was just trying to-"

"Cop a feel," he interrupted. "I don't like people touching you. He had his hands all over you."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "He was just trying to be nice."

"Ok," he began. "But lemme ask you something. And I'm really not trying to cause a fight…it's just a question."

"Well then ask it," she said, non-threateningly.

"If I was sitting in a hospital bed, wearing nothing except for a thin hospital gown, with a woman who was flirting like crazy with me just the night before, and she was massaging my neck…how would you feel?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I guess you're right. If Miss Cleavage 2008 was massaging you I'd be pretty pissed. Even if she was just trying to be nice."

"Thank you," he replied. "Now…still need that massage?"

Without waiting for an answer Sawyer sat down on the bed behind Kate and began to rub her neck and shoulders. She turned toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Kinda hard to give you a massage like this Freckles," he said quietly.

"I love you," she whispered.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"I just don't tell you enough," she replied. "What if I had died in that car accident?"

"Shhh," he almost scolded. "Don't talk like that. You're ok. And you're up and alert so that's a good thing isn't it?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "It was just so scary. I thought that I was gonna be dead."

"Mrs. Ford," a pretty nurse came over to Kate's bedside. Kate smiled widely at Sawyer and nodded.

"Has a great ring to it doesn't it?" she asked.

"Newlyweds?" the nurse asked.

"Can you just let us know what's going on?" Sawyer asked, anxiously.

"Your wife is ok," she responded. "She does have whiplash, but there's really nothing we can do about that except for prescribe some medication. We're gonna recommend Tylenol 3. It's like extra extra strength."

"Do we look like idiots?" Sawyer asked. "We know what Tylenol 3 is."

"I didn't," Kate said quietly.

"Ok," Sawyer sighed. "So can we go?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Dr. Shephard gives you his best wishes…he hopes that you recover quickly."

As Sawyer drove Kate back home he didn't look happy. He was staring at the road. Kate looked at him and sighed.

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"No," he answered quickly.

"Then why do you look like you're about to tear the steering wheel off the dashboard?"

"He's married isn't he?" Sawyer asked. "I mean he wears a wedding ring. So what the hell does he think he's doing?"

"Who, Jack?" she questioned. "Nothing. Sawyer he's just being nice. He wants me to get better fast. It's a doctor's job to make sure the patients are ok. I mean-he's just being a good guy."

"I wonder if his wife knows that he flirts with all the patients," he scoffed. "If I were his wife I'd be pissed."

"He and his wife are having problems right now," Kate whispered.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "That explains it! He's gonna try to make it so that we have problems too and then you two can go to each other for comfort and you can cheat without having to feel guilty."

"Would you listen to yourself?" she asked. "Sawyer, he doesn't want us to have problems. He barely knows me."

"I barely knew you when I fell in love with you," he mumbled. "Kate…I'm never gonna be a doctor…I'm never gonna be able to buy you a dream house or a 3 karat or even a 1 karat diamond ring. I'm never going to be able to provide you everything that you want and need."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "There's only one thing that I want and need in my life. And that's you. You and Jack can't even compare because I'm not in love with him. I'm not even really attracted to him."

"Come on Kate!" he half yelled. "Even I'm not that blind. He's a doctor…and he's charming."

"Charming?" she laughed. "Sawyer have you ever heard yourself speak? You can charm the pants off of just about anything. Sweetheart, I'm not gonna leave you for the doctor. You just have to trust me. If you can't then maybe we will have a problem."

"Ok," he sighed. "Maybe you're right…but I can't help but worry. I mean look at you. You're gorgeous. I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting you. Because I always want you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she said.

They were back at the apartment. Sawyer and Kate went inside and Sawyer went right to the freezer. He took out an ice pack and handed it to Kate.

"Neck still sore?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Do you want me to give you a massage?" he asked. She nodded slowly. They walked back to the bedroom. Kate laid down on the bed, on her stomach. She sighed to herself and felt Sawyer sit down on her legs.

"Don't you have to go back to work?" she whispered. He began to massage her neck gently. It felt really good. His hands were rougher than Jack's, but she always liked that his hands were calloused and rough.

"Nope," he replied. "That's another reason why you might want to go find the doc to help take care of you."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I quit," he mumbled.

"You what?" she exclaimed and almost turned over but Sawyer held her down and continued to massage her neck. "Why?"

"Because," he began. "I wanted to come see you in the hospital…make sure you were ok. When I told my boss he said that if I left I was fired, so I left. So technically I got fired, so I'll get 3 weeks severance pay. I'm sorry Kate. I'm a loser."

"Sawyer," she sighed and was able to flip over. "You are not a loser. You are an amazing husband. Thank you for loving me that much."

**A/N: Hehe…I hope this isn't too far fetched. Hah. The part with Cassidy…in this story Cassidy never happened. (yet)…but you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Anyway I would adore some more reviews! Katie you rock as always. Please please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night Kate's neck felt much better, but Sawyer thought it was a bad idea to do anything. He was slowly running his hand up and down her back. She snuggled against him and kept leaning up to kiss him. She was trying to seduce him into making love to her, but he continued to refuse. He only kept reminding her that it was only 12 hours since her car accident. She didn't really care. She kept telling him that if they had sex it would make her feel better, but he only kept refusing. Having him only want to protect her only made her want him more.

"Come on," she whispered. She kissed him again and rolled over on top of her.

"Kate," he sighed. "I don't want anything to happen. What about your neck? We can wait...we can wait till tomorrow or even the next day. We can just talk."

He put his hand against her face and gave her a soft kiss. Then he gently pushed her off of him, so they were laying on their sides again.

"Ok," she began with a smirk. "I have a wacky idea. How old were you when you had sex for the first time?"

"Are you serious?" he asked. "You really want to talk about that?"

"It's just a question," she replied.

"Do you promise not to get mad?" he questioned.

**Flashback**

James Ford was never a popular kid. He lived in the trailer park with his grandma and got made fun of all the time. Everyone knew what his dad did, but they talked about what his mom did more. She was known as the town slut. People told James all the time that his dad probably wasn't even his dad. He got into more fights than anyone. He usually won, but he always had a scrape or a black eye or fat lip.

As he got older the rumors only got worse. When he was a kid hearing that his mom was a slut didn't have as much of affect on him because he really didn't know what it meant. All he knew was that a man named Sawyer was the reason that his dad had gone on his rampage. If it weren't for Sawyer, James would have his mom and dad. They might not have been a happy family, but at least they would have been a family. The weekend that James's dad killed himself and his wife, he had promised that he was going to take James to go fishing…it would have been his first fishing trip. After that James never wanted to learn.

At the end of junior high, which was 9th grade, he was sick of everything. Done with it all. He wanted to drop out. His grandma didn't want him to, but she understood why. People called him 'Jimmy the bastard child'. It pissed him off…but there was one girl…she always seemed like she cared about his feelings. When she heard kids making fun of him or talking about his parents she'd always step in. Rebecca. Everyone called her Becca. She was known as the 'nice' girl. Not exactly in the 'popular' group, but everyone knew who she was and everyone liked her. She had the most beautiful smile, and when she'd smile at you, you felt like you were the only person she had ever smiled at.

"Shut the fuck up about my mother!" James yelled and pushed the kid taunting him against a locker.

"Oh, little Jimmy is angry," the kid responded.

"My mother was not a whore!" he said. "What about your mom? I fucked her all night last night."

The kid who James was holding on to swung his arm back and punched him hard in the face. James stumbled backward and fell to the ground.

"Your mother was a fucking whore James," the kid answered holding him down by the throat. "She fucked anything. And your daddy knew it. I'm sure that your daddy wasn't really your daddy anyway. I mean didn't he have brown hair? Brown eyes?"

"Leave him alone Travis!" Becca exclaimed coming over to them.

"What?" Travis asked looking up. "This little bastard started it."

"That's enough!" she yelled. "God Travis. How would you feel? Get off of him."

"It happened 7 years ago…the little bitch needs to get over it," Travis answered standing up and walking away.

Becca sighed and walked over to James. He was trying his best to hold back the tears. He couldn't help but wonder if Travis was right. If everyone was right. Maybe the man he thought was his father…wasn't really his father.

"Don't listen to him James," Becca said, trying to help him up.

"Lemme alone," he mumbled and pushed her hand away.

"Ok," she nodded. "If you ever need to talk-I know it's not the same…but my dad left. I haven't seen him in 5 years…I sent him a letter asking him if he'd help pay to get me to France this summer, and he basically didn't want anything to do with me. He told me that he wasn't my father and he'd never be my father again."

"Sorry," he mumbled again.

"Yeah," she whispered.

It would be 2 weeks before they said one word to each other. James went into the bathroom to smoke. He'd been smoking since he was 13. He could hear moaning coming out one of the stalls. He shook his head but continued to smoke.

"Holy shit," a voice stated. There was a soft giggle and the sound of kissing, which Sawyer hadn't heard before.

"Now you know why everyone thinks I'm so nice," Becca's voice stated.

"You're damn right," the voice replied. "So…um…same time same place next week?"

"I'll have to put you back at the bottom of my list, Chris," she answered. The stall door opened and they saw James standing there smoking nonchalantly.

Chris quickly left the bathroom, but Becca just stared at him, almost curiously. She walked toward him and was standing very closely to him. Their noses were almost touching.

"Can I bum a smoke?" she asked quietly. He took out the pack of cigarettes and handed her one. She put the cigarette in her mouth and played with it with her tongue.

"So," she began. "Hasn't anyone ever told you about the 3rd floor men's room?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But since I've never actually seen anything happening in here I just thought it was bullshit."

"Well it's not," she whispered. "And I can put you right at the top of my list James. If that's what you want."

"That's ok," he shook his head.

"Have you ever been laid?" she asked running her tongue against his lips. He couldn't help himself but to open his mouth and put his mouth on hers. She lead them into the stall and pushed him roughly against the door of the stall.

"Now normally," she began. "I just do oral…but for you…since I take it you haven't been laid…I'll give you the full package."

"For what?" he asked.

"For nothing," she laughed and shook her head. "I'm not a prostitute. I just love sex."

She started working at his belt.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he whispered.

"I know," she smiled, that smile…that 'just-for-you' smile. She pushed his pants down and started touching him gently. He almost didn't know how to react. Sure he had jacked off plenty of times, but having someone else do it for him was a totally different feeling. She pushed against him and pulled her own pants down.

"Shh," she put her finger up to her lips, as he started protesting. She climbed on to him and started pushing herself into him. He didn't last very long, which made her laugh at him, but he didn't care. He had just lost his virginity. He was 15.

**Flashback Over**

"James," Kate said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," he answered. "I mean having the school slut want me? It was awesome."

"Well that's not what I was talking about," she stated. "I meant about those kids being such assholes. I'll kick all of their asses. If I ever meet any of those assholes…I'll kick them as hard as I can in the nads."

"Thanks," he smirked. "I already got my revenge though. You…at the high school reunion I'll have the hottest wife…although they have the last laugh because I'm not gonna be invited anyway."

"Why not?" she asked.

"I never graduated high school. I never went to high school. I didn't even finish 9th grade," he mumbled.

"I was the school slut," Kate whispered.

"Kate," he started.

"No," she shook her head. "You told me your first time…so it's my turn I guess. My first time…it wasn't special at all. It wasn't in a junior high bathroom either…but it was-"

**Flashback**

Katie Austen was a friendly girl. Everyone knew that her step dad was a pervert. He flirted with all the young high school girls, including his step-daughter. People liked her. It was a well known fact that she was best friends with Tom. Tommy and Katie…Katie and Tommy. They were together always. But in 10th grade she became more distant with him. People said it was because they had sex and things didn't go well. But it was really just because he didn't like that she was partying every night. Drinking and he thought she was having sex…but she wasn't…until…

Katie was dancing with Jared. She was standing as close as she possibly could and was grinding against him. She kissed his lips as they danced and then felt someone coming up behind her. He put his hands on her waist and put his front against her back.

"Hey Katie," the voice said.

"Hi," she whispered. She turned around and discovered one of the guys that was always at these parties. His name was Kevin. He pushed against her and started kissing her neck.

"What do you say we go up stairs?" she whispered.

"Who?" Jared asked.

"All of us," she smirked.

They all went up the stairs and found an empty room. They went into an empty room and all of them were kissing. Katie wasn't exactly sure she wanted to be losing her virginity right at this moment, but both of them were always nice to her and they could both kiss very well. She pushed Jared off of her lips and looked at him.

"Wait," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked putting his hand on her leg and moving it slowly toward her crotch. "I'm gonna be gentle Katie. I promise. We'll both be careful and you've done this before right?"

"Actually," she began. "No. I'm a virgin."

"Oh," he answered. "Well then we'll be careful."

He pushed her down gently and Kevin started working at getting her pants off. They both were kissing her and touching her. She almost liked it, but she still thought it was wrong. She sat up and shook her head.

"I don't want to do this," she whispered.

"Yes you do," Kevin said quietly. He pushed one finger into her and she gasped in shock, but also in pleasure. "See?"

"We're experts at this Katie," Jared told her. "We'll take care of you."

Kevin pushed another finger into her and they both continued to kiss her. Jared pulled his pants down and grabbed her hand. He put her hand against his growing erection and made the motion that he wanted her to make. She was confused…she didn't want to be doing this, but at the same time she was so turned on by what Kevin was doing to her. Kevin backed away and Jared pushed himself into her. She wasn't ready for the girth of him and let out a pained yell.

"Shh," he said quietly and almost soothingly. "You're ok."

He moaned and pushed further into her. It still hurt, but he had reached his hand between them and was stroking her gently, making her more aroused, and making it so it wasn't hurting as much. He came, but she hadn't yet. He rolled out of her and then Kevin looked at her.

"I'm gonna make you come Katie," Kevin said. He hovered over her and she put her hand there to prevent him from entering her.

"Wait," she whispered. "It hurts."

"I know," he nodded. "But the more you do it…the less it hurts. And you want me a lot more than you want Jared. I can tell."

"Huh?" she asked shaking her head.

"You want me Katie," he said moving over her. "You want me right? More than you want Jared. You want me to fuck you and make you come. You're still needy. You still need to come."

She had to admit that she was still on the brink and needed that release. She figured that it couldn't be worse than what Jared had just done. She figured that Kevin was right. It wouldn't hurt as bad. She nodded, and he kissed her gently. He rubbed against her without penetrating her. He wanted her to be more aroused. And he was genuinely being nice to her. He brushed his hand against her forehead and kissed her lips. She waited for him to go into her…and now she wanted it. He was making her want him so badly.

"Fuck me," she whispered.

"Are you serious?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she nodded. "I want you Kevin. Fuck me."

He did as he was told, but he was still being gentle. He was much more gentle than Jared. He moved in and out of her and made sure that she stayed aroused enough so it didn't hurt. Katie was not necessarily regretting what she had just done, but she still wasn't sure that it was the right thing. She wished that she would have waited. She should have waited for Tom. Tom was going to take care of her. She was the school slut the next day. Everyone had heard about her tag-team sexual experience, but most of them assumed that she had done it multiple times. In 6 months she would have had 16 sexual partners…and she was 16.

**Flashback Over**

"Jesus Kate," Sawyer whispered. "You were practically raped."

"No I wasn't," she shook her head. "I never actually said 'no' or 'stop'. I wanted to do it…I just wasn't totally sure."

"Well if you're not totally sure then it's called rape," he argued.

"Thanks for trying to protect me," she smiled. "But it really wasn't-I was…it was my choice."

"You've had as many sexual partners as I have," he told her. "Well almost. I've had 18."

"We're pathetic," she shook her head.

"No," he whispered. "We were pathetic Kate. But we found each other."

"I had sex so many times, but then I found Tom. I mean I didn't really find him because we were friends before that. We sort of 'dated' in junior high….you know that fake dating. Holding hands. The occasional peck on the cheek…or lips. He was my first kiss," she chuckled. "And my first love. The summer I turned 16...I had slept with 16 people Sawyer. I slept with 16 people in less than 6 months. And that doesn't include the fact that some of them were multiple times. I mean I may have been called a slut, and it may have hurt, I mean my feelings, but it was true."

"You ain't a slut Kate," he whispered. "And I'm glad your experienced because it means we can be creative without you being shocked."

"Anyway," she continued. "Tom and I found each other again. He rescued me from this guy who actually was trying to rape me. He brought me back to his house, and we got to talking. We ended up making out on his bed. We didn't have sex, but we decided to be together from then on. The first time we had sex was the most amazing night of my life…till you of course."

**Flashback**

Tom and Katie had been seeing each other for 4 months. They had done pretty much everything except have sex. They had gone down on each other only a few weeks after their relationship was official. Tom was a virgin. Katie liked the fact that she was going to be his first. She always thought that's the way it should have been anyway.

They were making out on his bed. She hated being at her house and he knew that. They were laying on their sides kissing passionately, and only getting more passionate as the time went on. It had been 4 months since Kate had had sex. She really wanted to have sex with him badly. She was waiting for him, and she knew that he would be worth the wait. She decided that she would see if he wanted her just as much and reached her hand between them.

"I want you to fuck me," she whispered.

"Katie," he started. "Baby, you don't need to talk like that to get me hot. I'm hot for you without those words. We will make love some day."

"Some day soon?" she asked. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't push you."

"Today," he nodded. "I love you Katie."

"I love you too Tom," she smiled. She leaned back down and he hovered over her. They began to kiss again and they each began removing clothing slowly and taking their time. As they made love Katie didn't realize that it could feel like that. And then she realized that everything that she knew about sex was a lie. This was truly making love. Everything else was meaningless fucking.

**Flashback Over**

"So does that mean that everything we've done is meaningless?" he asked. "Because we've never really done anything slowly. We've always used those dirty words."

"Well it hasn't been meaningless though," she whispered. "Sawyer I'm so in love with you. It wouldn't matter how we had sex. Everything is amazing with you. I love you."

"Before me when was the last time you had sex?" he asked.

"It was with Tom," she answered quietly. "He was married."

"Why did he marry someone else?" Sawyer asked.

"The day I graduated high school I knew that I had to get out of here," she answered. "I hated my life here. So I left. I started traveling. I went to California, Michigan, Florida, Arizona, Canada…everywhere. I just wanted to leave. But I came back for my dad's birthday. And I found out that my dad wasn't my dad…so I left again…only to come back to kill him. I kept leaving and coming back. I came back about a month after I killed my dad to see my mom…and Tom. Tom and I had sex. It started out with a stupid kiss, and then we ended up having sex in him and his wife's bed. I felt so awful for doing that, but I was so in love with him so I didn't care. He died the next day. It was almost a year ago."

"It's been almost a year since you had any sex with anyone?" he asked.

"Hence my vibrator," she giggled.

"You weren't joking about that the other night?" he asked. "You really have a vibrator?"

"Yep," she nodded.

"And have you used it since we've been together…cuz that's almost cheating," he chuckled. She smiled at him and kissed his lips, trying to kiss her way around the topic. She kissed him deeper and crawled on to him. She moved her hand down between them and tried to put it in his boxers, but he gently pushed them over and shook his head.

"I've used it," she whispered. "But only when I'm really horny and you're not around."

"Well is it better than me?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "It's different. It does things that you can't…but it also doesn't hold me afterwards. It doesn't brush the hair out of my face or plant soft kisses on my cheeks. It's just a hunk of rubber and plastic."

"Can I see it?" he asked.

"As long as you don't break it," she said looking at him seriously.

"I just want to compare," he replied.

"You're bigger," she assured him.

"So then what's the point?" he asked.

"I told you," she started. "For when you're not around."

"And when's that?" he asked.

"Ok," she nodded. "Example. The other day I got home from work at 3:00. You get home at 4:00. I was watching TV and their was a really hot sex scene in the movie I was watching…and before you ask, no it wasn't a porn, and no I don't know what it was because it was in the of the movie and I don't know what the name of the movie was…anyway I was freaking horny. So I went into our room and used it."

"So what's wrong with your fingers?" he asked. She got out of the bed and went to the closet. She came back to the bed with a shoe box and set it on the bed between them. She lifted the lid slowly and Sawyer anticipated seeing Kate's sex toy. She had the handcuffs in the box too. She twirled them on her finger and smirked at him.

"We'll have to play with these more often my friend," she said quietly.

"Sure," he nodded and smiled at her.

"You know how you said that my smile sometimes makes you hard?"

"Yeah," he replied, still smiling.

"Well yours does the same thing," she answered. "I love that smile."

She leaned toward him and kissed his lips. She moved her hand down middle his body. He almost gave in and then grabbed her wrist.

"First," he started. "Show me your-"

"My boobs?" she interrupted. "No problem."

She started taking her shirt off and he laughed. He put his hands on her boobs, and then pulled her shirt back down.

"That's not what I wanted to see and you know it," he replied.

"Why do you want to see my vibrator so badly?" she asked. "It's not like you've never-oh my god. You haven't. You've never seen a vibrator."

"I've never been with a woman who has needed one," he answered. "Plus…Kate, you're the longest relationship I've ever had. I've never been in love remember?"

"Ok," she nodded. "Fair enough."

She picked up the box and handed him the vibrator. He looked at it as if it was a foreign object that he had never heard of. She smiled as he looked at the item is hands, in awe. He handed it back to her and then carefully pulled her toward him.

"Tell me what you do," he whispered. "Tell me how you use that."

"I'll do you one better," she answered. She got off of his lap and took the vibrator in her hand. She moved the box to the floor and laid back. She put her hand inside her pajama pants and started moving her hand back and forth. She turned on the vibrator and Sawyer looked at her intrigued.

"It's loud," he whispered.

"Shh," she said. She pulled her pants down her hips. She wasn't wearing any underwear, which Sawyer figured out was a common occurrence. She hardly ever wore underwear…especially when they were home. She put the tip of the vibrator against herself and let out a soft moan. Sawyer watched her and stayed quiet. As she laid there pleasuring herself Sawyer had the urge to pleasure himself too. He put his hand in his boxers and continued to watch Kate. Her moans became more frequent and much louder.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"Shh!" she scolded. "I'm almost there."

She arched her back and pushed the vibrator in further. She fell apart next to him and then pulled the vibrator back out. Sawyer kept his eyes locked on her and his hand moving. He was very close, she could tell. She leaned over him and put her hand on top of his, which was wet with her own need. When he felt the wet, stickiness of her fingers on top of his he came hard and fast.

"Well," she smirked. "At least we got to pleasure ourselves without you having to worry about hurting my neck."

"Fuck Freckles," he whispered and smiled at her. He pulled her toward him and they were both still wet with sweat. Kate looked over at the clock and then leaned over him. She kissed him and backed away.

"Happy birthday James," she said quietly. "It's officially January 30th."

"You know what I read Freckles," he chuckled. "I read that Aquariums and Gemini's get along really well. In bed I mean. They're compatible."

"Well," she smiled. "I guess that explains some things. Isn't it weird that our birthday's are exactly 4 months apart."

"It'll be easy for me to remember your birthday then," he smiled. "May 30th."

"You better the hell remember my birthday," she said shoving him. "I wanna give you your present…or at least part of it."

She went back to the closet and shifted some things around. She came back with a small wrapped gift and handed it to him. He smirked at her and unwrapped it. It was a book…Kama Sutra to be exact. He looked at her and chuckled.

"It's the latest edition," she told him. "With-"

"At least 50 new positions," he and Kate both read aloud.

"Well thank you," he smirked and kissed her. "Tomorrow…or well I guess tonight we'll have to try one."

"I have another present for tomorrow night," she answered. "So you better the hell let us have some hot sex because I didn't buy this book so we would have good reading material."

"What's your present for tomorrow?" he asked. She leaned toward him and kissed his neck.

"You'll just have to wait and see," she whispered.

"Lemme ask you something Freckles," he began. "If your friend Tom was still alive, would you want to be with him?"

"Not anymore," she shook her head. "But it doesn't matter anyway because he's not alive. He's dead. He died. And the night before he died…it was one of the best nights of my life, before I met you."

**Flashback**

She knew that she shouldn't be going to see him. She knew that he was a married man now. He fell in love with someone else. But seeing him again and hugging him it was almost like nothing had changed between them.

"It's good to see you Katie," Tom said handing her a glass of water. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she whispered and came out of her daze. "I missed you Tom."

"I missed you too," he answered. "But we all knew that the day would come. You were never going to stay in Des Moines."

"I still love you," she wished so badly that she could take it back, but it was too late. "Sorry."

"I'm not," he shook his head and walked over to her. "I still love you too Katie, but I'm married. I have a child. I can't just-I don't want to hurt them. But I don't want to hurt you either."

"It's my own stupid fault Tom. If I could just-no you know what…no more excuses. I'm gonna go. I never should have come here."

"Wait," he whispered. "Do you think it's still there?"

She knew without having to ask what he was talking about. They decided silently that they would drive to their special spot. They would spend hours under that tree, as kids, and as teenagers. Sometimes just talking, other times making out.

As they sat in the car listening to their voices fill the car Kate wanted nothing more but for him to tear her clothes off of her right then and there. They kept looking at each other and finally Kate couldn't take it anymore…she leaned over to him and kissed him. He kissed her back, but then backed away.

"Katie," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head.

"Stop apologizing," he replied. He put the car in to gear and drove back to his house in silence. Kate was almost taken aback and didn't really know how to react to his actions. He wasn't talking to her, and he was driving over the speed limit. He screeched into his driveway and looked at her.

"W-what?" she asked timidly.

"Come on," he whispered. "Come back into my house."

"Why?" she asked. "What-"

"Just trust me Katie," he replied. She followed him back into the house. She wasn't cared by any means…she knew that he would never hurt her, she just didn't understand what he was doing. When they got into the house he took her by the hand and lead her through the house. They got to the bedroom and Kate finally had an inkling of what he was doing.

"Tom-" she started, but his lips crushed against hers before she could say anything else. He lead her toward the bed and started kissing her deeper

"I missed your lips Katie," he said, going back to kissing her. She wrapped her legs around him and moved her mouth down his neck.

"I want you," she whispered. "I've been waiting so long for this."

"You're acting as if we've never done this before," he smirked.

"Well it's been almost 3 years," she responded. "I've been waiting for 3 years for you."

"I've always just been right here Katie," he told her.

"I haven't done anything in 3 years," she whispered. "Will you fuck me?"

"Darling," he said with a small sigh. He bent down and kissed her. She moved against him and started working on her pants. They made love that night and Kate finally felt like she was wanted and needed. Her mom didn't need her and her dad wasn't her dad. Her whole world was falling a part around her. And Tom kept her safe.

**Flashback Over**

Sawyer looked at her and put his hands on her cheeks. He pulled her into a slow passionate kiss. She responded by rolling over on top of him. He moved his hand through her hair and then remembered her neck. He got out from underneath her and kissed her on the nose.

"No fair," she said quietly. "You started it."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know that you are loved. You are wanted…scratch that…you're needed. And I'm sorry that you never felt any good except for when you were with him."

"Well you make me feel good," she whispered.

"Good," he answered. "That's the idea Kate. I always want you to feel good babe."

"Everything you do to me feels good," she said. "I don't know where you became such an expert…and I don't really want to know, but you're amazing."

"Well I guess our experience isn't all bad then," he smirked. "We both have that experience that makes us the best either of us have ever been with."

"Do you think maybe part of that has to do with how much we love each other?" she asked. He answered with a nod of his head and a soft kiss.

**A/N: OK so I'm a nerd and a half. Haha. I'm an Aquarius so I decided who my best match would be and when it said (granted it was on a website that may not have been completely reliable) but anyway it said and I quote **Aquarius -Gemini : Once these two are together, they may never part. **I was like holy crap! Sawyer HAS to be an Aquarius…and not just in my fic but in the show. I'm really hoping they'll bring back the astrology thing for fun just because I think it would be interesting. Also I know that the time frame for the flashbacks might be a little wonky, but try to ignore it if you can. Anyway please review and tell me what you think about the flashbacks and the astrology thing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Katie-I'm glad you liked the astrology thing. I thought it was a good idea if I do say so myself. Supersolanea-you asked for kinky…so here ya go. Haha. Lucyy-thanks! You guys are all awesome. I hope that this isn't too over the top hehe. Before I got the review from supersolenea asking for more kinkiness, I had already planned to make this chapter really kinky, so I'm glad that I got the support to do so hehe. Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter…it's the longest one so far.**

Sawyer woke up and Kate was gone from the bed. He didn't think much of it but he missed her warm body there to wake him up. Especially since it was his birthday. He noticed a post-it note on Kate's pillow. He picked it up and read.

_**Shower…meet me in there?**_

He quickly got out of the bed and practically ran to the bathroom. He heard the water running before he opened the door. He quietly went into the bathroom and saw Kate's clothes sitting in a small pile on the floor. He took off his boxers and pulled the shower curtain back. Jill screamed loudly and Sawyer quickly left the room, turning a deep shade of red. He hadn't even bothered to put his boxers back on. He ran back to the bedroom and got back under the covers. He pulled the comforter over his head.

Kate came down the hall when she heard the screaming, but Sawyer had already gone back into their bedroom. She went into the bedroom and saw that Sawyer was under the covers. She crawled under the covers from the foot of the bed. She noticed he was naked as she made her way up his body.

"You couldn't wait till I brought you breakfast?" she whispered. She kissed him once and waited for his response.

"Well," he replied. He handed her the post-it note and she read it.

"Shit," she whispered. "I left this on my pillow an hour ago. I forgot to throw it out when I got out of the shower."

"Why didn't you wait for me?" he asked pushing her still damp hair out of her face.

"Because I wanted to make you some breakfast…before noon…so how's this. I'll bring you your breakfast and then we can spend the day together."

"Seeing as I don't have a job that won't be a problem for me," he replied. "But what about you."

"Well I called work yesterday after I got into the car accident," she answered. "They gave me the rest of the week off."

"That works for me," he whispered. "So…we can do anything for the rest of the day?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Anything you want."

"Can we take a shower after breakfast?"

Kate smiled and bent down to kiss him. He flipped over on top of her and ran his hand up her body. She was fully clothed, but he was still turned on. He looked down at he and she let out a soft giggle.

"Your breakfast is getting cold," she whispered.

"I don't really care," he shook his head. He kissed her lips hard, and then he stopped. She looked up at him and waited.

"What?" she whispered.

"I don't want to hurt you Freckles," he replied.

"Oh hell no," she said. "It's your birthday James. We're not going to take it easy. I don't care what you want. We're spending the day together...and let's just say that it won't be spent knitting a sweater."

"But you just said it's _my _birthday, so isn't it my decision?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "It took me forever to come up with the perfect present for you and I'm not going to let all that go to waste."

"Ok," he whispered with a sigh. "So after breakfast you wanna hop in the shower with me?"

"Yes," she nodded. "As long as you don't wimp out on me and leave the shower before I'm done."

"Deal," he said. He held out his hand for her to take. She took it and then leaned toward him for a kiss. She kissed him and then looked down at him.

"So did you walk in on Kyle in the shower?" she chuckled.

"Did that scream sound like it was Kyle?" he asked, turning red again. Kate let out another laugh and kissed him again.

They went back out into the kitchen and Sawyer saw the breakfast that Kate had made. It had gotten cold, but neither of them minded much. Sawyer sat down at the table and Kate sat down on his lap. They started feeding each other. Kate laughed as Sawyer took went to feed her a bite of the pancake off his fork, but then ate it himself.

"Sawyer!" Kyle yelled coming toward them. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm being stupid and silly with my wife," he answered simply.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," Kyle scoffed. "You walked in on Jill in the shower."

"I know," Sawyer nodded. He stood up and gently pushed Kate out of the way.

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled and lunged toward him. Kate stood between them and pushed Kyle back.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed. "Kyle calm down."

"No!" he screamed. "What the hell are you doing sticking up for him?! They saw each other naked Kate!"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I know. But it wasn't Sawyer's fault."

"He needs to learn how to knock."

"He thought it was me," she sighed. "We only have one bathroom…I mean come on. I put a note on his pillow to meet me in the shower…and I forgot it was there."

"Fine," he scoffed. "Whatever. I wouldn't care if they hadn't fucked."

"What?!" Kate exclaimed.

"Oh…you mean you didn't tell your wife?" he asked. "Yeah…he and Jill used to be fuck buddies…before she met me and realized what a loser Sawyer was."

"Shut up," Sawyer said.

"No," he shook his head. "Kate has a right to know that you and Jill used to have sex every night."

"Well," Sawyer replied. "We all know that I'm the best lay Jill has ever had."

"Then why wasn't she in the book Sawyer?" Kate asked quietly.

"Because I made him burn that page when Jill and I started dating," Kyle answered.

"Sawyer?" she questioned. "I need to hear it from you Sawyer. Is he serious?"

"Let's go talk," he sighed. He took her by the hand and lead her through the apartment and to the bedroom. Kate felt like crying, but she held back her tears. She hated the fact that Sawyer and Jill might have had sex. She was so hoping that Kyle was just trying to start a fight because of being upset about them seeing each other naked. Kate sat down on the bed and waited for Sawyer to start talking.

"Kate," he whispered. "It was a long time ago. And we never said I love you."

"Well that makes me feel much better," Kate scoffed.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I told you…there's a lot about my past-"

"Speaking of which you lied to me," she said standing up. "Last night I didn't realize it but you lied to me."

"What are you talkin' about?" he asked.

"Well you said that you've only had sex with 18 people," she replied. "According to that book of yours…I was number 103. "

"Yeah, but Kate," he started.

"No!" she yelled. "I was number 103 in that damn book…and if it's true that you and Jill used to fuck then that would make me number 104. That's a huge difference from 18 Sawyer! Fuck you Sawyer. Fuck you."

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Wait. Wait!"

She began to leave the room but he stopped her. He pushed her against the door and refused to let her go. She was leaving because she didn't want him to see her cry. The tears started falling and she wiped them away, hoping that he didn't see them.

"Fuck Katie," he began. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to be mad at me anymore. I lied because I didn't want to say the number out loud. I know that you already knew, but saying the number out loud would only make me a terrible person."

"I already knew that you had a lot of sexual partners Sawyer and I still love you," she whispered. "I still married you. But I can't take these lies Sawyer. I don't want to…and you just called me Katie."

"Because I'm begging you," he said touching her face. "Please don't walk out of that door. Please don't make this the worst birthday of my life by leaving me."

"It'll be your own fault," she replied. "If I leave this room it's not gonna be my fault…it's gonna be yours."

"I know," he nodded. "But please…just let me explain."

"Fine," she closed her eyes. "Explain to me how you and Jill used to fuck. Was she good to you Sawyer? Did she suck you like I do?"

"Kate," he whispered. Kate folded her arms over her chest and waited for Sawyer to tell her his story.

**Flashback**

Jill and Sawyer were friends. They met one day at the bar. She had a boyfriend who treated her like crap, but she would come to the bar, talk to Sawyer and everything would be ok. It wasn't even like he was that attracted to her, but she needed a friend, so he figured that he could do that for her.

He walked into the bar and sat down in his normal spot. The bartender handed him a bottle of beer and then shook his head.

"Your friend has been in the girls bathroom for 20 minutes," he told him. "When she got here she started doing shots. I don't know if she's crying or puking in there, but she could use a friend."

Sawyer didn't even take a sip of his beer before going into the girls bathroom. He went to the last stall and knocked softly on the door, which wasn't even latched all the way. He opened the door and found Jill sitting on the floor, sobbing. She wasn't puking and hadn't puked, but she was definitely upset.

"Sawyer," she sobbed. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Then she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. "Please Sawyer…just make the pain stop."

"Not like this Jill," he whispered. "You're drunk."

"Not anymore," she shook her head. "I'm not drunk anymore. I just need to feel something other than my heart breaking."

"He didn't deserve you Jill," he said. "He treated you like shit. Just-"

Before he could continue Jill had jumped up again and wrapped her legs around him again. She kissed his lips and he gave in. He kissed her back and then backed away.

"Please," she sobbed. "Just make this all go away Sawyer. Just for a day. Take me home with you. You don't have to love me…no strings attached. Just us…and sex."

"Jill," he began. She grabbed him by the hand and walked out of the bathroom. She had seen where he lived once and practically dragged Sawyer there. When they got to the door of the apartment, he looked at her.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Positive," she replied. He opened the door and she didn't wait for him to call for Kyle. She just jumped into his arms and started kissing him and rubbing against him. She lifted her skirt up over her hips and he discovered that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Couch," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Fuck me on the couch," she stated. He carried her over to the couch and laid her down. She quickly unbuckled his pants and pushed them down.

"Jill-" he started.

"Stop saying my name," she told him. "I'm ready for you…I'm wet and waiting for you to fuck me."

**Flashback Over**

"We did it about once a week," he mumbled. "But she meant nothing…I mean that sounded bad. I mean…she meant something to me, but it wasn't love. When she met Kyle they started having 'one night stands'. She was mine…and she sort of cheated on me with Kyle. When I found out they were having sex, it pissed me off…but they fell in love…so how was I supposed to compete with that. I'm sorry that I lied to you yesterday about having only 18 sexual partners. But when I heard your number was 16, I didn't really feel too great about myself. Are you still mad at me?"

"No," she whispered. "Sawyer…I lied too. My number is higher."

"Well," he began. "I don't want to know. But I do want to know why you felt the need to lie. You knew that my number was higher-holy shit Kate. You get down on me…you scream at me for making that book of numbers. I burn my book for you and your number is larger than 103?"

"No," she shook her head. "It's not higher than 103."

"Dammit!" he yelled. "What is your number? Your real number."

"50," she whispered and closed her eyes. "50 that I can remember. And another 10-15 that was drunken sex that I didn't remember till I was told the next day."

"Am I the best?" he asked crawling over to her.

"This can't possibly turn you on?" she asked.

"Baby," he began. "It doesn't matter to me. Nothing you've done in your past-I love you. And it's my birthday and I want to make love to you all day and all night."

Kate let out a chuckle and shook her head. She put her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her and kissed her lips. She kissed him back.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry too," he replied. He kissed her again and pulled her closer. She moaned into his mouth and waited for him to start touching her, but he wasn't making a move toward her pants. It was almost starting to annoy her.

"How about that shower?" he whispered.

They walked together to the bathroom, and bumped into Jill and Kyle on the way. Neither of them looked happy. Jill had puffy eyes and she looked at Kate sadly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I would have told you but-"

"He doesn't love you," Kate replied. "So I don't care. I won."

"Do you hate me?" Jill asked.

"Am I happy?" Kate asked. "Not particularly, but I'll get over it. Don't worry Jill…we're ok. It just might take some time. It's Sawyer's birthday…and I intend to be with him all day and all night."

"I can't believe you forgave him," Kyle mumbled.

"Well you're still with Jill," Kate answered. "And Sawyer is still your best friend. Or did you dump Jill and that's why she's crying?"

"She's crying because she didn't think that you were going to forgive her," Kyle responded.

"Ok," Sawyer began. "I don't mean to be a jerk here, but it's my birthday and I would really like to go take a shower with my wife. Is that alright with all of you?"

He didn't wait for an answer before he pulled Kate into the bathroom. He pulled her shirt over her head. Although it may have been a tad too fast, Kate didn't care. She turned on the water and started stripping the rest of the way.

When they got into the shower Sawyer ran his hands down her body. He pulled her toward him and kissed her lips softly and slowly.

"Let's see if we can put all our experience to practice," he whispered. She wrapped her arms and legs around him. He pushed her against the shower wall and pushed into her. She screamed loudly in pleasure. He let out a chuckle and started moving his mouth over hers. He pushed harder against her and she started moaning loudly in his ear.

"Do you ever dream of me fucking you?" he whispered.

"Every night," she moaned.

"Tell me what I do to you," he replied. She moaned again and unwrapped herself from him.

"Let's go to the bedroom and I'll tell you," she whispered. They walked back to their room wearing towels. Kate flung hers to the floor and climbed onto the bed. Sawyer followed her and leaned over her.

"Tell me," he said into her ear. "Tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to push two of your fingers into me," she replied somewhat loudly. "I want to ride your hand till I come."

He did what she told him to do and felt how wet she was, and it wasn't just from the water. He groaned when he felt how excited she was. It took no time for her to come. She leaned up to kiss him, and he kept backing away, trying to tease her.

"I want to fuck you," he whispered. "I want to fuck you so hard that you forget those 50 other guys."

"At least 60," she corrected him. Before either of them said another word he lifted himself up and pushed himself into her. She arched her back to try and push him in further.

"Do you like me fucking you?" he asked.

"Yes," she moaned. "I want you to fuck me harder Sawyer."

"You're a slut," he told her. She rolled over on top of him and pulled herself out of him, before slamming against him again.

"So are you," she whispered. She bit at his ear a little too roughly and he rolled them back over. She dug her fingernails into his back and gave him scratches. He bit at her collarbone. There movements became more hard, and almost angry, but they were letting all their anger out on pleasuring each other.

"I'm gonna fuck you like those other guys," he whispered. "Did they make you feel like a slut Kate? Because you are. You're a fucking slut Kate. And I'm not surprised that I have the biggest dick. You love my dick don't you."

"I hate you!" she yelled as she flipped them over again. He was still buried in her and she began hitting him with her fists. He saw something in the mirror that he never noticed before. There was a black mark on her left butt cheek.

"What's that?" he asked poking at it with his finger, and still saying inside of her.

"Tattoo," she replied. "It says Mike."

He bucked his hips and made her let out a sharp moan. He flipped them back over and ground his hips hard against hers. She let out a moan and a sob. He was hurting her, but he didn't care. And neither did she.

"What?" he asked. "Mike what?"

"One of my one night stands Sawyer," she told him nonchalantly. "We fucked all night and then got matching tattoos. We were both so drunk that it didn't even hurt. And then we came home and fucked again."

"Matching ass cheek tattoos," he said quietly. "How quaint. What the fuck is your problem Kate? You must have been really fucked up to do something like that. I'm surprised that Tom would ever have wanted to fuck you after that."

"You fucked Jill," she growled holding back the tears. "Did you like her warm wetness? Did she taste as sweet as me Sawyer? Did you like fucking her and making her come? Because all those guys before you…I know they loved my cunt."

"Fuck you Kate," he said with a moan.

"That's your job," she whispered. "It's your _job _Sawyer. It's your _job _to fuck me."

"No," he replied with a chuckle. "It's those 60 other guys' job Kate, you whore."

"How many times have you and Jill fucked since we've been together Sawyer?" she asked. "Do you ever think about her when you jack off in the shower? I bet you do. Jill's tongue the one licking your hard cock. She puts it in her mouth, but her mouth isn't as big as mine, so she can't fit the whole thing in."

"What about those guys Kate?" he asked. "Did they taste you? Did you give them head? How many dicks have you had in your mouth, you fucking whore."

"All of them," she answered, and flipped over on top of him. "I sucked them so hard that they came into the back of my throat. And they tasted great."

"Not as good as me," he spat. "I'm the best fuck you'll ever have. And you know it. I can tell when you swallow that I'm the best you've ever tasted."

"Yeah," she whispered and lowered to his ear. "In your dreams baby. I know that you want to fuck Jill…so why don't you just go fuck her right now asshole?"

She rolled off of him and curled into a ball. He grabbed her and pushed himself back into her.

"Because I'm not done with you yet, slut," he said into her ear. "I'm gonna fuck you harder than I ever have before."

He was holding her down, but she didn't care. She wanted him to. She was trying to get out of his grip, and that only made him hold her tighter which oddly enough only made her more aroused.

"Fuck you," she said through her teeth.

"No Kate," he whispered. "Fuck you."

Sawyer started thrusting harder. They both came and Sawyer rolled off of her. She looked over at him and put her head on his shoulder. She was crying, but not sobbing. Tears were hitting Sawyer's chest. He put his arms around her and shook his head.

"Now that we got all that outta the way," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled and wiped her cheeks. He gently backed away from her and put his thumbs against the undersides of her eyes to wipe the tears again.

"Shh," he shook his head. "I'm sorry too. Did I hurt you?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But in some really fucked up way it only made me want you more."

They spent the rest of the day laying in bed, naked. They didn't have any more sex, but they kissed each other where they left marks. Kate kissed Sawyer's ear gently, she actually had made the skin bleed, which he didn't even notice. She kissed his back where there were many different scratches from her nails. He chuckled and told her that she needed to cut them so they didn't do as much damage. He kissed her hips where there were a couple small bruises beginning to form. She had a bruise on her collarbone where Sawyer had bit it harder than he meant to, and she knew it would get bigger. He kissed her there and then moved to her lips.

"No more fighting," Kate whispered. "Obviously we both had really fucked up lives before each other. We have to just love each other James. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," he answered. "I promise."

Both Sawyer and Kate's words had hurt each other, but they knew that it was only anger, and it was anger that just needed to be released. Later that night they decided to leave the bed only when there stomachs started growling and they were ready to eat dinner. Jill and Kyle had decided to leave the apartment for the night so that Kate and Sawyer could have the night to themselves...They also knew that both Sawyer and Kate were going to be really loud, and they didn't want to deal with it. Kate made Sawyer his favorite meal, which was easy enough. Spaghetti and meatballs. They had a small food fight and knew that the wounds were beginning to heal already. All was forgiven. The each only had to say sorry once and they knew how much it meant. After dinner Kate stood up and walked over to the couch. She laid down and waited for Sawyer to come over. He knelt next to her and smirked.

"You said that there was another gift that you had."

She smirked and stood up.

"Sit there," she said pointing at the couch. She walked out of the room. Sawyer heard her return, but she came up behind him with a blindfold and he no longer could see where she was. He could hear her in the kitchen area and heard her come back. She sat down on his lap, facing him. He felt something cold and wet touch his neck and knew that it was an ice cube, but he could feel Kate's hot breath too, so he knew that the ice was in her mouth. He put his hands on her hips and she took off the blindfold. She was wearing very short pink night dress. It was shorter than the white one and it was sexier. It wasn't as sheer, but the neck line was plunging.

"Who are you gonna be tonight?" he asked.

"Just Kate," she smiled.

"I'm ok with that," he smiled.

"You better be," she answered. She continued to run the ice cube over his bare chest and neck. He kept leaning up for soft kisses, and she was allowing it.

"Should I go get my new book?" he asked.

"Nope," she shook her head. "I already found the position I wanted to try."'

She lifted her dress over her head and wasn't wearing any underwear. He wasn't wearing anything but his boxers, but not for long. She got up off his lap long enough to pull his boxers off. She took her spot back and slid on to him. She pushed herself onto him and kissed him, but then, did something that both shocked and excited Sawyer. She leaned back and was now laying on his legs, while still keeping him inside of her. She was moving against him and had her eyes closed. Sawyer ran his hand up her body and then back down. Kate started breathing heavily. She knew that for some reason Sawyer liked it better when she came softly. She didn't know why, but it made him more excited. She didn't sit up yet, but when she stopped moving he leaned down and slowly lifted her limp body into his arms. She giggled into his ear and started sucking at his neck. She backed off of him and looked at him.

"Hands down best birthday ever Freckles," he said. "Even with the fight sex."

"I came twice during that angry fuck," she nodded. "We should fight more often."

"I don't think so," he shook his head. "I like making love to you way more than angry fucking."

"Well I'm glad to hear that cowboy, because there's more in the bedroom. The night is young."

Kate stood up and grabbed her nightgown. He smirked at her and they both walked back to the bedroom. She hadn't put her clothes back on, so watching her walk naked back to the bedroom definitely turned him on. When they went into the room Sawyer saw a bottle of champagne chilling and a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries. Kate smirked at him and lifted her nightgown over her head, and was now covered. She sat down on the bed and picked up a strawberry and started moving it into her mouth. She licked her lips. Sawyer walked toward her and leaned over her. She put the strawberry against his lips and then put it into her mouth.

"Hmm," she moaned. "It's good."

"Not as good as you," he whispered. He lowered himself to the floor in front of her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her feet planted firmly on the floor in front of her.

"It's _your _birthday," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "So I should be able to have the dessert I want right?"

"Sawyer," she half moaned.

"I bet you're already wet and waiting aren't you Freckles," he said breathing against the material on her nightgown. He pushed the nightgown over her thighs so she was exposed. He lowered his head and kissed her inner thigh. He kissed the other one and then moved closer.

"Do you want me to put my mouth on you Kate?" he asked quietly. "Do you want me to fuck you with my tongue."

"Yes," she breathed. She opened her legs wider.

"I'm gonna lick you," he told her. She breathed in deeply and started panting before his mouth touched her. His breath was so close to her that she was beginning to grow wetter as he breathed, and he knew it. She was anticipating his touch and she started playing with her nipples. Sawyer could see her moving out of the corner of his eye and raised his head to see what she was doing. Watching her like that was only making him hard.

"Stop that," he whispered. "That's for me."

"They're my tits," she argued. "I can touch them all I want."

He finally touched her with his mouth and she let out a moan of ecstasy. He waited until she orgasmed once, and then kept going to see if he could get her to orgasm again just as quickly. He started sucking on her clit and she started moaning louder. He reached up and touched her nipple with one hand and stuck two fingers into her while keeping his mouth against her.

"Don't stop," she breathed. "Oh my god."

He continued to stimulate all of her and she came a second and then a third time. She pulled him up toward her and looked at him before kissing him. They were laying on their sides. Sawyer rolled over on to his back and was breathing just as hard as Kate.

"Do you like how I taste?" she whispered.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Are you hard?" she asked, crawling herself toward him and climbing on top of his chest.

"Feel for yourself," he whispered. She reached her hand back and touched him softly. He was definitely very hard and ready for her. She kissed his lips and shook her head.

"I need a minute," she whispered softly. "But I promise…the night ain't even close to being over."

"Damn Kate," he said with a smirk. "I don't know how many more times I can do this."

"As many as I tell you birthday boy," she stated, leaning down and kissing him softly. She sucked on his bottom lip, and then moved her mouth down his body. She lifted herself over him and lowered down on to him. She started grinding against him slowly.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"I like it when I'm on top," she told him. "Do you?"

"Yes," he nodded and pushed the hair out of her face so he could look at her. "I love watching your face when you come."

She started moving faster against him and her breath became more labored. He grabbed on to her hips and helped her as she slammed into him again and again. Kate came first and collapsed against him. He could feel her heart pounding and her breathing beginning to return to normal. He came shortly afterward.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," he said quietly back. She rolled off of him and snuggled next to him. He chuckled softly and put his hand on the back of her head.

"Do you wanna use your vibrator again?" he asked

"Hold on...lemme catch my breath," she said smiling into his chest. "But are you serious."

"Freckles," he started. "Watching you use that thing was pretty much the hottest thing I've ever done…although that thing you did earlier was pretty damn hot too."

"You mean on the couch?" she asked. "When I bent back so you could watch me ride you?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "That."

"Well anytime you wanna try anything in that book of yours just lemme know," she replied.

"Really?" he asked. "Anything in the book?"

"Duh," she answered. "Sawyer…I bought it so that we could try it…it's not just to look at the pretty pictures."

"Hmm," he said. "Maybe there's something in here with sex toys."

"I'm sure there is," she chuckled. "Why don't you go figure that out…I'm gonna go to the bathroom ok?"

"Do I really have a choice?" he asked. "If you gotta pee, then you gotta pee."

Kate laughed again and got out of the bed. She wrapped her robe around her self and walked toward the door.

"Hey Kate," Sawyer started. "What's the point of getting re-dressed? We're alone in the apartment, and you're just gonna have to get naked again when you come back."

She shrugged and decided he was right. She took the robe back off and threw it at him. He caught it and smirked at her. She went into the bathroom and accessed all her marks that Sawyer had left on her. They weren't all from their angry sex, but most of them were. She looked at the bite mark that Sawyer left on her collarbone and touched it with her fingers. It didn't exactly hurt…in fact it looked much worse than it felt, but she still couldn't believe that he had left such a nasty bite on her. She looked at the bruises on her hips from Sawyer slamming into her numerous times. She figured that she would probably have permanent purple hips from their constant rough sex, but now they actually kind of hurt. She had some scratches on her chest and one really deep on her back that she hadn't noticed before and doubted if Sawyer noticed. He hadn't even noticed the tattoo that was on her butt cheek. She always regretted getting that tattoo. She whished that she hadn't ever had sex with Mike, let alone get his name tattooed on her. It was permanent. Sawyer had left some pretty gross marks on her in the past…but none of them, she hoped, would be permanent. She wasn't mad at him at all…in fact she had probably left some bad marks on him too. Neither one of them meant to be as rough with each other as they ended up being, but Kate had to admit that it was sexy.

When she got back to the bedroom Sawyer was sitting on the bed holding the shoe box that held Kate's vibrator in it. She smiled at him and walked toward him. She sat down on the bed and covered herself with the sheet.

"You really want to have sex again?" she asked.

"Hey," he began. "Birthday boy right?"

"You are correct," she said. "Ok…so what do you want to do?"

"I want to pleasure you with this," he replied.

"I can't believe," she shook her head. "I just can't believe that you want to use this with me. It's been one of my fantasies. I just figured that you would be jealous and wouldn't want to even see it…let alone use it on me."

"Girl, you're crazy," he shook his head. "I'm just as kinky as you."

"I guess you're right," she smiled.

"It's sexy watching you with this thing," he whispered. "It's almost like you're fucking yourself. And I get to watch you come and look so gorgeous. You look like an angel when you come Kate."

"Are you trying to make me come before we start?" she breathed and leaned toward him.

"Can I fuck you with this, and then fuck you again for real?" he whispered.

"You better the hell fuck me right now," she told him. She tossed the sheet off of herself and laid down. He turned on the vibrator and held it against her but didn't push it in. He waited until she was writhing underneath him until he pushed it in slowly and carefully. He put one hand on her stomach and the other he kept the vibrator moving. She moaned softly and moved against him.

"You don't-" she started. "Give it to me."

"Shh," he whispered. "I'm just learning how to use this thing Freckles. I know I ain't an expert at this yet, but I'm an expert at everything else so gimme a break."

"Push it in further," she breathed. He did what she told him and she took his other hand up to her mouth. She started kissing his hand and putting his fingers in her mouth. It was arousing him. He was aroused from watching her, but now he wanted to be inside her. He quickly pulled his boxers down and removed the vibrator from her. She gasped in pleasure as he quickly pushed himself into her.

"So which is better," he asked into her ear.

"You," she moaned. "You. You're so fucking hard."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know. I'm harder than your toy. I will always be harder and bigger than that hunk of plastic."

"Yeah," she moaned again. "I know. I want you to grind into me so hard that I scream from the pain and excitement."

He started grinding harder and started gently licking her neck and then moved toward her breasts. She started screaming his name. Mostly it came out James, but there were a couple times when she yelled out Sawyer. He contained his moans and just let her be loud and beautiful.

"Mrs. Ford," he began.

"Wh-what?" she stuttered. She was so close to coming, but Sawyer wanted to hold her on the edge.

"I love you Katherine Ford."

"I love you too," she said. He pulled himself almost all the way out of her and then came down agonizingly slowly. She came apart underneath him and he rolled off of her. He looked at her as he watched he come back to earth. She rolled toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Happy birthday James," she whispered. They both fell asleep quickly from mere exhaustion. They were both sore, not just from their angry sex, but just from having sex multiple times. Kate's legs hurt, but she knew they were only becoming stronger. Sawyer was just as sore as Kate, but he didn't care. Even though they had hurt each other in more than one way that night, they also realized how much they loved each other and needed each other.

**A/N: :) Yay. Haha. I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. I hope you guys all liked it. Please take a moment or two to review because that would be awesome!! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yay. You guys liked the previous chapter! I'm so happy. I'm so excited for tonight. I don't mean to rub it in for people who aren't going to be able to see it. But you guys are the only ones who understand my excitement hehe. My family all thinks I'm crazy and obsessed...and I am hah, but at least I have people here who can get that. Anyway please read and enjoy.**

Sawyer woke up next to Kate. She was sleeping soundly next to him. He was still sore from their night together last night. He hoped that he hadn't hurt her too badly. He looked at the bruise on her collarbone and sighed to himself. It looked awful. He leaned toward her and kissed the bruise gently. He ran his hand up her body and to her face. She flinched slightly and but then fell back to sleep immediately. He kissed her collarbone again and then kissed her lips. She kissed him back and began to smile. She backed away from him and looked at him.

"Morning," she said.

"Hey," he whispered. "That was seriously the best night of my entire life Freckles."

"Why?" she asked with a smile. "Because I did naughty things to you."

"And," he began. "Because I really do love you…and last night I realized just how true it is. And I know that you probably only said it because you were pissed at me, but I have not done anything with Jill in over a year and a half. Long before I met you."

"Have you slept with her since she was with Kyle?" Kate asked curiously. "Not that I care even…but it's just out of curiosity."

"Well…curiosity killed the cat, Ms. Kat Diamond."

"I won't be mad," she replied. "I just love hearing about you with other women…because they aren't ever gonna be with you again."

"As long as you promise not to leave this bed," he replied.

"James I don't think I could even move," she chuckled. "I'm still recovering from last night."

**Flashback**

There was a month time when Jill was sleeping with both Sawyer and Kyle. She didn't tell Sawyer that she had started to sleep with Kyle...and Kyle thought that she had broken things off with Sawyer. She was lying to both of them. Kyle was sweet to her, more boyfriend material…but she didn't want to stop having sex with Sawyer because he was so good. He knew exactly what he was doing. When Sawyer found out that Jill was having sex with Kyle too he was pissed. Even though he and Jill weren't ever even officially a couple, he still felt like she had been cheating on him. They were friends with benefits...but he wasn't sleeping with anyone else, and didn't think she was either. Kyle was his best friend, and she was just off limits. He and Kyle had gotten into a big fight over it. Kyle ended up with a black eye and a broken nose. Sawyer received a fat lip. Kyle and Jill had made up and decided that they really did love each other. Jill and Sawyer never had any real love for each other. They loved each other like friends…but nothing more. That's what Jill had told Sawyer at least.

Kyle and Jill had been officially a couple for 3 months. There was a knock at the apartment door. Kyle was gone for the weekend. When Sawyer opened the door he saw Jill standing in front of him. She was crying. He rubbed his forehead with his hand and looked at her.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's the matter?"

"My dad," she sobbed. "My dad just died."

"Oh," he sighed. "Jilly I'm so sorry."

He stepped toward her and hugged her tightly. She sobbed on his shoulder and then looked up at him. He was being so sweet to her. She lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed his lips softly.

"Jill," he began.

"Kyle's out of town," she told him, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"I know," he replied. "He is my roommate, you know."

"I just want to feel safe," she stated. "You always make me feel so safe Sawyer. Please."

"I really don't think this is a good idea," he shook his head.

"I think it's an excellent idea," she said. "I just want to feel better. I need to forget about my heart breaking…you picked up the pieces of my heart before…please."

"What about-" he started.

"Don't say his name," she whispered. "Just look at me…we can keep this between us."

"I thought you loved him," he mumbled. "That's why you broke things off with me right?"

"I do love him," she answered. "But I want you. I want you now."

He had to admit that watching them grow closer and more in love over the past 3 months was pretty exhausting. He didn't know how to react to it…he didn't love her, but he did like her and it was nice to always have someone want to sleep next to you in your bed.

"I miss you," he said quietly. "I miss us."

"I miss you too Sawyer," she nodded. She put her arms around him and kissed his neck. He backed away from her and kissed her on the lips. He hadn't kissed her in 3 months, and it felt weird to be kissing her again. She tasted sweet. He backed away from her again and smirked at her.

"What have you been eating?" he asked.

"Pixie sticks," she smiled. Flavored sugar. He always thought that candy was pointless. But she tasted like orange flavored sugar and he went to taste her again. She pushed her tongue into his mouth. He tasted like cigarettes and she tasted like sugar. Sawyer decided that cigarettes and sugar was a very good mix.

"Please," she whispered. "Let's go to your room."

She stopped kissing him and lead him back through the apartment. He still wasn't completely sure about this, but he decided that he was horny and she definitely wanted him. It was just sex.

**Flashback Over**

Kate looked at him for a moment and then leaned toward him. She kissed his lips gently and crawled on top of him. He put his hands on her hips and she let out a small wince. She didn't mean for Sawyer to see it. He looked at her somewhat concerned and lifted her night shirt up. He saw the two bruises on her hips. They were now a deep shade of purple. He sighed and gently pushed her off of him. He leaned over her with one arm on either side of her.

"Freckles," he whispered. "What the hell did I do?"

"It wasn't just you," she shook her head. "I wasn't exactly gentle when I was on top."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But I don't have any bruises."

He moved down toward her hips and kissed her lightly on each bruise. He moved back up her body and looked at the nasty bruise on her collarbone again. He touched it lightly with his fingers and then kissed it. He moved back down her body and looked at some of the scrapes. He kissed the scrapes and then moved up to her mouth. He kissed her lips and looked at her.

"Shouldn't we leave the room at some point?" she whispered.

"I don't think so," he shook his head. "I wanna stay with you here all day. Just loving you. Touching you."

He touched her face and ran his hand down her body.

"We have to leave eventually Tex," she told him.

"Says who?" he asked. "I don't have a job…no strings attached to me…and you told me that you had the week off from your car accident, and judging from your performance last night, you don't need any more time to recover. Besides you said that you couldn't move."

She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her cheek and then started kissing her neck. She put her hand on the back of his neck and moaned softly as he moved his hand up and down her body.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I'm sore…and tired."

"I know you are," he nodded. "I won't hurt you. And I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

"Sawyer," she began. "I want to…believe me, I do. But why don't we just wait till tonight. Give me the day to recover and then tonight we can sit down with your book and we'll chose something to try. But for now…I'm starving."

She got out of bed and started getting dressed. Sawyer got out of the bed too and stopped her from pulling her pants on. She glared at him and he shook his head.

"Let's get into the shower before breakfast," he whispered. "I just want to be with you Kate."

"Ok," she nodded. She stood up and took him by the hand. They walked to the bathroom and finished undressing. Kate got into the shower first and Sawyer stepped in after her. He stood in front of the water, blocking it from hitting Kate. She shivered and stepped toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his chest. She could hear his heart pounding in his chest and started running her hands up his back and toward his hair.

"I think we should move out," Sawyer said into her ear.

"What?" she asked. "How?"

"Easy," he continued. "We pack up all our stuff and move out. I just don't want to live with Kyle and Jill anymore. I mean we're married…and we have roommates. It's just weird. I want to move out."

"How?" she asked again. "How are we gonna do that? I don't make enough to support us both…and you don't have a job anymore."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Rub that one in why don't you."

"That isn't what I was trying to do," she shook her head. "I don't want to fight with you. I don't want-I just mean that it's gonna be hard enough-"

"I'm gonna get another job Kate," he told her. "If you don't believe in me then I have no idea why we even got married in the first place."

"Sawyer," she began. "Because we love each other. We need each other…and of course I believe in you. And if you say that you're gonna get another job of course I believe you. I don't want to fight Sawyer."

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer hadn't gotten a job yet. When Kate would come home from work all Sawyer was interested in was having sex and trying out everything in his Kama Sutra book. Kate was constantly tired, but she always ended up giving in. Kate knew before she bought the book that it was mistake, but that night was absolutely amazing for her too. The night of his birthday was the best night of his life he had told her…and it was the best night of hers too. But now all they did was fight or have sex...sometimes it was angry fight sex. They got right back into the groove of not doing anything. Watching TV and having sex. Kate still felt like they were young and should go out. They did end up moving out of their apartment. They moved in to the apartment 3 doors down from Kyle and Jill's. Kate and Jill were still friends, and their friendship was beginning to heal from Kate finding out about Jill and Sawyer's relationship before Kate came into the picture.

Kate had just gotten home from work. Sawyer was laying on the couch. He refused to sit up and let Kate have a spot on the couch. He told her that she could sit in the chair. She sat down in the chair and only sat there for a few minutes. She got up and started toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Down to Jill's," she mumbled. "I'll see you later."

She went down the hall and knocked on the door. Jill came to the door wearing a robe. It was dark in the apartment except for a few candles that Kate could see burning.

"Hi," Kate whispered. "Am I bugging you?"

"Actually," Jill looked apologetic at her. "It's the first night in like 3 weeks that both Kyle and I are available."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Jill smiled. "We'll see you later."

"Ok," Kate whispered.

Kate decided that she was gonna go out alone. She was gonna go down to the bar and have herself a couple drinks. She went back to the apartment just to let Sawyer know that she was going to go out. If he wanted to go with her, she was completely fine with it, and even welcomed it.

"Sawyer," she said coming into the room.

"Shh!" he exclaimed. "They're about to solve the murder."

"Fine!" she yelled. "I'm going down to the bar if you care."

She slammed the apartment door hard and ran down the hall. She practically ran down the street. She was still wearing her work clothes. A knee length black skirt and a green tank top with a blazer over it. She took the blazer off as she walked and let her hair down out of the bun. Her hair was straightened, but it was beginning to curl in the humid air. When she got to the bar she tossed her blazer over the coat rack at the door and walked angerly over to the bar.

"A double shot of scotch," she said.

"Did you and your guy get into a fight?" the bartender asked. He was actually smiling. He was amused that Kate was pissed. She glared at him and when he handed her the shot she took it quickly and looked at him.

"Give me another one," she stated. He poured another one, this time not smiling and regretting saying that to her. She took it and looked around the bar. She folded her skirt up so it looked a little shorter. She didn't know what she was doing, but her anger was fueling her. She noticed someone sitting at the end of the bar with his head down and he was holding on to a bottle of liquor. She walked toward him and saw that it was Jack. She hadn't seen him in 3 and a half weeks…when she got into her car accident. She sat down next to him with her back to the bar and her elbows leaning on the bar.

"Hey," she whispered and tried a small smile.

"Kate," he said. He turned toward her and put his head on her shoulder. She was totally taken aback and the alcohol wasn't affecting her yet. She hesitated before putting her hand on his head. He was sobbing and putting his hands on her waist.

"Jack,-" she started.

"She left," he interrupted. He sat up and looked at her. "She left me Kate. She's with someone else…and she's so happy."

"You can be happy too," she said, trying to smile at him again.

"I'm sorry," he groaned and wiped his cheeks. He let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. "I'm such a mess...Can I buy you a drink?"

"I already had two," she told him. "They haven't been able to affect me yet."

"Oh well didn't you know that the magic number is 3?" he asked. She let out a chuckle this time and nodded her head. Jack ordered two more shots and handed one to her. She almost took the shot and then stopped.

"To forgetting," she said holding her glass up. He clinked his glass against hers and they both took the shot.

Over the next 30 minutes they stayed at the bar talking. A hip hop song came on the juke box. Kate and Jack chuckled as they watched the people dance with each other and grind against each other. Kate looked at Jack and smirked.

"Come on," she smiled. "It's just a dance."

She stood up and he came with her. They started dancing next to the bar. Jack couldn't dance which made Kate laugh, but he was laughing too. She put her hands on his hips and helped him dance. He stared down at her and looked at her passionately. She wasn't going to cheat on Sawyer, but it was nice to throw caution to the wind and dance with this near stranger. They danced for 4 more songs. The first 3 were fast, but the 4th one was slow. They finally made their way to the middle of the dance floor. Kate was dancing with her arms around Jack's neck. She looked over his shoulder and saw Sawyer making out with the same girl from 3 weeks ago. He was shoving his tongue down her throat and reaching his hand up her skirt. Kate looked up at Jack and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him slowly and started pushing him toward the bathrooms. She pushed him into the men's room and stopped kissing him.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. "I mean…just because Sarah left me…are you and your husband having problems too?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Just kiss me."

He kissed her and started reaching his hand up the back of her skirt. She pushed his hands away, just not ready to go that far yet. She just wanted to kiss him and hope that Sawyer would walk in. He tried reaching down her skirt this time…coming in from the top.

"Don't," she whispered. "I'm really drunk Jack."

"Come on," he said softly. "You're not that drunk…and when you're drunk you're more honest…you want me don't you?"

Kate gave a half nod and they continued to make out. They hadn't been in the bathroom for very long when the door flung opened and Jack was tossed off of Kate's lips.

"Get the fuck away from my wife!" Sawyer yelled loudly, making Kate jump and whine. "What the hell were you dong?"

"What about you!?" she yelled at him with tears coming into her eyes. She was still pretty drunk and the room started spinning. "You were shoving your tongue down that nasty bitches throat!"

"You two are practically fucking!" he yelled. "Are you trying to get your number up to what mine is? Because you have about 50 more people to go."

"Screw you!" she yelled. She left the bathroom and went running out of the bar. She took her high heels off as she ran back to the apartment. When she got there she fumbled with her keys and it took her almost 5 minutes to get into the apartment. Sawyer had caught up to her and pushed her into the apartment and shoved her against the wall. He reached past her and locked the door.

"Do you want to go fuck Jack?" he asked. "Do you want him to push himself into you and make you scream? Because he's not gonna ever make you scream like I do."

"Sawyer let me go," she whimpered. "You started it. You were making out with that skank!"

"Only because you were grinding against him," he said loudly letting her go. "I came to the bar to surprise you. I was gonna tell you that I got a job and I was gonna tell you how everything would be different…but when I got there you were all over the doc. So I took matters into my own hands. Cassidy and I went into that bathroom and she gave me the best head of my life."

Kate gasped out of disgust and shock. She reached her hand back and smacked him hard.

"I at least told him no!" she screamed. "We were just kissing!"

"You can say a lot with your mouth!" he spat back. "And you're mouth isn't nearly as luscious as Cassidy's."

"You're an asshole!" she sobbed. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Well the president of the United States says that a blow job isn't sex," he answered. "I loved every second of it. I only wished that you could have seen it, because she could give you some tips."

Kate turned toward the door and went to unlock it, only to have Sawyer slam it shut again and push her against the wall again. He kissed her roughly and reached his hand up her skirt. She was wearing underwear since she was still in her work clothes, which somewhat disappointed him. He started pulling at her underwear and she shook her head.

"Don't," she sobbed. "Get your fucking hands off of me."

"Shh," he said forcefully. "I was only half serious. You give me better head than anyone…and Cassidy didn't get to see anything. She didn't give me a blow job."

Kate didn't want to be turned on, and she didn't want to jump into his arms and kiss him passionately, but she did. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. She kissed him passionately and he walked with them through the small apartment. He walked over to the chair and set her down. She was breathing heavily and still pissed at him. He sat down on her legs, still fully clothed and she smacked him in the face. He growled at her and nipped at her neck.

"Do you want me to mark you?" he whispered slowly into her ear.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"The bruises on your hips are almost gone," he told her.

"I know," she said quietly. "Just kiss me ok? I'm sorry Sawyer. Just make love to me."

He slowly lifted her tank top up over her head. He sat back down on her legs gently and started kissing her softly and slowly. She started crying, but that only made her pull him closer. He gently reached his hand down the top of her skirt. It was pretty much the same movement that Jack had made, so she shook her head. She was still lightheaded from the alcohol. She pushed him to the floor and climbed on top of him.

She moved herself out of her skirt and put her arms around his head. He was still fully clothed so she pushed her hands up his shirt and he sat up to take it off.

"I want to be in control," he whispered. "That ok?"

She nodded and he carefully flipped her over and put her on the floor. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and pushed them down, along with his boxers. He looked down at her with a loving look. Her cheeks were damp from tears and red from being drunk. He lowered himself down on her without taking her underwear off yet. She moved underneath him and reached down to pull her panties off. He pulled back and shook his head. He kissed her softly and moved her underwear down. He took them all the way off and tossed them across the room. He rubbed against her, but didn't enter her.

"James," she whispered. "Fuck me. Please fuck me James."

"Call me Jack," he said holding her down and looking at her seriously. "Call me Jack, Kat."

"What?" she asked, giving him a look of shock.

"You're Kat," he told her. "And I'm Jack. Call me Jack. Tell _Jack _to fuck your brains out! You're pretending I'm him anyway…might as well make it official. Call me Jack."

She closed her eyes and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her for a minute and then backed away. He moved against her to arouse her further, still not going into her. He wanted to be inside her so badly, but he was going to wait to see who would crack first.

"You're so wet Kat," he whispered into her ear. "Now say my name just once and I'll fuck you babe."

She writhed underneath him. She didn't want to call him Jack, but something about this was making her so wet that she needed that release so badly. She decided that before she called him Jack, she was going to try something else first.

"I am wet," she replied. "I'm so needy for your hard cock inside of me. I need you to be in me. And you still are the biggest I've ever had. I can't call you Jack, James because you're way bigger and harder than him. I need you to fuck me. Fuck me hard."

"Say my name," he growled into her ear. "Say my name Kat. Ms. Diamond."

"James," she whispered and moved underneath him. He shook his head. "Jimmy. Jamie. Fuck me James."

He put the tip of his erection into her and then pulled back out. He kissed her hard and moved his tongue in and out of her mouth, mimicking what they both wanted him to do.

"I'll do that to you," he said out loud. "I'll fuck you Kat. Just do the one thing I asked of you."

"Fine!" she exclaimed. "Jack! Now fuck me. Fuck me Jack!"

He grinned widely and let out a chuckle. He lifted himself up over her and pushed into her hard and fast. She groaned in pleasure and he started thrusting hard into her. He started kissing her down her neck and on her chest above her breasts. She breathed faster and moved against her.

"See Kat," he said into her ear. "Was that so hard?"

"No," she groaned as he started bouncing on her. "But you are."

"Say it again," he whispered. "Call me Jack again, Kat."

She shook her head and leaned up to kiss him. She tried to flip them over, but he was holding her down. He stopped moving, but kept himself in her. He started kissing her lips and licked the roof of her mouth.

"Make me come," she moaned.

"Make you come, who?" he asked. "Say my name Kat."

"James," she said softly.

"Who?" he asked giving her a small thrust.

"Jack," she corrected herself.

"You ready to come Kat," he said, thrusting harder. She screamed loudly into his ear and he rolled off of her. They both were breathing hard. Kate wiped the sweat from her forehead and shook her head.

"Why did you do that?" she asked, turning toward him.

"I dunno," he mumbled. "But it was kind of fun."

She let out a scoff-like chuckle and nodded. He did have a point. Even though she wasn't pretending that it was Jack in the least, it was still fun to call Sawyer something other than James or Sawyer. She just wished that he hadn't chosen the name Jack.

"I wasn't pretending you were Jack," she told him. "I barely know him."

"Well Kate," he began. "If you do recall we fucked pretty hard the first night we met. We fell in love on the first night we met."

"Exactly," she said sitting up and looking down at him. "There's a huge difference between being in love and having a small attraction."

"But I'm still hotter than him right?" he asked.

"Smoldering James," she smirked. "I'm really dizzy."

"Are you still drunk?" he questioned.

"A little," she nodded. She stood up, found her shirt, and put it on as she made her way to the bathroom. She didn't bother with the underwear. She looked at herself in the mirror. She thought that she looked like a mess. Her hair was really curly and wild looking. Her cheeks were still flushed…half because of the alcohol, and partly because of the sex. She splashed water on her face and walked back to the bedroom. She laid down and Sawyer came into the room after her. He laid down next to her and ran his hands through her hair.

"I'm probably gonna have to have this conversation with you again tomorrow, but do you wanna here about the job I got?" he asked.

"Yes," she smiled up at him. "And I think I'm sober enough to remember."

"I used to work at that restaurant down the street. McKinney's? Anyway they called around looking for my number. They need a full time head waiter. They actually were looking for me…so I had to take it. I went in to the interview tonight and they hired me on the spot."

"That's awesome," Kate smiled.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I start this weekend."

"You're gonna be working weekends?" she asked.

"Well," he shrugged. "It's a job Freckles."

"I know," she whispered. "But we're never gonna see each other."

"No," he replied. "I told them that I couldn't work at nights. So we'll see each other every night. And we can start going out more. I told them that I had a wife who I couldn't stand to spend my nights away from."

"Only because you can't go one day without trying out your new book," she chuckled. "I mean look at this thing. You've had it for 3 weeks and it's already falling apart."

She lifted the book off of the bedside table and was quite right. The cover was already worn enough to almost be coming off. There were at least 10 pages doggy eared and it had some dried chocolate on it from one of their experiments.

"What can I say," he began. "I like to read."

She smiled at him and leaned against his shoulder. He continued to run his fingers through her hair and kissed her on the forehead. She fell asleep quicker than him. He fell asleep too. Kate dreamed-

_She and Jack were at the bar. His hands were all over her. He felt like Sawyer. He started kissing her and the bar became empty. She knew that it didn't make sense but she didn't care. She continued to kiss him. He lifted her up so her legs were around him. He lifted her down and put his hand up her skirt. He slipped his fingers into her. It felt so real-_

Sawyer woke up with Kate's legs wrapped around one of his legs. One of her legs was inadvertently rubbing against him and he was growing hard. She moaned in her sleep, and he knew that she was having a sex dream. _Jack_. He couldn't exactly be mad at her for moaning Jack's name. It was his own damn fault for making her scream Jack's name. She wouldn't be dreaming of Jack if Sawyer hadn't made her scream his name. He carefully rolled her over. She was naked from the waist down and he could feel that she was already wet. He pushed two fingers into her while she was sleeping. She moaned loudly and woke up.

"What are you doing?" she breathed.

"You got me all hot and bothered," he accused her. "So I was just returning the favor."

She started moving over his hand and put her own hand on top of his. He took her hand gently away and held both of her arms above her head. He pulled his fingers out of her and climbed on top of her. He pushed himself into her slowly and softly. She moaned again and got her arms away from his grasp and wrapped them around his neck.

"Harder," she whispered. He shook his head and continued to move at a very slow pace.

"I'm loving you," he told her.

"Fuck me," she said pushing up against him.

"No way," he smirked. He moved slowly and kissed her softly. She moaned underneath him, and wrapped her legs around him to try and push him to go harder, but he only moved softer.

"Harder," she said out loud. "Please Sawyer."

"Shh," he said. "We're always too fast. And watching you sleep Freckles…it made me hard. So I'm gonna do this slowly. I love you. And you need to know that."

"I do," she nodded. "I know you love me…but now fuck me."

"Kate," he whispered. He covered her mouth with his hand and moved out of her and then back in slowly. She arched her back and moaned loudly through his hand.

"Are you gonna be a good girl?" he asked. "No more bad words Kate."

She nodded and moaned again as he brought his hand down to heighten the pleasure. He moved slowly, but his hand moved fast and she came. He laid down and put most of his weight on her, and then came too.

"I want a baby," she whispered into his ear. He rolled off of her and fell back to sleep, he pretended not to hear her…and she knew that he was ignoring her.

**A/N: Please please review? That's all I really have to say in this note. Just review! :). **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Katie-You know that you give me great reviews every time. Don't even worry about being 'late' I just want to make sure you know when it's updated since this is your dedication fic. J. There were no skate moments in the first episode back. But it was a kickass episode and there were about 25 moments when I went "Aww Sawyer! I love you!" so he had a good episode.  
****Samara-If that is your real name it's so pretty. I love that name. And I wanna name my first daughter Samara Jane. Hah. Anyway thanks for the review and I'm glad that you think my story is hot haha. When you told me that it was 'quite the adventure' it made me laugh and go "oh thank you!" So thanks for the review it's greatly appreciated.  
****Supersolanea-Thanks for the review. I love angst too. This chapter is very very angsty so I hope you like it! **

When Sawyer heard Kate say that she wanted to have a baby he didn't know what to even think. He definitely didn't want to have a baby at this point. He never wanted kids, but he would have one for Kate. He would do it for her…but he still wanted to wait at least 2 or 3 years…he didn't want to stop having hot sex every night. He hoped maybe if he would ignore her she wouldn't bring up the subject again. Kate looked at Sawyer's back when he turned over and pretended not to hear her. She wanted to argue with him about it, but when he woke her up to have sex, she was sound asleep, and now she was too tired to argue with him. She always had the most vivid dreams. Ever since she was a kid. When she fell back to sleep she dreamed about having a baby only it wasn't Sawyer's…it was Jack's. She definitely didn't want a baby with Jack…she barely knew him. Every time she would think about how she barely knew Jack, she always thought about what Sawyer had said about how they barely knew each other when they fell in love too…but she couldn't see herself falling in love with a guy like Jack. Jack was in love with his career.

The next morning when Kate woke up Sawyer was snoring loudly next to her. She rolled over on top of him and began kissing him. He woke up and kissed her back. He remembered what she had said the night before, but hoped that it was just a fluke. Maybe she hadn't really meant it. Maybe she didn't mean to say it. She stopped kissing him and looked down at him.

"So did you think about what I said?" she asked.

"What did you say?" he questioned, pretending as if he had no clue what she was talking about.

"About having a baby," she answered. "I want to be a momma."

"No," he replied.

"What do you mean no?" she scoffed.

"I mean no," he shook his head. "I don't want a damn baby right now. We barely are making enough money for the two of us. How the hell are we gonna have a baby? And I don't know about you, but I don't have any health insurance yet with my job…do you have health insurance? It's damn expensive having a baby."

"You seem to know a lot about this subject Sawyer," she whispered. "Do you have a baby that I don't know about?"

"No I don't have a baby," he scoffed. "I don't want kids Kate. I've never wanted kids a day in my life. But if it will make you happy maybe…and I mean maybe…we can talk about…someday."

"Why?" she asked. "Why don't you want any kids?"

"Because," he sighed. "I will never be a good dad. I'm a shit husband."

"You're not a shit husband," she argued. "You're a great husband."

"Really," he replied. "Then how come I give you bumps and bruises? And how come I attacked you last night…and made out with that girl?"

"In answer to your first question," she began. "You give me bumps and bruises because we both like rough sex…_**both**_ of us. Second question…you didn't attack me. And you made out with that girl because you were mad at me. Just like I made out with Jack because I was mad."

"But last night I was horrible to you," he whispered. "I yelled at you. And I made you call me Jack."

"They were just words Sawyer," she sighed. "And I deserved most of it."

"It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "I still don't want to be a father. I don't…probably never will."

"Fine," she mumbled. "I'm going to take a shower…and don't follow me."

She left the room and went into the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and took her box of birth control out of the cabinet. She dumped them all into the toilet and got into the shower. She was in the shower and knew that Sawyer would follow her, especially since she told him not to. Sure enough she was only in the shower for a few minutes when she heard the door open.

"Kate," he began. "I don't want to fight with you about this. Can't we just talk about this? Wait until we've been married for a while."

He got into the shower behind her and she turned toward him. She felt guilty about flushing her birth control. She knew that it would be almost like trapping him, she had made a stupid decision to get rid of her birth control.. She knew that she shouldn't make him have a baby when he didn't want to. So she made the decision to get more birth control later that day.

"Yes," she whispered. "We can wait."

That night Sawyer was waiting for Kate to come back from work. When he got into the shower with her earlier that day he didn't know that she had gotten rid of the birth control, but later that day he saw the empty pill box. He couldn't believe that she would do that. She was gonna try to trap him. She was going to make sure that she got pregnant. He would show her. He wasn't going to stop having sex with her, but he did buy a jumbo size box of condoms. He knew that she hated to have sex with condoms and eventually she would have to go back on the pill.

When Kate got back home from work she came over and sat next to Sawyer. Sawyer looked at her and was still angry at her for trying to get herself pregnant. She looked at him with a smile and leaned over to kiss him.

"Hi," she whispered into his mouth. "Did you have a good day?"

"Sure," he nodded. "You?"

"Yeah," she replied. She kissed him again and crawled on his lap. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He started kissing her more roughly. He looked at her and smirked. He started moving over her and kissing her harder. She wanted him, but he was acting weird.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

He didn't answer and just continued to move roughly over her. He reached his hand up her skirt and put his hand on top of her underwear. He started moving his hand quickly and she moaned softly.

"Sawyer," she whispered and reached her hand toward his pants. He quickly unbuttoned them for her and shoved them down.

"What did you do today?" he whispered. He only wanted her to admit to flushing her birth control and then he was going to get off of her.

"Nothing," she groaned as he started working his hand into her underwear. "Sawyer…please. I want you inside of me."

"Ok," he said. "Just hold on."

"No," she stated forcefully. She rolled them over and shoved her underwear down with out taking her skirt off. She lifted herself over him and he shook his head.

"Not yet," he smirked. He rolled toward the bedside table and took a condom out of the drawer. "I gotta put this on first you stupid bitch."

"What?" she asked, looking down at him in awe for calling her a bitch. He rolled them back over and put the condom on himself. He shoved himself into her and growled into her ear.

"You were gonna come home and fuck me," he said into her ear. "And you were gonna purposely get pregnant."

"Get off of me!" she yelled.

"No," he whispered. "You said 30 seconds ago that you wanted me in you. Well I'm inside you Kate. But you can't feel me can you? You wish I'd take the condom off so you could get pregnant. Well that's a hell no. I bought the biggest box I could find."

"Stop," she said pushing him off of her.

"What did you do today Kate?" he asked breathing heavily in anger.

"I saw Jack," she told him. She knew before she said it that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to say, but she was going to tell him that she refilled her birth control prescription. She went to the pharmacy and Jack was there. She was going to tell Sawyer that, but he spoke before she could.

"Hmm," he nodded. "How is the ole doc?"

"He's alright," Kate nodded. "He's-"

"Did you guys make out?" he asked. "Do a little bump and grind? Did he fuck you hard Kate?"

"Shut up," she said. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"What's my problem?" he questioned. "What's your problem?"

"I don't have one," she shook her head.

"Yeah Kate," he nodded. "You do. You were going to try to trap me. You threw away your birth control. You were gonna come home and fuck me all night and get yourself pregnant. That's exactly why I bought a box of condoms…because I sure as hell don't want to stop fucking you Kate…but I don't want a damn baby. Maybe when you fucked Jack he got you pregnant…you get to be a momma. I hope so. I hope that you fucked him so much and you're so full of his fluids that you get pregnant with triplets."

"Fuck you," she scoffed and shook her head..

"No…but I hope Jack did. But hey," he shrugged. "It's alright. Once you realize that I am the best thing you've ever fucked, you're gonna wish you and Jack never had a baby together."

Kate got out of the bed and hid her face. She was trying so hard not to cry in front of him. She didn't want him to have that satisfaction. She left the room, and didn't even bother to put her underwear back on.

"I hope you don't bump into Jack in the hallway," he called. "Oh…maybe you will and then you have a greater change of getting pregnant! At least the kid won't be mine!"

By the time Kate got to the door she was sobbing almost uncontrollably. Sawyer heard he crying, and knew he had taken it too far, but it was her own fault for wanting to get pregnant without telling Sawyer about it. Sawyer stayed where he was and just laid back and relaxed. She would be back. He was sure of it. Where was she gonna go?

Kate walked down the hall and was trying to catch her breath and stop the tears when she got to Kyle and Jill's apartment. She knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Kyle came to the door. It was only 5:00 at night so she was confident that nothing was going on with them.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I just had no where else to go."

"Kate," he whispered. "What happened?"

"Sawyer," she said. "We got into a fight. Can I stay here?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Of course."

Kate came into the apartment and told Jill and Kyle what happened. Kyle wanted to go down to Kate and Sawyer's apartment and talk to him, but both Jill and Kate told him not to.

"Right now if he doesn't know why I'm upset that's his own damn problem," Kate answered. "I feel like we all haven't hung out in so long, so it'll be nice to spend some time with you guys."

Kate was able to sleep in her and Sawyer's old room. She didn't like it because he wasn't there. It had been so long since she hadn't slept next to him. Almost 6 months of them not spending one night apart. They had been married for 4 months. The more Kate thought about it the more she thought that she wasn't really ready to be a mom either. She wanted to be able to continue to have sex with Sawyer every night and when they had a baby she knew that, that wouldn't happen. She felt even more stupid now for getting mad at Sawyer. It had been very wrong of her to throw her birth control away. But then she thought about Sawyer accusing her of having sex with Jack and trying to trap him. She wasn't going to trap him, she bought a new box of birth control. She didn't have sex with Jack. Sawyer still didn't trust her which totally pissed her off.

The next day Kate went back to the apartment to get some clothes and she was going to try to make peace with Sawyer. She was going to tell him that she went back on the pill, but it didn't pan out the way that she planned. She walked into the bedroom and Sawyer was laying in the bed.

"Sawyer-" she whispered.

"Hi," he nodded. "I knew you'd be back. Told ya that Jack isn't as good of a fuck as me."

"I didn't-" she began.

"You're gonna tell me you didn't fuck him?" he asked. "Well I don't care…you still wanted to get yourself pregnant without telling me…so I think it's pretty fucked up Kate! Get the fuck out."

"Fine," she mumbled. "I hate you."

"It's not nice to lie," he replied.

"I can't believe you," she shook her head. "I didn't have sex with Jack! Goodbye Sawyer."

**2 Days Later**

Kate and Sawyer hadn't made up yet. Kate went back to make peace, but only got a door in her face. One day she got off of work and decided to go to the bar. She had gotten yelled at by her boss and he told her that she was going to be written up. It was the first time she had ever done anything wrong and she didn't even get a warning. She wanted to drink…but not get drunk. Just feel tingly and so she didn't care about being written up.

She sat at the bar and started drinking a beer. Jack was there again. She felt bad for him. He was so lonely and upset about Sarah. She knew that it was a wrong thing to do since the entire reason she wasn't with Sawyer right now was because of a similar situation, but she went over to talk to him anyway.

"Hey Kate," he smiled. "You and Sawyer ok?"

"Not really," she sighed. "We were fine till I was dumb enough to tell him I wanted a baby."

"But he didn't hurt you the other night when you got home right?"

"No," she answered. "Not at all. He would never hurt me physically. That's just not him."

"Well he did throw me against the wall when I was kissing you."

"Ok," she nodded. "I guess I'll give you that…but he would never hurt me Jack. He just wouldn't."

"If you're sure."

"I am. I gotta pee," she said. She got up and went into the bathroom. She heard the sounds of kissing and sporadic breathing coming from one of the stalls. She chuckled to herself until-

"Sawyer," the girl moaned.

"Shh," he answered. "I told ya…don't say my name."

Kate stayed quiet as she washed her hands and waited for Sawyer to say something else. She waited in the bathroom and hoped that they would come out of the stall soon so that Sawyer could see the look on her face. This time she wasn't mad, but truly hurt.

"Let's go back to your place," she whispered. "You said that your wife wasn't there."

"Yeah," he replied. "Ok."

Kate tried to blink the tears away, but the lump in her throat felt like it was choking her. The stall door opened and the girl Kate recognized as Cassidy, and Sawyer walked out.

"Real nice Sawyer," she whispered. "It's been 3 days."

She left the bathroom and walked over to Jack. She sat down on his lap and kissed him deeply. He kissed her back and ran his hand up to her face.

"Kate," he whispered.

"I moved out," she told him. "Me and Sawyer. We're not working. We didn't work. He's with someone else already. We're done. Will you come back to my place? I mean my place that I'm staying right now."

He nodded and stood up. They walked back to Jill and Kyle's apartment. Sawyer and Cassidy were already gone, so Kate only assumed that they were at her apartment. Having sex in her bed…on her couch. Jill had given Kate a key. Jill and Kyle were spending the weekend at her parents house. They were going to announce their engagement. Kate looked at Jack and smiled.

"Want something to drink?" she asked.

"Water?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. She went to the fridge and handed him a bottle of water. He took a sip of the water and Kate lunged herself at him. Her intention was to wrap her arms and legs around him, but he didn't have nearly the balance that Sawyer had and fell on the kitchen floor. She didn't seem to mind and kissed him.

"Sorry," she whispered. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," he chuckled. "How about you?"

"I want us to have sex," she told him tearing her shirt over her head.

"Wait," he said.

"No," she shook her head. She kissed him and started working on his pants. "If he can cheat…then so can I."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Are you sure you want to be doing this? It's kind of-"

"What?" she questioned. "Crazy? I don't care. I want to hurt him as much as he just hurt me. He and that girl weren't just kissing in that bathroom…and I know they're not just kissing in my bed. Revenge is the sweetest kind of sex Jack. So fuck me."

"Where?" he asked. She stood up and dragged him into her and Sawyer's old room. She laid down on the bed and he laid down on top of her. His kisses weren't as good as Sawyer's. He was a good kisser, but Sawyer was better. She closed her eyes and pretended that it was Sawyer who was laying on top of her. He moved over her. They were both still fully dressed on the bottom, but he was pushing against her.

"Yes," she whispered. "That feels so good Sawyer."

She hadn't meant to say his name, but she did. It was too late to take it back, but the miraculous thing was that Jack must not have heard her because he didn't stop. He reached his hands to the top of her pants and started pulling them down, and suddenly she realized what she was doing. She definitely didn't love Jack. She missed Sawyer.

"Wait," she said out loud. He stopped and looked down at her. "I'm sorry Jack. I can't do this. I have to go-"

"I'm actually surprised you let it go this far," he replied. She and Jack left the apartment and went their separate ways. Kate walked back to her own apartment that she shared with Sawyer. She was sick of sleeping without him laying next to her. She just hoped that she wouldn't have to start a cat fight. She opened the door and saw Sawyer standing at the sink. He was washing what she only guessed was the 3 days worth of dishes. He was only wearing his boxers.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry," she said stepping toward him and wrapping her arms around him. Before she could even hug him he brought her into a deep kiss. It had been 3 days since they had touched each other, let alone have sex.

"I didn't sleep with her Kate," he told her through the kiss.

"I didn't sleep with Jack," she responded.

"I missed your body next to mine," he whispered.

"Me too," she managed to say and they went right back into their kissing. Sawyer lowered her to the floor in the kitchen. He carefully took off her pants and underwear. He kissed her stomach, leaving a trail of his saliva on her stomach leading up to her chest. She put her hands into his hair. She pulled his head up to hers and kissed his lips. He tore her shirt off and she was almost completely naked aside from her bra. He took his boxers off and lowered Kate to the floor. She gasped and chuckled.

"The floor is cold," she told him.

"Sorry," he smiled.

"No," she shook her head. "It's ok. Sawyer…before we do this-"

"It's ok," he replied. "If you get pregnant tonight it'll be a great story to tell the kid. I mean 'hey junior, you were conceived on our kitchen floor after both your mom and I almost made the biggest mistake of our lives.'"

"Sawyer-" she started.

"I mean it Kate," he told her. "If you want a baby then-"

"No…I don't want a baby. I mean I do…eventually. What I wanted to say was that I'm sorry you thought I threw my birth control pills away. I mean I did throw them away…but that day I went to refill the prescription. I should have never tried to force you into doing something that you didn't want to do. I'm sorry…we can wait. I don't want you to ever have to not trust me. But I'm back on the pill…no chance of me getting pregnant…well I guess there's a .01…but-"

"Kate," he started.

"What?" she asked.

"Shut up," he smiled. She smiled too and he slowly pushed himself into her. She moaned softly and kissed his lips. She missed him so much. She hadn't realized that only 3 days away from him could make her want him that much more. She flipped them over and he hit his head on the cupboard next to them.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. Kate couldn't help herself but to let out a soft chuckle. She bent down and kissed his head where he hit it. She kissed him softly and then looked at him as she moved over him. He groaned and put his hand up on her body.

"Fuck me Kate," he whispered into her ear. She started grinding and moving in and out of him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her in one place. He then sat up and stood, still holding on to her. He carried her into the bedroom and as he walked she came. He tossed her on the bed gently and laid down next to her. He ran his hand across her face and through her hair.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed at him. "I almost-"

"I know," he nodded. "Me too."

**Flashback**

He went to the bar when he came back from work. He had been going to the bar the 3 nights that he was apart from Kate. He saw Cassidy each night. They danced, and they talked, but Sawyer refused to kiss her. Until the 3rd night. They were on the dance floor and Cassidy turned toward him.

"You are the best kisser I know Sawyer," she told him.

"What are you talkin' about," he chuckled.

"I'm talking about how when we kissed a week ago or whenever the hell that was…you were the best kiss I've ever had. Will you kiss me Sawyer?"

He leaned toward her and kissed her softly. They went into the bathroom a few minutes later. Sawyer wanted to kiss her in one of the stalls so that if anyone walked in on them, they wouldn't be seen. She kissed him harder and tried to move against him. He wasn't going to cheat on Kate. He knew that kissing could be considered cheating, but at that moment he didn't care. He closed his eyes and thought about Kate. Cassidy jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He started sucking on her tongue and moving his hands down her body. He heard the bathroom door open and close. He could hear someone in the other stall. He started kissing Cassidy harder. When she said his name he decided it would probably best to leave the bathroom.

When he saw that Kate was in the bathroom he could see the pain and hurt in her eyes. It was never his intention to hurt her any further, he just wanted to make himself feel better, as awful as that sounded. As she left the bathroom and pushed past them he knew how upset she must have been. She was too upset and sad to even yell at him. He almost forgot that Cassidy was there until she put her hand on his back.

"You ready to go," she whispered. They started walking out into the bar. Kate was sitting on Jack's lap kissing him hard. She was rubbing against him and not paying attention to the fact that Sawyer was watching her.

"Come on," she replied. "Forget her. She's a slut…you told me yourself."

"Don't call her that," he said turning toward her and pushing her against the wall.

"Ooh," she smirked. "I like it rough Sawyer. But just so you know…you called her a slut…you were the one who told me that she's slept with over 60 guys."

"Well I was angry," he shook his head. "She ain't a slut. But you are…and you're gonna prove it to me right?"

"Sure thing cowboy," she smirked.

"Don't call me cowboy," he told her.

"Why not?" she chuckled. "You sure sound like a cowboy."

"Just keep your mouth shut," he stated.

"Fine," she sighed. "Let's go."

She took him by the hand and they walked through the bar. They walked down the sidewalk. Sawyer didn't know what he was doing. He sure as hell didn't want to be bringing Cassidy back to his apartment. He missed Kate. He hadn't even given himself the release that he needed. He would start to move his hand over himself, but then he would think about Kate, and just wished it was her hand, so he would stop. He wanted to go back into the bar and pull Kate away from Jack, but he wasn't going to. He opened the door to the apartment and Cassidy looked at him with a sexy smile. The same sexy smile that Kate gave to him. She looked a lot like Kate, which didn't make things any easier.

"Do I turn you on?" she asked. He could tell before he even kissed her that she wasn't going to talk dirty to him like Kate did. And if she did, it wasn't going to work the way Kate made it work. He lead her into the bedroom and pushed her against the wall. She wanted to go to the bed, and Sawyer could tell that, but he didn't want to sleep with her on the bed. He pushed her against the wall and kissed her roughly. She sighed into his mouth and reached her hand to his pants. She started unbuckling his belt and he backed away.

"Look," he whispered. "Cassidy…I can't do this. I can't-I'm in love with Kate. I can't do this with you. I'm sorry. You have to go."

Cassidy left the room and Sawyer turned toward the wall and punched it hard with his fist. He walked back into the kitchen. He looked in the sink at all the dishes. He began washing them and when he heard the door open he hoped that it wasn't Cassidy coming back for more. When he heard her small voice say hi, he was ecstatic. He held in his emotions, worried about what she might do or say.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. As she came toward him, he knew that she wanted to hug him, but he wasn't going to just give her a hug. When there lips touched it was like everything was right with the world again.

**Flashback Over**

"You told that girl that I was a slut?" Kate asked, slightly shocked, but not really angry.

"I was mad," he shrugged. "She told me that her boyfriend cheated on her, so we just kind of-I dunno. I am sorry. And I did tell her not to call you that."

"Well obviously you called me that first," she told him.

"Actually darlin'," he began. "You called yourself that first."

"I wasn't going to ever sleep with Jack," she shook her head. "When I came back to the bar and I kissed him, and I didn't want to, but everything was about how mad I was. I was just so mad at you. So you promise me that it was just a kiss in the bathroom."

"Yes," he nodded. "I promise. It was only a kiss. Tell me about Jack. What did the two of you do?"

"Kiss," she answered quickly. "I promise that's all. I walked with him back to our old bedroom. It was really weird being on that bed again…let alone with someone who wasn't you. He told me that he was surprised I lasted as long as I did. I guess my kisses weren't exactly convincing."

"Well ole Jack-o is crazy," he told her. "You have the sweetest kisses I've ever tasted."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely. They were both going to have trouble sleeping. In fact neither of them did do much sleeping. They just spent the night staring at each other. Kate kept leaning toward him for soft kisses. They touched each other softly, but didn't have sex. Kate was so glad that she and Jack didn't do anything. Sawyer was right, it would have been the biggest mistake of her life.

"I'm sorry," Kate said just above a whisper. "Sawyer I'm so sorry."

"Me too babe," he replied.

He ran his hand from her face down her body. She sighed softly and leaned forward to kiss him. He put his arms around her as they kissed. They both fell asleep with their arms and legs intertwined.

**A/N: OK...the next chapter is probably going to have more fluff...not as much angst. But maybe some. Hehe. Anyway I hope you liked my chapter. Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: OK so this is gonna jump ahead a little bit. I hope you like it. It's all fluff...no angst this time.**

**3 Months Later**

Sawyer and Kate had been married for 6 months. Over the last few months Kate and Sawyer had gotten closer than ever. They didn't fight hardly at all, and spent most of their free time just being with each other. Kate didn't even mind that most of the time they stayed in the apartment. After what happened in the bar she didn't want to go back.

Kate was sitting in the apartment alone. Sawyer was late. He was never late, but tonight he was almost 3 hours late. She tried not to worry too much, but she kept wondering if he was laying in a ditch somewhere. She trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't be at a bar with any girl. After their fight about Cassidy and Jack neither of them would go back to the bar with out the other.

"Baby!" Sawyer exclaimed as he came into the apartment. He sounded weird…and he never called her baby.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Close your eyes," he said coming up behind her. He walked around the couch and sat down on her legs with one of his legs on either side of hers. He gave her a soft kiss and she opened her eyes.

"Stay right here," he whispered. "But keep those eyes closed."

"What are you doing?" she chuckled.

"Just keep your eyes closed Kate," he said. She closed her eyes again and waited for Sawyer to come back. She could hear him moving around the apartment. She opened one eye and tried to see what he was doing. He noticed and looked at her.

"Keep your eyes closed!" he exclaimed. He leaned over her and kissed her softly and gently. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Let's go into the bedroom."

She smiled widely and followed him. She figured that he had done something special in the bedroom, but when they went into the bedroom it looked the same as it always did. She looked at him and shook her head.

"What were you doing in here?" she questioned.

"Told ya," he answered. "Nothin'. I just wanted to have you close your eyes."

"Did you know that it's our 6 month anniversary today?" she asked.

"Shit!" he exclaimed. "I totally forgot! I didn't get you anything."

"You can give me the perfect gift," she told him. "Just love me."

"I got an idea," he replied. "Let's go for a drive."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "I really just want to be with you…it doesn't matter if we don't do anything special. Besides it's not like it's a year anniversary…and I didn't get you anything."

"Well you're enough," he answered. "Just trust me…let's go for a ride."

"Ok," she nodded.

They started driving and Sawyer seemed like he was on a mission. He looked like he had a destination already in mind. As they drove Kate smirked…she knew that he had to have something planned, or else why would they be driving anywhere.

"Here," he said handing her the blindfold that she and Sawyer used more and more frequently.

"What?" she chuckled.

"Well," he replied. "I know that you know how to use a blindfold Kate. Put it on."

Kate laughed again and put the blindfold on. They only drove for a few more minutes when Kate felt the car come to a stop. She waited for further instructions from Sawyer. He got out of the car and walked over to her side. He opened the door for her and took her by the hands.

"Can't I take the blindfold off yet?" she asked. "I'm gonna fall."

"Don't you trust me?" he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded. He took her by the hand and lead her up some stairs, telling her each time she should take a step up. She knew they were going into a building, but she knew it wasn't their building because it didn't smell like their building. She put her arms out to guide herself. He guided her by the arm and then let go.

"Ok," he whispered. He lifted the blindfold off of her eyes and they were standing in a hotel suite. There were red flower petals covering the floor and bed. She turned toward him and smiled widely.

"Sawyer," she said. "This is beautiful."

Sawyer looked at his watch and then back at Kate. He lead her into the bathroom.

"A hot tub," he told her pointing at their private hot tub. She smiled again and started taking off her clothes.

"Hold on there Freckles," he chuckled. "There's one more surprise, and we're both gonna wanna be fully clothed for it."

"I love you," she shook her head. "I can't believe you went to something so elaborate for a 6 month anniversary. I can't wait to see what you do for our year anniversary."

"Well," he smiled. "In a month it'll be your birthday…so you better get ready for that too."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. Their lips had barely touched when there was a knock at the door. Sawyer quickly went to the door and opened it. A man came into the room with a room service cart. There were 4 large vases on the top of the cart filled with roses and the man lifted two trays of what Kate could only assume was food onto the table.

"182 long stem red roses," the man listed. "And two specialty dinners."

"Thanks," Sawyer nodded. He tipped the man and walked over to Kate. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her toward him.

"182 roses?" Kate asked. "They're beautiful."

"But do you know what they represent?" he asked.

"Well," she smiled wider. "Now that I think of it…half of 365 is 182. So that means we've been married for approximately 182 days."

"Yep," he nodded. "And…food."

During dinner Sawyer kept looking at Kate with smiles that were making her smile right back. She pushed herself out from the table and walked over to him. She sat down on his lap and kissed him softly. He lifted her up and lead her through the rather large hotel room, toward the bathroom where the hot tub was waiting. Sawyer turned on the jets, and Kate stripped down to her underwear and got in. Sawyer left the room and came back with two glasses of champagne. He slid into the tub next to her and handed her a glass. She scooted next to him and looked at him with a smile.

"Baby," he began. "I am so lucky. You are the most gorgeous woman."

"Why do you keep calling me baby?" she asked.

"Because," he whispered. "I'm pregnant."

Kate smacked him on the shoulder and let out a chuckle. He leaned toward her and kissed her lips slowly. She lifted herself over his legs and looked at him with a small smile. He quickly brought her into an eager kiss. He took her bra off in one fluid movement, and then stood up to push his boxers off. His face was red, from the heat of the water, and from being eager. Kate climbed back on his lap and leaned toward his ear.

"Have you ever fucked in a hot tub," she whispered. She moved against him and he took a deep breath. He didn't answer her, but kissed her. She chuckled softly and backed away. "Tell me…answer me James. Have you fucked in a hot tub?"

"No," he murmured. She kissed his neck and moved back to his lips. He ran his hands down her almost naked body. Her thin underwear was the only thing keeping them apart. She moved against him, but didn't seem like she was going to take her underwear any time soon. She moaned in his ear.

"I can feel how hard you are," she whispered. "Are you sure you've never fucked in a hot tub? Don't lie to me. Have you fucked in a hot tub?"

"Yes," he whispered. "Have you?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. "I want you to tell me about fucking me. Describe it. Tell me what you're going to do to me."

"Can I do it while I describe it Freckles?" he asked.

"Ok," she replied.

"First I'm going to pull your underwear off," he told her and pulled them off. "And I know you're wet enough and ready enough for me…so I'm gonna pull you on to my throbbing cock. I need to be in you so badly."

They both moaned as he guided her on to him. She put her hands on the side of the tub behind Sawyer. He moved under her and pushed his hips against hers. She lifted off of him and pushed back down on to him. He leaned toward her and captured her lips again. She flipped them back over so she was sitting and he was leaning over her.

"Make me come," she whispered. He started moving against her again and put his hand between them. He touched her gently, but his hands were rough. Kate liked that his hands were rough and calloused. She started out moaning softly, but started getting louder as he moved and touched her. Soon she was screaming his name and she came.

Sawyer helped Kate out of the hot tub and wrapped a towel around her. He wrapped a towel around his own waist and walked with Kate back into the bedroom. Kate leaned on Sawyer as they walked. She sat down on the bed and looked up at Sawyer.

"I don't have any clothes here," she whispered. She knew before she even said it what Sawyer's reply would be.

"You don't need clothes," he replied. He guided her over to the bed and she sat down first. "But…I knew you'd be worried about that so I took the liberty to pack you a bag."

He handed her a small duffle back. She smirked and opened it up. Her white nighty was on top. She took it out and placed it on the bed next to her. The next item was the pink nighty. She looked at him and smiled.

"Both?" she asked.

"Choices Freckles," he answered. "There's more."

She looked in the bag again and saw her regular comfortable pajamas. She smiled up at him and unwrapped her towel from her body. At first it looked like she was going to lay down on the bed completely naked, but then she picked up her white nighty and put it on. She didn't bother with any underwear.

"Are you Kat tonight?" he asked.

"I'm sleepy tonight," she smiled. "Goodnight Sawyer."

She laid down and got under the covers. Sawyer got into the bed next to her and put his arms around her. He kissed the back of her neck and flipped her over.

"Are you seriously just gonna go to sleep after I did all this for you?" he asked.

"We just did it in the hot tub," she told him. "I had a long day at work and I'm tired. So yes…I'm gonna go to sleep. But tomorrow we have the day together right?"

Sawyer wrapped his arms around her again and kissed her softly.

"Ok," he whispered. "I'll just hold you then."

She smirked at him and rested her head on his shoulder. He ran his fingers down her back and up the back of the nighty. She moaned and backed away.

"Don't," she said. "Seriously Sawyer…I'm so tired."

"Ok," he replied. "I'm sorry. I'll be good."

Sawyer didn't touch her again, but just had his arms around her loosely. Kate fell asleep quickly. Sawyer smirked at the idea that if they had decided to have sex again she might have fallen asleep during the middle of it. She must have been exhausted. He should have warned her, but he wanted it to be a surprise weekend. He watched her sleep and before he knew it, he fell asleep too.

Kate dreamed about Sawyer making love to her. He was touching her with his tongue and his fingers. He made her come and then kept touching her in the same spot over and over. The pleasure was almost too much for her to bare but he just kept doing it. She woke up and was wet. She had come in her sleep, and nothing was even touching her. She had come without being touched. But now she wanted so badly for him to be awake and to do that to her. She wanted him to lick her and make her scream. He was sleeping peacefully. He wasn't even snoring. If he had been she would have woken him up, if for no other reason but to shut him up. But he wasn't. He was sleeping soundly. She was glad that she had decided to sleep with nothing on the bottom. She closed her eyes and pushed two fingers into herself.

"Yes," she whispered softly. "Lick me Sawyer."

She moved her fingers how Sawyer usually moved his tongue. She rolled over on her stomach and pushed her fingers in as far as they would go. She wanted to move slowly so she didn't wake up Sawyer. She moaned softly and continued to pretend it was Sawyer's tongue. She closed her eyes tighter and continued to move her fingers quickly. She came and sighed to herself, but she kept her fingers in her and rolled back and forth over them.

When Sawyer woke up he found Kate moving in the bed next to him. He looked at her and she was laying on her stomach with her head turned away from Sawyer. She was moving back and forth. He chuckled and leaned over her.

"Morning," he whispered. She turned over and climbed on top of him, with her back to him. He was slightly confused, but she started rubbing against him. It didn't take long for him to become excited. She continued to play with herself as she felt Sawyer grow underneath her. She kept her eyes closed and her head tossed back. She was so warm and ready for him. She wanted him to be ready for her so she started touching him too, with keeping one hand on herself and one on him. She quietly slid herself onto him and stayed sitting up as she moved on him. She was gyrating her hips in small circles, making it more intense for both of them. She started bouncing up and down quickly and he groaned loudly. Sawyer was watching all of it happen in the mirror across the room.

"Jesus Freckles," he moaned. She reached back and covered his mouth with her hand which was still covered in her wet need. He opened his mouth and she put her fingers into his mouth. He groaned again as he tasted her and came quickly. She still hadn't come, she lifted herself off of him and turned around. She slid herself back onto him. He had started to soften, but she put her hand on him hoping that he would harden again. He did and she started moving faster again. She was moaning loudly and quickly. She was sitting up and still had her eyes closed. He started moving his hand up her body and she pushed it away. She still hadn't said a word, and she still kept her eyes closed. She started bouncing on him again and finally came. She laid down on his chest and kept him inside of her.

"Good morning James," she whispered. He was left completely speechless. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to what just happened.

"Do you feel better now?" he asked with a chuckle. "I'm glad we waited till this morning Freckles."

"I don't feel better," she shook her head, while keeping it against his chest. "I want to lay here with you inside of me. I want you to fuck me."

"Freckles," he replied. "What the hell did we just do?"

"I've come twice this morning. Once without your help…actually three times if you count that I woke up so wet that I'm pretty sure I came in my sleep."

As Kate spoke Sawyer started to get excited again, but neither of them moved.

"I dreamed that you were doing some hot things to me Sawyer," she told him. "You were licking me and touching me…and you made me come in my dream. I want you to fuck me Sawyer. Did you by any chance bring your book…because I want to try something different and new. I want to fuck in the hot tub again."

"Freckles," was all he could say.

"Do you want to fuck me in the hot tub?" she asked. "Do you want to push yourself into me so hard and fast that I fall apart underneath you."

"Quit talking babe," he chuckled. She finally rolled off of him and chuckled.

"I'll meet you in the hot tub," she whispered. "Did you bring the book?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Then bring it with you."

He walked into the bathroom and slid into the hot tub next to her. She was already pleasuring herself before he got there. He remembered 6 months ago when they were waiting to see if she was pregnant and the day before she was so incredibly horny.

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "Come on!"

"I'm right here," he said. She moved over to him and sat down with her back facing him. She moved her hand down to touch him and realized that he put his boxers back on.

"Why did you get dressed?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"Well I didn't come in here to just sit in the tub Sawyer. I came here to fuck you."

She could hardly believe her own words, but they seemed to be working on Sawyer because he lifted her up off his lap so he could take his boxers off. She sat back down, keeping her back to him. She was rubbing her back against his bare chest.

"Do you want to fuck me James?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "Do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me in you?"

She moved against him and moaned softly. Sawyer started moving his hand up the front of her body. She moaned again and turned her head to kiss his lips.

"Put your fingers in me," she whispered.

"Yes ma'am," he said softly. He carefully and slowly pushed one finger into her. She sighed and moved against him. He put his thumb against her clit and moved his hand slowly. She moaned loudly and turned toward his mouth to kiss him again. She put her own finger in with Sawyer's.

"More?" he asked. "Do you want me to add a finger?"

"No," she shook her head. "I want you to fuck me right now."

"Sure," he whispered. He spun her around, placed her on the bench next to him and push himself into her all in one movement.

She wrapped her legs around him and pushed him further. They both came too quickly. Sawyer pushed the hair from Kate's face and rolled out of her. They both looked over at each other and smiled.

**A/N: Did you like? I hope you all did. Please please review!?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: An extra long chappy for you guys. It's the longest one yet. I hope that you all enjoy it. It's full of angst, some fluff...some. But mostly angst and hotness. heh.**

Over the next couple weeks Sawyer started coming home later from work. His usual work hours were from 9 in the morning till 4 or 5 at night. But lately he had been staying till 9 or 10, which didn't bother Kate much at first, but when he would come home he never wanted to do anything. Not even have sex, which bummed Kate out. Kate got home from work at saw a note sitting on the table.

_Kate-I'll be home early today so don't make any plans. XOXO Sawyer_

Kate chuckled at Sawyer's note and decided she would surprise Sawyer. She dressed up in a short black dress. She made Sawyer dinner and lit candles around the apartment. She sat down at the table and waited. It got to be 9:00 and Sawyer still wasn't home. The phone rang and she jumped up to answer it.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Hey," he answered. "Listen, I'm really sorry. Some of the guys and I decided to go for drinks. I'll be home soon. I'm just about to leave."

"Ok," she said. "I'm waiting for you. And I'm not wearing any underwear."

"Ok," he whispered. "See you in a bit."

Kate went over to the couch and sat down. She was hungry, but she still wanted to wait for him. He said he'd be home soon. She flipped through the channels on the TV. She watched the clock tick, not paying attention to the TV at all. She watched the clock for 42 minutes and 9 seconds. She was starving. She stood up and ate dinner by herself. Then she went back over to the couch and laid down. It was almost 11:00 when Kate heard the door open. She wasn't going to get up and greet him.

"Freckles?" he asked. He saw that the candles were still burning, but they were almost out. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Baby, you ok?"

"I made dinner," Kate mumbled. "It's in the fridge, but it's not gonna taste as good leftover…and you're gonna have to eat alone."

"I'm not really hungry," he shrugged. "I ate at the bar."

"Great," Kate replied. She got up off the couch and walked briskly back to the bedroom. He grumbled and followed her. He caught the door before she slammed it and looked at her.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care," she shook her head. "I got dressed up and I made you dinner. When do I ever make dinner Sawyer? I wanted tonight to be special. It's been a long time. I mean the first 6 months we had sex every single night. I had bruises on my bruises. I mean-now…when is the last time?"

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"Well I do," she answered. "It's been almost 3 weeks."

"No way," he shook his head.

"Ok, then how long Sawyer?" she asked.

"Well we can still-" he whispered stepping toward her.

"No," she scoffed. "The moment is over. Go to bed."

She stripped her dress off. She wasn't wearing a bra or underwear. She pulled her pajama pants on and put on a tank top. She got into the bed. He got into the bed next to her and put his arms around her. She scoffed at him and pushed him away.

"Come on Freckles," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You went out with your buddies," she said flipping over. "You could have been here fucking me…you blew it. Go to bed."

He flipped over and didn't touch her again. She felt him moving next to her. She heard him groan and flipped over to see what she already knew he was doing. He was laying on top of the blankets with his pants and boxers down around his ankles. He was pumping away at himself. He had his eyes wide open. When Kate flipped over he looked at her face and started pumping harder. Kate sighed and got out of the bed. She walked over to the closet and picked up the shoe box with her sex toys in it.

"I had to buy another one Sawyer…cuz you're never here," she replied. She walked out of the room with the box. She went into the bathroom and sat down on the floor. She was just as horny as Sawyer. She had relieved herself a couple times in the past 3 weeks, but most of the time she just dealt with it. She sat down on the floor and pulled out her vibrator. She had the vibrator in her hand and put it against herself. Before she could push it in it was yanked away from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked and opened her eyes.

"You don't want this," he whispered and pulled her toward him. "You want me."

She stayed quiet and pushed him away. She shook her head.

"I want to fuck you," she admitted. "But I'm too pissed off. I'd rather use my toy. So give it to me."

He sighed and handed it to her. She sat back down on the bathroom floor and spread her legs. He watched her as she pushed the vibrator into herself. She pushed it in and started moaning. He sat down across from her and started working at himself.

"Open your eyes," he said outloud. Kate opened her eyes and they watched each other as they brought themselves to climax.

The next day Sawyer was late again. It was 7:00, and Kate didn't want to wait around for him to come home. She went down to the bar. She hadn't been to the bar in over 5 months. Part of her hoped that Jack would be there and she could take comfort in him. The bartender smiled at her and handed her a shot of scotch.

"Actually just a beer tonight," she said.

"Haven't seen you in a while," he stated. "Where's your husband?"

"Work," she answered.

"Your friend is here," he told her. "He's over there."

Kate looked over and saw Jack sitting at a table, watching everyone else. He didn't look very happy. She walked over to him and sat down across the table from him.

"This seat taken?" she asked smiling at him.

"Kate," he said. "I haven't seen you in so long. Is Sawyer treating you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "We both made mistakes that night Jack. We just decided that we wouldn't come back here. We both hurt each other."

"Ok," he whispered. "If you're sure."

"Jack," she smiled. "Thank you for trying to protect me…it's sweet of you."

They spent the night talking and getting to know each other again. They were flirting innocently, but Kate could feel something else. She wasn't sure why she was feeling such an attraction to him. She figured that most of it was because she missed Sawyer. She missed what she and Sawyer used to have. Kate knew that Sawyer still loved her, but they were just not on the same page anymore. Both of them started to drink shots. Each time Kate was becoming more and more tipsy. The alcohol didn't seem to be affecting Jack at all. She looked across the table and Jack was looking like he wanted to kiss her.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Jack responded. He leaned over the table and kissed her short and sweet. She smiled at him and stood up.

"Come on," she whispered. She took him by the hand and lead him on to the dance floor. There was a slow rap song playing. There was a couple dancing next to them, that were practically having sex with their clothes on. Kate smirked at Jack and turned toward him.

"Jack," she whispered. "I haven't been touched in so long."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean," she said stepping toward him again. "I miss being touched. I miss being held and kissed."

"Do you want me to kiss you Kate?" he questioned. "Because if you do then I will…but I won't kiss you if you don't want me to."

"Bathroom," she whispered. She lead him to the bathroom and when the door closed Kate wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly and slowly. He backed away from her first and shook his head.

"Kate," he began. "You're married. And as good as it feels to kiss someone again and to hold you…I really think this is a bad idea."

"You're right," she nodded. "But I don't care. I'm drunk. I'm so incredibly horny and I'm drunk and I want to have sex. There's no chance of me having sex with my husband tonight."

"Kate," he said with a smile. "I won't take advantage of you. You're right. You're really drunk. And you would never do this if you were sober. I won't take advantage of you."

"Fuck it," she sighed. She quickly pulled her skirt up and wrapped her arms around him. She started kissing him passionately and rubbing against him. She pushed his pants down with her feet and pushed herself onto him. He was hard and thick with need and when she pushed herself onto him he moaned loudly. He spun around and pushed her against the wall. She knew as they were moving that it was wrong, but the way that he was talking about not taking advantage of her…she felt so close to him right at that moment. Not just physically but emotionally. Kate loved Sawyer so much, but Jack was there. She felt him come and she came shortly after. She jumped off of him and looked at him with a smile.

"Thank you," she whispered. She kissed him softly and pulled her skirt down. They walked out of the bathroom. Kate felt horribly guilty as soon as she walked back into the bar. She closed her eyes and wished that she hadn't just done that, but at the same time, she now felt better. She sat back down at the table and Jack followed her.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I just-shit!"

She knocked her glass of water to the floor and put her head down on the table with her arms as a pillow. Jack moved and knelt in front of her.

"Kate," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I know-this is really fucked up isn't it."

She stayed quiet but nodded. He put a hand on her back and she sat up. Her eyes were puffy and red. He shook his head and let out a small tsk.

"It's ok sweetie," he said, he placed his hand on her face.

"Please don't," she shook her head. They both sat there in silence for a few minutes longer. Kate had stopped crying and they were now talking quietly. Neither of them talked about what had just happened. He got her smiling again, which concerned her greatly, but she would have to deal with the consequences of all of this later.

"Katie?" a voice said. "Katie Austen?"

Kate turned next to her and saw a guy who she didn't recognize. He looked at her and smiled widely. Before she could move or even before she knew who it was he brought his arms around her and swung her around.

"It is you," he smiled. "It's me…John. Johnny Smith."

"Johnny?" she chuckled. "Oh my god!"

She chuckled again and wrapped her arms around him again.

"Jack this is my friend Johnny," she said turning back to Jack.

"Jack," he replied sticking his hand out for Johnny to take.

"Hi," Johnny answered. "Katie is he your husband?"

"No," she shook her head. "My husband is at work."

"I can't believe _you_ got married," he whispered. She shook her head and frowned. Jack smiled and stood up.

"I'll see you around Kate," he whispered. "I'll let you too get reacquainted.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Jack it's fine."

"I gotta go anyway," Jack replied. "I'll see you tomorrow maybe? I'll take you to dinner."

"Jack," she whispered. "Maybe I'll see you here."

"Ok," he nodded. "Sorry."

"No," she smiled. "It's ok. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow Jack. Maybe."

She sat back down and looked at Johnny who was smiling down at her. He looked different from back in their high school days. He was much more handsome now. He wasn't wearing a wedding ring. He was the one guy that Kate had never done anything with. They made out twice, and made it to second base a couple times, and third base once, but that was it. They never had a chance to take it all the way.

"It's too loud in here," Johnny said. "Do you live near by?"

"Three blocks," she chuckled. "But I don't know."

"Come on Katie!" he exclaimed. "It's me. It's Johnny boy! We gotta go back to your place and just…catch up. I dunno."

"Ok," she replied.

They walked down the street together. Johnny put his arm around Kate's shoulder. She wasn't exactly comfortable with him being that close, but for some reason she wasn't pushing him away. As they walked, she kept thinking that it was a bad idea, but part of her didn't care. They went into the apartment and Kate gave him the tour. She sat down on the couch and he followed her. She was still pretty drunk, but feeling a little better.

"Katie you look so great," he whispered.

"So do you," she smiled.

"Is this your husband?" he asked picking up a picture of her and Sawyer. She was sitting on his lap and he had his arms around her. They were both smiling widely. It was a cheesy picture, but it was one of Kate's favorite pictures of her and Sawyer.

"Yeah," she replied. "That's Sawyer."

"Kinda cute," he chuckled.

"We're adorable!" she argued. She took the picture from him and put it on the table next to her. Looking at it made her want to cry, but she held her tears back. She looked at Johnny and concentrated on seeing an old friend…not what happened in the bathroom only a half an hour ago.

"I really missed you Katie," he told her.

"Johnny," she shook her head. "We barely knew each other in high school."

"Come on!" he exclaimed. "You were at all the parties. You and Tommy were close. And you were close with all my friends."

"No," she sighed. "I was never close with any of those guys. It was only sex."

"Come to think of it we never had sex," he told her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know."

"You're gorgeous," he whispered and leaned toward her.

"John," she said pushing him away. "Please. Don't. I'm married. I love my husband."

"My wife left me," he whispered. "She took my baby with her."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"My wife!" he yelled. She jumped back and looked at him.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "My wife…she left me. She went to Ireland. And she took our child with her. I haven't seen my daughter in 4 months. I haven't spoken to her in 4 months. She's so perfect...Lyla, but I'm not-I miss my family."

"Why didn't you go with them?" Kate asked.

"She filed a restraining order," he mumbled. "She doesn't want me anywhere near them."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No," he shook his head. "Jeez Katie. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have-I'm so-I'm leaving. Ok. I'm leaving and I'll see you-well I probably won't see you. I'm sorry Katie. Good to see you."

He started leaving and Kate stood up and grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait," she whispered.

"Oh thank God!" he exclaimed. Unexpectedly he pulled her toward him and kissed her. It wasn't quick or gross. It was soft and sweet. She tried pushing him away, but he pulled her toward him further. She gave in to his kiss and walked forward. He walked backward and they landed on the couch. He sat down and she landed on top of him.

"Katie," he moaned softly. Hearing that name was weird. It made her feel like she was that 17 year old again.

"Wait," she said backing away.

"Oh," he shook his head. "Do you not go by Katie anymore?"

"It's Kate," she whispered. "And I can't do this. I'm married."

"Where is he?" he asked.

"I dunno," she said. "Work."

She got off of him and wiped her cheeks. The phone rang making both of them jump.

"Hello?" Kate asked.

"Freckles," Sawyer's voice said. "I'm not gonna be home for a while."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I'm staying till close," he answered. "So I'll be here till midnight and then we were gonna go out for a drink."

"Why don't you tell 'the guys' that you have to get home to your wife?" she asked. "After what happened last night-"

"I gotta go Kate," he interrupted. "We're really swamped. Sorry. I love you."

Before Kate could get her I love you out the was a dial tone.

"You're so hot," Johnny stated coming over to her and seeing the sad look on her face. "I don't see how your husband can ditch you for a couple of beers. I wish I would have fucked you when I had the chance."

"Johnny," she sighed. "I can't do it. I can't."

"One more kiss Kate," he whispered. She didn't say anything. She looked down at him and he knelt in front of her. He started unbuttoning her pants and she gasped loudly.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just a kiss," he said. He pulled her pants down slowly and kissed her softly on the leg. He moved his mouth over her and he licked twice before standing back up. She was so completely aroused that she couldn't take it anymore. She stepped out of her pants and underwear and lead him through the apartment to the bedroom. She sat down on the bed and looked up at him. He laid down on top of her and started kissing her all over her body. She sighed deeply and pretended it was Sawyer. He felt a lot like Sawyer only he was clean shaven. He came back up to her mouth and reached his hand between her legs.

"Wait," she whispered. "Johnny…this is wrong."

"I'm gonna fuck you Katie," he said. He pushed his pants down and put himself against her. "I'm gonna push my large cock into you. I bet I'm even bigger than that husband of yours."

He started stroking her again and she was panting. He reached his hand up her shirt and started playing with her nipples through her bra. He helped her sit up and tore her shirt off.

"Are you ready for me to fuck you?" he asked. "You're so wet so I know you are."

"Wait!" she exclaimed.

"No," he whispered. "You want this Katie. You want me to fuck your brains out. Think about how your husband should be here. He should be in bed with you, but he's not. He's gone. He's not working. You know he's not working Kate. He's at some motel fucking some gorgeous blonde. She's way prettier than you. His dick is moving in and out of someone else right now. He's screaming her name. He's fucking someone else. So you want to get even. You want me to fuck you Kate."

She listened to what he was saying…she didn't want to believe it, but a small piece of her, thought it might be true. Sawyer was late almost every night…he could be cheating on her without her knowing. She pushed those thoughts from her brain and shook her head.

"He wouldn't cheat on me," she whispered.

"No," Johnny began. "Probably not. But Katie think about it. Just picture it. Someone else underneath him. She's being fucked by him. He may be even pretending it's you. But you're Katie Austen. You're a tomcat. You love dick. You love to have sex. You had sex with Sean, and Joey, and Kevin. You had threesomes. You fucked Tommy. He's the only guy who ever loved you. He stroked you gently. He slid his cock into you so carefully.

The way he was talking and touching her was making her hot and wet, but she still didn't want to cheat on Sawyer for the second time that night. She was so scared that he was going to find out about Jack and never want to see her again. She shook her head.

"No," she said. "I don't want to do this. Please, get off of me."

"Come on," he groaned. "You're so wet right now. I need to fuck you before I explode."

"No!" she screamed. She pushed him off of her, and started leaving the bed. He quickly grabbed her, pushed her into him and trapped her with his legs. She was on top of him, but trapped with him inside of her.

"No!" she screamed again. "Let me go!"

"That's not what you want," he smirked. She was moving against him, trying to get away. "Oh yeah. Keep moving like that Katie. You're loving every second of this."

"Please," she whispered. "Let me go."

He flipped over on top of her and started thrusting. She tried to get out from underneath him, but he was holding her arms down and sitting on top of her with his legs pinning hers down. He was definitely not bigger than Sawyer, which relieved Kate. She didn't want to have to make room for him. He was rough, but not the rough she liked.

"Freckles!" Sawyer exclaimed. He was home. Kate wanted him to save her, but she wasn't sure what would happen if he saw her in this position.

"Shh!" Johnny said. "Shh Kate. He'll never forgive you."

He kissed her to stop her sobs. She bit down hard on his lip and he moaned in pain.

"Sawyer!" she cried. "Sawyer!"

"Katie," Johnny whispered. "You're the best fuck I've had in a long time."

He came and rolled off of her. Sawyer came into the room quickly. Johnny was getting out of the bed and putting his boxers back on when Sawyer came through the door.

"Thanks Kate," Johnny said with a wink.

"Get the fuck away from me!" she screamed. Her voice was raw from screaming and she wasn't able to scream very loud anymore.

"What did you do?!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Just old friends getting together again," he smiled. "Actually, tonight was a first for us. Sorry man. She's been cheating on you. I saw her at that bar down the street with that Jack guy. They were getting pretty hot and heavy in the bathroom."

"Fuck you!" she yelled as loud as she could. "Sawyer I promise no…I didn't. He raped me!"

"No I didn't," he scoffed. "You wanted me and you know it. You loved me. And your wetness proves it. Go feel for yourself...Sawyer is it?"

Sawyer looked like he was starting to believe Johnny. Kate couldn't believe it. She started sobbing and she pulled her legs up to her chest. Johnny turned toward the doorway and Sawyer tapped him on the shoulder. He turned back and Sawyer punched him hard in the face. Johnny fell to the floor and Sawyer scrambled on top of him. He punched him in the face again and again. Kate just sat in the bed, without saying anything or moving.

"Fuck you!" Sawyer yelled. "If you think for a second that you can touch my wife then you are a very stupid man. If you come near her again I will kill you. I will snap your fucking neck without flinching. Get the fuck out."

Johnny stood up and walked out of the apartment.

"Sawyer," Kate sobbed. Sawyer rushed next to her and put his arms around her. She sobbed on to his shoulder.

"God," he whispered. "Are you ok?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not ok."

"It's over," he said brushing his hand through her hair. "He won't hurt you again."

"It was my fault," she sobbed.

"No," he started. "It was not your fault. It's not your fault Kate."

"I brought him in here," she admitted. "I let him touch me…but I changed my mind."

"Did you say no?" he asked. "Did you say the words no?"

"Yes," she frowned.

"Then it's called rape Kate," he told her. "It doesn't matter who started it. I'm not happy that you wanted to kiss him, and that he was able to touch you that way, but I'm not blaming you."

Kate was now sobbing harder. She felt so guilty. She just kept thinking about what happened with Jack. They had sex. She had sex with Johnny too. Even though technically it could be called rape...she had started out ready and willing. She had never felt so awful

"I love you Kate," he whispered. "I love you. Nothing that you do will make me stop loving you."

"Even if I wanted to have sex with him," she sobbed.

"Even then," he chuckled. "I might be a little more bitter, but I can never stop loving you. I came home early to be with you."

"I can't do anything with you right now," she sniffled.

"Shh," he put his finger up to his lips. "I don't want you to have to. Of course not. I'll just hold you."

She kissed his lips and then put her arms around him.

"I need to take a shower," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Ok. I understand that. Do you want company?"

"No," she shook her head. "Please just-I'll be back in a minute."

"Ok," he whispered. "No problem."

She got into the shower and started washing herself vigorously. She felt like a horrible slut. She couldn't wash the feeling away. She wished that she could. Her skin was red and raw when she stepped out of the shower. She didn't feel like she had washed away anything.

Sawyer was sleeping next to her. She in so many words had cheated twice in one night. She couldn't watch Sawyer sleep anymore. She turned over and started crying softly. She was afraid that she might wake up Sawyer so she got up and went into the bathroom. She sat down on the side of the bathtub and put her head in her hands. Johnny had raped her, but she started off willing. She did change her mind half way through, but he hadn't actually hurt her because she was so horny for something. She stood up and looked at her face in the mirror. Her eyes were really puffy and her face was red. She turned on the water and splashed her face with water. She stopped crying, but she still didn't know what to do. She sighed deeply to herself and walked back into the bedroom.

"You ok?" Sawyer's rough sleepy voice said. She nodded, even though she didn't feel any better at all. She walked over to the bed and climbed in. He put his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Please," she whispered. "Make love to me. Love me all night. I don't want you to fuck me Sawyer. I want you to love me."

"You got it," he said quietly. He rolled over on top of her and ran his hands carefully over her body. He kissed her gently. He moved down her body. He helped her sit and took her shirt off slowly. His hands were just exploring her. He wasn't naked yet, and she was wearing her underwear, but no bra. He gave her one of the most loving looks and she felt like crying again. She stifled a sob and he took her face in his hands

"Shh," he whispered. "Don't cry honey. No more tears. That jackass won't bother you again. He's not going to touch you. I promise."

"Sawyer," she sobbed. "Me and Jack-"

"I don't want to know," he shook his head.

"We had sex," she said looking at him sadly.

"When!?" he yelled stopping his loving look.

"Tonight," she frowned. "I was just so-I missed you and I was horny. And I dunno. I just-we had sex, and as soon as we did I was so guilty. I felt so bad."

"So you decided to bring some guy back here and fuck him too!" he exclaimed.

"No," she sobbed. "I mean-I met him at the bar…we were friends in high school."

"You mean fuck buddies?" he asked.

"No!" she sobbed again. "One thing lead to another, but I wanted to stop. I wanted him to stop, and he didn't. He forced himself on me."

"Go fuck yourself," he scoffed. "Or better yet, go fuck Jack…or that guy, or the bartender."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "Please. I just-I couldn't lie to you. I had to tell you. I'm so so sorry. I can't-please tell me that this isn't over."

He stood up and started packing a bag of his own stuff.

"You know," he started. "There's this girl at the restaurant who constantly flirts with me. She thinks I'm the best thing on earth. She's offered me pretty much everything except for sex, and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to oblige…and you know what…never once have I wanted to. But now I'm starting to change my mind. Happy birthday."

He tossed a wrapped present at her and she caught it before it hit her in the face. He walked quickly through the apartment and slammed the door. Her birthday wasn't for another week, but she knew that he was just trying to get one more stab in. She opened the box and he had gotten her a sex board game. She turned it over in her hands and there was a note attached.

_There's also a trip to the sex toy shop…you can get a toy or a costume…anything that will make our love making that much better Freckles. I love you. Love J. Ford._

Kate set the box on the floor and curled herself up into a ball. She cried herself to sleep. She had never felt so awful in her life.

The next day Kate went to the restaurant where Sawyer worked. She walked toward the kitchen, everyone there knew who she was so they thought nothing of it.

"Hey Kate," Julie said, a girl who worked at the restaurant.

"Oh," Kate sighed. "Hey…have you seen Sawyer?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "He and Lucy went into the office a couple minutes ago. But he said that they were having a meeting so you can't go back there."

"Watch me," she scoffed. She walked toward the back office and knocked on the door before letting herself in. There was a woman sitting at the desk who Kate could only guess was Lucy, since she hadn't ever met her...and Sawyer had never even mentioned her.

"Sorry ma'am." Lucy said sweetly. "We're having a meeting. It's about his job."

"Do you mind very much not fucking my husband?"

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Shut up. I am so sorry Lucy. Kate was just leaving. Get the hell out of here. I'll be out in a second."

Kate left the office and stood outside to wait for him. He wasn't gone very much longer before he came out and looked at her.

"Way to go Kate," he replied. "Lucy is my boss. And thanks to your little outburst she fired me. Thanks a lot."

He pushed past her and tore off his name tag and apron.

"See ya around Julie…drinks tonight?"

"Sure," she smiled flirtatiously. Kate walked over to her and smacked her in the face.

"Stop flirting with my husband," Kate said.

"He flirts back Kate," she answered. "And earlier today we were making out in the freezer…we melted the ice."

Kate walked away and went after Sawyer. He was almost running so she had to run quicker to catch up to him. She finally caught up and took him by the arm.

"Will you wait!" she exclaimed.

"Why?" he asked. She saw that his eyes were shining from tears beginning to form. "So you can tell me who else you've had sex with? I'm sick of talking to you Kate. I want you to leave me alone."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry Sawyer. I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" he questioned. "You didn't mean to? You tripped and fell on two dicks in one night? Kate you're pathetic. So just go back to the apartment and spend your birthday alone."

"My birthday isn't for another week," she frowned.

"Well if you think that we're going to be fucking any time soon you're a bigger dumbass than I thought," he scoffed. "I'm not gonna fuck you after Jack and that other dude just had their cocks inside you. You're gonna have to wait a long time...probably never Kate."

"I thought you said you had something amazing planned for me for my birthday," she said quietly.

"That was before I found out that you're re-instating the fact that you're the school slut."

"You told me last night that nothing I could do would make you stop loving me," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I do still love you Kate. I won't stop loving you…but that doesn't mean that I have to forgive you."

"What can I do for you to forgive me?"

"At this point…aside from standing outside in the rain for 3 days straight nothing. And also…it's my apartment. So I want it…and I'm sorry, but I'm really not ready for you to be there…so come get some shit and leave."

It was raining. She stepped into the rain and looked at him.

"I'm sorry," she said, letting the rain soak her through.

"3 days, not 3 seconds," he mumbled. He pushed past her and got into his car. He drove off and left her standing in the rain. She walked back to the apartment. She looked up the building and started walking up the fire escape. She made her way to the top level where they lived and stood outside the big window. She was thankful that the curtains weren't closed. She stood outside the window and peered in. Sawyer was coming through the door. She stood outside and he walked over to the window. She smiled weakly and he closed the curtains quickly. She sat down and waited. The rain was making her shiver, but she didn't care. It had only been a few hours and Sawyer came to the door and opened it.

"You're gonna get sick," he whispered.

"I don't care," she said. "I love you so much Sawyer. I made a stupid mistake. And I know this doesn't matter to you, but I was so drunk. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. Please-"

"No," he shut the door and she put her head down on her knees.

* * *

It had been a week. Kate and Sawyer hadn't seen each other even once. She spent most of the time at the bar, but not once with Jack. She saw Jack a couple times, but she refused to sit with him. She had however told him what happened with Sawyer and he agreed that it would probably be best if they didn't see much of each other anymore. Kate spent a couple nights with Kyle and Jill. But then they found out about what Kate did and refused to let her stay with them. She really had no where else to go so she went back to her old building and was staying with her neighbor who she hadn't seen in 7 months…since she and Sawyer got married. It was her birthday. And it was pouring rain again. She always hated that stupid rhyme that went _April showers, bring May flowers._ It always seemed to rain way more in May than April. She was walking down the sidewalk in the rain. She didn't have an umbrella. Her umbrella was at her and Sawyer's apartment. She walked to the park that her mom would take her to on every birthday. She would go to the park whenever she was sad or needed to think. She knew that Sawyer was pissed at her, but part of her hoped that Sawyer would find her there.

"Katherine?" a voice asked.

"Mom?" Kate looked up and was covered by her mom's umbrella.

"What are you doing out here without a coat or an umbrella?" she asked.

"I dunno," Kate shook her head and put her hands to her face to wipe the water and tears away.

Diane noticed the glinting of Kate's diamond ring. She took Kate gently by the hand and looked at Kate.

"Are you married Katherine?" she asked.

"Yeah mom," Kate nodded. "But I ruined it all in one night. I don't think he'll ever forgive me."

"Don't be so sure Freckles," Sawyer said behind her. She whipped around and looked at him in awe. He didn't have an umbrella either. He was dripping wet and he looked somewhat cold, but he looked really sexy.

"Bye Katherine," Diane said.

"Mom," Kate began.

"No Katie," Diane shook her head. "I can't do this anymore. Please just stop. I don't want to have to call the police again. Happy birthday sweetheart."

Kate watched her mom leave and then turned toward Sawyer. He looked at her sadly and she had already started crying. He stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She sobbed on his shoulder and he rubbed her back.

"I don't believe this," he whispered. "You're the one who cheats, and here I am comforting you."

"Sawyer," she sobbed.

"I don't want-" he started. "There ain't nothing you can say that you haven't already said. I know you're sorry. I didn't-I told you that I wouldn't stop loving you and it's true. I know I should hate you. I should not forgive you. You don't deserve me-"

"I don't," she shook her head. "I don't deserve a man as wonderful as you Sawyer."

"But I love you," he whispered. "I've never been in love Kate…and I'm not gonna let one night of your huge mistake to break us up."

"I love you," she sobbed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her hard and fast. He lowered her to the ground and continued to kiss her. The rain washed over them. It was a cold rain, but their bodies heated each other up. He tore her shirt off, ripping it as he pulled it over her head. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed deeply into his mouth as he continued to suck on her lips. He bit her lips softly and carefully.

"Have you ever done it in public?" he whispered.

"No," she shook her head.

"Well that sort of surprises me," he told her. "Just so you know Kate…you're not completely off the hook. I have permission to use this against you at any time."

"Deal," she said touching his face. He moved down her body and pulled her pants off. He moved his mouth against her. The rain and mud stuck to their bodies. She tasted like rain along with her arousal. He went back up her body and kissed her mouth.

"Can I make love to you right here and now?" he asked. She nodded and he pushed into her. She moaned loudly and there was a crack of thunder at the same time. The sky lit up with lightning and there was another crack of thunder. As they moved quicker it started raining harder. Kate's moans got louder as Sawyer moved on her. He kissed her neck and moved to her lips. She screamed in passion and the thunder matched it.

He rolled off of her and took her hand in his.

"Happy birthday Freckles," he breathed. She covered herself as best as she could with the wet clothing. Part of her almost hoped that someone would see them.

**A/N: Was it good? I wanted it to end happy-ish. I hope you all approve and liked it. Please please review it up!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This chapter is kind of jumpy too…as in it jumps ahead a lot kind of. I hope you don't mind, and I hope you still like it. Katie-Yeah. I wanted to have Sawyer find out about Jack and have you sort of feel bad for both of them, but obviously feel worse for poor Sawyer.  
Supersolanea-I'm glad you thought the previous chapter was cute, angsty and hot. That's what I was going for ;).**

It had been 3 weeks since Kate and Sawyer made up. Sawyer hadn't gotten a job yet. He spent every night with Kate. They never went out. They just talked and made up. They both wanted to make everything better.

Kate had gone to the doctor earlier in the day. She thought that maybe she was pregnant, even though she was still taking birth control. The doctor told her that it would be 48 hours before they found out the results. Kate was way too scared to tell Sawyer about it. Especially since the baby could be Jack's, or Johnny's. She walked through the door of the apartment and there were candles lit all over the apartment. Sawyer handed Kate a glass of champagne and looked at her with a small smile.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hi," she smiled back.

He pulled her into a kiss and guided her to the table. He made her dinner, which never happened. Kate never cooked, but Sawyer really never cooked. They always ordered out. As they ate Kate decided that she would tell Sawyer tonight about going to the doctor. She didn't want to ruin their perfect night, but she also hated to lie to him.

They had made their way back into the bedroom after dinner. Sawyer laid down next to Kate and put his hand on her face.

"So," he began. "Did you like dinner?"

"It was delicious," she replied.

"Really?" he asked. "Do you really think it was good?"

"Yes," she smiled. "It was really good Sawyer."

"Good," he answered. "Because I'm going to Culinary Arts school."

Kate smiled widely and kissed his lips. He flipped over on top of her and started kissing her gently and slowly. She put her hands on his chest and moved down to the top of his pants. He started taking her shirt off, and she stopped him. She sat up and looked at him somewhat sadly.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Fuck," he whispered. "You weren't at work today?"

"No," she sobbed. "Sawyer, I didn't cheat again…but-I think I might be pregnant. I haven't had my period. It was supposed to come a week ago. I'm never late."

"But you're on the pill," he argued.

"I know," she nodded. "I know."

"And if you are the baby might not be mine right," he whispered. "I mean…you fucked Jack and what's his name…so the baby might not be mine."

"I know," she whispered. "That's why I-Sawyer the baby has to be yours."

"Dammit!" he exclaimed. She laid down and turned her back to him. She knew that he was going to be pissed. He probably wouldn't even want to touch her again. But much to her surprise he put his arms around her. He put his mouth to her ear.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I promise, everything is going to be ok Kate. If you're pregnant we'll handle it. I don't even want to know who the father is. We can just pretend that it didn't happen. We can pretend that I'm the father, even if I'm not."

"Are you serious?" she asked turning toward him.

"Yes," he nodded. "As long as you promise that you're never going to see Jack or Johnny ever again."

"I'm not," she shook her head. "But Sawyer…this is something that I have to know. I need to know if the baby is yours."

"Ok," he replied. "We'll find out. But I just-I'm mad, but I love you Kate. I don't love the fact that you slept with two guys in one night, but I do still love you. I just can't help myself."

"I love you too," she nodded.

The next 48 hours were the longest of Kate's life. She was sitting on the couch waiting for the doctor to call. Sawyer was sitting next to her with his hand intertwined in hers. When the phone rang Kate quickly picked it up.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Mrs. Ford?" the doctor on the other line asked.

"Yes," she said.

"This is Dr. Morena. I have the results of the blood test," he told her.

"Ok," she whispered.

"Congratulations," he replied. "You're pregnant."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I have one more quick question. Is there a way to find out who the father is? Like a blood test for the father?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," he answered.

"I mean," she began. "I had sex with 3 different men in 2 days…so I need to know who the father is."

"We only have a date of conception. May 23rd. It's really dangerous to do an actual blood test until the baby is born."

"Ok," she whispered. She hung up the phone and looked toward Sawyer. She fell against him and he put his arms around her. They laid together on the couch for what seemed like a long time, but was really only 10 minutes.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

"Kinda got that Sweetheart," he smirked. He sat up but kept his arms around her. She looked at him with a frown.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I know that you don't want kids. I don't know…I don't know what to do."

"Kate," he sighed. "It's ok. It's going to be alright. We'll have the baby in 9 months. We'll love the baby and be parents. It's going to be ok Freckles. I can promise you that."

**4 Months Later**

Kate's sexual desire had never been so strong. She constantly wanted sex. Sawyer had gone back to the restaurant where he got fired and begged for a job, while he went to school. He became an assistant chef.

Every night when he would come home from work Kate would be ready for him. They tried more positions than either of them had ever tried. But the one thing that did change was the fact that they were never rough or fast. It was always soft and sweet.

It was their anniversary and Kate was waiting for Sawyer to come home. She was just starting to show, but she did her best to hide her small belly. Kate was dressed up in a maid's costume. She heard the door open and walked to the door. He walked into the apartment with a vase of flowers.

"Hey," Kate smiled.

"Hi," he said stepping toward her. "You look sexy."

"Thanks," she replied wrapping her arms around him. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary baby," he answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Horny as hell," she whispered. He picked her up and put her on the kitchen counter. She looked at him with a smirk and he kissed her.

"You're so fucking sexy," he said. "I love you in this outfit."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I love me in it too, but it's kind of itchy. Do you mind taking it off of me?"

"Are we gonna eat first?" he asked.

"My favorite part is always dessert," she said lifting her skirt up further and wrapping her legs around him.

"Me too," he whispered.

"I want you to fuck me right here," she stated. She unwrapped her legs from him and pushed his pants down. He stepped toward her and pushed into her. She moaned loudly and kissed his lips. He pushed against her again and ran his hands down her body and up her legs.

"I want to put my mouth on you," he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded. He pulled out of her and quickly went to his knees. He didn't wait before pushing his tongue into her. He had his hands resting on either leg. Kate moaned and took his hand in hers. She moved his hand to her belly.

"The baby loves that," she whispered. Sure enough the baby was kicking. "She wants you to keep going."

Sawyer didn't really pay attention to what Kate was saying, but when she orgasmed he stood up and looked at her.

"Did you say she?" Sawyer asked.

"Just a guess," she answered. "Are you ready for dinner then?"

"Sure," he nodded.

They walked over to the table and ate a quiet dinner. Kate looked over the table at Sawyer and put her hands on her stomach.

"I want a girl," she whispered. "I want this baby to be a girl so badly."

"Me too," he nodded.

"Really?" she asked, very skeptical. "I didn't think you even wanted the baby, let alone have it be a girl."

"Well," he began. "Since you want a girl…then so do I."

After dinner Kate stood up and walked over to his side of the table. She sat down on his lap and put her arms around his neck. He pulled her toward him and kissed her deeply. She smiled through the kiss and opened her mouth wider. She stood up and pulled her dress down to cover herself. She held out her hand and Sawyer took it. They walked through the apartment and she laid back on the bed. He crawled over her and began kissing her. He kissed down her body and stopped at her belly. He kissed it softly and then put his head against her stomach.

"Hey," he whispered. "Your momma wants a girl."

She smiled and looked down at him as he spoke. He felt her looking at him and he lifted his head. He went back up her body and kissed her lips. She ran her hand down his body and looked into his eyes.

"I want to make love all night," she told him. "I'm so happy with you Sawyer. After Tom died…I never thought I could ever be happy. And now I'm in love with someone and I'm having a baby…I actually have a somewhat normal life. I never thought I'd have that."

"Well we're not exactly normal baby," he chuckled.

"Just for one night let's pretend that we are," she whispered. She rolled over on top of him and kissed him softly. She sat up on his stomach and looked down on him.

"Damn girl," he shook his head. "You are so hot. I absolutely love this outfit. Where did you get it?"

"Is that really what you want to know?" she asked. "Or are you wondering how to take it off."

"You got me," he smiled. She lifted her hands up over her head, and he lifted it off. She stopped moving and put both of her hands against her stomach.

"I'm so glad that I'm pregnant," she said. "But I'm so glad that we still have 5 more months of just us. Just you and me."

"I'm glad too," he nodded. "And you know what else I'm glad about? We haven't been rough and your bruises are all healed. And now we get to just be in love and have a relationship based on way more than just hot sex."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," she smiled. "But it's definitely a turn on."

She laid down on top of him and started kissing him slowly and gently. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. He carefully removed her bra and then worked on his pants. She lifted herself up and pushed onto him. They made soft love like they never had.

They were laying next to each other trying to catch their breaths. Sawyer looked over at her and started chuckling.

"What?" she asked.

"Let's go," he said sitting up and beginning to get dressed.

"Go where?" she asked.

"Just-trust me. I have something planned," he told her. "So get dressed."

10 minutes later they were walking down the street. She was complaining that she was tired, not just from the sex, but because of being pregnant. She was wanting to go to bed earlier and earlier as the months went on. He stopped in front of the movie theater where they met. Up on the marquee it said

_Happy Anniversary Freckles_

She chuckled at him and they walked into the movie theater. Sawyer went to buy her popcorn with extra butter. They sat down in the same seats. Half way through the movie Sawyer felt Kate's head fall onto his shoulder. She was sleeping. He smiled to himself and put his arm around her. When the movie was over Sawyer picked her up and started walking back to the apartment.

He was walking down the street and she was nearly dead weight. Normally he wouldn't have had a problem carrying her, but she had gained just about 20 pounds so far and she was also not helping at all. She thought that 20 pounds was way too much weight, but the doctor told her not to worry yet. Kate woke up while they were walking.

"I'm tired," she whispered.

"Well I'm going home hon," he told her. He almost dropped her when he saw Jack walking toward them.

"Is she alright?" Jack asked with a gasp. Kate woke up violently when she heard Jack's voice. She got out of Sawyer's arms and stood up.

"Jack," she gasped. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired."

"Holy shit," he exclaimed. "Are you pregnant? Were you even gonna tell me?"

"Why would she tell you?" Sawyer asked stepping toward him.

"I dunno," he mumbled.

"If you come near her again," Sawyer began. "I'll hunt you down and I'll kill you. She is mine. And this baby…just so you know you're not the only one she had sex with that night…but since I love her so damn much I forgave her. I don't care who's baby this is…she's gonna be calling me daddy…no one else."

"If I'm the father I think I have a right to the baby's life," Jack replied stepping toward Sawyer threateningly. "You can't keep me away from her."

"Oh yeah?" Sawyer asked. "She doesn't want to see you anyway. Has she even gone back to the bar since your night together? No…she hasn't."

"Actually for a week there after we had sex she came to the bar every night," Jack answered.

"No she didn't," Sawyer scoffed. "I'm going to call the police if you don't stay away from us."

"Sawyer," Kate sighed and finally stepped in. "Listen Jack…that night was a mistake. Sawyer's right…I want you to leave me alone."

"Well if I'm the father of your baby," Jack began. "I have every right to be in the baby's life anyway."

"How do you even know that you're a possibility?" Kate asked.

"Have either of you denied it?" he asked. "Besides…you don't look very pregnant…so you look like you're maybe 4 months along. And I counted the days since I've last seen you."

"Jack," she shook her head. "Don't. Look…I don't know what you expect from me. I love Sawyer. And I'm not going to ruin our relationship. I already almost lost him once. I won't do that to him again. You need to leave us alone. And I mean it."

"When's your next appointment?" Jack asked.

"God!" Kate exclaimed. "Don't you listen? Do you need to clean your ears out? I don't want you anywhere around us. I don't want you. You need to drop it."

"What if I am the father Kate?" he asked. "Don't you think that I have at least partial right to my child? Not to you, but I do have a right to that child...and the child has a right to know who it's real father is."

"A sperm donor isn't a father," Sawyer stated. "Kate knows that better than anyone."

Sawyer had a point in his own rude way. Kate did know all too well what the difference was between a biological dad, and a dad who was actually there for you. She never once called Wayne 'daddy'. Her daddy was Sam Austen. Her father may have been Wayne, but her daddy was Sam. But she also knew how horrible it was to find out that Sam wasn't really her father. She made a promise to herself and the baby right then and there that she wouldn't keep the information from her baby.

"Dammit," Kate whispered and closed her yes. "You're both right. Sawyer, I'm sorry…Jack's right. I mean it fucked me up so bad to find out that the man who I thought was my father for 24 years, wasn't. I don't want our baby finding out that you aren't her father when she's all alone. If Jack is the dad…she'll know it."

"Fine," he scoffed.

"But until the baby is born," Kate started. "I will go on believing that it is Sawyer's. I don't want you to come to my doctor's appointments, and I don't want you there when the baby is born. If Sawyer's not the father I will contact you and we can do a DNA test then."

"What about the third guy?" Sawyer asked. "Are you gonna try and contact him?"

"Third guy?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer chuckled. "The man from the bar raped her."

Kate looked at Sawyer somewhat gratefully. He hadn't said that it was rape since the night it happened. She thought that he would tell Jack that she fucked Johnny...that she wanted to have sex with him. Sawyer actually believed it wasn't welcomed and wanted. Jack looked at Kate in awe and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Kate," he whispered.

"It's ok," she answered. "But now…Sawyer I just really wanna go home. Is that ok? Can we go home and spend the rest of our anniversary together? I really didn't want to spend our anniversary talking about the possibility that the baby might not be yours. Let's just go home."

"Ok," he nodded. "Let's go."

He took her by the hand and they walked back to their apartment, leaving Jack standing in the middle of the sidewalk in awe. When they got back Kate went straight into the bedroom. Sawyer told her he would clean up the dishes. When he was done and went into the bedroom Kate was sleeping. She was curled up on the bed wearing her pink nighty. Sawyer smirked to himself. He laid down next to her and put his arms around her carefully, trying his best not to wake her. Kate wasn't exactly sleeping and when his arms went around her, her hands started exploring his body. She reached down between them and unbuttoned his pants.

"I want to make love once more," she whispered. "I love you Sawyer. And I feel in my heart that the baby isn't Jack's. This baby is yours. It was created out of our love…not from my stupid mistake."

He inched toward her and pushed into her. She wrapped her legs around him and he started thrusting gently. He stayed quiet, and so did Kate. Their breathing was the only noise in the room. Kate was breathing heavily and she moaned just once when she came. Sawyer came after her and stayed inside of her. Kate fell asleep quickly. Much quicker than Sawyer would have preferred, but he still stayed inside of her. She was exhausted so he just let her sleep. He was watching her sleep. He didn't want to move, because he didn't want to wake her up, and more importantly he wanted to fall asleep, staying inside her warmness. But he didn't sleep. He just watched her. She moved against him inadvertently and made him harder. She moved again, but this time Sawyer knew it was deliberate.

"Sawyer," she said out loud and opened her eyes. "Aren't you tired?"

"Not really," he shrugged.

"You watching me?" she whispered.

"Yep," he answered. "You're so gorgeous Kate."

"Thanks," she smirked. "This baby is gonna be beautiful."

"Well if she's half as gorgeous as you," he said. "This baby is going to be loved by both of us. I promise that I'll treat the baby like she's mine. I won't-"

"I know," she nodded. "I trust you."

**5 Months Later**

Kate was 9 months pregnant and huge. She had gone to the doctor at 5 months when she had gained another 5 pounds in one week. The doctors told her she was having twins. She didn't know how she was going to handle that, but Sawyer seemed excited about it. She thought it would be odd if one of the twins was Jack's and the other was Sawyer's, but she pushed the thought from her mind immediately. Both the twins were boys, which pissed Kate off. Sawyer was silently happy about it.

Kate was laying on the couch with her feet propped up on a pillow. Sawyer was massaging her feet and watching some girly chick flick that Kate wanted to watch. She looked at Sawyer and sighed.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"What darlin'?" he asked.

"I think-" she groaned softly. "No…I know. I'm going into labor."

"What?" he asked.

"I've been having these stupid stomach pains all morning," she answered. "I thought maybe it was just from the bacon and eggs that you made me…but now it's happening every 20 minutes."

"Well then we gotta get you to the hospital," he answered. "Come on."

He helped her walk down to the car and drove to the hospital quickly. He was panicking on the way to the hospital talking about how they weren't ready for the babies to come yet, and how he was going to be a horrible father if he _was _even the father. Kate tried to calm him down, but nothing she was saying seemed to be getting through to him. Every time Kate would make a noise that indicated another contraction Sawyer would ask her if she was ok.

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "I'm fine. People have babies every day. I'm just having a stupid contraction. I'll be fine."

They were at the hospital in a room. Sawyer refused to leave her side, which part of her thought was absolutely amazing and adorable, but the other part thought it was kind of annoying. He squeezed her hand as he watched the monitor and saw that another contraction was coming.

"Sawyer do you mind moving?" Kate asked. "Come over to this side of the bed. I don't want you watching the damn monitor anymore and getting me ready for another contraction."

"Sorry," he answered. He let go of her hand, only to have her grab his hand again and squeeze it tightly.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just don't leave."

"I ain't goin' no where Kate," he shook his head.

It had been a few hours of Kate pushing Sawyer away, and then telling him not to leave. He was beginning to get quite annoyed at her, but he didn't want her to know that. He got that she just didn't know what to feel.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Can you go down and get me some ice?"

"Sure," he nodded. "I'll be right back."

He left the room and Kate regretted telling him to leave because the most intense contraction yet hit her. She flipped to her side and tried to make it stop, but it didn't. As she laid there waiting for it to end she felt a hand come over hers and squeeze it.

"You're back," she whispered. She opened her eyes and saw Jack sitting in front of her. "No. You have to leave right now. Don't you get that Sawyer will kill you if you touch me again."

She flipped herself over as best she could. Jack looked at the monitors and saw that there were 3 heartbeats. Kate's and two babies. He walked to the other side of the bed so that she could look him in the face.

"Twins?" he asked. "You're having twins?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Now please leave."

Jack looked at the monitor again and saw that another contraction was going to start. He reached out and took her hand. She didn't want his comfort, but it was an intense contraction to and she squeezed his hand tightly. He brushed his hand across her forehead.

"Get the hell out!" Sawyer yelled.

"Sawyer," Jack began. "You're going to upset Kate, and right now she doesn't need that."

"Ok," Sawyer started calmly. "Kindly leave before I call security."

"What do you think they're gonna do?" Jack chuckled. "I work here…they won't kick me out of the hospital."

"Maybe not," Sawyer shook his head. "But they can tell you to leave Mrs. Ford alone. Now please leave."

"Jack please," Kate said, with tears coming into her eyes. "This is supposed to be the happiest day of me and Sawyer's marriage. Please leave."

Jack scoffed softly and left the room. Sawyer handed Kate her ice chips and sat down on the chair facing away from the monitors. He looked down at Kate and took her by the hand that wasn't holding the cup of ice.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for not making it all worse."

"I only stayed calm because of the babies," he replied. "I don't want him anywhere near us."

Kate grabbed at Sawyer's hand and let out a pained moan. He squeezed her hand hard and got into the bed next to her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm holding you," he answered. "I'm gonna give you a back and neck massage. Turn over…if you can."

She nodded and carefully flipped herself over so he could massage her back. He rubbed her lower back hard, but gently at the same time. She sighed in contentment.

They weren't there for very much longer when the doctor came in and checked her over.

"Are you guys ready to be parents?" the doctor asked. "Everything looks really good. And if everything else goes smoothly you'll be parents in less than an hour."

**1 Hour Later**

Kate had both babies. They were healthy and neither of them gave her any problems. She was back in her hospital room sleeping soundly. They decided to do the DNA test immediately. It would take 24 hours to come back from the lab. Sawyer was sitting next to Kate holding her hand. He was awake watching her sleep, and keeping watch for Jack. He refused to let Jack in the room. Since Kate was sleeping Sawyer decided to go to the nursery and see the babies. He walked there and saw that Jack was just walking away.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from my family!"

"Those babies are beautiful," Jack answered. "They look just like their mommy. And in fact they sort of look like me. Are they identical?"

"Yes," Sawyer mumbled. As soon as Sawyer had seen them he thought they looked like Kate, but then with a closer look they did sort of look like Jack too. Kate had seen them, but she was crying with happiness and she looked so content, that Sawyer didn't want to bring up the fact that they might be Jack's.

"Please," Jack began. "If they're not yours…please let me know."

"Fine," Sawyer mumbled. "But before then…please just stay away from here. I don't want you getting the idea that they're yours."

"What if they are?" Jack asked.

"Then I won't stop loving Kate," Sawyer shook his head. "But it'll change everything."

Sawyer went back to Kate's room and she was awake. She was talking to one of the nurses and looking at the Polaroid picture that Sawyer had taken of each of the babies. Sawyer sat down next to her and looked at the nurse.

"I'm gonna bring your sons so that Kate can see if she can breast feed."

The nurse left quickly and Sawyer took Kate's hand in his again. He kissed it softly and looked at her.

"They're so perfect," he whispered. "They look just like you."

"Sawyer," she sobbed and turned toward him. "They look like Jack."

"I know," he mumbled and took her face in his hands. He kissed her softly on the lips. "I know. But it's ok. We'll figure it out. And maybe…I dunno…maybe they won't look like Jack forever."

"I was so sure that they were going to be yours," she sniffled.

"They still could be Freckles," he said softly.

"What should we name them?" she asked.

"I dunno."

"I've always thought the name Xander was cute," she smirked.

"Xander?" he asked. "What the hell kind of name is that?"

"Alexander," she chuckled. "And then call him Xander."

"How would you spell it?"

"X-A-N-D-E-R," she answered.

"People are gonna think that it's X-ander," he argued.

"Fine," she scoffed. "You gotta better name."

"There's one name that I found in that baby name book you have," he answered. "Anton."

"It's cute, what does it mean?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Why do you care what it means?"

"Because I don't want to name our baby something that means something bad. But the more I think about it I love that name. Anton. We can call him Tony."

"Or Ant," he smirked.

"Or not," she said. "I mean we could not call him Ant. So how about Anton James?"

"Are you gonna cry if I say no?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered with a smile.

"Ok," he nodded. "Anton James. So Alexander?"

"Alexander Joseph?"

"How about Alexander Jack?" Sawyer asked.

"That's not fair," she frowned.

"Hey," he shrugged. "Told ya. I have a right to bring it up whenever I feel like it."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Do you not like Alexander Joseph?"

"It's fine," he nodded. "And hey. If we do Alexander Joseph we can call him A.J. instead of Xander."

"We could call Anton, A.J. then," she smirked. "Do you really hate the name Xander that much?"

"No," he smiled. "Actually…I kinda like it."

"Good," she replied. "Because I was gonna call him Xander anyway. Even if you did hate it."

"It reminds me of Buffy," he mumbled.

"As in 'the Vampire Slayer?" she asked. "That was sort of the point. I mean not really. But I first heard that in high school when that show started. I loved it. It was the best show ever. And I always loved the name Xander."

"You're so lame," he shook his head.

"Leave me alone," she whined jokingly. "I just gave birth to two babies…and they were both humungous."

"Yeah," he whispered "8 pounds a piece."

"And no drugs," she reminded him.

Sawyer spent the night at the hospital, even though technically he wasn't allowed to. He refused to leave, and then Jack of all people pulled some strings to let him stay. He slept in the bed next to Kate. Even though they weren't allowed to have sex for 6 weeks, they ended up making out.

The next morning Sawyer woke up to Kate kissing him. He murmured into her mouth and turned his head.

"You could use some gum," he told her.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed with a smile. "The doctor should be here soon to give us the results."

The nurse brought Kate's breakfast, and kicked Sawyer out of the bed. She checked all Kate's vitals, and then took her IV out.

"You're doing really well," she told her. "Especially for just giving birth to twins. They're really cute. I took more pictures for you."

She handed Kate two more Polaroid pictures and Kate looked at them. She smiled widely and looked at Sawyer.

"They have blue eyes!" she exclaimed and handed the pictures to Sawyer. Both the babies had dark blue eyes. Sawyer smiled at Kate and kissed her softly.

"Jack has brown right?" he asked. She nodded quickly. "I don't know what color Johnny's are…do you remember?"

"I can't believe you remembered his name," Kate shook her head. "His eyes are blue Sawyer."

"Well why the hell would you get my hopes all up-"

"I have the results of the paternity, of both the Ford babies."

"Well?" Kate and Sawyer both asked.

"James Ford is a perfect match," the doctor answered quickly.

**A/N: OK...so I know that was a tad OOC, but I don't care. It's my fic and I can make it OOC if I want to. :). Anyway what'd you think? Please please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Ok...so this one is semi-short compared to the other chapters, but I hope that you still like it :)...**

"_James Ford is a perfect match," the doctor answered quickly._

Kate looked at Sawyer and flung her arms around him. He felt relieved too, but he had a feeling that Kate was more excited than him. The idea of the babies being Jack's made Kate sick, and the fact that Johnny was even a possibility really pissed her off. It didn't matter now. Now she could really forget that any of it happened. The babies were Sawyer's and that's all she cared about now.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "They're yours. The babies are yours. Aren't you happy?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Of course I am. It's just-I dunno. Weird."

"All I care about right now Sawyer," she began. "Is that those babies are yours."

Sawyer nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. He kissed her softly and then backed off and hugged her.

Kate and Sawyer went home with the babies a few days later. The apartment only had one bedroom, which was pretty small. They had two of everything, but only one crib was put together because that was all that fit in the room. Sawyer really didn't want the babies sleeping in their room. Neither did Kate, but she didn't want them sleeping in the living area. Neither of them knew what to do.

For one week Sawyer took off work so he could help Kate with the babies. It had only been a week, but he was already starting to like the idea of being a dad. Especially since Kate kept mentioning that they were the men of the house. He would feel completely different about girls. He was glad that they were boys. He was sitting on the couch holding Xander. Kate was sleeping next to him, with her head next to his legs. He was holding the baby with one arm and had his other against Kate's body. Whenever either of them could get a few minutes of sleep, they took advantage of it. Xander was cooing up at Sawyer. The babies had full heads of curly brown hair and blue eyes. Xander was the happy one, but A.J never stopped crying. He wasn't happy being held, or when they put him down. They had tried everything, and the only time he was quiet was when he exhausted himself to sleep. A.J was sleeping on the floor, which was the only place that he could ever fall asleep.

There was a door that slammed on the floor beneath them and it vibrated the floor. Sawyer looked down at A.J who stirred.

"Shit," he whispered. "Please stay asleep."

A.J moved once more, but stayed asleep and Sawyer let out a sigh of relieve. He sat back and got more comfortable on the couch with Xander. Xander was wide awake, but perfectly content. It had only been a few minutes and there was a loud knock on the door. Sawyer quickly got up and went to the door. He opened it and Kyle and Jill were standing in front of him.

"Congratulations!" Jill squealed.

"Shh!" Sawyer scolded her. Xander wasn't quite ready for the loudness of Jill and he started crying. A.J heard Xander crying and he started crying too.

"Sorry," Jill said, looking truly sorry, but still smiling.

"Whoa," Kyle stated looking at the baby in Sawyer's arms. "He's so cute. He doesn't look a thing like ya buddy!"

"Yeah, thanks," Sawyer mumbled. He walked over to where A.J was laying on the floor crying. Kate had woken up and picked up the baby. Xander was already quieted down and content.

"Can I hold him?" Jill asked.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Sure."

Sawyer handed the baby to Jill and walked over to where Kate was trying to settle A.J down. Jill and Kyle came further into the apartment and sat down on the floor in front of the couch. Kate smiled weakly at both of them.

"They're so cute Kate," Jill said.

"Yeah," Kate mumbled. "When they're not screaming. Essentially I think this one hates us both."

"What are there names?" Kyle asked with a chuckle.

"Alexander and Anton," Sawyer answered. "The screamer is Anton."

Kate stood up and started walking around with A.J to get him to settle down. She was so frustrated and tired, and it had only been a week. She sighed and looked at Sawyer. He smiled at her and stood up. He took the baby from her and started rocking him gently.

"Buddy," he whispered. "What's the matter?"

"Isn't that the hottest thing you've ever seen?" Kate asked looking down at Jill.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "He's pretty damn cute."

Sawyer left the room and put the baby down in the bedroom. He walked back out and sat down on the couch with his head down. Kate put her hand on his back. She knew that he was just as exhausted as she was. Kyle and Jill stayed silent as they watched Sawyer move his head to Kate's lap.

"So the babies sleep in your room?" Kyle asked. "Are you guys insane?"

"Pretty much," Kate mumbled.

"But not anymore," Sawyer said, suddenly sitting up, and becoming more perky. "Kate…here."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. He put it in Kate's palm and smiled at her.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A key," he answered.

"A key to what?" she questioned.

"Our house," he replied. He reached over and picked up the newspaper. He flipped through the paper and came to the real estate section. He pointed to a small, but cute and nice house.

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "How are we gonna afford this?"

"Well," he began. "It's this little thing called a mortgage…you don't have to pay for the house all at once."

"I know that," she chuckled. "But we just had two babies…babies are expensive Sawyer. Life is expensive. Can we really afford this?"

"We'll make it work," he shrugged. "Besides…I think that we deserve to have our own room. In a month an a half when you're all healed I'm not gonna be able to keep my hands off of you."

"Ditto," she smiled and kissed him softly.

The next day Kate and Sawyer started moving their stuff to their house. They still had the rest of the month before they had to be completely moved, but they still wanted to get moved for the most part. Kate was sitting on the couch in the new house. Kyle and Jill were taking care of the babies. Sawyer carried a box of stuff into the kitchen and then went over to the couch. He sat down next to Kate and put his hand on her thigh.

"Hi," she whispered.

"You happy?" he asked.

"I'm very happy," she nodded. "I have the two greatest babies in the world, and an amazing husband."

"I have a hell of a hot wife," he whispered pulling her closer. He ran his hand down her body and kissed her softly. The babies were exactly one week and 3 days old. The doctor told her that she should wait at least 6 weeks before continuing with normal sexual activity. He also mentioned that because she had twins naturally she might want to wait a couple weeks longer than that. Sawyer started reaching his hand into her pants. She stopped kissing him and shook her head.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Not today."

"We got a few hours to ourselves," he said. "No crying babies, no responsibilities."

"Yeah," she nodded. "And you have a wife who is still very sore from having two, 8 pound babies pushed out of her body," she chuckled. "Sawyer I'm still sore, and we have to wait for at least 6 weeks anyway."

"OK," he sighed. "I guess we can wait. I'm just glad that we have a house. 3 bedrooms."

"So we can have one more kid," she smiled.

"No," he shook his head. "You want 3 kids…I want 1 kid…we've got 2. I think that's a good compromise."

"I don't!" she exclaimed. "I want a little girl Sawyer. Don't you want a little Kate running around here? Don't you want a little girl Sawyer?"

"Not really," he answered.

"But I want one," she argued. "So don't you too? You say that all the time."

"Well this time it's a no," he replied.

"Why?!" Kate whined. "Girls are so much better than boys!"

"Says you," he shook his head. "I know nothing about girls…well I know about big girls, but not baby girls."

"Well you were all worried about being a daddy before the boys were born," she responded. "And now…it's been less than 2 weeks and you love every second of it."

"That's not exactly true," he shook his head. "I'm not loving the diaper duty, or the fact that A.J can't stop screaming."

"I want a little baby girl," she whispered. "Name her Caroline."

"Caroline?" he asked. "Like Sweet Caroline?"

"Exactly," she chuckled. "I dunno. I just have always loved the name Caroline."

"What would you shorten it to?" he asked. "Line?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Do I have to make those decisions now?"

"Well you seem to already have made the decision that we're having a baby girl named Caroline," he argued.

"Fine," she replied. "I would call her Caroline…just Caroline…I wouldn't shorten it."

"Let's just stop talking about this," he whispered. "I've been missing my wife."

He leaned toward her and kissed her again. They laid back on the couch and Kate let him kiss her. When his hand went toward the top of her pants again she kept her lips on his, but moved his hands up her body towards her breasts instead.

"Here," she whispered. "Play with the girls."

He smiled down at her and then started laughing. He sat up and still didn't stop laughing. Kate sat up and looked at him like he was crazy.

"What?" she asked.

"That just sounded funny," he answered.

"I'll tell you what," she began. "Right now I miss my babies…I wanna go home and play with them, but tonight while we're back in our own room I'll do some playing of my own. I know you've been dying without me touching you for over a week. So I'll do anything you want."

Sawyer smiled widely and he held out his hands for her to take. She took them and he helped her stand. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Anything," he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Now lets go home to the boys."

He nodded and they walked back to the car. On the drive back to the apartment Sawyer kept reaching his hand over and grabbing at her hand. When they got home Kate and Sawyer went back up the steps laughing and being flirtatious. Sawyer pinched her ass hard and she shoved him against the wall. He gasped loudly at her sudden violence.

"You're so sexy," he whispered.

"Yeah," she began. "I know."

They were standing outside of the apartment and they could already hear the noise. The babies were crying, and Jill and Kyle were yelling, most likely at each other. Sawyer shook his head and looked at Kate pleadingly.

"Do we really have to go in there?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "We should go save them."

She opened the door and Jill and Kyle were both still yelling.

"Please A.J," Jill said quietly. "Please calm down. Please shh."

"That's not working!" Kyle yelled. "And now Xander is screaming!"

"Because you're yelling!" Jill yelled back.

"Guys," Kate said with a slight smile. "You need help."

"Please!" Jill exclaimed. She quickly handed A.J to Kate. Kate bounced him gently and he didn't seem to want to calm down. Sawyer had stepped into the apartment and took Xander from Kyle. He sat down on the floor since the couch was gone at the house. When Sawyer sat down, Xander stopped crying. Kate walked over to where Sawyer was sitting and continued to try and settle A.J down. He hadn't stopped crying.

"Thanks for watching them," Kate whispered. "How much do we owe you?"

"Kate," Jill began. "Nothing. We're friends. You just have to be my maid of honor."

"What?" Kate asked with a chuckled.

"We got engaged!" Jill exclaimed. She held out her hand and Kate looked at a diamond ring on her finger. It was a bigger diamond than Kate's, but Kate didn't think that the ring was as pretty.

"Whoa," Kate said. "It's beautiful."

"Ok," Kyle began. "Can we go? I can't stand this anymore."

"Get used to it asshole!" Jill shouted loudly and left the apartment. She slammed the door behind her making Xander start to cry again, and A.J to start crying harder. Kate sighed and knew she should go follow her friend. She put A.J into Sawyer's arms.

"I'll be right back," she whispered.

"Kate," Sawyer began to protest. "Don't leave me alone with them."

"You're their father," she shrugged. "Have a little male bonding time."

Kate quickly followed Jill. Jill wasn't in the hallway. Kate was hoping that she only went back to her apartment which was still only a couple doors down. She knocked on the apartment door and didn't get an answer. She tried the door knob, figuring that it was locked, but finding that it wasn't.

"Jill!" Kate yelled. "Jilly?"

"I'm pregnant," Jill sniffled coming toward Kate. She had 2 steady streams of tears falling down her cheeks.

"Honey," Kate whispered.

"No!" Jill exclaimed. "At least the two of you were married!"

"Jill," Kate began. "We almost ruined our whole wedding night…I woke up the night after we got married and realized that I missed 3 birth control pills in a row. It was horrible."

"But you didn't get pregnant," Jill argued.

"No," Kate shook her head.

"And Sawyer didn't ask you to get an abortion," she sobbed.

"Jill," Kate whispered and put her arms around her. "Kyle said that?"

"Not in those words," she answered, still crying. "He said that we would have to get married now, and we'd never be able to afford it, and it would all be easier if I just got rid of it."

"What an asshole," Kate said with her mouth wide open. "I can not believe he'd say that to you."

"We haven't had sex since," she mumbled. "I found out a week ago and he won't even touch me. He hasn't even kissed me. We always sleep in each other's arms, and now he won't even face me when we sleep. And he won't spoon…nothing."

"No wonder you were screaming at each other," Kate whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Sorry we upset your little guys."

"They'll recover. They'll be ok."

"But they're so little. They're only a week old."

"Honey," Kate shook her head. "They're gonna be ok…I promise."

Kate stayed with Jill for another 30 minutes, until Jill told her to leave. She wanted to be alone. She would be ok with Kate sending Kyle back to the apartment as long as he was going there to apologize.

Kate got back in her apartment and Sawyer was sitting on the floor, shaking his head. Kyle wasn't there. Kate sat down next to Sawyer and put her hand on his back.

"He's an asshole," Kate said.

"She got pregnant Kate," Sawyer shook his head. "Purposely."

"What are you talking about?" Kate sighed.

"When Kyle found out that she was pregnant he asked how," he replied. "They've been using 2 different kinds of protection. Jill is on the pill, and Kyle wears a condom…every single time."

"So?" she asked. "Shit happens. The only form of birth control that is 100 percent effective is not having sex at all, or getting snipped."

"Well," he began. "Seems that Jill poked holes in his condom, and she hasn't been taking her birth control."

"How the hell does Kyle know that?" Kate scoffed.

"Because Jill confessed," he answered. "According to Kyle, Jill confessed. Remember a month and a half ago when we went to their place to have dinner. And you had just gone to the doctor and you brought the sonogram to their place to show them the babies? She was jealous of us having two babies. She said that she wanted babies of her own and Kyle said not till they get married. Jill asked him to get married so they could have a baby. When he refused and said he wasn't ready for that she sabotaged their birth control methods."

Kate sighed and dialed Jill's cell phone number. It rang 3 times and on the 4th ring Kyle picked up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Kyle?" Kate said. "Can I talk to Jill?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "She's right here."

"Jill?" Kate asked. "Did you really? You didn't really did you? Get pregnant on purpose?"

"I wanted a baby," Jill whispered. "I wanted a baby so badly. I would do anything. I told Kyle I would do anything for a baby…and he didn't believe me…till now. I only did what you did."

"What?" Kate asked.

"Well you didn't take your birth control, and that's how you ended up with the babies," Jill told her.

"No," Kate answered. "That isn't what happened. I was still on my birth control when I got pregnant. Me and Sawyer didn't plan it. And I certainly didn't get pregnant on purpose. We were gonna wait at least 2 years so that we could have a marriage before kids."

"I fucked this up Kate," she sobbed. "Kyle will never forgive me."

"Of course he will," Kate reassured her. "As soon as he hears that baby's heart beat, he will melt into a puddle and he'll be excited."

Kate hung up the phone and shook her head. She rested her head against Sawyer's shoulder. He brought his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I didn't trap you. I took my birth control every day, on time every day. I didn't get pregnant on purpose."

"I know baby," he replied, giving her another kiss on the forehead. "But even if you did...it's a little late now."

"Yeah," she nodded and lifted her head up. "But I just want you to know...I didn't get pregnant on purpose. I need you to believe me."

"I believe you Freckles," he answered. "I believe you. I promise."

"Good," she repleid.

**A/N: So? I hope you all liked it. Pleaase please review!!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: OK…This chapter is mostly fluff…but some angst at the end. I hope all of you enjoy it.**

That night Kate and Sawyer were sitting on the couch. They were each holding a baby. Sawyer was holding A.J who had finally fallen asleep. Sawyer started standing up carefully so that he could put the baby in his room.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "Don't."

"Well you told me that you would do anything tonight…well my fantasy doesn't include sitting on the couch for hours with babies."

"As soon as you put him down he's gonna wake up and we're gonna have to start over," she said.

"Hush your mouth," he replied. Xander looked up at Kate and started crying. His cry wasn't very loud, but it was loud enough to wake up A.J. Kate chuckled softly and stood up with the baby. She carried him into the bedroom and Sawyer followed. Sawyer got to the rocking chair first and sat down before Kate could get there.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"Hey yourself," he said. "You've got the quiet one."

Kate rocked Xander gently and sure enough he went back to sleep quickly. Kate lifted Xander into the crib and he slept. Kate looked down at A.J who was crying and not looking like he was going to stop any time soon. Kate took the baby from Sawyer and held him closely. She sighed deeply and started bouncing softly. Sawyer stood up and took the baby back.

"I say," he began. "We just let him cry for a little bit."

"I hate hearing him cry," she argued. "He's only a week old."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But we should just let him cry just this once. If he doesn't quiet down within 30 minutes we'll come back in here."

"30?" Kate asked. "No way. 5."

"15," he argued.

"10," she stated.

"Ok," he whispered. "10 minutes."

They left the room together and Sawyer shut the door. A.J continued to cry and Kate turned back to go back into the room.

"10 minutes Kate," he whispered. "He'd be crying anyway right?"

"Ok," she sighed. Sawyer quickly scooped Kate up into his arms and slung her over his shoulder. She squealed and he carried her into the bedroom. He threw her down on the bed and crawled on top of her. He kissed her deeply and looked down at her.

"I don't think we're gonna be doing much," she started. "What can we do in 10 minutes?"

"Plenty," he smirked. "Besides, maybe in 10 minutes he'll stop crying."

"I can't stand to hear him cry," she whispered.

"Kate, he always cries. When does he not cry?" Sawyer asked. "He's the most unhappy baby I've ever seen."

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Maybe-shh. Listen."

"What?" he asked.

"Shh!" she exclaimed. She turned the baby monitor up and there was silence. She looked at Sawyer and he chuckled.

"I told you," he smirked. "We let him cry, and he settled down. He's fine."

"Ok," she whispered. "You were right. Letting him just cry was the right thing to do. I should have had more faith. It just kills me when our baby is crying."

"I know," he nodded. "It's hard to hear him crying…but I really don't want to talk about the babies right now."

"I guess I did promise to give you anything you want. So what would you like me to do to you Mr. Ford?" she asked rolling on top of him.

"I want you to fuck me," he whispered.

"Well," she chuckled. "As tempting as that is…you know that I'm not gonna give in to that. I'm gonna do some naughty things to you, but having sex isn't one of them. Sorry Cowboy…but I will make you moan."

She reached her hand down into his pants and started touching him gently. He groaned softly and nipped at her neck. She leaned toward him and kissed him. He reached his hand up the back of her shirt and groaned again when she started moving her hand faster.

"Take your shirt off," he whispered.

"Why?" she chuckled, taking her hand off of him.

"Because I want to touch your nipples," he whispered quietly. He touched her breasts over the shirt and felt that her nipples were already hard. Kate sat up and took her shirt off. She put her arms around him and started kissing him again, without touching him.

"What are you waiting for?" he whispered.

"I don't know what you mean," she said quietly.

"I mean," he started. "You said you were going to do anything I wanted…and I want your hand on me."

"What about my mouth?" she asked. "I'm just getting ready."

She started unbuttoning his pants and looked at him in the eyes. He eagerly started helping her and pushed his pants down. She moved over him and started touching his chest and body. They started kissing again and Kate could feel that Sawyer was very hard. She moved down his body and was almost to the top of his boxers when Xander started crying. He was crying really hard and loud. Kate looked up at Sawyer and moved back up his body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Stay right here. I'll be right back ok?"

She put her shirt on, quickly got out of bed and ran out of the room. She went to the twins room and Xander was crying hard. A.J was sleeping, but he wasn't waking up from Xander's crying, which totally freaked Kate out. She quickly went over to A.J to make sure he was still breathing. She put her hand on his stomach and it was rising and falling softly. She went over to Xander's crib and picked him up.

"Oh my baby," she whispered. "What's the matter?"

He stopped crying as soon as Kate picked him up and started talking. He fell back to sleep quickly, and Kate let out a very soft chuckle. She put him back down into the crib and he woke up again and started crying again.

"Xand," Kate began. "You're the quiet one. What is the matter my sweet boy?"

Kate sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking gently. She looked at the door and wished that she was in bed with Sawyer instead of taking care of the baby. She was already loving being a mommy, but she did want to be with Sawyer alone. She was glad that Sawyer had bought the house and they had their own room, but she had a feeling that they weren't going to be doing much else tonight. Xander went back to sleep and Kate put him in his crib. This time he stayed asleep and Kate headed back to the bedroom.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she got into bed next to Sawyer. He placed an arm around her and gave her soft kisses on the cheeks and neck. She looked at him and shook her head.

"I'm still ready for you Freckles," he whispered. Kate chuckled and moved back down his body. She wasn't exactly completely in the mood anymore, but she had promised him. She touched him with her hand first. He licked his lips and looked at her.

"Put your mouth on me," he said softly. "Before I come all over your hand."

She lowered herself down teased him with her tongue. He let out a short breath and she moved her mouth completely over him. He wrapped his hand in her hair and when he came she moved back up his body. She rested her head on his shoulder and breathed in deep.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he replied holding her tighter.

**7 Weeks Later**

Sawyer and Kate both talked to Jill and Kyle about their problem with Jill being pregnant. Jill apologized for what happened and Kyle ended up forgiving her after a couple more weeks of fighting. Sawyer told Kyle that he needed to step it up, and even though it wasn't planned, he still needed to step up and be the daddy. Kate loved the fact that Sawyer wanted Kyle to be a man and be the father.

Kyle and Jill started coming over all the time so that they could help with the babies, and see their friends. The 4 of them became best friends again. Kate spent most of her days alone with the babies, until Sawyer could come home and helped her. She was going absolutely insane. She started writing a book to pass the time. It was a fictional novel about a single mother. Kate refused to let Sawyer read it until it was completely finished, but she told him the premise.

"I'm glad that you're finding something to do with your days Freckles," Sawyer sighed. "But is the book about our family?"

"No," she answered quickly. "Of course not. It's just an idea that I had. You help me all the time. And plus you make all the money. This woman in my book is completely broke because her asshole boyfriend left her and emptied her bank accounts before he left. Don't worry honey…it's not about us."

"What's the main character's name?"

"I dunno yet," she shrugged. "I have to come up with one."

"Ok," he nodded. "So…when are we gonna be able to have sex again?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow…I'll ask then."

Kate had gone to the doctor several times to make sure that everything was ok with herself, and with the babies. They were already 2 months old. A.J had stopped crying so much, but Xander was still a happier baby. When Kate went to the doctor 6 weeks after the babies were born they told her that she should probably wait another 2 weeks, maybe even longer than that. She was upset, but not nearly as upset as Sawyer. They still hadn't had an entire night by themselves since the babies were born. Kate didn't really want to be away from them, but Sawyer was ready for a break.

When Sawyer got home from work Kate wasn't there. She left a note telling him that she'd be home soon, but she didn't specify where she was. He sat down on the couch with a bottle of beer and waited for Kate to return. This time he was almost wishing that the babies were there so he would have something to do. One of his favorite things to do was to read to the babies. Kate thought it was so cute watching him read to the twins.

"Sawyer," Kate said opening the door. Sawyer stood up and walked toward the door to help her with the babies. When he got there she was standing in her corset with no babies in sight. He smiled at her and stepped eagerly toward her.

"Hi," he whispered. "What's up?"

"Well," she began. "Jill and Kyle are taking the babies for the night. And we get to have the entire night to ourselves."

"Did you go to the doctor today?"

"I'm allowed," she replied. "And he said that we could be as rough as I wanted."

"You asked your doc about rough sex?" he asked.

"Well," she began. "If we want to have rough sex, I figured it would be a good idea to ask my doctor if that was ok. I don't want to ruin myself forever and make it so we have to wait even longer."

Sawyer didn't wait any longer before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her hungrily. He lifted her off the ground and carried her though the house. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her hands down his back. He got to their room and tossed her onto the bed. He started crawling on top of her, but Kate stopped him and tore his shirt off. He ran his fingertips on the tops of her boobs where they were pushing out of the top of the corset.

"Do you want me to fuck you," he whispered.

"Yes," she moaned. He pulled her underwear off and watched her move under him. She was having a hard time breathing from the corset, but every time Sawyer went to untie it she would shake her head. He continued to kiss her and move his hands over the corset, even though Kate couldn't feel it. She was naked on the bottom, but he wasn't. She kept reaching for his pants but he wanted to anticipate it for a little while longer.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked. "Can you handle it?"

"Sawyer," she began. "If I can give birth to two, 8 pound babies, I can handle anything. Now please…please."

"No," he shook his head. He teased her with his fingers, not penetrating her yet. He played with her clit and she moaned loudly.

"Please," she said loudly. "Put your fingers in me."

"Since you asked nicely," he whispered. He pushed one finger into her and she writhed underneath him. She shook her head, so he stopped and pulled his finger out of her.

"No," she moaned. "Two."

Sawyer chuckled softly and went back to pleasuring her. He refused to put two fingers into her quite yet because he knew how wild it was driving her. He continued to caress her breasts with one hand while the other was teasing her. She rolled them over so she was on top of him.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "If you won't do it right…I'm gonna have to do it myself."

"Be my guest Freckles," he replied. "You'll never be able to make yourself climax as fast as I can."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I'll know if you're faking it babe."

"Ok," she whispered. "Watch me."

She continued to sit on him as she moved her fingers into herself. Her movements were making herself pant, but also making Sawyer very hard. She closed her eyes and continued to masturbate. He reached out once to touch her and she smacked his hand away teasingly. He leaned up and kissed her belly, where the corset was riding up and their was now skin showing.

"You have one hell of a body, considering you just gave birth 2 months ago."

"I worked hard," she replied. "I wanted to be your hot wife still. Now shut up…I'm about to come."

He closed his mouth tightly and watched her intently as she rocked her hips on her hand. She shuddered and laid down on top of him. He brought his arms around her and began kissing her.

"You gonna take this corset off any time soon?" he asked.

"No," she whispered. "I'm gonna fuck you first. I know you haven't come yet."

She reached at his pants and unbuttoned them. She pushed them down to his ankles. He kicked them off the rest of the way. His growing erection was poking through his boxers. She carefully pulled them off too and lifted herself over him. She hovered there for a moment pushing herself onto him only a little bit at a time and then lifting back off of him.

"I missed fucking you," she whispered. She lowered herself quick and fast onto him and before she could move against him he came. She chuckled softly and rolled off of him. He put his arms around her and pulled her toward him again. Her back was to his front. He ran his hand down her body, which was still covered by her corset. Sawyer pushed her forward just enough so he could loosen the corset. He pulled it off of her and then pulled her back toward him. Their naked bodies stayed spooned against each other.

Both of them fell asleep quickly. They were both planning on staying awake much later so they could be with each other, but since neither of them had gotten much sleep in the 2 months since the babies were born. Kate woke up and looked at the clock. It was midnight. She felt Sawyer move behind her. He was still against her and still had his arm around her. She didn't flip toward him, but she did start rubbing her back against him to wake him up. Sawyer responded physically, but he didn't seem to be awake yet. She smirked to herself and reached her hand behind her to touch him softly.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled into her ear.

"What does it feel like to you?" she asked continuing to touch him.

"It feels like I need to be somewhere wet and warm," he whispered. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Holy shit Sawyer," she moaned. "Usually it's me who's doing the dirty talking."

"Well," he whispered. "Are you wet enough for me to slide into you? Because I'm just gonna do it here and now. Kate, do you want me in you?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Fuck me Sawyer."

He pushed himself into her and lifted her hips to push further in. He groaned loudly into her ear which only made her pant louder.

"You're so wet," he began. "I love how you feel. I want to fuck you till you scream. Do you know how wet you feel. Here."

He took her hand in his and had her touch where he was entering her. She moaned loudly and he started rubbing her clit hard.

"Come for me," he whispered. It didn't take much for her to be pushed over the edge completely. She flipped herself over and wrapped her arms around him. He stroked her hair gently and their breaths returned to normal.

"I'm so glad that the babies aren't here," he chuckled.

"Me too," she nodded. "I mean…I miss them-"

"You miss them?" he asked. "How the hell can you miss them?"

"Because they're my babies," she chuckled. "I love them."

"Well Kate," he began. "I love them too. You know that…but it's nice to be without them for a night."

"Yeah," she whispered. "You're right."

The next morning Kate woke up to Sawyer shaking her gently. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He brushed his hand over her face and smiled down at her.

"Come on," he said quietly.

"Come on where?" she mumbled.

"To the shower," he answered matter-of-factly. "We've got exactly 4 more hours till our babies come home."

"Ok," she whispered. "Give me a second."

"Nope," he shook his head and took her by the hands. He pulled her into a standing position and picked her up. He flung her over his shoulder and carried her into the bathroom. He set her down in the shower. The water was way colder than Kate expected and she gasped loudly.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I guess I didn't turn the water up."

He stepped into the shower with her and turned the water warmer. Sawyer started brushing his hands through Kate's hair. She chuckled and did the same to his hair. They started washing each other, both of them becoming aroused, but neither of them doing anything about it. Finally after they were all washed, Kate jumped up and wrapped her legs around Sawyer's waist. He ran his hands down her body and pushed her onto him. She kissed him to stop her moan from being too loud.

"There ain't no one here Kate," he told her. "We don't have to be quiet."

"But I thought you liked it when I came quietly," she said with a groan. He pulled her up with his strong arms and then slammed her back down. He came first and then she came, being much louder than either of them expected.

**1 and a half Months Later**

Sawyer came home from work. He heard one of the babies crying, he figured it was probably A.J, but was somewhat surprised to see Xander crying. Both the babies were laying on the floor in the living room. He bent down and picked up Xander. He normally he would have sat down on the couch with the baby, but since Kate was no where to be seen he decided to go find her.

"Hey Freckles!" he exclaimed. "Where are you?!"

There was no answer. He went down the hallway and saw that the bathroom door was opened partially. He pushed it open with his foot and saw Kate sitting on the floor of the bathroom with her head down on her knees. She lifted her head up and Sawyer saw that she was crying. He didn't notice the 5 different pregnancy tests sitting on the side of the sink. He knelt down in front of her and took her face in his hands.

"Sawyer," she sobbed.

"What happened honey," he whispered. She silently pointed to the pregnancy tests on the sink. He handed Xander to Kate and picked up the five different tests. They were all different brands, but they all said the same thing. Pregnant.

"Remember," she whispered. "Our weekend to ourselves? Well I wasn't on the pill because of breast feeding…and I didn't think about condoms or any other protection, so I-Sawyer I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'll take care of it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"I'm talking about-" she began.

"Don't even think about it," he interrupted. "Kate you are not getting rid of this baby."

"You mean it?" she asked softly.

"Yes," he nodded and kissed her softly.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! And if any of you feel the need to discuss the episode from tonight/last night/ep. 4x10, you should totally PM me. Anyway please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

They were laying in bed together. Neither of them were sleeping. Kate was still pretty upset about being pregnant. Sawyer didn't really get why. She was the one who said she wanted to have one more kid. She wanted another kid, so she should be happy about it. He was running his hand down her back and down the back of her leg, then back up her body. Usually when he touched her that way, being so gentle, she always looked content, but this time she didn't. She looked very worried.

"Freckles," he started. "What's the matter? Why are you so upset?"

"What do you mean?" she asked. "This is like the worst possible thing that could have happened to me right now…I mean to us."

"Why is it so horrible?" he asked. "Kate it's a baby…I don't get why you're-is it mine?"

"Yes," she answered quickly. "Yes of course it's yours. I just-we were just getting into a routine. We were starting to have really hot sex again, and now…I mean…it just changes things. And plus Xander and A.J are only 3 months old. We're gonna have 3 babies under the age of 1. What will people think?"

"Fuck people Kate," he shook his head. "I'm not exactly ecstatic over this either, but we'll deal. All I know is that you're gonna have the baby, and we'll have the 3 kids you want."

"I can't believe how you're acting," she whispered. "How did you get to be so amazing?"

"Because I am," he said with a smile that melted her heart. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly. She rolled over on top of him and started kissing him deeper. She pulled her shirt off and tossed it across the room. He chuckled up at her and waited for her to make the next move. She laid down on him and rested her head on his chest. She could feel his heart beating fast, and hers was beating just as fast. She lifted her head off of his chest and smiled at him.

"You're heart is beating really fast," she whispered. "I want us to have sex…right now…are you ready for me?"

"Hell yeah sweet cheeks," he answered. She rolled off of him and looked at him with a smile. He carefully rolled on top of her and started moving against her gently.

"I want you to put your mouth on me," she told him.

"Kate," he groaned.

"Will you put your mouth on me?" she asked.

"What's the magic word?" he questioned.

"Magic word?" she began. "The magic word is if you don't put your mouth on me I won't return the favor."

"Works for me," he answered. He started pulled her pants down, along with her underwear. He blew softly on her skin and she let out a sharp breath. She knew that he would eventually touch her, but the anticipation was making it worse. She breathed in deeply and looked at the ceiling.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Just hold your little horses," he said, without raising his head. His breath was hot and making Kate writhe underneath him. He chuckled and let his laugh tease her more. He kissed her softly on each of her legs and finally put his mouth on her. She let out a low, throaty moan. He put his hand on her tummy and started moving his tongue in to her. She moaned again but this time it was loud. She came quickly, but he just kept going. She started breathing heavily and he stopped and moved up her body. He kissed her softly and slowly and she moaned again into his mouth.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

"Fuck me Sawyer," she said. "Please."

"Ok," he nodded. He pushed his boxers down and slowly pushed himself into her. She flipped them over and ground against him hard.

"What are you doing," he stated, with a groan.

"I'm having sex with you," she answered. "I'm impaling myself on your huge cock. You still have the biggest I've ever seen. I was scared the first time…I thought it would hurt, but you made me so wet that it felt so good."

"You feel good," he whispered and closed his eyes. Kate knew that he was close, but she was closer. She looked down at him.

"Open your eyes," she said. She leaned over him and moved slowly. He opened his eyes and they looked into each other's eyes as they came. Kate collapsed on him and ran her hands down his body. He hugged her tightly and rolled them over.

"Sawyer," she began. "Do you really think we can do this?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Because we don't have another choice. And maybe you'll get a baby girl."

She leaned against his chest and sighed contentedly. He kissed the top of her head and put his hands on her stomach.

"What do you want to name her?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," she said with a smile. "What if it's a boy? I mean…we don't even know if it's a girl Sawyer."

"I do," he nodded. "You're gonna get the little girl that you want."

Over the next several months Kate and Jill hung out together a lot. They went shopping for maternity clothes and talked about what it was like to be pregnant. Sawyer and Kate were drifting a part somewhat. They still had sex almost every night, but it was just for sex, no other reason. Kate spent most of her time home alone with the babies. Sawyer hadn't been there the first time that A.J had said 'dada'. Kate called him at work so that he could hear it over the phone, but he was too busy to come to the phone. He was supposed to come home early that day, but he ended up coming home after the babies were asleep. Kate told him that A.J said 'dada' and he wasn't as excited as Kate wanted him to be.

Kate went to the doctor for her monthly check up. She was sitting in the waiting room with the babies and a 5 month pregnant belly. The looks she was getting were beginning to really piss her off. Sawyer came to her appointments with her a lot of the time, and he would always say things that would make her laugh or smile so she wasn't as upset, but this time he was at work. She was reading her book and trying to ignore the stares she was getting.

"How far along are you?" a familiar voice said. She turned toward him, and saw Jack sitting next to her. She shook her head and looked down at the sleeping babies.

"5 months," she mumbled and put her hand on her belly.

"How long did you wait before having sex with him?" Jack asked.

"That is none of your damn business," she scoffed. Xander started crying and Kate bent down to pick him up. When she picked him up he stopped crying almost immediately. Jack chuckled and reached out to touch him. Kate turned her body, protectively.

"Kate," he began. "I wouldn't hurt him."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I just-I'm 5 months pregnant…I have two, 8 month old babies. I just-everything is a mess."

"Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" a woman passing by asked. Kate sighed to herself and wanted more than anything for Sawyer to be there with her. Just as she hoped for him to come, he ran through the door.

"Have you seen the doctor yet?" he breathed and knelt in front of her.

"No," she shook her head and smiled at him. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I should have-I'm not going to work as much anymore. You need me…all of you."

He put both of his hands on her belly and kissed her softly. He looked around the room and noticed that almost everyone in the room was watching them. He sat down next to her and took her by the hand.

"You know why they're staring don't you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head a smiled.

"Because we're both so sexy and hot. They just can't look away."

Kate smiled widely and they waited together for the doctor to call her. Jack left the doctor's office and quickly walked away. Kate told him that she would go in the examination room alone and he could stay out in the waiting room with the babies. Sawyer didn't feel like he was waiting very long when Kate came down the hallway.

"Ok," she said shortly. "Let's go."

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I just wanna get the boys home. Let's go please."

On the ride home Kate didn't talk. Sawyer kept looking at her, but he didn't say anything. He knew that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong until she was ready. When they got home Kate took both of the baby carriers and walked up the steps to the house. She set the babies down and tried to unlock the door. She didn't seem to be able to get the door opened. She was pushing into the door and finally it popped opened and she went toppling into the house. She put her hands down to catch her fall, and then scrambled into a standing position and went into the house without the babies. Sawyer sighed softly and picked up the two carriers.

"It's ok boys," Sawyer began. "You're momma's just a little cuckoo right now."

He went into the house and Kate was sitting on the couch already flipping through the channels on the TV. He sat down next to her and looked at her. He waited until she noticed him before saying anything. He knew that she noticed him, but she was refusing to say anything. He sighed and shook his head.

"I'll tell you later Sawyer," she mumbled. "Just let me process it."

"Please just tell me that everything is ok," he whispered. "I don't care that you're not telling me what's wrong, but just tell me they found a heartbeat."

"Everything is fine," she sighed. She stood up and went into the bedroom and shut the door. Sawyer would have followed her, but he also heard the door lock and knew it would be pointless to try and talk to her right then.

He made dinner for the two of them. Kate had to admit that Sawyer was one of the best cooks that she'd ever met. But she wasn't coming from very much experience eating homemade food. Most of the time her mom ordered out because she was working so much. And Wayne wouldn't even make her a peanut butter sandwich when she was little. But Sawyer was an excellent cook. He didn't even have to use a cookbook. In fact he refused to use a cookbook. He thought measuring ingredients was for people that didn't have taste buds. Kate bought him a cookbook when he first started going to culinary school and he used it as a hot plate.

Kate could smell the bacon and eggs cooking. One of her favorite things to eat was breakfast for dinner. He made it at least once a week, but she still didn't get sick of it. She smiled to herself as she rolled over in bed. She was being completely ridiculous. Sawyer loved her and he only wanted to support her. She opened the door and walked down the hall. She heard Sawyer talking in the kitchen and wondered who he was talking to. She stood in the doorway and saw him cooking, but looking back every so often at the babies who were sill in the carriers, which he put on the kitchen table.

"So," he continued. "I said 'you gotta be kidding me…my own restaurant?' and my boss says 'Yeah James…I am kidding you…good to know you can take a joke.'"

There was silence except for the sizzling of the bacon. Sawyer turned around, still not noticing Kate in the doorway. He walked toward the babies and shook his head.

"Come on guys!" he exclaimed "That was funny. Ok. Fine. When you're older maybe you'll understand."

Kate smiled and stepped into the kitchen, putting her arms around him. She kissed him on the back of the neck and gave him a squeeze.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he said turning around. "Just spending some quality time with my boys."

"Well," she whispered. "I hope you don't mind adding another one."

"What?" he asked.

"The doctor told me I was having a boy," she answered. "I'm sorry I was so distant and I didn't tell you earlier. I just-I really wanted this to be a girl. I have a house full of boys."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But you're the best mommy in the world."

"I know," she replied, and then realized how conceited it sounded. "I mean…I know that I'm a good mother…I just-I really wanted a baby girl."

He rolled his eyes and stepped toward her. He kissed her on the lips, and moved her through the kitchen to the table. He pushed her gently into a chair and knelt in front of her.

"Ok," he whispered.

"Ok what?" she chuckled.

"When this little guy is born…we can try for a daughter," he answered. "I know how much you want it."

"But Sawyer," she shook her head. "You only wanted one kid…and now we're gonna have 3."

"No," he argued. "We're gonna have 4. Just like you want."

"I don't want you to resent me," she frowned.

"Baby I could never ever resent you," he stated. "It's not like you got pregnant on purpose…either time. I mean we have 3 kids that were unplanned."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess I really can't be too upset at those people down at the clinic who think I don't know what birth control is."

"Well Xander and A.J are birth control babies," he responded. "That wasn't our fault. We were using precautions."

"Yeah…I know."

The phone rang, which woke up A.J and he started crying. Sawyer went to answer the phone and Kate picked up the baby. She held him closely and whispered into his ear. He quieted down much faster than Kate had ever seen. She looked at Sawyer who nodded and hung up the phone.

"Don't get mad," he said.

"What?" she asked, slightly concerned, but mostly wondering who was on the phone.

"Jill had her baby," he answered. "And you know how they didn't want to know what they were having?"

"She had a girl," Kate said with a nod. "How's she doing? Jill I mean."

"Well," he replied. "She's doing ok. Kyle said that she's freaking out

The next day Kate went to visit Jill in the hospital. She left a little now that the baby is here and it's real."

"I hope she knows that I'll be here for her forever," Kate answered. "I don't want her to think that just because I'm not having the girl that I wanted doesn't mean that I'm not happy for her. Jill wanted a girl too. She doesn't want boys ever."

"Well then it's a good thing she didn't have a boy," he chuckled. "You can't really exchange babies."

"Logan," she said quietly. "I want to name him Logan."

"I like it," he stated standing back up and serving to plates of food. Kate moved the babies to the floor and they started eating dinner.the babies at home with a babysitter, so she could pay attention to Jill and her baby. She walked down the hallway and found Jill's room. Jill and Kyle were both there. They were both sleeping. Kyle was sleeping in the chair next to Jill's bed. Jill stirred and woke up.

"Hey," she whispered and smiled. Kate smiled back and sat down next to the bed.

"Hey," Kate chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," she answered with another smile. "I'm so good."

Kate sat down on the other side of her and they talked quietly for a while. Kyle woke up and went down to the nursery with Kate to see the baby. Kate couldn't stop smiling and thinking about her own baby. Even though she was scared to have 3 babies, she was getting very excited for her new baby to come. She went back to Jill's room to say goodbye.

"What are you gonna name her?" Kate asked quietly before she left.

"I was thinking about the name Tasha," Jill said. "But Kyle hates it."

"I didn't say I hated it," Kyle argued. "I just think we can come up with something better."

"I gotta go home," Kate smiled. "Congratulations Jill…she's so pretty. Maybe she and Logan can be best friends."

"Logan?" Jill asked.

"That's what we're gonna name him," she answered putting her hand on her stomach.

"You're having a boy?" she asked quietly. "I'm sorry Kate."

"I'm not," Kate shook her head. "I mean…yesterday I was kinda pissed, but Sawyer just told me that we could try to have a daughter."

"Whoa," Kyle chuckled. "Sawyer wants to have another baby?"

"Not exactly," she smiled. "I want a baby girl, and Sawyer said we could try for a girl because I want one."

"Like that won't make him resent you," Kyle scoffed.

"Kyle!" Jill exclaimed. "Shut up."

"It's ok," Kate shook her head. "I said that too, but he told me he wouldn't. He was talking to the babies last night…it was so cute. He's such a good dad. But I gotta get going."

That night Kate was laying in bed with her head resting on Sawyer's chest. She was sleeping and he was watching her. The baby monitor went off, and Sawyer carefully got out of the bed, trying not to wake up Kate. He quickly went into the babies' room without bothering to turn off the baby monitor. He went into the room and noticed that Xander was the one who was crying. Sawyer picked him up and he stopped crying.

"Dada," he said quietly.

"Yeah yeah," Sawyer mumbled. "It's dada…is that all you can say? I mean you're mommy would sure love it if you could say momma."

"Mama," he whispered softly. Sawyer looked at him and smiled widely. He started to go toward the door and Kate appeared at the door and smiled widely.

"I heard it," she said with tears in her eyes. "He just said momma."

"Yes he did," Sawyer chuckled. "Look at the smile on mommy's face Xand."

Kate took the baby from Sawyer and kissed him on the head. Sawyer stepped toward them and wrapped his arms around both of them. She lifted Xander into the crib and wrapped her arms around Sawyer. He lifted her up and carried her back to the bedroom. He put her gently on the bed and crawled over on top of her, without putting any weight on her.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he responded.

**2 Months Later**

Sawyer was at work, and Kate was home with the babies. She was 7 months pregnant and Logan wasn't happy. He wouldn't stop moving around, which was starting to annoy Kate. She started having contractions, but she thought maybe it was just false labor, so she didn't want to worry about it, unless they got worse, or more frequent. She didn't want to call Sawyer unless something drastic happened.. As she sat there her water broke. Now she had to go to the hospital. She tried calling Sawyer, but each time it just rang and rang with no answer. She was calling the restaurant so she thought it was kind of weird. She called the babysitter, and called herself a cab to take her to the hospital. She told them 5 times to call Sawyer and they hadn't yet. She looked into the hallway and saw Jack standing outside of her room. She rolled her eyes. She really wished that he would just leave her alone. He always seemed to come at the times when it was supposed to be special for just her and Sawyer.

"Kate?" Jack asked. "Are you ok?"

"I'm scared," she answered honestly. "But other than that I'm ok. It's just too early. I can't have the baby right now. It's way too soon."

"Where's Sawyer?" he questioned.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "Please leave me alone."

"Do you want me to call him for you?" he asked.

"No," she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked. "Kate I just want to help. I'm not trying to pry in to your personal life…I just-I want to help. Please let me help."

"Ok," she nodded. Jack left her and didn't come back. She was progressing a lot quicker than her first pregnancy. The nurse came in and checked on Kate.

"Kate, your contractions are right on top of each other. We have to get the baby out now," she told her.

"What?" Kate asked. "No…no. My husband isn't here. I need my husband. I don't want to do this without him. And it's way too soon. He's supposed to stay in me for 2 more months."

"It's really not that early Kate," she told her. "I mean it's early, but there are babies who are born way earlier and still make it."

"What about my husband," she sniffled. "I don't want to do this without Sawyer."

"You might have to," the nurse answered. "I'm gonna come back in a few minutes. If your husband isn't back in 15, we'll have to do it without him."

Sawyer had gotten the message from Jack and tried to leave work as soon as he could, but he had to do a few things before he could leave. And then as he drove he got into a horrible traffic jam. There was an accident on the highway and it was backed up for miles.

Kate was being wheeled into the delivery room. She kept protesting. She really didn't want Sawyer to miss the birth of their baby. He would never forgive himself. The doctors kept telling her to push, and finally she had to listen. She only pushed a couple times before the doctor told her that the head was out.

"One more big push Kate," the doctor stated. Kate nodded and started pushing, while the nurse counted down. The nurse was a male voice, and the more Kate thought about it, the more it sounded like Sawyer. He was squeezing her hand tightly, much tighter than the nurse was holding it before. She looked over at him and saw his blue eyes shining back at her. The baby started screaming and Kate was crying too.

"How did you-" she began, but couldn't get the rest of her words out.

"I snuck in," he whispered. "You didn't even notice it did you."

"I was a little busy," she smiled.

"It's a boy," the doctor told them.

"Oh really?" Sawyer asked. "Man Kate…that nurse told us we were going to have a girl…should we sue?"

"Nah," she shook her head and the doctor let out a deep breath. "But what are we gonna name him. We already had our girl name picked out. What the hell are we gonna do?"

"How about Logan Thomas?" Sawyer asked.

"Thomas," she smiled. "I like it. After Tom?"

"I was just thinking of names that would go with Logan babe…I wasn't thinking of your childhood sweetheart," he chuckled.

"I like it."

"You knew," the doctor finally figured it out.

**2 Months Later**

Logan was able to come home after being at the hospital for only a month. He was small, but he was strong and he recovered quickly. Everyone knew that the only reason why he came so early was because he was ready to be in the world.

It was the twins' first birthday. Kate and Sawyer were sitting at the table, and each had a baby on their laps. Kyle and Jill were there too, to celebrate. There was so much commotion that night because all the babies were all crying at one point or another. The one thing that concerned Kate was that all Logan did was sleep. He slept more than Xander or A.J ever did. Sawyer told her not to worry, because the doctors told her it was normal, but she still couldn't help but worry about it. Kyle and Jill ended up staying way later than anticipated and it was 12:00 midnight before they left.

Sawyer and Kate headed to the bedroom. Kate kissed him as they walked. They landed on the bed and Kate chuckled softly.

"The babies are sleeping," she whispered. "All 3 of them."

"And the doc gave you the go ahead," he smiled widely.

"And we bought a box of condoms," she reminded him.

"Well that's important," he nodded. He kissed her softly and slowly. Kate ran her hands down his body toward his pants. He stopped and looked down at her.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I don't want to wait," she shook her head. "I want to fuck you right now…so you better get that box of condoms ready."

He quickly moved her pants off and then pushed his own down. He sat on her as he fumbled with the box of condoms. She chuckled up at him and took the box.

"Even though I want to do this right now," she began. "You don't have to be so nervous and quick. She handed him the condom and he pushed it on to himself, and then pushed into her slowly. She closed her eyes and wrapped her legs around him. Kate gasped loudly and pushed Sawyer up.

"Wait," she moaned. "S-stop."

"Why?" he asked pushing into her further.

"Because I'm pretty sure the condom just broke," she answered.

**A/N: Do you like? Do you hate? I hope you enjoyed it. I would love feedback.**


	19. Chapter 19

-1He quickly rolled off of her and grumbled loudly. Kate stood up and ran into the bathroom. She turned the shower on and stepped in side. She started washing her body and stayed in there for 45 minutes before she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Freckles," Sawyer said out loud, but very quietly. He pushed the shower curtain back and saw Kate sitting on the shower floor with her knees brought up to her chest. She was sobbing almost uncontrollably. Sawyer was wearing nothing except for his boxers. He leaned into the shower and turned the water off. He picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. She sobbed into his neck. He took the towel off the back of the door and wrapped her in it. She was still crying when he put her into bed. He went to the dresser and got her favorite pajamas and a pair of underwear.

"Come on," he whispered. "Sit up."

He helped her sit and helped her get dressed with little help, but some from Kate. When she was dressed he put his arms around her and laid her back down. She was still crying, but not as hard. He went around the bed and got into the bed behind her. She turned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Kate," he began. "It doesn't mean you're pregnant. How about you stop crying and calm down until we know for sure."

"Sawyer," she sniffled. "I think we're the two most fertile people in the country…I'm pregnant. I know I'm pregnant. I feel the same way that I always feel."

"Only because you really think you're pregnant," he assured her. "Kate I promise you. Everything is going to be ok. Logan is fine, and so are Xander and A.J."

"Ok," she breathed. "Ok. You're right. Everything is going to be ok. And maybe it'll be a girl. You can go get a vasectomy tomorrow."

"Kate," he shook his head. "You're not even pregnant yet…let's just wait until you're pregnant."

The next couple weeks Kate wouldn't let Sawyer touch her. Even when he'd kiss her she would only kiss him for a couple seconds and then back away. Sawyer wished that they could just find out now whether or not Kate was pregnant. He came home and didn't hear any noise. No sounds of babies crying, or the TV, or anything.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Kate!"

He looked through the house and went into the bedroom. Kate was standing in the bedroom in her white nighty.

"Kate?" he asked. "What are you doin'?"

"My name is Kat," she whispered. "I'm here because I know that you want me…you've missed me while your wife has been going crazy. You haven't been touched in over 2 weeks."

"Kate," he shook his head.

"No," she replied. "My name is Kat Diamond, Mr. Ford. Now get your hot little ass over here."

"You don't have to ask me twice," he said walking quickly toward her.

"Actually I did," she whispered.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked.

"No sir," she shook her head. "I haven't had sex with you in over a year…no chance of me being pregnant. And I don't have 3 babies. Now…let's have some hot sex. Sit."

She pointed at the bed and he took a seat quickly. She sat down on his legs facing him. He put his hands on her ass and she shook her head.

"What are the rules?" she asked in a whisper.

"No touching," he answered, moving his hands to her legs and up toward her crotch.

"That's right," she replied. "If you don't stop touching me Mr. Ford, I'm going to leave."

"Ok," he nodded removing his hands from her. She reached over to the nightstand where there was a cup full of ice. She took a cube in her hand and rubbed it on her lips and down her body. She then used the same ice cube on Sawyer's body and neck. She put the ice cube in her mouth and ran it down his chest. She leaned in toward his mouth and looked at him.

"Kiss me Ms. Diamond," he whispered.

"Uh-uh," she shook her head. She ran her hands down her own body and rubbed against him. He was growing harder as she moved. She took his shirt off and he laid back and she was now straddling his stomach. She ran her hands up his chest and ran her tongue on his chest and neck.

"Take your pants off," she said. He unbuttoned his pants and scooted out of them. She stood up on the bed still with one leg on either side of him. She started swaying back and forth. Sawyer didn't know what she was doing, but she started dancing slowly, while standing on the bed.

"You're gonna fall," he chuckled.

"Will you catch me?" she asked seductively.

"Yes," he answered. She took her underwear off and laid down on top of him.

"I want to fuck you Mr. Ford," she whispered in his ear. "I'm so wet and needy. I haven't had sex with anyone in over a year."

"I usually have sex every night Ms. Diamond," he murmured. "But lately…I haven't had sex with my wife in 2 weeks."

"Well," she began. "I'm glad I can be here for you then. She won't mind you cheating on her."

"She cheated on me," he mumbled. "And me being the wonderful husband that I am…I forgave her. I don't think she'd mind if I fucked someone else. She fucked two guys in the same night."

"Was she sorry?" Kate asked, this time almost coming out of her 'Kat' persona.

"I don't really know," he shook his head. "She still sees the one guy all the time. He called me to tell me that she was going into labor. She probably still fucks him all the time. She's probably with him right now."

"Sawyer," she began, leaning down to his ear. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asked. "You asked. Come on Kat. Forget about husbands and wives…we have the night to ourselves. We can do anything."

"I do want to fuck you," she answered pushing all of her anger aside. She pulled his boxers off quickly and leaned over him. Their lips were very close to touching.

"Kiss me Kat," he whispered.

"Nope," she shook her head and lifted herself over him.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "Condom."

"You just let me take care of that," she whispered, and she pushed herself onto him hard and fast.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, as she sat up and pulled her nighty off. She nodded and he ran his hand up her body and toward her breasts. "Do you like fucking me Kat?"

"Yes," she moaned.

"I like it too," he answered. "You are so much better than Kate. I want to fuck you every night."

"What the hell does that mean?" Kate asked. This time it was Kate. Kate bent down and kissed his lips softly. She moved her hips against his. "I'm way better than some fake stripper."

"I beg to differ," he replied.

"Fuck you," she said forcefully and started grinding harder. "I fucked Jack…I loved his cock in me. He was so big and thick. Bigger than you."

"Liar liar," he stated, flipping them over and pushing into her further. "Pants on fire."

"I wish that I could fuck him again," she whispered as he pounded into her. "He was so big, but so gentle. He didn't fuck me Sawyer…he made love to me. All you can do is fuck me. You don't even like me, but you love fucking me. I'm the best fuck you've ever had."

"Yeah," he said. "And I'm the best dick you've ever had in you. I'm way bigger than Jack."

She closed her eyes tightly and closed her mouth.

"I'm wishing you were Jack," she told him. "I'm thinking about Jack's hands on my hips, and his tongue in me. I never got to taste him, and I wish that I could. I want to taste his sweet need. I remember smelling like him after we fucked, and I've never smelled so amazing after sex."

"I went down on Cassidy," he said thrusting into her.

"Really," she groaned. "How did she taste?"

"Better than you sweetness," he whispered. She flipped them over and shook her head. She lifted her self off of him and put her fingers into herself. She pulled her fingers back out and pushed herself back down onto him and put her fingers in his mouth. He moaned his approval and flipped over on top of her again.

"Still gonna tell me that Cassidy tastes better?" she asked into his ear.

He didn't answer her, but just ground himself into her. She moaned loudly as he lifted her hips toward him and forced her to wrap her legs around him. He bounced her and then laid down on top of her.

"You only like me because of my body," she told him. "You love what I do to you, but you don't love me."

"That's right," he growled into her ear. "I just had 3 kids with you and sleep in your arms every night because I hate you Kate. You're a bigger dumbass than I thought."

"I'm not a dumbass," she answered, flipping them back over and putting her hands on his shoulders. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders and he bucked his hips.

"Fuck me harder Kat," he said.

"It's Kate," she informed him. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. "Just call me Kate please."

"I'm sorry Kat," he shook his head. "You're Kat Diamond remember? Just fuck me. You can even call me Jack if you want. In fact…please…call me Jack."

"I don't want Jack," she replied. "I want you to fuck me harder James. You're who I want and need more than anything Sawyer. Touch me."

He kissed her and started moving against her harder. He put his hand between them and started playing with her clit. She screamed loudly with passion.

"Do you like that Kate?" he whispered. "Do you like my hand on you?"

"Yeah," she moaned. He stopped touching her and put his fingers to his lips. He licked his fingers and then rolled them back over her. She started moaning louder. She nipped at his lip as he bent down and pushed himself even further into her. She came and he chuckled and rolled out of her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and opened his arms for her to fall into. "I'm sorry Freckles."

"I'm sorry too," she said, flipping toward him and wrapping her arms around him.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked. "I mean I know you said that Kat wasn't pregnant, but that's when you were Kat…but is Kate pregnant?"

"No," she chuckled. "I'm not pregnant."

"Thank god!" he exclaimed. He kissed her deeply, and looked at her face. "So why wasn't I allowed to wear a condom? I mean what if you do get pregnant?"

"I bought a diaphragm, so hopefully that will be enough," she answered.

"I didn't go down on Cassidy," he told her.

"I know," she answered. "And I felt disgusting after I had sex with Jack. I hated myself."

"Honey," he shook his head. "Nothing matters…the only thing that matters is us. Our family. And speaking of that where are the babies?"

"They're with their aunt Jill and uncle Kyle," she answered. "They're actually coming home at 11:00."

Sawyer looked over at the clock. It was only 5:00. They had spent an hour pleasuring each other, and now they still had 6 more hours with each other. Kate got out of the bed and started for the door. She was still completely naked.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Shower," she answered. "Join me?"

He stood up and picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. They got into the shower and started washing themselves. Kate bent down and looked like she was going to wash her feet but then knelt in front of Sawyer and put her hands on his hips. He groaned as she put her mouth on him. She started sucking and moving her tongue in small circles. He held on to the sides of the shower for support. He wanted to hold on as long as he could, but he came quickly. He helped her stand and looked at her.

"You want me to return the favor?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered. He didn't wait before pushing two fingers into her. She moaned loudly and he went to his knees and moved his mouth to her. She groaned again and he made her come quicker than he ever had. They went back to the bedroom and Kate started getting dressed.

"What are you doin'?" he asked. "Seems kinda pointless."

"I'm getting dressed," she answered. "And you should too. We're going to dinner."

They both finished getting dressed and went to dinner. Kate was wearing a short black dress that was turning Sawyer on. She hardly ever wore dresses, but when she did, she looked fantastic.

"You look hot tonight Freckles," he whispered leaning over the table. He started playing footsie with her and she chuckled at him.

"You're not so bad yourself Cowboy," she answered. "I miss this. I miss having just us in the house. I asked Jill and Kyle if they could take the babies once a month."

"Lemme guess," he began. "The catch is that we have to take care of Tasha once a month."

"Tasha is one of the easiest babies I've ever seen."

"What about Logan?" he asked. "All he does is sleep."

"I know," she whispered. "Sawyer what if something is really wrong with him."

"There is nothing wrong with him Freckles," Sawyer shook his head. "He's a baby…and he's gonna sleep. And if it was really that big of a deal the doctor would tell us. Everything is going to be fine."

Kate stopped talking about it and they ate dinner in peace. Sawyer kept making her smile and laugh, which was turning her on. He made a joke about having sex in the bathroom, but Kate knew that it wasn't entirely a joke.

Kate ordered a chocolate fudge brownie cake for dessert and was licking the chocolate off her lips. Sawyer leaned toward her and whispered.

"Can I have a taste?"

She smiled, and before she could bring the fork to his mouth he kissed her and licked the chocolate off her lips.

"I'm going to the Men's room," he began. "Meet me in there in 5?"

"In your dreams," she shook her head. As he left she called after him quietly. "I'll think about it."

She continued to eat the cake and the waitress came to the table with a cordless phone.

"Ma'am," she began. "Are you Mrs. Ford?"

"Yeah," she answered, furrowing her eyebrows. "What's going on?"

"You have a phone call from Jill Blanchard," the waitress replied.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Jill?"

"It's ok Kate," Jill stated. "Don't panic. We're at the hospital."

"Oh my God," she repeated. "Logan."

"No," she answered. "It's Xander. He's gonna be fine…the doctor is examining him, but they need parental consent if they're going to do anything drastic like surgery."

"Well what the hell happened?" Kate asked. "Is he ok?"

"We don't know Kate," she responded. "They won't tell me anything. Just get here."

"Ok," Kate stated. "We're coming right now."

Kate quickly got up from the table and ran toward the sign that said Restrooms. She was caught by Sawyer who brought his arms around her and kissed her.

"Hmm," he whispered into her ear. "Someone is eager."

"Sawyer," she breathed. "It's Xander."

Sawyer didn't even ask anything before he started escorting her through the restaurant and toward the car. By the time they got to the car Kate was hardly breathing. She put her hand to her chest and started taking deep breaths.

"Keep breathing Kate," he whispered. "Xander is gonna need you."

"I know," she answered. "I'm just so scared Sawyer. When Jill said they were at the hospital my first thought was Logan, but she told me it was Xander-I'm just so scared."

"He's gonna be ok," he responded. "What happened?"

"Jill didn't say," she replied.

They got to the hospital and Sawyer was almost having to hold on to Kate to keep her standing up. They walked to the waiting area and saw Jill sitting in the chairs holding A.J on her lap. He squirmed when he saw Kate and managed to get out of Jill's grip and run, very unsteadily toward Kate. Kate bent down and scooped him up before he could fall.

"You ok baby?" she asked. He nodded and hugged her tightly. Sawyer went toward Jill who looked at the floor. Logan was sleeping in the baby carrier, completely oblivious to what was going on. Sawyer and Kate finally noticed that Kyle was there too, holding Tasha.

"What happened?" Sawyer asked calmly.

"Don't," Kate said holding A.J tighter and sitting down next to Jill.

"No," he replied. "I want to know. What happened?"

"He fell," Kyle answered finally.

"What?" Kate asked. "Jill you told me that you didn't know what happened."

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone that it was my fault," Jill sobbed. She got up off the chair and walked down the hall. Kyle looked after her and shook his head.

"It wasn't her fault exactly," Kyle sighed. "Xander was walking in the living room, and he fell and hit his head on the coffee table. It was bleeding, but the thing that really scared us was that he went unconscious."

"Oh God," Kate said starting to breath heavy again and she put her hand to her mouth.

"He woke up on the way to the hospital actually, but he wasn't crying. I don't know what to tell you except we're so sorry."

"It's ok man," Sawyer sighed. "We know that you would never hurt him on purpose. Right Kate?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the doctor said coming out and looking at Kate and Sawyer. "Your friends were pretty worried about your little guy."

"Is he ok?" Kate asked, with tears coming back into her eyes. "Can we see him?"

"He'll be just fine," the doctor answered. "He's got quite a bump on his head, but he'll be just fine. He's actually crying right now because we had to draw some blood…it's always a good thing when they cry. Do you want to see him?"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "We just wanna sit out here all night talking about it."

"Follow me," the doctor said. Kate and Sawyer quickly went after the doctor and into the room. Xander had the room to himself, except for the 5 doctors and nurses that were surrounding him.

"You mind backing off my son," Sawyer said pushing his way through the crowd of doctors. He picked Xander up and looked at him.

"Dada," Xander sobbed.

"I know," he whispered. "You got hurt. You're ok now though."

Kate loved watching Sawyer take care of Xander, but she wanted to hold him too. She stepped toward Sawyer and reached out to take the baby. He handed her the baby and gave her a weak smile. He didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better.

"He'll be ok Kate," Sawyer whispered.

"We're going to have to keep him in here over night," the doctor informed them. "He does have a mild concussion, so with his age we need to keep a close eye on him."

"Can we stay?" Kate whimpered, holding Xander tighter and more protectively.

"Of course," the doctor nodded.

"Both of us?" Sawyer asked.

"Sure," he answered.

The doctor left and told all the other nurses to leave. Kate sat down in the rocking chair they had provided and started rocking gently.

"You ok baby?" she whispered and examined his head. There was bandage wrapped around his head and she couldn't see the wound. She wanted to look at the bump to see for herself how bad it was. As she rocked gently Xander fell asleep. Sawyer was sitting next to Kate and then quickly stood up.

"I should probably go tell Jill and Kyle that they can go home," he said.

"I want the other kids to stay too," she mumbled.

"Kate," he shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. There's no where for them to sleep. They should just go home and sleep in their own beds."

"You're right," she nodded.

Sawyer went back into the waiting room and gave them the house key so that they could take the babies back to their house. Jill still didn't look at Sawyer. She still felt horrible and responsible for Xander's injury. When Sawyer went back to the room Kate was awake, and looking at Xander. Sawyer sat down next to her again and looked in at the baby too.

"He looks like he's alright," Sawyer whispered.

"I think he is," she nodded. "It's just really scary. We could have lost him Sawyer. If he had bumped his head hard enough…he would have died."

"Shh," he shook his head. "Don't talk like that."

"No," she said looking at him. "I heard the nurses talking about it. They said that he was lucky."

"Well damn them to hell for scaring you like that," he replied. "He's going to be ok."

"I know," she nodded. Sawyer sat down in the chair next to Kate and pulled her over so she was sitting on his lap. She leaned against him and kissed his cheek.

"So Kate," he whispered. "Have you ever done it in a hospital?"

Kate jabbed him in the ribs but chuckled. He tightened his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek.

**A/N: Please review?**


	20. Chapter 20

Kate refused to go to sleep. She was sitting in the rocking chair, rocking herself gently, but staring at the crib. Sawyer was sleeping on the small couch. She looked back at him and sighed. It wasn't that she was mad that he was sleeping, but she didn't get why he wasn't just as worried as she was.

"Mrs. Ford are you still awake?" the nurse asked coming into the room and stepping toward the baby.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked.

"I need to just check his pulse really quick, and his breathing."

"Why didn't you just put him on machines?" Kate questioned. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's about 4:30," she answered. "We don't like putting young babies on machines unless we have to. I'm just gonna check his heartbeat ok?"

She started checking the baby, and tried to do it carefully enough to keep him sleeping, but he woke up and started crying.

"You're ok buddy," the nurse whispered. Sawyer woke up violently and nearly fell off of the couch.

"What are you doing?" he asked standing up and going toward her. He pushed her to the side and carefully picked him up.

"I'm just doing my job," she answered. "I need to check his heartbeat."

"Ok do it then," he said still holding on to Xander. "You can check him while I hold him. You're scaring him."

The nurse nodded and finished checking the baby while Sawyer held him. By the time she was done and leaving Xander was sleeping. Sawyer sat down on the couch, and looked at the baby. Kate stood up from her spot and sat down next to him.

"You're so amazing with him," she whispered. "I want to go home…I want to take him home."

"I know," he nodded. "Me too."

"I miss Logan and A.J," she said.

Sawyer put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder gently. She turned toward him and kissed his lips. He stood up and put the baby back in the crib. He sat back down next to her and put his arms around her. He kissed her again and this time didn't back away. He laid her down on the couch and laid down on top of her.

"Wait," she chuckled. "I'm not having sex with you, while our son is right there."

"I don't want to have sex," he whispered. "I just want to make out."

"Sawyer," she shook her head and smiled. He leaned toward her again and kissed her softly. She gave in for a minute. They both heard someone clear their throat, and she quickly backed away and they saw Jack standing in front of them.

"What the hell do you want?" Sawyer asked standing up. Kate grabbed him by the hand and squeezed it. He sat back down and put his arm around Kate again. "What do you want Doctor Jack?"

"I-" he began. "I just got here, and I over heard the doctor talking about Xander Ford. Not many people have that name."

"They don't call him Xander," Kate argued. "They call him by his real name...Alexander."

"I just wanted to see if you were ok Kate," he answered.

"That's not your job," Sawyer said standing up again. "I appreciate that you want to make sure that my son is ok, but this is _my _family. If you ever come near us again I'll kill you."

"Sawyer," Kate sighed.

"No," he shook his head. "I dealt with it…I understood that he was just trying to be nice, but enough is enough. He isn't part of our family. He's the reason that we almost didn't make it. Just leave us alone. Let's go Kate."

Sawyer walked toward the crib and picked up Xander. He walked back toward Kate and took her by the hand. They walked out of the room past Jack.

"You can't just walk out of here," Jack told them. "You have to check out. Plus it's 5:00 in the morning."

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "And Kate hasn't gotten a wink of sleep. I'm taking my wife and child home so that we can get some sleep."

Sawyer walked out of the room with Kate following him closely. Jack grabbed her softly by the arm and pulled her to face him.

"Kate," he whispered. "If Sawyer is forcing you to do something, you have to get out. Don't let him-"

"Sawyer is the best thing in my life," she answered. "He loves me…and he loves our sons. You need to leave me alone. You need to stop showing up everywhere that I am."

"I can't help it," he mumbled. "I'm in love with you Kate. I've been in love with you since the day I met you. I want to make love to you again, and this time in a bed, not standing up in some gross public bathroom."

"Jack don't," she whispered. "You don't love me. We made a mistake. I love my husband…and that's it. I can't hurt him."

"What about me?" he asked.

"Jack we barely know each other!" she yelled, this time getting mad. Sawyer had turned around and was watching them. He started walking toward them somewhat threateningly, until Kate put her hand up to stop him. "I got this Sawyer. Jack, I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry that your wife left you, but I'm even sorrier that I cheated on my husband."

"Come on Freckles," Sawyer whispered. "Let's go."

"Leave me alone Jack," she shook her head, and followed Sawyer to the front desk. Sawyer handed the baby over to Kate and he tapped his hand quickly at the front desk to get the attention of the receptionist.

"We're leaving," he said. "Alexander Ford."

"Wait," she protested.

"No," he said simply. "We're going. We're taking our son home."

"Sawyer," Kate whispered, holding the baby closer. "Maybe we should wait for the doctor. I don't want anything to happen, just because we were too anxious to get home."

"Fine," he mumbled. "Can you get the doctor so that we can take him home?"

The nurse paged the doctor and Kate and Sawyer sat down in the waiting room. The doctor came quickly and saw Kate sitting with the baby on her lap.

"You want to leave huh?" he asked.

"Please," Kate nodded. "I just want to take him home."

"Ok," he replied. "Let me just check the bandage and see if he's doing ok."

The doctor pulled the bandage back and Xander started whining and crying. Kate squeezed him tighter and kissed him on the cheek.

"Shh," she soothed. "You're gonna be ok."

"He looks ok", the doctor replied. "It's already beginning to heal. Unfortunately because he's so little we're not gonna be able to know for a fact if he's dizzy or overly tired. For today he'll probably sleep the whole day…but if he starts acting strangely or if he won't eat, then you're advised to bring him back.

"Ok," Kate nodded. "So we can take him home?"

"I'd say that would be fine," he stated. "Both of you seem like your concerned and conscious parents so as long as you bring him back or call if there's any changes, then it should be fine."

"Thanks doc," Sawyer said holding out his hand for the doctor to shake.

"Oh, and we'd like you to bring him back in a week no matter what to make sure that everything's still ok."

"Alright," Kate whispered.

Sawyer and Kate left the hospital. Sawyer drove home in silence. Kate sat in the back seat with Xander. He was sleeping in the car seat, but she refused to leave his side. She was still so worried, and she didn't think Sawyer was worried enough. When they got home, they immediately went inside to relieve Kyle and Jill of being on duty with the kids. Logan was crying when they walked in the house, and so was A.J. Kate didn't hear the sounds of Tasha crying, and was somewhat confused as to why she wouldn't be crying, but both the other kids were.

"We're home," Kate said.

"Momma!" A.J cried. He ran unsteadily toward her and grabbed on to her leg. Kate put Xander down and picked up A.J.

"You ok buddy?" she asked. He nodded and put his thumb in his mouth and his head on Kate's shoulder.

That night Kate and Sawyer lay in bed together. All three of the kids were sleeping and Kate made sure to turn the baby monitor in Xander and A.J's room up really loud so she could hear every peep. She left the room 4 times because she thought she hear a strange sound. Sawyer had his arms around her and she flipped toward him.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked.

"Of course I do," he chuckled. "But that's one of the things I love about you Freckles. Of course you're gonna be worried about the boys…ain't nothing wrong with that."

"What would we have done if he would have died?" she whispered.

"Sweetheart don't do that to yourself," he shook his head.

"We're being punished. We don't deserve to be a happy family," she sobbed.

"No," he said firmly. "I refuse to let you believe that. Kate we're good people. Maybe before we met each other we didn't have the greatest pasts, but what's in the past is over. We've got each other…and we're good parents."

"Thank you," she whispered and put her head against his shoulder. She kissed his chest and then moved up to his mouth. "We never got to finish our night together."

"You suggesting that we finish it right now?" he asked, slightly shocked.

"Maybe," she smirked. "Put your hand on me James."

He reached his hand down and put his hand on the top of her underwear. She sighed and arched her back and pushed against his hand. She wrapped her arms around him and reached her hands up the back of his shirt. He carefully put his hand into her underwear. He kissed her softly and pushed two of his fingers into her. She moaned softly into his mouth and ran her hands up into his hair.

"I love you," he said. He continued to touch her. They both heard the crying coming from Xander and A.J's monitor. Kate sighed softly and Sawyer stopped.

"I'll go," he whispered. "Don't move."

She let out another soft moan and he left the bed. She could hear his voice over the baby monitor.

"Dada," A.J said through his tears. Sawyer picked him up and sighed softly.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Don't you know that your momma and I want to have just a few more hours together. Your brother sorta ruined our night last night. Go back to sleep, please?"

He put the baby back into the crib and he laid down and went back to sleep. Sawyer sighed to himself hand headed back into the bedroom. Kate was laying in the same spot. He chuckled to himself and got into the bed.

"I'm surprised you weren't in here pleasuring yourself Mrs. Ford," he whispered.

"I thought seriously about it," she smiled. "But then I decided that I'd wait for you."

"Well I'm glad," he replied. He touched her and discovered that she was still very wet and ready for him. He placed his hand back on her and she breathed in deeply and leaned forward to kiss him. He quickly kissed her back and their tongues fought.

"Do you love my pussy?" she asked.

"Jesus Freckles," he groaned. "You're making me so damn hard."

"I'm wet," she told him.

"I'm well aware of that," he chuckled. She reached her hand into his boxers and started touching him. She moved her hand over him quickly. He groaned loudly and she chuckled at him and kissed his lips. She bit down gently on his bottom lip. He was very close to orgasm, and so was she when Logan started crying. Kate moaned and groaned at the same time.

"It's Logan," she said, trying to get away from him but being pulled back toward him.

"He'll be fine," he whispered. "Just let him cry. Keep going Kate."

"Doesn't that distract you?" she asked turning toward the baby monitor. He took the baby monitor and turned it off. He pushed his fingers against her and she came. She moved her hand against him harder and he came.

"Can I go take care of the baby now?" she questioned.

"Yeah," he sighed and rolled over. "Go take care of the baby."

"Sawyer don't be mad at me," she scoffed getting out of the bed and pulling on her underwear. "He's only a few months old. He doesn't understand why I'm not coming."

Kate left the room and went into Logan's room. She picked him up and he didn't stop crying. She shushed him and bounced him slowly. He still didn't settle down, in fact his crying only got louder. Kate sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking him gently.

"Shh," she whispered. "It's ok sweetie pie. You're ok."

Sawyer got out of bed and went into the room where Kate was still trying to calm Logan down. He knelt in front of her and took the baby out of her arms.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I just miss sleep. I miss sleeping with you in my arms and without any babies crying. For once I wanted to cuddle, and Logan-as much as I love him, he's a pain in the ass."

"I love cuddling with you too Sawyer," she answered. "But we have 3 babies…one of them is bound to cry at least once a night…and I'm sorry if that ruins your plans."

"Dammit," he whispered. "Kate don't do that. It didn't ruin anything. The babies are as much mine as they are yours. I have to deal with them just like you do. But for now, let's just go back to our room and lay together…in each other's arms."

"Ok," she nodded. Logan stopped crying and Sawyer put him back in the crib. He helped Kate into a standing position and they walked together back to their bedroom. They got into bed and Sawyer put his arms around her loosely. She turned over in his arms and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I overreacted. It's just-the babies…they're all so young still. I just don't want anything to happen to them. After what happened last night to Xander. I haven't heard a peep from him…I'm so scared."

"Well then lets go check on him," Sawyer whispered. He got back out of the bed and pulled Kate into a standing position. They walked into the twin's room. Sawyer leaned over the crib and put his hand on Xander's chest. His heart was beating normally and he was breathing. Kate sighed softly and put the back of her hand against his forehead.

"Sawyer," she gasped. "He's burning up."

Sawyer put his hand against his head and he picked him up. When he picked him up he started crying. Kate ran out of the room and came back with the phone. She was already calling and she was slightly panicked.

"No one is answering," she sobbed, looking at Sawyer. She gasped as someone on the other line picked up. "My son…he's burning up. He fell yesterday, Alexander Ford. He was in the hospital. The doctor told us to call if anything changed. What should we do?"

"Let me get you a doctor to talk to," she replied. "Who was the doctor that you your son saw?"

"Doctor-Bailey I think," Kate answered.

"Oh Dr. Bailey is still here," the receptionist stated. "I'll put you through to his office."

"Ok," she whispered. Kate was only on hold for a few seconds before the doctor picked up.

"Mrs. Ford?" he asked. "Xander has a fever?"

"Yeah," she stated. "He's really warm."

"Well what's his temperature?" the doctor asked.

"I don't know," she sniffled.

"Ok," he replied, still staying calm. "Just take his temperature and we'll figure out where to go from there."

"Should I stay on the phone?" she asked.

"Yeah," he stated. "Just take his temperature and let me know how high it is."

"Ok," she whispered. She walked over to the drawer where they kept all the baby stuff, including the thermometer. "Ok honey, I'm just gonna take your temperature really quick ok?"

She put the thermometer in the baby's ear and he started whining and crying. It was only a few seconds before the thermometer beeped. She looked at it to see what the temperature was.

"Holy shit Sawyer," she whispered. "We have to take him in right now. It's 103. It's 103 doctor."

"Definitely bring him in," he responded. "I'll be down waiting for you guys ok?"

"Ok," she sniffled.

"It's going to be ok Mrs. Ford. Just bring him in and we'll do everything we can."

Kate picked up A.J, and they all headed to the car. Sawyer put Xander in the car seat and Kate got into the car, they started leaving the driveway when Kate hit Sawyer hard on the arm.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. "Logan!"

"Shit," he whispered.

"I'll go get him," she answered. She ran back into the house and into Logan's room. Logan was sleeping soundly, completely oblivious to the fact that he was almost left behind. She picked him up and sighed loudly.

"I'm sorry baby," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. Do you forgive me sweetie?"

He woke up, but didn't cry. He clung to Kate's shirt and looked at her with a tiny smile. She sobbed softly feeling guilty for leaving him, but feeling nothing but love for him and from him. Still loved her and knew that she loved him. She put Logan into his car seat and they drove to the hospital. When they got there all three babies were still sleeping. Kate kept Logan in his baby seat and carried that with one hand. Sawyer carried Xander, and Kate held A.J's hand. They walked as fast as A.J could go, but it wasn't fast enough for Kate. She set the baby seat down and picked up A.J. She put the baby seat in her hands and held A.J with just her arms and her hands under his behind.

"You're ok baby," she whispered as A.J started crying. They ran toward the emergency area and Dr. Bailey was already there. He took Xander from Sawyer and whisked him away. The nurse told them that she would come get them as soon as they were finished examining Xander. Kate sat down in one of the chairs and held on to A.J.

"He's gonna be ok Freckles," Sawyer stated.

"I hate this," she shook her head. "I mean I really really hate this. It sucks. He's just a tiny baby."

"I know," he nodded. "And we would both take his place in a second if we could. I know that it's terrible, and I know how hard this is for you…but we have to stay strong for A.J, and Logan…and especially Xander."

"I know. I know," she sighed. "You're right. You're right."

Sawyer put his hand on Kate's and squeezed it. She squeezed back and handed him A.J. She bent down and picked up Logan from his baby seat. She hugged him tightly and he woke up. He was only 3 months old, but he babbled baby talk all the time. Sawyer was sure that he would be saying his first word soon. Logan looked at Kate and started tapping her softly on the shoulder.

"Mama," he said. Kate quickly looked at Sawyer and he opened his mouth.

"Did he just-" Sawyer began.

"Yeah," she said with tears coming into her eyes. "Oh baby…my emotions are going crazy today. I'm sad and now I'm happy. I love you so much."

The nurse came back only a few minutes later to give them an update. Xander was ok. They gave him some medicine to make the fever go down, and he was now stable. They were going to let them take him home, but only because the other babies were there and she had to bring him back the next day.

They were back at home once again and laying in bed. Kate thought that it was a lot later than it really was. It was only midnight, but she felt like it was 2 or 3 in the morning. She rolled toward him and sighed deeply and loudly.

"He's alright babe," Sawyer said quietly.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I'm so fucking horny and I don't know why."

"I don't know why either," he chuckled. "Are you about to start?"

"Tomorrow," she answered. "But since I've had the babies, I've never felt this horny before. I wasn't even this horny earlier when your hand was on me."

"So what do you want me to do to you Kate?" he asked. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

"I want your mouth on me, and then your hard cock inside of me."

"Alright sweetness," he whispered. He flipped them over and put Kate's legs up on his shoulders. She was still wearing underwear, but he literally ripped them to get them off.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed, but was still very excited and waiting for him. He leaned forward and pulled her legs further toward him so his mouth was close to her. She breathed in sharply and he stopped her torment by putting his mouth on her. She started panting and moaning somewhat loudly. He put his hand on her mouth to shut her up.

"Shh," he whispered. "You don't want to wake up the kids…not just yet anyway."

He put his mouth against her once more and she climaxed. He put his hand over her mouth again, and she put her hand on top. He put her legs back down, only to have her put them back up on his shoulders again.

"Like this," she said quietly. He pushed his boxers down and pushed himself into her. She grabbed a pillow and put it over her face to muffle her moans. He moaned softly and moved the pillow away from her face so he could kiss her. She sucked at his tongue and lips, and came. He came with her and rolled off of her.

"Goodnight," she whispered and spooned against him.

"Night," he replied, putting his arms around her.

**A/N: OMG. So I'm watching the movie Gia, which is about the supermodel Gia…from the 80's. Elizabeth Mitchell is in it, and it's really weird b/c she's bi-sexual. But all I can see is Juliet! So I'm like "aw, Juliet."…I love her (Juliet I mean). And she gets naked a couple times, so that's kinda weird too. Anyway I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	21. Chapter 21

**2 and a Half Years Later**

Kate was ready to have another baby. Sawyer didn't really care either way, but he wasn't entirely excited about the prospect of having another baby. Especially if it was a boy. Would Kate want to keep trying until they had a girl? He didn't know what to think or do. He wanted Kate to be happy, but he wasn't entirely sure of how to react to the fact that their family was going to keep getting bigger and bigger. She was always ready for sex. He was always ready too, but without the pressure of having a baby along with it.

He came home from work and grumbled as he realized that the house was dark, aside for candles that Kate had lit leading to the bedroom. He went into the kitchen first and poured himself a double shot of vodka. He put the shot glass down on the counter and grabbed the edge of the counter. He sighed again as he heard her voice coming through the halls.

"You home?" she asked loudly from the bedroom.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed, beginning to walk toward the bedroom. When he got to the bedroom Kate jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him. All she was wearing was underwear and a sheer tank top. She kissed him softly and slowly. It was the slowest that she had been in weeks. She backed away from him, but stayed in his arms.

"Have you been drinking?" she asked.

"Well," he started.

"God I can't believe you!" she exclaimed and hit him on the shoulder. She tried getting off of him, but he held on to her tightly and carried her to the bed. He put her down and sat down next to her.

"Just listen to me," he began.

"Is it really that awful having sex with me?" she asked. "Because you never had a problem with it before until I said I wanted to start trying for a daughter."

"Kate," he whispered. "I want you to have a daughter. I think that you would be great with a little girl, but I almost feel like it's been a chore lately. All you want to do is fuck me."

"Sawyer," she started. "We always talk dirty to each other and have rough sex…it doesn't mean that I love you any less…and I want to have another baby with you, doesn't that tell you something?"

"Sweetheart I know that you love me," he replied. "I just wish you didn't put so much pressure on me. It's like if you don't get pregnant it'll be my fault."

"You know damn well that I'm not gonna blame you," she sighed. "And if you don't know that then you don't know me."

She got up and started leaving the room. Sawyer jumped up quickly and shoved the door closed before she could leave.

"Don't," he shook his head. "Don't fight with me. Don't walk away…I'm just telling you my feelings…most women would kill for their man to be telling them their fears."

"You're right," she whispered. "But most men don't have to be drunk to have sex with their wife."

"I'm not drunk, I had one drink, and it hasn't even been able to affect me…and it probably won't," he argued. "And I don't have to be drunk to have sex with you Kate…I'm just stressed. I expected to come home to you and the babies…not to candles leading to the bedroom."

"I just wanted to do something special," she whispered. They walked back over to the bed and sat down

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'm sorry I ruined all this."

"You didn't," she shook her head. "The kids are still gone…and this time it's a sleep over so we can sleep in each other's arms."

"And we're gonna be doin' more than sleepin," he whispered.

"If we're gonna have another baby," she answered crawling on to his lap. She kissed his lips and sat back to look at him. "I'm sorry if you feel pressure…let's just forget it for tonight. Just love each other. Don't worry about me getting pregnant."

"You're gonna be thinking about it in the back of your mind," he told her.

"So what?" she shrugged. "I just want to make love to you and sleep in your arms and not worry about the kids, or me getting pregnant."

He pulled her toward him and captured her lips. He laid down, and flipped them over so he was on top of her. He pushed her arms up over her head, and she let him take over. He kissed her palms and moved down her body and kissed her arms and down her neck and to her lips. She kept her hands up above her head and let him continue to move down her body. He lifted her shirt up and placed soft, wet kisses on her belly. When he got to the top of her underwear he carefully slid them down and pulled them off carefully. He moved his hands over her body, and kissed her thigh softly. She moved slightly under him and he let out a chuckle.

"I want you in me," she moaned. Sawyer moved his mouth over her. He knew that that's not what she meant, but he was still satisfied by her loud moan. He kept his mouth on her and waited for her to come. She did, and then flipped them over. She ran her hands up his chest and took his shirt off. There was a large purple bruise on his neck from where she had sucked on it the previous night. She touched it softly with her fingertips and then bent down and kissed it. She unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down over his hips.

"Are you hard?" she asked.

"Very," he whispered.

"Good," she replied. She pushed herself on to him and flipped them over again. He pushed into her and she wrapped her legs around him.

"Fuck me," she moaned. "Harder."

He pushed into her harder and put his mouth to her ear.

"You feel so damn hot and wet Freckles," he whispered. "I'm gonna fill you up and get us a daughter."

She moaned loudly and continued to move with him. He pushed into her and continued to kiss her over her body and face. He came, but stayed inside her, and laid down on top of her with his arms around her. She came and yelled into his ear, but he continued to lay on her chest. He finally rolled off of her but kept his arms tightly around her.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. "I know I am."

He kissed her on the cheek and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next two weeks, Kate continued to tell Sawyer that she had a good feeling that she was pregnant. She was even late with her period. Sawyer came home with a pregnancy test and was greeted at the door by all 3 of the boys.

"Daddy!" Logan exclaimed and clung on to his leg.

"Hi Logan," he chuckled.

"Daddy guess what?" Xander started. "Mrs. Hammond gave me a gold star today!"

"I got two stars!" A.J said. Xander and A.J each held up shiny gold star stickers to show Sawyer.

"Cool!" he exclaimed. A.J and Xander were in kindergarten. They both were advanced for their age which sort of surprised both Kate and Sawyer, since neither of them were every particularly excellent at school. They were both in the highest reading, and math groups. The only thing that concerned Kate, Sawyer, and even the kindergarten teacher was that neither of them wanted to play with the other children. They only would play with each other.

"Did you make any friends today?" Sawyer asked. They both shook their heads and ran from the room. Logan looked at him and smiled widely.

"Me did!" he exclaimed.

"You did?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Kate chuckled. "He and a little girl in his day care class."

"That's my son," he said with a smirk. "Almost 3 and already has a first girlfriend. At least we know for sure that he's a Ford man."

"Shut up," Kate scoffed and shoved him gently.

"I got you something Freckles," he stated with a smile.

"What?" she asked, acting as if she had no clue what could be in the plastic bag. He handed it to her and set Logan down. She looked in to the bag and smiled. She took the bag and ran from the room.

"Momma goin?" Logan asked, sounding very southern and making Sawyer smile widely.

"Momma goin'?" Sawyer repeated. "Momma's going to the potty."

"Me," Logan said softly.

"Nope," Sawyer shook his head. "Girls only on this one."

"Daddy! Help!" Xander said pulling on his pant leg.

"Help?" he asked. "With what."

"Read to me and A.J," he answred.

"What do you say?" he questioned.

"Please!" A.J and Xander both exclaimed.

"Ok," he nodded. "But only for a couple minutes. When you hear your momma yellin', then it's time for me to go talk to her."

"K," they both nodded. Sawyer started reading. He had Logan on his lap, and a twin on each side, leaning over him to look at the pictures. After each sentence one of them would ask him a question. Logan was asking him random questions that had nothing to do with the book, and each of the twins kept asking what words meant.

"Sawyer!" he heard Kate yell. He put Logan down on the couch and ran into the bathroom. She was standing in the doorway holding the pregnancy test firmly in her hand.

"Tell me what that is," she whispered. He chuckled and took the stick out of her hand. He looked at it and contemplated for a little too long in Kate's opinion.

"It's a plus sign," he told her. "You're pregnant."

She smiled widely and jumped into his arms. She kissed him deeply and quickly wrapped her legs around his waist. He turned around and carried her into the hall and pushed her against the wall. Kate didn't seem like she was going to stop kissing him any time soon, so Sawyer wasn't going to stop either.

"Mommy!" Xander's voice stated. "Logan hit me!"

"So hit him back," Sawyer said through the kiss.

"Alexander Ford if you hit your baby brother I am not going to be happy," she said climbing back off of Sawyer. "James…tell him that there's no hitting allowed."

"Alright," Sawyer sighed. "Xand, don't hit."

"Yell at Logan!" he exclaimed.

Kate and Sawyer heard Logan screaming and both ran into the living room. A.J was sitting on him, but not touching him.

"Anton James!" Kate screamed. "Get off of your brother right now!"

A.J, stood up and started crying from being yelled at. He ran through the house and slammed his bedroom door. Kate heard something fall and break, then she heard A.J. crying and screaming harder.

"Go," Sawyer said. "I'll stay here."

Kate opened the door and saw that the family picture that was sitting on the dresser by the door had fallen off and broken on A.J's foot. His foot was bleeding from the broken glass. Kate gasped and went to pick him up.

"No!" he yelled and pushed her away. "I hate you mommy! I hate you! I want daddy!"

Sawyer heard the yelling and came into the room. He saw that A.J's foot was bleeding and picked him up.

"My foot hurts daddy!" A.J cried.

"I know buddy," he whispered. "Come on…let's go into the kitchen so I can look at it."

"I hate mommy!" he yelled, looking down at Kate who was sitting on the floor. "It's all her fault."

"A," Sawyer began. "It was not mommy's fault that you got hurt."

"Yuh huh!" he growled.

"Who slammed the door?" Sawyer asked as he carried him into the kitchen. "Mommy loves you. She would never hurt you."

"My foot hurts daddy!" he screamed. Sawyer sat him down on the counter and turned on the lights to look at A.J's foot. Kate came up behind them and looked at A.J's foot too.

"Is he ok?" Kate asked quietly.

"NO!" A.J screamed. "Go away! I hate you!"

"Stop telling mommy that you hate her," Sawyer said calmly. "You're making her very sad."

"I don't care!" he said crossing his arms and continuing to cry. Sawyer took a roll of gauze out of the medicine cabinet and started wrapping his foot. He was screaming and crying.

"Did you make sure there was no glass in his foot?" Kate whispered.

"Daddy!" A.J yelled. "That hurts!"

"Should we take him to the ER?" he asked quietly.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged. "Maybe. Better safe than sorry…especially if there's glass in his foot."

"I hate you mommy! You hurt me! It's your fault!"

Kate sighed and left the room. She knew that they were only words, and he didn't really mean it, but she couldn't hear him tell her that he hated her one more time. She walked into the living room to check on the other kids. Logan wasn't in the room, but Xander was sitting on the couch watching TV as if there was nothing going on.

"Where is your brother?" Kate asked.

"In the kitchen with daddy silly," he shrugged.

"No," she shook her head. "Logan."

"Oh," Xander said. "He's outside."

"What?" Kate asked.

"I put him in a time out on the front porch."

"Xander!" she yelled. She ran to the front door and opened the door. Logan was walking down the sidewalk in his bare feet. He wasn't very far so Kate ran after him and caught up quickly. She picked him up and held him closely.

"Where were you going?" she asked quietly.

"ander mean," he whined.

"Well honey, Xander doesn't have a right to punish you. That's me and daddy's job."

"I'm bad," he whispered.

"No your not," she sighed and carried him back to the house. "You're a good boy honey."

"No yell," he sobbed.

"Ok," she said quietly. "We'll stop yelling."

Kate got back into the house and Sawyer was carrying A.J to the door.

"I'm gonna take him to the hospital," he whispered. "I couldn't see any glass, but he keeps screaming when I try to touch it, so maybe there is still glass in it."

A.J was still sobbing and turned toward Sawyer. Kate gently put her hand on the back of his head and moved it down his back.

"No!" he yelled. "Don't touch me!"

"Anton, calm down," Sawyer sighed. "You should probably stay here Kate. With the other two."

"No!" she exclaimed, almost acting like her 5 year old son. "I don't-"

"He'll be fine," he whispered. "But I don't think that he's gonna stay calm with you there. I'll call you if anything happens ok? The other kids shouldn't have to go to the damn hospital. A.J loves you Freckles. Tell mommy you love her."

A.J shook his head and let out a single whiney grunt. Sawyer left the house and Kate sighed deeply and went over to the couch. Logan followed her and crawled up on her lap. Xander was jealous of the attention that Logan was getting from Kate.

"Hold me mommy," Xander said walking over to her and pushing Logan off her lap.

"Xander, stop being mean to your brother," she sighed. "You could have gotten him killed by making him sit out on the porch. He was starting to run away."

"It's his fault that A.J is hurt," Xander stated.

"No it's not," Kate answered. "Your brother got hurt from slamming his door."

She was more trying to convince herself than Xander, but it got him to be quiet. She looked over at him and he looked upset. She picked him up and put him on her lap.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much buddy. And I love your brother too."

"Me too," he said turning toward her. "Is A.J gonna die?"

"No," she answered quickly. "Of course not. He just got hurt. Daddy is gonna make sure that the doctors take really good care of him so he can come home and play with you and Logan."

"I don't like Logan," Xander replied. "He hit me."

"Logan," Kate began. "Did you hit Xander?"

"No," he answered.

"He's lying!" Xander yelled. He ran out of the room and slammed his door. Kate laid down on the couch and sighed deeply. She decided that she would let Xander cry for a little while. She closed her own eyes and could hear that Logan was trying to talk to her, but she was too exhausted to open her eyes. She started dozing off as soon as she closed her eyes.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," Logan started, he was tapping her on the arm. "Mommy! Mommy!"

He started yelling and was now hitting her quite hard for a 2 and a half year old. She opened her eyes and shook her head.

"No hitting Logan," she told him. "Did you hit your brother?"

"No," he answered.

"Don't lie," she replied sitting up and looking at him sternly.

"Yes," he nodded his head and frowned.

"Ok," she sighed. "2 minutes in your room."

"No!" he yelled. "Me hate you momma!"

He ran from the room and went into the room. Kate heard the door close, and she was sure that he had tried slamming it, but it didn't work. Kate put her hands up to her face and then moved them down to her stomach. She was happy that she was pregnant, but not so happy about having 2 out of 3 kids tell her that they hate her. Kate closed her eyes and went to sleep. When she woke up A.J was pinching her arm softly to wake her up.

"Hi," she whispered. "Are you ok sweetie?"

"I gots siches!" he exclaimed.

"Stitches?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, stitches!" he said.

"Did it hurt?" she questioned.

"Yeah!" he answered.

"Where's your daddy?" she asked.

"He's in your room," he replied. "We're supposed to stay out here and play…and you're supposed to go talk to daddy."

Kate smirked and got off of the couch.

"I love you baby," she whispered.

"I love you too momma," he answered. "Sorry I yelled."

"Me too," she stated. She went back into the bedroom. Sawyer was sitting in the bed wearing only his boxers. She smirked and shook her head.

"Hey baby," he said with a smile.

"Hi," she chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"I have a proposition for you," he began. "I talked with the boys and they're gonna give us some time alone. So I say that we have a little bit of victory sex."

"Victory sex?" she asked, still smiling widely.

"Why not?" he questioned standing up and wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her on the lips softly and slowly. He nibbled on her bottom lip and reached his hand down to her ass. He gave it a firm squeeze and Kate let out a squeal.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Can't we do this victory sex thing later? Like after the boys are sleeping?"

"Come on," he whispered. "When was the last time we had sex in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Well it's been a little while, but I don't really relish the risk of the boys walking in on us, or hearing us. Besides, I really would like to know how the hospital went. Is he ok?"

"Yeah," Sawyer sighed. "He had a small piece of glass embedded in his foot, and he had to get 10 stitches. 7 out of the 10 are those inside stitches, that dissolve, but he's gonna have to go back in a week to get the other 3 taken out."

"Is he on any pain killers or anything?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," he nodded. "And I say we give the other boys each a pill too…it's supposed to make them drowsy…and then we can have more time together."

"James," she shook her head. "I'm not drugging my children so that we can have time alone. Logan told me that he hates me."

"Oh hon," he whispered and chuckled. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I don't hate you…neither to our kids. I told them to give us an hour."

"Sawyer they don't know what an hour means," she laughed.

"No," he shook his head. "But they do know what an episode of Sesame Street is."

He rolled over on top of her and started kissing her again. She nodded through the kiss and flipped them over. She held him down with her hands on his shoulders and her legs trapping him.

"I love you," she whispered. "I'm gonna give in to this, but only because I'm so excited that I'm pregnant…and the prospect that we might get caught, kinda makes it hotter."

He kissed her softly and Kate unzipped both of their pants. She pushed her own pants and put her hand on his growing erection. She swung her pants over her head and Sawyer smiled up at her. She tossed them to the side and put her arms around his neck.

"Mommy!" Logan exclaimed and knocked on the door.

"We'll be out in a minute honey," Kate breathed.

"No now!" he yelled. Kate grumbled loudly and went to the door. She opened the door just a crack and looked down at him.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I want a hug," he answered.

"Later," Kate replied. "I'll come hug you in a couple minutes. Me and daddy have to talk for a little while. Go watch TV with your brothers."

Kate turned back around and chuckled. She made sure that the door was locked and ran toward the bed. She jumped onto the bed and onto Sawyer. He groaned loudly as she landed on him.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "You ok?"

"Never better sweet cheeks," he grinned. He kissed her again and this time it was passionate and hungry. Sawyer's pants were on, but Kate pulled them down quickly. Both of their underwear were still on, and Kate breathed hard as he rubbed himself against her.

"Mommy!" this time it was A.J and he was crying. Kate looked down at Sawyer who groaned and shook his head.

"Baby," Kate began. "Daddy and I will be right there."

"But Xander stepped on my foot!" he sobbed. "He hurt me mommy!"

"God dammit," Kate whispered. She rolled off of him and he pulled her back.

"No," he whispered. "Come on. He'll be fine. He will be fine. We'll dole out the punishment after-"

"Fuck this," she replied. She pulled her underwear down and climbed back onto him. They both groaned and moaned softly. Kate was glad that she stayed. She could hear A.J crying on the other side of the door, but she was enjoying Sawyer's touch way too much to back away.

"I'm gonna come," Sawyer whispered into her ear. Kate came when he said that and laid down on top of him. He chuckled and came too. She rolled off of him and laid down next to him, but was still in his arms.

"This is my favorite part," she whispered. "Cuddling."

"Hmm," he began. "If cuddling is the best part for you, then there's something we ain't doin' right."

"Sawyer," she sighed and nudged him playfully. They had been laying in each other's arms for exactly 35 seconds when they heard three pairs of feet running down the hall.

"MOMMY!!" Logan, Xander and A.J all screamed at the same time.

"We're gonna add another voice to that bellowing in a few years," Kate chuckled. She got out of the bed and pulled her clothes on. She went to the door and opened it. All three kids ran into the room and jumped on the bed.

"Mommy," Xander started. "What are you doing?"

"I'm-" she began. "Tickling you!"

She started tickling him until he was laughing so hard that he wasn't breathing and was begging her to stop. She stopped and smiled down at the little boy who was still grinning from ear to ear.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I mean before we got here."

Kate pressed her lips together and Sawyer grinned widely.

"We were practicing," Sawyer began.

"James," Kate warned.

"What?" Xander asked. "What were you practicing mommy?"

"Thanks a lot Sawyer," Kate sighed. "We were practicing our talking."

"Boy to I love the way you talk Freckles," Sawyer murmured into her ear. Kate glared at him again and A.J crawled over to Kate.

"Mommy," he sobbed. "My footie hurts."

"Oh baby," she whispered. "I know…but you were such a brave boy. Do you want some ice cream?"

"Before dinner?" he asked suddenly perking up and stopping his tears.

"As a special treat," Kate nodded.

"Yay!" he flung his arms around her and she stood up, still holding him.

"Me too mommy!" Xander exclaimed.

"Me me!" Logan said pointing at his tummy.

"Good one Kate," Sawyer smirked. "If you give ice cream to one of 'em you gotta give it to everyone. Including me…and last one in there is a rotten egg."

Sawyer jumped out of the bed and started running down the hallway, letting the boys ahead of him. Kate looked at a very disappointed A.J in her arms and ran down the hall. She ran carefully past Logan who ended up falling from running too fast, and ended up beating the kids into the kitchen. Sawyer came in last, obviously on purpose.

"I won!" A.J exclaimed.

"Nuh uh," Xander shook his head. "You cheated. Mommy won. You get last place for cheating…right daddy."

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "I was too slow. Mommy and A.J were on a team."

"Well that's no fair!" Xander exclaimed.

"Well," Kate said, setting A.J down. "We're all gonna get the same prize. One scoop of ice cream."

"2!" A.J argued.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "You mind your momma. One scoop, or you're gonna spoil your dinner."

"I don't care," A.J answered.

"Well I do," Sawyer interrupted before Kate could chime in. "Sit up here."

Sawyer lifted A.J into a chair and Kate put a bowl of ice cream in front of each child. They each got the same amount, but spent 10 minutes arguing over who got more. By the time they started eating it, it was chocolate soup.

"Baby," Sawyer whispered, stepping toward Kate. "You're having a baby."

"I know," she said with a squeak in her voice.

That night, Sawyer was sleeping soundly. Kate wasn't satisfied with their afternoon love-making and she got out of bed to get her vibrator. She didn't want to wake Sawyer up, and somehow, using the vibrator while Sawyer slept next to her excited her. She knew that she could get caught and probably would, but that only made things that much better. She got out of bed and walked over to the closet. She didn't keep her vibrator hidden for any other reason, other than the fact that the kids might find it and ask questions. She and Sawyer frequently used it in their sex life. They even named it Herman as a joke. Usually Sawyer would say 'Is Herman joining us tonight?' And Kate would just laugh. Sawyer sometimes showed that he was somewhat jealous, but Kate always assured him that he was bigger and better. She turned it on before she got back into bed so that Sawyer didn't hear it at first. He stirred slightly, but rolled over and didn't seem to notice that Kate was getting back into the bed. She slowly and carefully took her underwear off, moving ever so slowly, so as not to wake Sawyer further. She pushed the vibrator against herself and breathed in deep and sharply.

"Fuck," she said aloud, but still quietly. She pushed it all the way in quickly and started panting quietly. She closed her eyes and touched herself as the vibrator stimulated her as well. She didn't feel Sawyer move next to her, but she felt his hand go over hers.

"What are you doing?" he whispered. She didn't say anything, and could only let out a loud moan. Her moans got louder, until Sawyer put a hand over her mouth.

"Shh," he whispered. "Sweetheart, why do you 'toy' with me?"

"Because I fucking love Herman in me, but I want you in me…I need you to fuck me Sawyer…but you were fast asleep."

"Do you want me now?" he asked. "Or would you like to finish with your little substitute."

"Both," she answered. She pushed his hand away and started moving the vibrator in herself. She opened her eyes and watched him. She could tell that he was getting very excited watching her pleasure herself, especially since she was looking into his eyes. She screamed as she came and she pulled the vibrator out of herself and pulled Sawyer on top of her, and he was forced to push into her.

"Now," she moaned. "Fuck me hard. Do it Sawyer."

He pulled completely out of her and then pushed all the way back in. She started moaning again, and this time it was high pitched, and very loud. Sawyer was hoping the kids didn't wake up because this time he had no intention of trying to quiet her down. He started whispering into her ear.

"I love to push my thick hard cock into you," he whispered. "And we make the most beautiful babies. I'm gonna fuck you every night until you give birth. You feel so tight right now and it feels so damn good. I feel like I'm fucking you for the first time."

"You are," she whispered and closed her eyes. "Pretend with me…we're back in your bed in the apartment. I'm worried about how big you are…I'm scared it will hurt."

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "It feels so damn good. I've never had a bigger and better cock in me."

He kissed her lips and ran his hands over her body and down between them. He started playing with her clit and she started moaning even louder. He kissed her mouth to muffle her moans, but she only moaned louder. She finally came and so did he. She reached her hand down and felt how wet they both were. He pulled out of her and she continued to hold her hand against herself.

"What are you doing now?" he chuckled, kissing her lips.

"I can't help it," she shook her head. "I'm amazed at how wet you make me. Every night. I get wet just thinking about you sometimes."

"Do you ever have wet dreams?" he asked into her ear.

"I have wet dreams almost every night," she nodded. "Because I dream of how you touch me and what you do to me, and I automatically have to touch myself in my sleep."

He chuckled again and held her in his arms. The smell of sex hung over them, which only made Kate want to have sex for a second time, but she closed her eyes and slept.

The next day when Sawyer drove up to the house. He brought Kate a bouquet of flowers and went into the house. Once again there was silence when he got home. It almost reminded him of 3 weeks ago when Kate met him in the bedroom for sex. He set the flowers down on the counter.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. He noticed that Kate was sitting on the couch. He walked over to the couch, bringing the flowers with him. He sat down next to her and handed her the flowers.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"What's wrong darlin'?" he asked.

"Would you fuck me right now?" she questioned scooting over to him and straddling his legs. She kissed him messily and started sucking on his tongue and lips. "Will you fuck me?"

"Kate," he mumbled through her lips and backed away.

"Just fuck me," she sobbed.

"Freckles," he sighed. "What the hell happened?"

"I got my fucking period," she answered. "But I don't care. I need you."

"Whoa," he shook his head. "How? You took the damn pregnancy test. And you're late…you're like a week late. How did that happen?"

"I don't know," she replied. "All I know is that I'm not pregnant."

He sighed softly and held her in his arms.

"Fuck me," she said to him. "Don't even love me…just fuck me…I need your cock."

"Freckles," he stated touching her face.

"Fine!" she exclaimed. "I'll just go fuck Herman."

"Kate!" he called after her but she ran down the hallway and slammed their door shut. He heard the door lock and he went into the bathroom to get one of Kate's hairpins. The kids were all gone, which Sawyer only figured they were with Jill, because Kate needed to tell him about her not being pregnant without 3 kids there to interrupt them. He went to the door and started working at the door knob with the hairpin. It fell through and he grumbled to himself. He got another hairpin out and started working at the door knob again. This time it worked and Sawyer saw Kate sprawled on the bed with the vibrator in her hand, but she wasn't using it, in fact she was still fully clothed, she was only sobbing gently. He walked over to her and knelt in front of her.

"Kate," he started. "Listen to me. Calm down…we will try again. We'll go to the doctor and see if she can put you on some medicine or do something. It's gonna be fine."

"I just don't understand why," she sobbed. "The goddamn pregnancy test said yes. We were just so happy yesterday. We had fucking victory sex in the middle of the afternoon, while the kids were still awake."

"Babe," he shook his head. "It's gonna be ok. We'll figure it out. We'll have sex every night until you get pregnant."

"We have sex every night anyway," she sniffled. "I'm not meant to have a baby girl."

Sawyer really couldn't say anything that he hadn't already said. He had told her umpteen times that she deserved to have a daughter, and that they would eventually have the daughter she wanted, but it always seemed to go into one ear and out the other. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and just held her. She had stopped crying because she felt dumb about crying, but she let him hold her.

**A/N: What'd you think? Yay? Nay? Blah? More? Hehe. I hope ya'll are enjoying it. I can't flipping wait for tomorrow/today. I have to wake up at 8:00 am tomorrow (Thursday) for a doctor's appointment so that sucks a lot, but Lost will definitely make up for it. Skate forever and ever and ever…I'm really really hoping to get some cute Skate scenes coming up because there has definitely been a drought. Anyway please please please review!!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Ok so this chapter is a little short, but I'll probably make the next one longer. I hope you all enjoy it immensely.**

Sawyer was at work. It was almost time to go home. He only had 30 more minutes. His sous chef Katerina kept flirting with him, which he did find flattering, but at the same time he wanted her to leave him alone.

He was leaving the restaurant and he felt someone walking behind him. He knew it was Katerina. He chuckled lowly to himself and turned around.

"What are you doing Katerina?" he asked.

"Please James," she started. "We've been working together now for how many months? Call me Kat."

"I'd really rather not," he answered. "Why are you following me? You've still got another hour left in there?"

"I know," she sighed. "James…I'm very attracted to you…and I can pretty much give you anything you want, any time you want it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked. "I'm married. You know that."

"I don't care," she whispered. "I really don't care about those things. In fact, I'm married too. But we all know that old married couples don't have hot sex anymore-"

"I beg to differ," he shook his head. "Me and Kate have an excellent sex life…she's more than enough for me. Now if you hit on me again, I'll report you to Roberto and file a sexual harassment complaint."

"Oh come on!" she exclaimed. "Sexual harassment?"

"If you leave me alone then it shouldn't be a problem right?" he asked.

"Ok…Mr. Ford," she said professionally and smoothing out her skirt. "I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"Sure thing," he smirked. Sawyer drove home and noticed that Kate's car wasn't in the driveway. He went into the house and Logan jumped up in to his arms.

"Hi daddy!" he exclaimed.

"Hey Mini-me," he said. Sawyer called Logan Mini Me…sometimes Mini for short. Logan was exactly like Sawyer. He had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and even a hint of a southern drawl. He acted a lot like Sawyer too. The only trait of Kate's that he did have was a small amount of freckles on his nose. Kate was somewhat jealous of the fact that Sawyer had all the attention from Logan. Logan loved Kate, but if Sawyer was there he always got all the attention.

"Mommy's gone," he told him.

"Where?" he asked. "Are you here by yourself?"

"No," Jill answered for him and walked toward the door. "And thank God you're home. Those kids don't listen."

"They listen to me," he shrugged.

"Well," she began. "They seem to not want to listen to me. Can I leave?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "But first…where's Kate?"

"She went to the doctor," she answered. "She's late. She didn't want to buy an at home pregnancy test because of what happened last time."

"How late is she?" he asked.

"Like a month," she said optimistically. "She's pretty sure that she's pregnant. So get excited."

He smiled at her and shook his head. Jill quickly left and Sawyer went back over to the couch. Logan crawled onto his lap and Sawyer grumbled softly.

"Do I look like a chair?" Sawyer asked.

"Uh huh," Logan nodded, stuck his thumb in his mouth and rested his head against Sawyer's chest. Sawyer couldn't help but think it was absolutely adorable. He looked at Logan who had closed his eyes. He used to idolize his own father this way. He was just hoping that nothing awful would happen.

"Daddy?" A.J limped over to him and sat down on the floor. He had a group of cards in his hands. He showed Sawyer his hand. He had all red cards, but nothing that he could do anything with.

"Is this a good poker hand?" he asked.

"No son," he shook his head. "It's actually kind of a bad hand."

"But they're all red," he argued.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "It's a great hand then."

"See told ya Xander!" he exclaimed.

"No!" Xander argued. "Daddy said it was a bad hand at first, but then he changed his mind only because you're hurt."

"Nuh uh," he argued back.

"Guys," Sawyer whispered. "Your brother is trying to take a quiet nap…why don't you?"

"Can we play cards if we do it quietly?" Xander whispered.

"Yes," he smiled. He was holding Logan loosely, and Logan moved around in Sawyer's arms trying to get more comfortable. Sawyer rubbed his back softly to get him to fall asleep quicker. Sawyer was only sitting in the house for another 20 minutes when he heard the front door open.

"I'm home," Kate said as she walked through the door. Kate walked over to the couch and saw Sawyer sitting with Logan. She smiled at him and sat down.

"How'd things go?" he asked.

"Nope," she sighed.

"Oh sweetheart," he whispered.

"It's ok," she replied. "I'm ok. I made an appointment to go see the fertility specialist tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he asked. "I'm working tomorrow. I kinda wanted to be there with you and what about the kids-"

"Well I was thinking about calling Jill to see if she could take care of the kids," she started. "But you don't have to come with me…it's just a boring meeting. It's not like were gonna make any decisions."

"It's ok," he shook his head. "I'll just call work and tell them that I'll be late or whatever."

"Sawyer, you don't have to do that."

"Come on," he started. "I want to. Don't you want someone there with you to hold your hand and a second pair of ears just in case you don't remember everything?"

"God," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Freckles," he said touching her face softly. "That's why we're in this together Kate. I know it's cheesy and lame when couples say _we're _pregnant…but that's how I kinda feel with this one. It's gonna be just as exciting for me as it will be fore you when you get knocked up."

"Real nice Sawyer," she chuckled. "Knocked up?"

"I'm gonna fuck you tonight," he whispered quietly.

"No swearing in front of the kids," she whispered back.

"Daddy said a bad word!" Xander exclaimed.

"Told you," Kate mumbled.

"Come on," he whispered. He pulled her into a standing position and set Logan back down on the couch so he was laying. He rolled over and put his thumb back into his mouth.

"Are you guys good?" he asked the two boys, who were engrossed in the TV and the card game. Neither of them answered, so Sawyer picked Kate up and slung her over his shoulder. He carried her into the bedroom and tossed her gently onto the bed.

"Do you think you can be quiet?" he asked softly.

"Probably not," she chuckled as he crawled over her and kissed her lips slowly. He moved his hands over her body and she shivered underneath him.

"Are my hands cold?" he asked. "Sorry."

He blew on his hands to heat them up and then went back to touching her. He pulled her pants down over her hips and she smiled because she wasn't wearing any underwear. He looked at her in awe and she smiled wider.

"I sorta had a feeling," she whispered. "I mean…I had this feeling that the doctor was going to tell me I was pregnant and you were gonna wanna have victory sex again…I just figured that no underwear makes it easier."

"Well great minds think alike," he replied. He pushed his own pants down and she saw that he was also not wearing underwear. She smirked at him and he leaned down and put his mouth next to her ear.

"I'm not gonna wait," he told her. With that he pushed into her. She clasped her hands around his neck and moaned softly. Neither of them closed their eyes and Kate watched him intently as he moved up and down on her. They both heard the door open and quickly Sawyer rolled them over to their sides, but managed to stay inside her.

"Mommy?" A.J asked.

"Yeah," she breathed.

"What are you and daddy doing?" he asked.

"We're takin' a little nap buddy," Sawyer answered for her. "We'll be out in a little bit ok?"

"Ok," he answered.

"Jeez," Kate whispered. "I thought you locked the door."

"I thought you did sweetheart," he answered rolling back over on top of her. She started panting softly and she closed her eyes as she came to climax. He smiled down at her and she opened her eyes again. He rolled off of her and opened his arms for her to fall into.

The next day at the doctor he told them both that he wasn't sure why Kate wasn't getting pregnant. They were both still healthy, and the doctor didn't want to start anything drastic quite yet. Even though they had been trying now for 8 months, the doctor said that they were going to have to wait 2 more months and then he would start Kate on fertility drugs. Sawyer wasn't entirely excited when the doctor told them that once she was on the drugs the chances of them having more than one child at once was doubled. She wasn't that excited about that prospect either, but she just wanted a baby girl.

Sawyer went in to work and Katerina hardly even looked at him. He knew that it was probably a little harsh to tell her he'd report her, but after everything that he and Kate had gone through he didn't want to take any chances. He refused to let anyone come between them.

"Katerina can I have a word with you?" he asked.

"Sure," she sighed. "What am I in trouble for standing too close to you?"

"Rina," he began. "Can I call you Rina instead of Kat?"

"Whatever," she mumbled and shrugged.

"Listen," he started again. "I am really flattered that you find me so irresistible, but I am married. Me and Kate have gone through so much and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we've already overcome."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was out of line...God, I'm such a mess. I just...my husband and I aren't really doing great. We haven't had sex in over 4 months."

"4 months?!" he asked, much louder than he meant to. They both let out laughs and Sawyer lowered his voice. "4 months? Damn girl, go buy a vibrator."

"I could go to Roberto for sexual harassment now," she told him.

"Damn," he sighed. "Touché."

"I'm sorry James," she shook her head. "I'll leave you alone."

"Well we can still be friends," he shrugged. "I mean come on. We work together. We have to see each other every day. I want to be able to talk to you without feeling awkward."

"Ok," she nodded. "Sorry."

"Let's just go back out there and do a good lunch service."

"Ok," she smiled.

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer got home and was greeted by a crying Logan at the door. Sawyer knew that Kate had gone to the doctor that day to find out if she was pregnant. He had a really bad feeling that Kate was most likely not pregnant.

"Daddy," he sobbed. Sawyer picked him up and held him tightly. The other two kids weren't there. Sawyer carried Logan over to the couch and sighed softly. Kate was sitting on the couch with a bottle of liquor. Sawyer recognized it as the bottle of whiskey. She took another swig as Sawyer sat down, still holding Logan.

"What's the matter mini," Sawyer whispered. Logan didn't answer, but instead just sobbed onto Sawyer's shoulder. Logan hid his face from Kate. "Where are the twins?"

"Down the street," she murmured. "They made friends with a boy down the street today."

"Thank god," he whispered. Kate looked at Sawyer and put her hand on his leg and started moving it up and down.

"Logan, go away," Kate slurred. Logan gripped tighter on Sawyer's neck and started crying harder.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from her and scoffed at her again. She carefully pried Logan from Sawyer's arms and climbed on Sawyer's lap. She kissed him hard and nipped at him.

"Logan go to your room," Kate said quietly. Logan ran from the living room and Kate went back to kissing Sawyer.

"Kate what the fuck is wrong with you?" Sawyer asked. "What are you doing? You are so drunk right now."

"Logan will be fine," she shook her head. "I'm so horny right now. And I want to fuck you right here on the couch. The other kids are down the street at their friend's house. I'm going to fuck you before they come back."

"You made our 3 year old cry," he told her.

"He's gonna be just fine," she whispered. "I'm gonna fuck you James." She pushed her pants down quickly and then pulled his down too before he could even begin to protest a third time. She climbed back on to his lap and pushed himself on to him in one single movement. She screamed in ecstasy and he moaned just as loudly. He liked that she was being so forceful and had actually managed to out strengthen him. He would have continued to protest, but now there was no point. He was already inside her and she did feel damn good. He pushed all thoughts of Logan from his mind, because he figured that Kate wasn't thinking about him either.

She tore her shirt off and she wasn't wearing a bra. He chuckled softly as she moved her hips over him. She bent all the way back so she was laying on his legs. He loved when she did that, although she didn't do it much, because they didn't have a lot of chances to have sex on the couch. She ran her own hands up her body and moaned. He groaned loudly as he watched her. He wasn't doing anything except growing hard and getting ready to come.

"I'm not pregnant," Kate moaned. "But I'm so horny and drunk right now. You're so thick and hard Sawyer. Do you like fucking me?"

"Well," he whispered. "Seems to me that you're doing all the work right now Kate."

"Kiss me," she whispered. "Kiss my mouth and then I want your mouth all over my clit."

"Jesus Christ," he moaned, he came quickly and then stood up, bringing her with him.

"No," she shook her head. "Not in the bedroom. Right here."

"Ok," he whispered. He kissed her lips and then flipped her over so she was sitting on the couch. He knelt in front of her with his hands on her knees. "I love the way you taste Kate."

She pushed against him as he started touching her with his tongue. She grabbed a throw pillow and pushed it against her face to muffle her moans. The sounds that he was making as he loved her with his mouth was making her moan even louder into the pillow. She came apart and he stood up and looked at her in satisfaction.

"We have to fuck tonight too," she told him. "We have to fuck all night."

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Because I'm gonna get pregnant without any damn drugs Sawyer. I have to," she said with a sniffle.

They both started getting dressed and Sawyer noticed that Logan was still crying. It had only lasted about 10 minutes because of how wet she had been when they started, but now he felt bad for letting Logan cry. He started walking toward the bedrooms.

"Where are you going sexy?" he asked.

"Well," he began. " 'Sexy' is going to check on our son who seems to be pretty upset."

"Oh," she whispered. "I'm a terrible mother. No wonder I'm not getting pregnant. I'm a bad mom."

"No you're not," he shook his head as she started sobbing. "You're just drunk. It happens to the best of us Kate. Let's go see if he's ok."

"Alright," she murmured. "But first I gotta go to the bathroom."

Kate stood up and ran past Sawyer into the bathroom. Sawyer went into Logan's room and he was still crying. He wrapped his arms and legs around Sawyer's one leg. Sawyer sighed softly and picked him up.

"I hate momma!" he exclaimed. "She mean!"

"Oh Mini Me," he whispered. "Mommy is sorry. She's just sad right now. You know what you should do…you should give her a big hug when she comes in here."

"No," he whined.

"Mommy where are you!" Xander yelled.

"In Logan's room!" Sawyer yelled back. Xander and A.J came into the bedroom and looked at their crying baby brother.

"Where's mommy?" Xander asked.

"Mommy is in the potty. She doesn't feel good," Sawyer responded. "I'm gonna go see if she's ok."

"Can we come?" A.J asked.

"Not right now A," Sawyer shook his head. "Why don't you stay in here with Logan and me and momma will come back in a minute."

Sawyer walked into the bathroom and saw that Kate didn't exactly make it to the toilet before she puked. She was laying with her face pressed against the side of the cold porcelain bathtub, and Sawyer didn't see any evidence of her vomit making it into the toilet.

"I puked," she whispered.

"I see that Freckles," he chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me," she whined.

"Come here," he sighed. He picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. "Sleep this off."

"Can we still have sex tonight?" she asked.

"Well as long as you promise not to puke on me," he laughed again. "Tell you what…if you're feeling better, and if you're not too hung over I'll think about it."

"Is Logan ok?" she sobbed as he started covering her with the comforter.

"See?" he whispered. "That's the Kate that we all know and love. You're a worried and concerned parent. Logan is just fine. He'll totally get over all the things you said to him. I'll see you later."

Sawyer walked back out into the hallway and was greeted by all 3 boys. He shut the door behind him and ran toward the kids. He picked up Xander in one arm, and A.J by his overalls.

"Me dadada!" Logan exclaimed

"Dadada?" Sawyer asked. "Who's that?"

Logan started laughing and they all went back into the living room. Sawyer spent the afternoon trying to teach Xander and A.J how to play poker. He decided finally that it would be easier to teach them War and Go Fish instead. Logan wouldn't get off Sawyer's lap, which partly Sawyer liked, but part of him didn't . He made the kids and himself dinner. He decided to let Kate sleep, especially if she wanted to have sex later. He put the kids to bed by himself, which Logan didn't mind, but the twins both wanted Kate to hug and kiss them. After almost 15 minutes of arguing they finally went to bed without Kate tucking them in.

Sawyer walked back into the bedroom and Kate was still sleeping soundly. He decided that he would let her sleep for a little while and then at 10:30 he would go see if she was ok and still breathing. He watched TV by himself. It was almost 10:30, when he felt Kate's arms come around him from behind. He turned toward her and smiled. She bent down and kissed him softly, but he backed away quickly.

"Baby," he chuckled.

"I know," she interrupted. "I need to go brush my teeth. Got it. I'm gonna go take a shower, and then I'll be ready for you big boy. I'm gonna go kiss the kids goodnight too. I know it's like 3 hours past their bedtime, but I didn't kiss them goodnight…I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"I'm sure of that too Freckles," he smiled. "Xander and A.J didn't want to go to sleep without you."

"Aww," she said. "That's so sweet."

Sawyer was in bed waiting for Kate. She was gone for about 35 minutes before the door opened. She was wearing her 'Kat' costume which made him really excited. He and Kat hadn't done anything in a while. She walked toward him with a slight bounce to her walk. Sawyer couldn't take his eyes off her boobs, which were bouncing slightly as she walked.

"Check this out," she whispered. She was holding a candle that was in what looked kind of like a metal gravy boat. She laid down and set the candle on the end table. Then she picked the candle back up and poured the 'wax' on her stomach.

"What are you doin'?" he asked softly.

"It's massage oil," she grinned. "Do you wanna lather me up Mr. Ford?"

Sawyer started rubbing the massage oil on Kate's stomach and moving his hands up her body. She was still wearing the sheer nighty, but his hands were all over her.

"That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen," Sawyer whispered. Kate untied the nighty and pulled it off of her. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her, but avoiding the spots where the massage oil was.

"You can kiss me everywhere," she told him. "The massage oil is rum flavored."

"Hmm," he said softly. "You're gonna taste good Kat."

"You remembered my name," she said. "That's a first Mr. Ford."

"You're so fucking sexy right now," he told her. She smirked up at him and wrapped her legs around him. He was only wearing a pair of boxers, but his erection was pushing against her. She pushed his boxers down using her legs and feet. Then she put her legs up on his shoulders and he pushed into her as deeply as he could.

**4 More Weeks Later**

Sawyer came into the house and saw that the kids were all in the living room watching TV. He sat down on the couch and all three boys got up on the couch with him.

"Hi daddy!" Logan said excitedly.

"Hey Mini," Sawyer smiled. "Where's your momma?"

"Momma's in the potty," Xander answered. "She said she doesn't feel good again."

"Shit," Sawyer whispered and closed his eyes.

"Bad word daddy!" A.J exclaimed.

"I know," he nodded. "Sorry. I'm gonna go see if mommy's ok…I'll be right back."

Sawyer walked into the bathroom and saw that Kate's head was in the toilet. He walked over to her and put a gentle hand on her back. At first he thought she was crying, but then he realized that she was laughing. Hearing the laughter made him feel a little better, but he was still worried that something had gone terribly wrong.

"What's the matter Kate?" he asked quietly.

"I'm-" she turned toward him. "I went to the doctor today…I haven't had a period in a month, so I went to the doctor. I'm pregnant Sawyer."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm sure."

"Whoo!" he exclaimed and clapped his hands together loudly. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. She was chuckling and he smiled at her. He put his hand on her face and set her back down. She had a wide smile on her face, and her eyes were shining with tears.

"It's real this time," she whispered. "No false alarms. I'm pregnant…with no stupid drugs. I'm pregnant."

**A/N: Ok…so it was so funny because my mom and I were discussing Skate vs. Jate and she was saying how Jack and Kate deserve each other and that Sawyer deserves someone so much better than Kate…like Claire. And she asked me if Claire and Sawyer had a ship name (Although she didn't use those words), and I said "Yeah! They're ConMama, because he's a con man and she's the mama. And my mom was shocked that there were actually people out there who liked Sawyer and Claire together. It was really funny. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and reviews never hurt a thing! So please review! Thanks.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: supersolanea-Thanks for the review. I always like hearing constructive criticism.  
Katie-I'm so glad that the previous chapter was your second favorite. That's awesome!  
Lucyy-Yeah...I think that conmama is cute too, but in the end it's all about Skate!!**

That night Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed. Sawyer was raking his fingers through Kate's hair. She was starting to doze off, and had her arms around him tightly.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

"Finally," he smirked. "What the hell took so damn long?"

"I dunno," she chuckled. "I'm just glad that I finally managed to get pregnant. I mean-I've been such a bitch…to you and the kids."

"Logan doesn't even remember you being mean to him," Sawyer shook his head. "Don't you worry."

"Logan doesn't even like me Sawyer," she sighed.

"Ok," he sighed. "Just calm down. Logan loves you. You're his momma. And when he goes potty you give him 2 M & M's, I only give him one."

"I only give him 2 because he has no interest whatsoever in potty training so I'm eager to get him going on it."

"Alright," he replied. "Changing the subject. So…what do you want this baby to be…a boy or a girl?"

"Haha," she replied. "Very very funny."

"You still wanna name her Caroline?"

"You really don't like that name do you? What's wrong with the name Caroline?" she asked.

"Nothing," he answered. "Nothing at all. It's not that I don't like it...it's just kinda old fashioned. And anyway I was only asking if you still wanted to name our baby that. We can start calling your belly Caroline."

"Sawyer," she smiled widely and leaned up to kiss him. "That is pretty much the cutest thing you've ever said to me…but what if it's another boy?"

"If it's another boy then we can still name him Caroline…maybe Carl," he smiled widely.

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Like you would ever let me name our son Caroline."

"Yeah," he shook his head. "I really wouldn't. Are you kidding me?"

"I really want a daughter," she whispered.

"I know you do baby," he said putting his hand on her face. "We will have a daughter. Even if you have to give birth to 20 more kids."

"I'm glad you have that faith in me," she chuckled. "But this is definitely the last baby I will be having. We're gonna have to do a more permanent birth control."

"Well I'd love to get a vasectomy for you Freckles, but if we don't work out I want to be able to still have kids," he told her with a smile.

"I hate you," she shook her head and hit him in the shoulder.

"No you don't," he whispered. "You know that you love me."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I kinda do…but Sawyer if this is a boy, I seriously…even though I want a girl so badly, I don't want any more kids. 4 kids is more than enough."

"Well," he began. "Do you think little X or Y baby is sleepin'?"

"Why?" she asked. "What do you have in mind?"

"Sex?" he asked quietly. "Slow, sensual, meaningful sex."

"Well, say it that way and you can have sex with me any time you want," she whispered. He kissed her softly. He rolled over on top of her and touched her face with his fingers.

"I love you Kate," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too James," she answered. He continued to only kiss her softly, and didn't make a move toward her pants just yet. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Mommy," Xander sobbed on the other side of the door. Kate got up and went to the door. When she opened the door Xander jumped into her arms, in tears. Kate sighed softly and walked toward the bed, still holding Xander.

"What's the matter baby," she whispered.

"I had a bad dream," he cried. "Can I sleep in here with you and daddy?"

"Yeah," she answered. She put him down between her and Sawyer. She gave Sawyer an annoyed look, but he didn't seem to mind too much, which only made her want him more.

"What was the dream about Xand?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't want to tell you," he said wrapping his arms around Kate and hiding his face. She rubbed Xander's back and held him in her arms. Both Kate and Sawyer saw and heard someone standing in the doorway. It was A.J, sniffling.

"A," Sawyer sighed. "Come here buddy."

"I woke up and Xander was gone!" he exclaimed and sniffled. He ran toward Sawyer's side of the bed. Sawyer picked him up and set him between them too. "I was so scared daddy."

"It's ok sweetie," Kate whispered. "Xander had a bad dream so he's gonna stay in here with me and daddy for a while."

"Me too," he said.

"Ok," she chuckled. "You can stay too."

"Go get Logan too!" Xander said.

"No," Kate shook her head. "I'm not waking Logan up right now. And this bed ain't big enough for all of us anyway."

"Hate you mommy!" Logan was standing in the doorway. He turned back around and ran down the hall. Kate quickly got out of the bed and ran down the hall after him. She grabbed him and blew a raspberry on his neck.

"Don't tell me that you hate me," she whispered. "Because I love you so so much."

"Nuh uh," he sobbed.

"Yuh huh!" Kate exclaimed. She kissed him and carried him back into the bedroom. She held him tightly even though he continued to try and get away.

"I think," Kate whispered. "We should have a little sleepover."

"Yay!" Xander exclaimed.

"I want daddy!" Logan said. Kate sighed softly and let go of Logan. Sawyer hugged Logan and chuckled at Kate. Logan put his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes.

"It's official," Kate said. "Logan likes you best. And he hates me most."

"I don't," Xander stated. "I like you best momma. Daddy is mean to us."

"What?" Sawyer asked with a scoff. "Am not."

"Shh!" Xander said putting his finger to his lips. "It's a trick daddy," he whispered. "Right A.J, we love mommy more than Logan. Mommy is way better than daddy."

"Yeah!" A.J exclaimed and followed his brother's lead.

"Oh thank you," she replied with a smile. Xander hugged her tightly and so did A.J.

"Mommy loves us best Logan," A.J said looking toward Logan. Logan started whining, and hiding his face further into Sawyer.

"Go hug mommy," Sawyer whispered.

"No," he whined. "She likes Ander and A.J better."

"I think she really wants a hug from her favorite 3 year old," he replied quietly.

"Momma," Logan started. "Hug?"

"I would love a hug Logan," she smiled. He crawled back over to her, and pushed his brothers out of the way. He laid down in Kate's arms and again put his thumb in his mouth. Xander and A.J both started whining when Logan took their place away from them.

"Logan!" Xander exclaimed. "You don't even like mommy…let me cuddle with her."

Logan let out another whine and clung on to Kate tighter. Xander started trying to push Logan out of the way. Logan only gripped Kate's neck tighter and started squealing angerly. Kate looked at her 5 year old and shook her head.

"Xander," Kate began. "We can cuddle in just one minute ok I promise."

"I'm sleeping in my room," Xander said. He got out of the bed and walked quickly from the room. Kate and Sawyer let him go for now, but both of them made a deal that they would go see if he was sleeping and ok in a few minutes. It had only been 5 minutes when Xander came back into the room. He silently crawled on the bed between Sawyer and Kate.

"Sorry mommy," he whispered.

"I love you Alexander," she told him. She was still holding Logan, but she reached her hand to him and put her hand on the back of his head and rubbed it softly.

The kids all went to sleep quickly. Kate and Sawyer stayed awake looking at each other and whispering very quietly. Sawyer reached out and took Kate's hand in his. He ran his thumb softly against the back of her hand.

"I love you Freckles," he whispered. "Tomorrow morning I'll wake you up to my lips."

Kate smiled and shook her head. He kissed her hand gently and they went to sleep.

In the morning Sawyer woke up to Xander's feet in his face. A.J was draped over Kate's waist and Logan was curled up on her chest with his arms around her head. He couldn't believe that Kate had slept through it. He carefully stood up and picked up Xander who was the closest, and easiest child to pick up without waking up Kate. He mumbled something incoherent, and Sawyer carried him back to his bed. He set him down and then went back to the bedroom to get the next child. He carefully took Logan's arms from around Kate's head.

"Daddy!" Logan whined.

"Shh," he said gently. "Don't wake up your momma. It's really early so we're gonna get some more sleep ok?"

"Kay," Logan murmured and went back to sleep in Sawyer's arms as Sawyer carried him back to his own bedroom. He set him down in the bed and pulled Logan's arms from around his neck. Then he went back for A.J. A.J had wrapped his legs around one of Kate's legs and was holding on to her tightly. Sawyer started trying to pick A.J up, and he started whining and clinging on to Kate. Sawyer finally got him off of Kate still without waking her up. He took A.J into his room and set him down and started leaving the room.

"Daddy?" A.J whispered.

"Yeah," he said turning back toward A.J.

"I love you," he stated quietly.

"Oh I love you too buddy," Sawyer replied stepping back toward him and holding out his hand. A.J gave him a low five and went back to sleep. Sawyer left the room and shut the door behind him. Then he went into his own room and shut and locked the door. He crawled carefully over Kate's body, managing to not touch her. He kissed her lips softly. She wasn't responding at first, but suddenly she woke up with a loud gasp.

"Shh," he chuckled. "It's me."

"Hi," she smiled putting her hand against his face. He bent back down and kissed her lips again. She wrapped her arms around him and flipped them over so she was on top of him. She smiled down at him and chuckled softly, but didn't say a word. He gently pushed the hair out of her face and kissed her lips again. She moved against him and then flipped back over.

"Will you do me a favor?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Fuck me with your tongue. I just want your tongue in me."

He kissed her mouth hard and didn't go anywhere near her pants. She moaned softly from the sensualness of the kiss. He didn't act like he was going to go for her pants anytime soon. He just kept his hands near her neck and cheeks. She backed away from the kiss and smiled up at him.

"Please," she said out loud.

"All in good time Freckles," he replied. He went back to kissing her lips and then moved down her neck. Kate reached her hand between them and pushed it into her pajama pants. Sawyer grinned at her and sat back to watch her.

"Keep kissing me," she requested.

"I like watchin' you better babe," he whispered. Kate closed her eyes and continued to play with herself. She sighed softly and then opened her eyes.

"Are the kids sleeping?" she asked quietly. "Because I want it to be you who makes me come. Gimme your hand."

As if he was in some sort of trance Sawyer reached his hand toward Kate's. She took his hand in hers and pushed it into her pants. He bent down again and kissed her lips without using his tongue. She pushed him up and smiled.

"Why aren't you kissing me with your tongue?" she whispered, and turned it into a moan as he pushed his fingers into her.

"I'm resting it," he answered. He started moving his fingers in her and she came apart. He kissed her gently and chuckled. He started kissing her down her body and moving toward her stomach and then went lower. She put her hands on her stomach as he moved between her legs. She moaned loudly as his mouth went over her. She came almost as soon as he touched her, but he didn't stop. It was almost too much for her to bear, but she didn't want him to stop. He went back up her body and kissed her once more.

"Is it your turn?" she asked.

"Let's do it in the shower Freckles," he replied. He took her by the hand and lead her toward the door. He started kissing her and they made their way down the hall and into the bathroom. When they went into the bathroom they heard Xander scream. The door was opened so they had no idea that he was in there.

"Mommy I'm in the potty!" he exclaimed.

Kate ran from the room since she wasn't wearing any bottoms and went back to the bedroom. Sawyer let out a chuckle and shut the door. He waited outside for Xander to leave the bathroom. He heard the toilet flush, but didn't hear the running of the faucet.

"Alexander," Sawyer said as Xander left the bathroom.

"What daddy?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Wash your hands," Sawyer answered.

"Ok ok," he mumured. Xander went back into the bathroom and started washing his hands without closing the door. Xander hopped off the stool in the bathroom and started quickly going toward his room. Sawyer reached out and grabbed his arm gently.

"One more thing buddy," he started.

"What daddy?" Xander scoffed, this time becoming almost agitated.

"Don't you talk to your daddy like that," Sawyer said crossing his arms. "I want to tell you that the next time you have to go potty, you need to shut the door so that your momma or anyone knows someone is in there."

"Ok daddy," he sighed. "Why does this house have to have girls?"

"Because," he began. "I think mommy would look pretty silly as a boy."

Xander giggled and covered his mouth with his hands. Then he went to his room and shut the door. Sawyer shook his head and walked back to his and Kate's room. She was sitting on the bed, still wearing no underwear, and just looking like she was waiting for him to come back.

"He's fine," Sawyer chuckled. "I don't think he even saw anything, so he's not scarred for life, I promise."

She smiled up at him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him too. He walked with her back into the bathroom, and this time the coast was clear. He shut the door and locked it and put Kate down. Kate tore off her shirt and Sawyer eagerly got undressed too.

"Wait," she whispered. "Let's take a bath instead of a shower."

Kate plugged the tub and stood in front of him to wait for the tub to fill. He stepped toward her and wrapped her arms around her.

"I have an idea," he whispered. "I think we should videotape it tonight."

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Why not?" he questioned. "I told you. I like watching you. And we have a video camera. Let's just do it."

"Ok," she smiled and nodded.

After the tub filled Sawyer got in first, and Kate got in on top of him. She was facing him. She started kissing him, and touching his erection with both her hands. Sawyer shut the shower curtain.

"Just in case we have any visitors," he whispered.

"You locked the door," she chuckled.

"Oh," he nodded. "Oh yeah."

Kate moved against him and continued to kiss his mouth and neck. She lifted herself over him and slipped onto him with ease. She moaned loudly and Sawyer started moving underneath her. He had his hands resting on her ass.

"Momma!" A.J exclaimed starting to pound on the door. "I have to go potty."

"Ok," she said. "Just one minute baby."

Both she and Sawyer were so close to coming so Kate stayed until they both did. She got out of the tub and wrapped her robe around herself. She opened the door and A.J was standing in front of her crying.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. She saw that he had wet his pants.

"No buddy," she shook her head. "I'm sorry. Sawyer-"

Sawyer got out of the tub too and wrapped a towel around himself. Sawyer took A.J by the hand into the bathroom and Kate stepped outside. She heard A.J crying, and felt horribly guilty. Sawyer came back into the room about 10 minutes later.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "He's ok."

"God," she whispered. "We suck!"

"Yeah," he replied into her ear. "You suck really well Freckles."

She shook her head and smirked. He leaned toward her and kissed her this time using his tongue. He put his hands against the back of her neck.

"I think we need to do a renovation," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean," she began. "We need another bathroom, if we're going to be having sex in there. I don't want our children to be taking their baths in a bathtub where we have sex."

"Ew," he shook his head. "That's really gross if you think about it."

"Yeah," she whispered. "It really really is."

Later that night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed with the video camera pointed at them. Kate was smiling and blushing.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I think this might be a little too kinky for me."

"Baby," he shook his head. "You are the hottest girl I've ever met, and you always have the sexiest moves and you buy Kama Sutra and want to fuck any way you could possibly think of. You're kinky enough for this."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess you're right. Kiss me."

He listened to her and kissed her slowly. He ran his hands down her body and quickly pulled her pants off. She chuckled and he pushed his own pants down too. He bent down and kissed her again. This time he didn't stop kissing her. He waited for Kate to ask him to fuck her. He wanted her to say the words, and knew that it was only a matter of time before she did. She could feel his hardness against her and moaned softly.

"Come on baby," he said into her ear. "The whole point of video taping this is to watch and hear it. Start saying things."

"You never talk as dirty as I do," she argued. "Maybe this can be a teaching tool for you. I say that you should start saying some things to me."

"Ok, fair enough," he nodded, he started talking louder. "I want to fuck you Kate. I want my dick inside of you and I want to make you scream and make me want me more than you ever had. Do you like being a movie star Kate. You wanna be a porn star?"

"This is so weird," she chuckled. "That stupid blinking red light keeps staring at me."

"Shh," he shook his head and rubbed against her. His erection was stimulating her clit and she breathed deeply. "Don't think about the camera you sexy little nymph."

He covered her eyes with one hand and started pleasuring her with the other. She started moaning and breathing louder.

"Oh God," she said out loud. "Fuck me Sawyer. Push into me and come hard. I want you to fill me so full that I overflow with your cum."

He quickly pushed into her and she screamed loudly. He uncovered her eyes and started grinding against her softly. She shook her head and flipped them over.

"Fuck me harder big boy," she groaned. "I need you to fuck me way harder than that for me to even feel it."

He flipped them back over and started bouncing up and down on her. She started licking his neck and he moaned.

"I love your cock in me," she said.

"I love it too," he replied and came. She still hadn't come, which sort of surprised him. He touched her nipples with his fingers and she moaned loudly and came. He chuckled and rolled off of her.

"Should we watch it?" he asked.

"Now?" she chuckled. "Sawyer that was probably the shortest sex that we've ever had. Let's just try again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he asked. "Look at the time Kate…it's only 10:00. We have plenty of time to have sex again. I'll wait as long as you need."

"Well let's just cuddle then," she whispered. "We can cuddle and then fuck."

"That's backwards isn't it?" he asked.

"Do you have a problem with that?" she questioned.

"Not one problem what so ever," he smirked. He kissed her gently and pulled her closer. He started running his hand through her hair and down her back. His fingers inched toward her butt and she shook her head and pushed his hand away.

"Be good," she whispered. "You know what…I have a present for you. I was gonna wait till tomorrow, for your birthday, but I can give you an early birthday gift."

"Well," he began. "In 2 hours, it will officially be the 30th."

Kate smirked and kissed him. She rolled over on top of him and continued to kiss him passionately. She laid down on top of him and wrapped her arms around him. He reached his hand between them and teased her. She gasped and chuckled.

"Naughty," she whispered. "We're supposed to be cuddling right?"

"You're laying, completely naked on top of me Freckles," he reminded her. "I can't help it. I remember when you once told me that you were addicted to my sex. Well I'm just as addicted baby."

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she whispered. "Wash all this sweat off of me. I'll be back in time to wish you a happy birthday."

She got out of the bed, and stayed naked. She went to the closet and picked up a shopping bag and left the room. Sawyer shook his head, and he wanted to follow her, but he didn't. He was very intrigued by what was in the bag, but he decided that he could wait. He watched the minutes tick down on the clock. He picked up his book and began to read. He looked at the clock and it was 11:30. Kate had been gone for almost and hour and a half. Sawyer was wondering where the hell she was, he stood up and went toward the bathroom.

"Daddy," Logan asked quietly.

"What is it buddy?" Sawyer asked.

"Will you read to me?"

"Lo it's 11:00 at night," Sawyer said quietly. Logan screamed loudly and threw himself on the floor. He wasn't crying, but he was throwing a tantrum and started screaming. Sawyer sighed deeply and picked him up.

"What's going on out there?" Kate called from the bathroom.

"Nothing," Sawyer called back. He carried Logan back into his room and put him in the bed.

"Logan," he whispered. "Calm down."

"No!!" he yelled. "You hate me!"

He flipped toward the wall and curled himself up into a ball. Sawyer reached over and put his arms around the small child. He started smacking Sawyer's hand away, without much luck.

"Logan," he whispered. "Calm down."

"No," he said, quieter than he had been, but still upset and crying. "You hate me."

"Logan I don't hate you," Sawyer replied. "You're my little man. I love you."

"You call me mini, not Logan," he pouted.

"Oh," Sawyer sighed. "You're upset because I called you Logan?"

"Yeah," he whined.

"Well I'm sorry if that made you think that I hate you," Sawyer half chuckled. "But I don't hate you at all. You're my mini-me…so if I hated you then that would mean that I hate myself too, and that would be pretty silly wouldn't it."

"Uh huh," Logan nodded. "Daddy can you read me a story?"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. Logan let out another yell and started hitting Sawyer with his fists as hard as his little hands could.

"Logan Ford you stop that right now!" Sawyer finally had to yell back. He grabbed Logan by the wrists to force him to stop hitting. "It is very late. It is way past your bedtime and you need to learn that I'm not gonna read to you every time you throw a tantrum."

Sawyer got out of the bed, and now Logan was crying so hard he wasn't taking a breath. Sawyer sighed deeply and ran his hands through his own hair. Logan took a deep breath and kept crying. He put his face in his pillow and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Goodnight," Sawyer said quietly. He left the room and shut the door. He sat down right outside the door and put his head down on his knees. He felt a small hand touch his shoulder. He chuckled softly to himself and looked up at Xander.

"Daddy," Xander started. "Is Logan in trouble?"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "He's just throwing a little tantrum right now. Did he wake you and A up?"

"Not A.J," he answered.

"Why don't you go back to bed buddy, it's really late?"

"How late?" Xander asked.

"No more stalling," Sawyer warned. "Go back to bed."

"Night daddy," Xander said quietly and ran from the room into his own room. Sawyer stood up and went to the bathroom door. He knocked softly and Kate opened the door a crack.

"Go away," she stated. "I have to wait till midnight…you've still got at least 15 minutes."

Sawyer went back into the bedroom and laid down to wait for Kate. It was 12:00 exactly and there was a soft knock at the bedroom door. Sawyer sat up and got ready.

"Come in," he said. The door opened, and instead of Kate standing in front of him, there was a puffy-eyed Logan.

"Daddy," Logan whispered. Logan walked toward Sawyer's side of the bed. "I sorry daddy."

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. He picked him up and hugged him tightly. "I love you mini. You're forgiven. Let's get you back to bed."

"No," he shook his head. "Mommy said you stay here."

"Ok," he whispered. "Goodnight Mini Me."

"Goodnight dada," Logan replied and left the room quickly.

Sawyer leaned back into the pillow and waited for Kate to return. He knew that she was probably tucking Logan back into bed. When Kate came into the room she was wearing her ordinary white robe. She shut the door and locked it, and then she walked over to the camera and made sure it was turned on. She walked toward Sawyer and smiled widely.

"You naked under that Freckles?" he asked.

"Nearly," she whispered. She took off the robe and was wearing very skimpy red underwear and a red lacy bra. She was also wearing white thigh highs and a pair of shiny red high heels. She knelt onto the bed and kissed him softly.

"Very sexy Freckles," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "I have to say, that these underwear are pretty much the most uncomfortable things I've ever worn in my entire life. But I bought them just to make you hot."

"It's definitely workin' for you baby," he murmured. "Do you need help out of them?"

"Not just yet," she chuckled. "I read that having sex with high heels on is supposed to be pretty sexy…so I'm gonna keep them on."

She straddled his legs and started kissing him again. He put his hands on her butt cheeks, which weren't covered by the underwear.

"Happy birthday baby," she said into his mouth. He started kissing her again. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard tonight Sawyer, and you're gonna be so exhausted after tonight that you're gonna sleep all day tomorrow."

She reached between them and pushed her hand roughly into his boxers. He groaned as she started kissing him and touching him at the same time. He flipped them over and started kissing her neck and moving his hands down toward her underwear.

"You're uncomfortable?" he asked. "Let's change that, and get you out of these uncomfortable, yet sexy underwear."

He pushed her underwear off and then started touching her. She let out a low, but loud moan. He chuckled at her and started kissing her down her neck and to her breast. He licked her nipple until she was panting so much, it almost sounded like she was hyperventilating, and then he moved to the other one.

"Put your tongue in me Sawyer," she said loudly. "I'm so wet and ready for you and I taste so good. I want you to taste me and then kiss me so that I can taste it too."

He moaned and then moved down her body. He teased her by just using his breath and not putting his mouth near enough to her. He sat up all the way and started running his hands on Kate's legs, which were still covered by the thigh highs. He bent back down and moved his tongue down her stomach and then kissed and licked her clit. She screamed loudly and Sawyer was sure she had probably woken up the kids, but he didn't care, and he kept going. He thrust his tongue into her with hard and quick movements. She turned her head toward the camera and watched the camera until he made her come. When she came she sat up quickly and pushed Sawyer into a sitting position. They were sitting across from each other and Kate lowered her head down to start sucking on him. She didn't tease or wait until taking all of him into her mouth. He groaned down at her and watched as her head was in his lap.

"I thought you wanted to taste yourself on my lips," he mumbled as she continued to work on him. She didn't say anything but only continued to suck on him. He groaned one more time before he came. Kate could always tell when he was about to come. She swallowed and then sat quickly back up to kiss his mouth. He still tasted like her. He moaned when he tasted himself on Kate's tongue and lips.

"I love the way you taste," she whispered. "I love the way your cock tastes, and the way that your mouth tastes."

He pushed her down so she was laying and she opened her legs widely. He let out a sharp breath and shook his head.

"Not quite yet baby," he whispered. "I gotta wait. But I can kiss you forever."

They continued to kiss and run their hands up and down each other's bodies. Sawyer moved his hands underneath her so he could cup her ass with his hands.

"F-" she started. "Fuck me James."

"I can fuck you with Herman while we wait," he offered.

"Yes," she nodded. He got up off the bed and went to the closet quickly. He came back with the vibrator and looked at her with a large smirk. He pushed it into her with one quick movement and she moaned. She arched her back and put her hand on top of his as he moved the vibrator. He brought her to the very edge of climax and pulled the vibrator out of her quickly. She breathed deeply and was expecting him to be ready to have him in her, but he still waited. He didn't even touch her. He stopped kissing her and just sat back and watched her as she waited for him to start touching her again.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"You can wait," he assured her.

"I want you in me," she said out loud. "I want your dick right now. You are so much better than that damn hunk of plastic. Fuck me Sawyer."

"What do you say," he whispered.

"Please," she stated.

"Yes," he replied. "Good girl."

He pushed himself into her hard. She wrapped her legs around him and pushed her feet against his ass. She was still wearing her high heels, and she was right, it did somehow make it hotter. He moved in and out of her and kept kissing her lips and jaw. They both came simultaneously and Kate carefully pushed him off of her. She reached her hands down to her feet and took off the high heels and the thigh highs. She curled up next to him and was asleep quickly. Sawyer watched her sleep, and decided that they would have to watch the sex tape the next day.

**A/N: So should the baby be a boy or a girl? Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: So this chapter a lot of stuff happens. I hope you all like it.  
Supersolanea-I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :)  
PinkPearl-Thank you for the review! And for asking for the baby to be a girl. I'm still not sure what i'm gonna do yet.  
Katie-I'm so glad that your computer's getting fixed. I know how annoying that is! Computers suck! Haha...well when computers are broken they suck. Anyway I'm glad you liked the previous chapter. I hope you like this one too!**

The next few months went by fine. Kate and Sawyer's sex life got even better, which neither of them even knew was even possible. Sawyer worked a lot, but he always made sure that he was home before Kate went to sleep so they could make love. Kate still stayed at home during the day with the kids, and she was almost done writing her novel.

It was the middle of a Wednesday afternoon. Xander and A.J were at school, and Logan was at day care. He only went a few days a week, and only to meet kids his own age. Kate was going to take her book to a local book dealer, who also happened to own their own publishing company. She was talking to the owner of the publishing company. She was so nervous, and the baby must have been too because he or she was moving around like crazy.

"I think that the idea of your book is really good Mrs. Ford," the man sitting in front of her asked. She looked at his name card, to remember his name.

"Thank you Mr. Fitzgerald," Kate nodded. "Please, you can call me Kate."

"I'll call you Kate if we sign you Mrs. Ford," he stated somewhat condescendingly.

"Uhm," she cleared her throat and suddenly her mouth was very dry. "Ok…when will I find out?"

"I have to talk to a couple other people, and of course I have to read the book," he responded. "Give us about a month to think it all over."

"Ok," she said, suddenly feeling that it was hopeless and there was no way that they would sign her.

She left the book store and went back home. She forgot to pick up Logan, but immediately remembered and went to pick him up. He was crying when she got there and she carried him out to the car as he threw his daily temper tantrum. She put him into the back seat and buckled him in as best as she could with him kicking her.

"Stop kicking me Logan," she sighed. "Look…I'm sorry that I wasn't here on time, but we're going home now."

On the way home Kate stopped by the elementary school to pick up Xander and A.J. When she pulled up Xander and A.J got into the car silently.

"Hi," Kate said. "I'm really sorry that I'm late."

Neither of them said anything for the entire ride home. When they got home Kate opened the front door and all three kids went to their rooms without saying a word to Kate. Kate flopped down on the couch and listened to the messages on the answering machine.

"Kate," Jack's voice said. "I know that you and your husband want me to stay away from you, but I joined this 12 step program and I'm supposed to apologize to everyone that I affected. So…I'm sorry."

Kate sighed to herself and put her hands to her face. She turned the TV on and there was a breaking news story on the TV.

"The local doctor was just getting out of a rehab program," the news reporter said. "If you're just joining us a local physician was found dead, seemingly having jumped off a freeway overpass. He left behind no known family."

Kate sighed deeply and was hoping that it was just a coincidence.

"Even though Dr. Jack Shephard didn't have much family," the reporter continued. "He did have many patients at St. Sebastian hospital, who were looking forward to his return to medicine. It truly is a tragedy."

Kate waited for Sawyer to come home. She wanted to have him come home and fuck all her sadness and anger away. She heard the front door open and walked toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and started kissing him hard.

"Well," he mumbled. "Nice to see you too sweetheart. How was your day?"

"Pretty damn shitty," she sighed, continuing to kiss him. He backed off of her and shook his head.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Well," she began, still kissing him. "First, I went to get my book published, and they're gonna say no, and then I forgot to pick up the boys and they all hate me, and now…I just found out that Jack left a message on our machine telling me how sorry he was and then he killed himself. So I'd say that I'm ready for some sex to push this day out of my mind."

"Kate," he whispered. She continued to kiss him, with tears beginning to stream down her face. He started walking toward the bedroom, with her still trying to kiss him eagerly. He shut the door behind him, and she took a deep breath.

"He's dead," she sobbed. "And it's all my fault."

"Freckles," he started and set her down on the bed. "It is not. You can't control what other people do…you just can't."

"He told me he loved me," she whispered.

"Well that's not your fault either Freckles. Anyone who wouldn't love you is insane," he said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"And the kids all hate me," she replied. "They wouldn't even talk to me."

"Then I'll go have a talk with them…right now," he answered. "You just don't even worry."

He left the bedroom and went into the hallway. Kate stayed where she was sitting and watched Sawyer stand in the middle of the hall.

"All Ford boys in the hallway right now!" he yelled. There was no evidence of movement in either Logan or the twins' rooms. He kicked both doors, and then stepped back. "I'm not joking. Logan, Alexander and Anton you better get your little butts out here right now."

Suddenly there was movement and they were all standing in their doors looking quite scared of their father.

"Thank you," Sawyer said calmly. "Now I want one of you to tell me why you won't talk to mommy."

"Because she left us at school," Xander replied. "She came later than anyone."

"Well I'm sure she's very sorry," he answered. "Did she say she was sorry?"

"Yeah," A.J whispered very softly.

"What?" Sawyer asked. "I didn't quite hear that."

"Yeah," he said louder.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "Now go into me and mommy's room and hug her and you tell her you're sorry."

Logan ran first followed by the two twins. He jumped onto Kate's lap and hugged her tightly. Each of the boys told her she was sorry and she nodded her acceptance. She looked over at Sawyer thankfully and then gave him a seductive look.

"Ok," Sawyer stated, clapping his hands together. "Now…you guys can all leave and give me and your momma some time alone."

The kids all left the room and Sawyer shut the door behind them. His intentions were entirely to just talk to her, but instead when he made his way to the bed, she pulled him down on top of her quickly and started kissing him.

"I love it when you're a good dad," she whispered.

"Aren't I always?" he asked, somewhat offended.

"Yeah," she moaned, as she grinded against him. "But I always want to fuck you, don't I?"

"You tell me," he smirked.

"Hell yes," she nodded. "I always want to fuck you…if you're anywhere near me or any part of your body is touching me, or you're being damn cute with our kids; believe me…there's a fantasy going on there."

"Well," he whispered. "I think about sex about every 4 minutes…what can I say I'm a guy…I think about sex with you…about every 2.5 minutes."

"That's good to know," she chuckled.

"But unfortunately," he began. "I don't think that sex is going to make you feel better this time. What can I do Freckles? I mean I know that Jack must have meant something to you…you did after all have sex with the guy."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't care about him. He meant nothing…that's what makes this so horrible. Sawyer, when I heard that Jack was dead…part of me was relieved. I-I mean-I won't ever have to worry about seeing him at the hospital again, and I won't have to worry about running into him anywhere, and have him give me those looks, and make those stupid comments like how he's in love with me. I felt relieved…and right now I just want to have sex with my husband so all these horrible feelings can just go away."

"Well," he whispered. "I say that we spend a week…a week of just us…doing whatever you want. Worshipping each other and spending time with just the two of us."

"What?" she chuckled. He went to the bedside table and opened the drawer. He handed her a brochure to a spa. She looked at him and wrinkled her eyebrows.

"You want to take me to a spa?" she asked. "It doesn't really seem like your kind of thing James. It's not really my kind of thing either."

"Ah yes," he began. "But sex and hot tubs and massages are our kind of thing Freckles. I just wanted a week away from the kids. A week…just the two of us."

"When are we going?" she questioned.

"Tomorrow night," he answered. "Jill and Kyle are just gonna come stay here so that the kids aren't uprooted."

"What about Tasha?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean? Tasha's gonna come too…she can spend a week here…and if they leave anything, their apartment is closer to our house than the spa, I'm sure they can handle it."

"I can't believe that they're gonna be able to handle our 3 boys for an entire week. And I'm really gonna miss them," she replied.

"Well hopefully, my dear," he began. "You won't even be thinking about the kids on this little vacation away from home."

"Sawyer," she whispered, staring at him. "I don't want to think about the kids…not right now. I want you to fuck me. You are so good to me…and now that we're going to get time alone…I want time alone with you now. I want to have you inside of me."

She pushed him over and crawled on top of him. She kissed him loudly and ran her hands up the front of his shirt. She continued to move over him, grinding her hips against him to make him hard. He was definitely hard already and was putting his hands down the back of Kate's pants.

"I'm not wearing underwear," she whispered. He groaned as she reached between them and unzipped his pants. "I want this day to be done. I want everything to be over, and for us to just concentrate on this…on us."

"I got that Freckles," he breathed. She stopped talking and started kissing him again. She moaned into his mouth as she grew wetter and he grew harder.

"Momma?" a voice from behind the door said. Sawyer flipped them over and covered Kate's mouth, noticing that she was going to say something, and it may not be the best thing.

"What do you need A?" Sawyer asked. Listening to Sawyer be so genuine and sweet to A.J made Kate buck her hips and rub against him harder. "Freckles, behave," he whispered.

"Momma, I'm sad," he replied.

"Dammit," Kate whispered.

"Are you ok?" Sawyer asked.

"No!" he yelled. "Xander is killing Logan."

Kate quickly got out of the bed and ran out of the room. She nearly knocked A.J over as she ran into the living room, assuming that's where the incident was happening. Logan was sitting on the couch quietly, and Xander wasn't in the room.

"Where's Xander?" she asked turning back toward A.J who had followed her.

"In our room," A.J stated.

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Kate asked loudly. "Why would you lie?!"

"Sorry mommy," he said quietly.

"No!" Kate shook her head. "Sorry is not good enough! Lying about your brother killing Logan is not funny!"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, breathing deeply and beginning to cry. "I miss you momma…I wanted you to hug me."

Kate closed her eyes, and now felt bad for yelling at him for almost no reason. She picked him up and held him closely.

"Ok buddy," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Daddy says we're not gonna see you for a whole week!" he sobbed. "That means 5 days of school and plus 2 more. That equals 7 mommy."

"Good adding A.J," she said quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just…next time you want to tell me something, or you want a hug, then just tell me…don't lie and tell me that someone is in danger."

"I love you momma," he whispered into her ear.

"I love you too honey," she replied.

"Everything ok?" Sawyer asked, coming into the hallway.

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "But you know what? I have an idea. We're gonna have a family night. So A, why don't you go get Xander ok?"

"What will we do?" A.J asked.

"I think," she began. "We should rent a couple movies, and then eat some pizza in the living room."

"But that's not allowed," A.J stated.

"Tonight it is," Kate stated. "Do you want to go to the video store with daddy?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed.

"Do I have to go?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes," Kate nodded. "I'm gonna spend some quality time with my Logan."

Sawyer and the twins both went to pick up the movies and the pizza. When Sawyer went into the video store he had Xander on his shoulders, and A.J was holding his hand.

"Daddy it's too high!" Xander exclaimed.

"I gotcha," Sawyer said reassuringly. "I promise I won't drop you."

"Let's get Nemo!"

Sawyer didn't want to be in the video store. There was way too many choices. He wanted to get something for him and Kate to watch later on after the kids went to bed. It took him forever to find the movies he wanted, and he totally regretted asking one of the cashiers for help. She was about 17, with bright red lipstick and she kept flirting with him. He tried to flash her his wedding ring, but he had a feeling that she didn't care that he as married. He didn't care that she was flirting with him too much because it was almost cute, but she kept following him even after he found the movie that he asked for. He found another movie for him and Kate to watch, or probably just have on in the background as they had sex. As he walked up to the counter he could hear the cashier talking to the other cashier.

"He's so hot Julie," she said, not even attempting to be quiet. "And he has these two little twins with him, it's just so damn cute. Don't you just love a man with kids?"

"Sarah," the other girl began. "If he has kids, he's probably got a wife too."

"Maybe he's babysitting," she answered. "How hot would that be. A male babysitter? A guy who likes kids…you never see that anymore."

"No," Julie shook her head. "You don't see guys our age that like kids. He's probably like totally old."

Sawyer smirked as he walked up to the counter. The girl who was originally helping him, Sarah, turned bright red and held out a shaky hand asking for the movies.

"Uh," Julie began. "Are those your kids?"

"Yeah," Sawyer chuckled.

"They're adorable," she continued. "They're so cute. What are their names?"

"Xander and A.J," he answered.

"They look just like their dad," she smiled.

"Actually they look more like their mom," he argued. The girl turned red too and walked away to help another customer.

"So is their mom at home waiting for the movies?" she asked.

"Yes," Sawyer laughed. "And I'm 35 before you go embarrassing yourself."

"Daddy get Nemo!" Xander exclaimed hitting him gently on the top of the head.

"I got Nemo," he answered. "You can hang on to it buddy, as soon as I pay."

The girl behind the counter started smiling widely and Sawyer knew that it would only take one more cute gesture with the kids, to make her squeal and jump up and down. He paid for the movies and started leaving. When they got to the doorway he knew that Xander would have to duck.

"Xander," he said. "Duck your head so you don't hit."

Xander ducked and held on to Sawyer's face tightly. Sawyer chuckled and watched the girl out of the corner of his eye. She was smiling widely and waving at the twins.

"Say bye bye boys," Sawyer said.

When Sawyer got home with the pizza and the movies he saw that Kate set up the living room to eat dinner. Logan was laying on Kate's lap watching TV. Sawyer set the pizza box down in front of Kate and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Hi," Kate whispered. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to say hello to my wife," he smiled. "There were a couple teenagers at the video store that thought I was pretty hot…although one of the girls thought I was 'totally old'."

"They probably just liked seeing a good dad," she shrugged.

"Believe me," he began, with a chuckle. "I think the one girl was pretty disappointed that I had a wife waiting at home for me."

That night they watched 2 movies. During the second movie the boys were all laying on the floor, with blankets. Kate was laying against Sawyer, with his arms around her. He was running his hands against her small baby bump that was getting bigger by the day.

"You excited for tomorrow?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she smiled, turning and looking at him. "I think it's gonna be really fun. But I still think I'm gonna miss my babies."

"Kate," he began. "First of all…they're not babies anymore."

"Logan still sucks his thumb," she argued. "He's always going to be my baby."

"No," Sawyer answered. "This little one is gonna be the new baby…and according to you she's gonna be our last baby."

"Whatever," she chuckled. "I'm going to miss our kids."

"Well the second of all that I was going to say," he continued. "Second of all…it's only a week. We can call them every day and tell them how much we love them or whatever."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Shh!" Xander turned around and put his finger to his mouth. "No talking during the movie!"

"Sorry," Sawyer whispered.

They waited another 15 minutes, and all three kids were sleeping. Sawyer carried each of the twins to their room, and Kate took Logan. She set him in the bed and he woke up only slightly.

"Momma," he mumbled.

"It's bedtime," she whispered. "Love you Logan."

"Me too mommy," he said wrapping his arms around her neck. She kissed him on the forehead and left the room. Sawyer was leaving the twins' room at the same time. He looked at her and they headed into their own bedroom.

Kate went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Sawyer knelt in front of her, but didn't say anything to her. He stood up over her and took her face in his hands. He bent over her and kissed her softly and slowly.

"I got a movie for us to have on in the background," he whispered into her mouth.

"We should watch _our _movie," she replied. "The movie we made…when I was skinnier."

"Freckles," he stated. "You're pregnant…you're not fat. And I think that watching our movie is an excellent idea…except I'm not really sure that I want to get out of this bed."

"I'm not sure I want you to," she whispered. She ran her hand up the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

The next day Kate and Sawyer were at the spa, sitting in a hot tub. It was one of the public hot tubs, where every 10 minutes someone would come check on them and ask if they needed anything. They were only allowed 30 minutes at a time, especially since Kate was pregnant. Kate had her eyes closed and sighed. Sawyer inched toward her and put his arm around her.

"Do you want to have sex in here?" he whispered.

"Well," she began. "Our friend will be back any minute to make sure that we don't need anything. Plus…how many other people do you think have had sex in here."

"You always have to ruin the moment," he said quietly with a smile. She leaned toward him and kissed him slowly. He moved his hands into her hair. They both moaned softly and continued to kiss, until they heard a throat clearing.

"Time's up," the woman stated.

"5 more minutes?" Kate asked with a pout.

"It's not good for the baby," the woman answered. "I mean, I know that you want this romantic week, but the hot tubs aren't the only thing that we offer."

"How about a hot stone massage?" Kate asked with her eyes lighting up.

"Are those hot stone massages done men?" he asked. "Because the only one I want touching you is me. In fact Freckles, let's just go back to the room and I'll give you a massage."

"Ok," Kate whispered.

They took a shower together and managed to keep their hands off of each other. They got naked in the shower and when they stepped out of the shower there were two fluffy robes waiting for them. Sawyer wrapped the robe around her and kissed her neck softly. They walked back to the room. Kate shut the door and smiled widely. She stepped toward Sawyer and wrapped her arms around him. She gave him a short kiss.

"No kids," he whispered. "We can have the entire night without any interruptions. Three kids are a lot to deal with."

"Don't you love them?" she asked.

"Don't be ridiculous Kate," he shook his head. "I refuse to let you be mad at me this week…of course I love the kids. I just don't love them interrupting us while we're trying to have a night to ourselves. They always seem to come knocking at the most inopportune moment…like I'm trying to get your underwear off."

"I know," she smiled. "I'm excited that we won't have any interruptions either."

She leaned toward him and kissed him deeply. They walked backwards toward the bed. Kate sat down and Sawyer leaned over her. He pushed her down gently and crawled over her.

"Fuck me," she moaned. "Don't wait."

He untied the robe sash and pushed the robe off her shoulders. She did the same as he started kissing her neck. He pushed himself into her slowly and she started panting.

"You ok sweetheart?" he asked. She nodded and leaned up to kiss him. She flipped them over and started kissing him harder. He pushed her up and looked at her in the face. He sat up the rest of the way, still keeping himself in Kate. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and moaned loudly.

"Are you gonna come?" he asked her. As he whispered in her ear. When he whispered she came and kissed him again. He came too and then flipped them back over and pulled out of her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

They spent the week together, and hardly ever left the room again. They were 4 hours away from home and Kate fell asleep almost immediately when they began to drive. The real reason why Sawyer brought her on the week getaway, was because he was building them a master bathroom off of their bedroom. It was her birthday and mother's day present. Xander and A.J knew about it and were able to keep it a secret, which totally shocked Sawyer, but he was glad about it. On the way home he called to see how the progress was going. It was completely done, and Sawyer didn't have to worry about taking a detour to give them more time. Kate slept almost the entire 4 hours, which made Sawyer glad because it meant that they could try out their new bathroom that night, without having to worry about Kate being too tired. When they were 15 minutes from home Kate mumbled and woke up.

"Hey sleepyhead," Sawyer said. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah," she nodded, stretching her arms above her head. "We're almost home?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"I love you so much for everything this week," she said quietly.

"You like those multiple orgasms," he chuckled. "It was just as fun for me baby. Are you excited to be going home though?"

"Of course," she replied. "I missed the boys so much. We called them, but it's not the same. And you didn't even let me talk to Xander or A.J for very long. Why not?"

"Do you know what today is?" he asked.

"It's the day before Mother's Day," she answered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Well the boys and I planned a surprise, and I didn't want them to ruin it."

They got home and Sawyer left the bags in the car as they went up the front steps. Sawyer opened the door and they were greeted by all three boys.

"Mommy!" A.J exclaimed and jumped on to her leg.

"Happy Mother's day momma," Logan said quietly with his thumb in his mouth.

"Thank you," she chuckled. She picked him up and he hugged her tightly.

"Miss you!" he exclaimed.

"I missed you too baby," she said squeezing him tighter. She knelt down and hugged Xander and A.J too.

"Everything ready boys?" Sawyer whispered.

"Uh huh!" Xander exclaimed. "Momma come with me."

Kate followed Xander through the house and into their bedroom. She saw the extra door, but there was also flower petals all over the bed. There were three wrapped presents on the bed too.

"Presents!" A.J said loudly.

"A.J," Sawyer shook his head. "Mother's Day isn't till tomorrow. We gotta wait."

"No!" A.J and Xander exclaimed. "Do it now!"

"We can do presents now Sawyer," Kate said.

"Oh alright," he sighed. Kate sat down on the bed and picked up the gift closest to her.

"No!!" Logan screamed. Kate put the present down immediately and stared at him. "Mine!"

"I think this is mine," Kate argued.

"No," Xander shook his head. "He wants you to open his first."

"Oh ok," she nodded. "Which one Logan?"

He pointed to the package and she lifted it to her lap. She opened the present and it was a finger painting with his hand prints on it.

"Logan did you do this by yourself?" she asked.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed.

"Ahem," Sawyer began. "I think you had some help."

"Nuh uh daddy," he shook his head. "All by self!"

"Liar," he argued.

"Daddy helped Logan," Xander told her. "But me and A.J did ours alone."

"Who took you to the store?" he asked.

Kate opened the second package and it was a sexy nighty. Kate glared at Sawyer and shook her head.

"The boys picked this out?" she asked. "Are you sure you had nothing to do with it?"

"We were in the mall walking past the lingerie store and they saw this in the window," Sawyer explained. "They thought it was pretty and wanted mommy to look pretty. Right guys."

"Yeah," they nodded.

"I wanna see," Xander said.

"Hmm, me too," Sawyer mumbled into her ear. Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"This isn't for little boys eyes," she replied.

"But it is for big boys eyes," Sawyer stated.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed and hit him on the shoulder. "Now…what's through that door?"

"One more momma," A.J said handing her the last present. She opened it and it was a drawing of the family. Kate and Sawyer were very out of proportion, but Kate thought it was cute. She was holding a hot dog looking item.

"What is this?" Kate asked.

"The new baby momma," Xander stated. "See? Pink blanket. Daddy said it was a girl."

"Well we don't know yet," Kate shook her head. "But I hope it's a girl."

"Mommy wanted you to be a girl Logan," A.J said.

"Nuh uh," he whined and crawled up on to Kate's lap.

"A.J, stop causing trouble," she replied. "Logan I love you just the way you are, but I do want a baby girl some day."

"Love you momma," he whispered.

"Now Sawyer," she started. "What the hell are you hiding behind that door?"

"Ah yes," Sawyer nodded. "Guys…should we do the last surprise?"

"Yeah!" all three of them exclaimed. Kate stood up and was still holding Logan. She carried him through the door and walked into a beautiful bathroom. There was a sky light, and a Jacuzzi tub, plus a shower. She turned back toward Sawyer with her mouth wide opened.

"It's a birthday present too," he told her.

"Sawyer, a shower and a bath?" she asked quietly.

"Choices Freckles," he smirked. "Choices."

"Happy birthday mommy!" Xander exclaimed.

"This is incredible," she whispered. She had tears coming into her eyes.

"Mommy, you sad?" Logan asked.

"No," she shook her head. "These are happy tears. This is so gorgeous you guys."

"Now get out," Sawyer said. "Your momma and I need to christen this place."

None of the boys moved and Kate just smiled at Sawyer and kissed him. She set Logan down and wrapped her arms around Sawyer.

"You said you wanted a bathroom where we could-" he began.

"Yeah," she interrupted. "I did…and I love it."

"Good," he whispered.

"Does she like it?" a voice said from behind them.

"I love it Jill," Kate chuckled. "Where were you hiding?"

"I was in the other bathroom. I was just hiding because the boys wanted to surprise you without me there," she answered.

"Were they good?" Kate asked.

"They were perfect angels," she answered.

"Liar," Kate shook her head. "Why is everyone lying to me today?"

"They were fine Kate," she replied. "I promise, if anything bad happened I would have told you. I did have to send them to their room once for being mean to Logan, but other than that, they were fine."

That night after the boys were all tucked in, Kate was in the new bathroom brushing her teeth. She was wearing her new nighty. It came up just below her ass, and tied in the front like her other one. She wasn't wearing underwear, because she figured that there was no point. Sawyer came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her belly.

"How's Caroline?" he whispered.

"She's good," Kate smiled and rinsed her mouth. "Her momma is definitely liking the idea of christening this bathroom."

"Ok," he replied. "Shower or bathtub?"

"Sink," she answered. She grabbed on to his shoulders and hoisted herself up onto the side of the sink. She gasped loudly as he bare ass hit the cold marble. He stepped in between her legs and started kissing her. She wrapped her legs around him and pushed his boxers down with her feet.

"I love my new bathroom," she whispered.

"I'm glad," he said touching her face. "I have a slight confession. This bathroom idea…it wasn't all for you. I like being able to have our private bathroom to do whatever we want. I just love to fuck you."

"Me too," she breathed. "So please…just do it. Do me."

"I'm not gonna 'do' you," he replied. "But I will make love to you." He pulled her toward him and carefully pushed into her. She put her mouth on his shoulder as he moved into her. She moaned softly and he picked her up.

"Where are you going?" she whispered.

"That cold bathroom counter can't be comfortable Freckles," he said.

"But what happened to christening the bathroom"? she questioned.

He lowered her to the floor, where there was a plush bath rug. She wrapped her arms around him and they came together. They both stood up and walked back to the bedroom. Kate laid down first and Sawyer spooned against her.

"Goodnight Freckles," he whispered. She flipped over and kissed him on the lips.

"Goodnight," she stated.

**A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter. Please REVIEW!**


	25. Chapter 25

It had been 5 weeks since Kate had turned in her book to get published. She hadn't heard anything from them, and was getting more nervous by the day. Sawyer kept assuring her that she would get the call. It was the morning of Kate's 29th birthday. She woke up to Sawyer tapping her on the shoulder.

"Wake up birthday girl," he whispered. She opened her eyes and chuckled softly. "Mornin' sweetheart. We got something for you."

He put a tray of food over her legs. It was eggs, toast, and a tall glass of orange juice. The boys all climbed onto the bed and hugged her.

"Happy bifday momma," Logan said.

"Thank you baby," she smiled. She kissed Logan on the forehead, and gave hugs and kisses to the other two kids too.

"Present time daddy," Xander said.

"Ok," he nodded. "Hand momma her present."

"I thought my bathroom was my birthday present," Kate argued.

"Well, this is a very special present," Sawyer told her. Xander handed Kate a square shaped object. It was about the size of a regular piece of 8x10 paper, and about an inch thick. Kate wrinkled her eyebrows and tore the paper off.

_Lost and Found By Kate A. Ford_

"My transcript," she whispered. "This is my book!"

"They called about a week and a half ago," Sawyer smiled. "It'll be on the shelves by August."

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "They published my book!"

Sawyer wrapped his arms around her and could tell that she was laughing and crying at the same time. She backed away from him and sniffled.

"I can't believe it," she whispered. "I thought there was no way in hell that they would sign my book."

"Well I can believe it Kate," he answered. "It's gonna be on the best seller's list in no time. I'm gonna be the first person to go buy it, and when I'm there I'm gonna make everyone else there buy a copy of it."

"How? Are you gonna bring a gun and hold up the store…tell everyone to just buy a book," she chuckled.

"Yes," he nodded. "Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Mama?" Logan started.

"What darlin'?" she asked.

"Will you read me this story tonight?" he asked.

"Well," she chuckled. "This is more of a grown up book…but you can read it when you get a little older."

"How old mommy?" Logan asked.

"5?" Xander asked.

"No," Kate chuckled. "You can read it when you're old enough to get married and have kids of your own."

"Ew," A.J stated. "I don't want to get married. Girls are yucky."

"Well I don't think so," Sawyer said putting an arm around Kate. "Mommy isn't yucky."

"Mommy's not a girl," Xander argued. "Mommy is just mommy…happy birthday mommy. I love you."

"Oh I love you too!" she exclaimed and hugged him tightly. "Oh I love you so much."

"And me?" A.J asked.

"Yes and you!" she said hugging him too. "And you Logan!"

She grabbed Logan and started tickling him, and the other two too.

"I love watching you with the boys," Sawyer said quietly, almost mocking how Kate says that she loves watching him with the boys. "It's so incredibly sexy. Will you play with me later?"

"Yes," she chuckled. She spent the day with the kids. Sawyer ended up having to go in to work, even though his plans were to stay at home since it was Kate's birthday, and he didn't want to have to have her do all the work with the kids, but she said she didn't mind.

Sawyer got home and walked over to the couch. Kate was sleeping on the couch with the kids all piled around her. Logan was on one side of her with his head resting against her growing belly. A.J and Xander were both on the other side of her. Kate was sleeping but the kids were all awake watching TV quietly. Kate's eyes flickered opened and she smiled up at Sawyer.

"Ok kids, off your momma," Sawyer said.

"No!" Logan said clinging on tighter to Kate's belly. Kate stroked his head softly and kissed his cheek. Sawyer moved Xander and A.J over and sat down next to her.

"Hey baby," he whispered. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," she yawned. "I'm just getting a little shut eye for later tonight."

"What happens later tonight?" he asked quietly, even though he knew exactly what she had in mind.

"We celebrate," she whispered. "Celebrate my birthday, and my book. You know why the boys aren't allowed to read my book."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "It's all about sex essentially. The main character is kind of a slut…so I'm glad that it's not based on us."

"I promise you Sawyer," she shook her head. "It has nothing to do with us."

"Good," he murmured. "You know…I know that it can't be Logan's bedtime story…but how about mine?"

"I got a better bedtime story for you Sawyer, than me reading to you," she responded. "I want to make sweet love to you from now until sunrise."

"Freckles," he chuckled. "You know how much I want you, but the kids are all still awake and sitting right here. I think we gotta wait unfortunately. Kids…are you ready to go to bed yet? Why don't you go get your pajamas on guys?"

"No!" they all exclaimed.

"It's not bedtime yet daddy," Xander said. "It's before dinner."

"I know," Sawyer nodded. "But if you get all ready for bed, then you don't have to do it later. Why don't you go get ready for bed and I'll make dinner."

Sawyer went into the kitchen and Kate followed him. She sat down at the table and watched him start to cook. She stood up and wrapped her arms underneath his armpits.

"I love you," she whispered. "I feel so lucky…I can't believe that my book is being published."

"Are you kidding?" he asked, turning toward her. "I knew it. I mean you're good at everything you do Kate. You are a great mommy, and fantastic in the sack."

"Thanks," she laughed. "You're not so bad yourself Mr. Ford. I wonder if my mom will read my book."

"If she sees it in the book store I'm sure that she'll read it," he replied. He turned back toward the stove to stir the pasta sauce that he was making. The kids all came back to the kitchen and started talking all at once. Sawyer finished making dinner and they all sat down to eat. The family ate almost in silence, aside from the kids telling Sawyer that the dinner was good. Kate kept playing footsie with Sawyer under the table, which was making him chuckle, and making the kids ask why he was laughing.

Later that night after the kids were in bed Kate was waiting in the bedroom for Sawyer. Sawyer came into the bedroom and took Kate by the hand.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"We're gonna get into the shower," he told her.

"Ok," she nodded. She followed him in to the bathroom and he turned on the water. Kate was wearing her pajamas and Sawyer was only wearing his boxers. Kate pulled her pants down and tossed her shirt off and got into the shower, too quick for Sawyer to even ogle her at all. He got into the shower behind her and wrapped his arms around the back of her.

"Did you have a good birthday?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she answered. "We went to the park, and then we ate lunch back here, and then we watched a couple movies."

"Sounds good," he murmured. "Turn around."

She turned toward him and he brushed his hand through her hair. He pressed his lips against hers and pulled her closer to him. He kissed down her neck and ran his hands down her back.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked. "Are you wet enough Kate, because I'm so fucking hard right now, and I want to push into you."

"I'm ready," she whispered. "Fuck me James."

He pushed her up against the shower wall and pushed himself into her. He kissed her hard and she moaned softly.

"Could you be any quieter?" he asked, almost making fun of her.

"I thought you liked it when I was soft," she moaned as he pushed further into her. "Plus, I'd be louder if you'd be harder."

"Don't want to hurt little Caroline," he shook his head, but pushed into her somewhat harder. She gave a sharp squeal and smiled at him. "I'm gonna fuck you and make you come."

"Well you already are fucking me," she informed him.

"I know," he whispered and pushed her into the shower wall again. This time as he moved she got louder, which made him smirk. He wrapped his arms around her to steady her as she came, and her knees buckled underneath her. He picked her up and carried her back into the bedroom.

"I like the way we celebrate Kate," he whispered into her ear.

"Me too," she nodded. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his chest. They were both completely naked, and fell asleep with their arms and legs tangled together.

* * *

Kate was laying on the doctor's office bed. The crinkly paper sheet was making noise as she tried to get more comfortable. She held her hands against her stomach and waited for the doctor to return.

"Mrs. Ford?" the doctor asked. "How are you feeling today?"

"Good," she smiled.

"Have you been feeling ok?" he asked. "Morning sickness at all."

"Not anymore," she shook her head. "I'm ok."

"Where's your husband?" he questioned.

"Is that any of your business?" she scoffed.

"Oh, Mrs. Ford, that's not what-I was just making conversation," he answered.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I guess I've been a little moody lately. I don't know why. I have the perfect family. We're really happy."

"Well I know why Kate," the doctor laughed. "You're 5 and a half months pregnant. Of course you're gonna be a little hormonal. You'll be ok. Now…let's get a picture of your baby."

She smiled and waited for him to squeeze the goo on her stomach. It was much warmer than she expected, and he started doing the ultrasound.

"My husband is at work," she said. "He forgot about my appointment I guess. He was supposed to meet me here. We were gonna find out what the sex of the baby was…together."

"Do you want to know?" he asked quietly.

"No," she shook her head. "Not without him here. We wanted to find out together."

"This is your 4th child though. Is it really that-"

"Yes," she interrupted. "It's important. We have 3 boys, if you remember correctly…and we really want this to be a girl."

"Ok," he nodded. "We'll wait till next time then I guess."

He did the full examination and left the room. Kate was getting dressed when there was a small knock on the door and then the door opened without her giving permission to the person to enter. She covered herself with her shirt and gasped. It was only Sawyer, who looked at her very apologetically.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I'm-I totally forgot."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I kinda got that."

"We were just so swamped, and by the time I asked what time it was, it was already 3:30...I came as quickly as I could," he sighed. "Did you find out what we were having?"

"No," she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "I wanted us to find out together. I'm so glad that you're here."

He kissed the top of her head and then put his hands on top of her stomach. Her belly was big, but he knew that it was only gonna get bigger in the next 3 and a half months. There was another knock on the door, and this time the door didn't open.

"Come back in 5," Sawyer said out loud.

"No!" Kate exclaimed. "He's only kidding…come in."

"Hello Mr. Ford," the doctor said, extending his hand and shaking Sawyer's. "Glad to see you made it. Did you want to know the sex of the baby since you're both here. I know that Kate is pretty excited to know."

"Do you wanna know?" Sawyer whispered, putting his arm around her waist.

"No," she shook her head. "You know what…I don't want to know. We knew when we had Logan…maybe if we wait till the baby is born-"

"Well I hate to break this to ya Kate," Sawyer began. "But even if we wait, no matter what we can't change if it's a boy or girl now. I mean-"

"No," she repeated. "I just want to wait. We can wait 3 more months, can't we?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "We can wait. Let's get you and Caroline home."

"Let's call her Carrie," she whispered.

"Huh?" he asked.

"You asked me what nickname you could give to the name Caroline," she explained. "How about Carrie?"

"It's pretty," he said. "Caroline Katherine. We can name her after her momma."

"Nah," she shook her head and made a face. "Caroline Anne, if you wanna name her after me."

"That sounds good Kate," he whispered.

"Why are you coming up with a name?" the doctor asked. "You don't even know if you're having a girl yet. What if it's a boy?"

"Is it?" she asked.

"That's not what I said," he shook his head.

"So it's a girl," Sawyer said excitedly.

"I didn't say that either," he replied.

"What's left?" Sawyer asked.

"Your baby is healthy," the doctor responded. "Don't worry. Everything is going well and everything should go as planned. Kate is very healthy and it seems to me like she has a good husband that takes care of her."

"I guess we should come up with a boy's name," Kate whispered. "I mean just in case."

"Kate," Sawyer chuckled. "We've been calling your belly Caroline for 5 months…I think we can keep calling it that till the baby's born."

"Correction Sawyer," she began. "_You've _been calling my belly Caroline for 5 months. I think it's totally weird."

"No you don't," he shook his head. "You think it's totally sexy. You love it."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I guess I do."

**4 Months Later**

Kate was two weeks late for giving birth. Sawyer refused to go to work anymore because he was worried that if he did he would miss it. He almost missed Logan being born because of work, so he wanted to be there and be the one who drove Kate to the hospital.

"I want this thing out of me right now!" Kate said to Sawyer as he rubbed her feet. "Sawyer make her come."

"Well I heard having sex can stimulate labor," he smirked.

"As much as that makes me want to have sex, I don't think that I could right now anyway," she shook her head. "My entire body hurts."

"Caroline," Sawyer said putting his head against Kate's stomach, which he had started to call Mount Ford, and she was not amused in the least because the kids started calling it Mount Ford too. "Caroline, your momma isn't very happy right now, so if you wanna make her really really happy, then you'll get your ass out of here right now…and you'll also be a girl."

"Right now I would embrace another boy as long as he came right the hell now!" she yelled.

"Quit yelling," Sawyer mumbled.

"Why?" she asked. "The twins are at school, and Logan is at day care. I can yell and swear as much as I fucking feel like it."

"You're right," he nodded. "Sorry. Swear away baby."

"I'm done," she sighed. "Help me up."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because we're gonna go have sex," she answered. "We're going to have sex right now, and we're not gonna stop until I'm in labor."

Sawyer chuckled and helped Kate stand up. They walked back to the bedroom and Kate started stripping her clothes off. She walked over to the bed and sat down. He watched her with a smile.

"Help me with my pants Sawyer," she almost demanded.

"I do love it when you're forceful with me Freckles," he whispered.

"Shut up, and get over here," she answered. He walked toward her and kissed her softly before going toward her pants. She grabbed on to his neck and stood up.

"Now what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm standing up and going to the car," she responded. "My water just broke."

"You sound pissed," he told her.

"Because I am," she answered.

"Ok, color me confused then. Didn't you just request for the baby to come right now?" he asked.

"Well yeah," she nodded. "But I just realized I'm not gonna be having any sex for 6 weeks."

"Damn," he sighed. "That means I won't be having any sex either."

"Well I can still give you head," she argued.

"I think if we're careful I can probably go down on you too," he told her. "But while we're talking about how we're not gonna have much of a sex life for 6 weeks, we should probably get you to the hospital."

"Yeah," she stated. "Probably."

Sawyer drove her to the hospital, way too fast according to her. When they got to the hospital Kate got out of the car and went in before Sawyer could follow her. He practically ran after her and when he got to the counter she was waiting for help.

"Get away from me!" she exclaimed and pushed him away. "Thanks to you my baby probably has brain damage."

"Don't worry sir," the receptionist chuckled. "They always say stuff like that on their first pregnancy."

"It's her 3rd," he mumbled.

"Oh," she chuckled.

"Yeah," Kate said. "So can I get a damn room, and my doctor."

"Sit there," the woman continued to laugh at Kate.

An orderly with a wheelchair came up behind Kate, and Kate sat down. He wheeled her into a room and Sawyer followed closely. He got in front of her to help her stand up and she pushed him away again.

"I can do it by myself!" she exclaimed. "I told you to stay away from me."

She struggled somewhat standing up, but Sawyer let her since she asked him to leave her alone. He watched her make her way to the bed and climb onto it.

"Go do something useful and pick up the kids from school," she snapped.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Quit being so mean to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'll go call Kyle or Jill and maybe they can take them for tonight."

"Fine," she mumbled. Sawyer left to go make the call. When he got back she motioned for him to come toward her.

"Now you want me to come near you?" he asked.

"Please," she whispered. He walked toward her and she opened her arms asking for a hug. He hugged her and she sobbed onto his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. Don't leave."

"Baby I ain't goin' nowhere," he answered.

"Why?" she sobbed. "I'm horrible to you."

"No you're not," he shook his head. He put his hands against her cheeks and kissed her softly. "You're just being weird right now. You're forgiven."

"How much longer?" she asked.

"Dunno," he responded. "Soon I hope."

"_You _hope?" she asked. "It shouldn't be too long since my water broke."

_2 Hours Later_

Kate was finally pushing. She was holding Sawyer's hand and squeezing it tightly.

"I swear to God, this baby hates me," Kate said as she was having some trouble. "Something's wrong Sawyer."

The nurse and doctor started talking quietly and making some eye movements. Sawyer sighed deeply and was wishing that they weren't whispering.

"You mind telling us what the hell is going on?" Sawyer asked.

"There is a lot of blood," the nurse said quietly.

"Oh God," Kate sobbed.

"Too much?" Sawyer asked. The nurse was obviously not ready for that question and she whispered at the doctor. "Dammit answer me! Is there too much blood?"

"We have to get the baby out, but we're going to have to put Kate to sleep."

"How the hell is she going to push the baby out if she's sleeping?" Sawyer asked.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "They have to do an emergency C-secection."

"We actually have to ask you to leave," the nurse stated.

"Hell no!" Sawyer exclaimed. "I'm not leaving."

"We have to do what's best for Kate and the baby right now Mr. Ford," the doctor chimed in. "The least amount of people in here the better."

Sawyer left the room and two more doctors went in. He was pissed that he wasn't allowed inside, but he just kept thinking about what the doctor said…he did want to do what was best for Kate and the baby, but if anything happened while he was waiting, he would never forgive himself or the doctors for making him leave. He sat down on the floor and waited for the sound of his crying baby. He wasn't hearing anything. It was only 10 minutes, but that was 10 minutes too long. Suddenly a nurse came through the door holding a limp and very blue baby. He stood up quickly to see if he could see anything.

"Is it ok?" he asked.

"We're gonna take care of your daughter Mr. Ford, I promise."

Daughter. She said daughter. There was a nurse who popped her head out of the room a few minutes later and waved Sawyer into the room.

"Your wife is waking up," she said. He went into the room and sat down in the chair that they set up for Sawyer to take.

"Sawyer," she sobbed.

"The baby is ok," he told her, even though he had no idea if he was telling the truth or not.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked.

"Well," he sighed. "I know you're gonna be really disappointed, because we're gonna have to buy all knew baby shit, cuz it's a girl."

"A girl?" she asked.

"Yup," he nodded.

"Is she pretty?" she questioned._ Yeah a pretty cerulean blue color._

"Uh," he began. "I didn't really get to see her…the nurse just told me it was a daughter."

"Where is she?" she asked. "If she's ok…then why isn't she in here with me? I want to see her Sawyer."

"I know," he whispered. "I want to see her too."

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford," the nurse who had been carrying Caroline came into the room. Her arms were empty which worried Sawyer. "I just wanted to let you know that you can stop worrying. Your daughter is now breathing and is a pretty perfect pink color."

"What?" Kate asked loudly and started getting up.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered, and pushed her gently back down.

"You lied to me!" she exclaimed.

"Kate I didn't want you to get upset," he shook his head. "I knew that Carrie was going to be just fine, so I didn't want to worry you for no reason."

"Did you see her?" she asked. "What did she look like Sawyer?"

"She was blue Kate," he mumbled. "She was really blue. But she's ok now. The nurse told us that she was ok. And the nurse wouldn't lie to us would she? Doctor's always tell you the worst case scenario. Carrie and you are both gonna be ok."

"I wanna see her Sawyer," she demanded.

"When can we see her?" Sawyer asked.

"Later today," the nurse answered. "We still have a close eye on her…but she's not gonna be in intensive care or anything. She won't be in an incubator. She'll be fine, I promise."

"Doctors aren't supposed to make promises," Kate whispered.

"Well I'm not a doctor," she shook her head. "I'm a nurse, and this is a promise that I can keep ok?"

"Ok," Kate nodded.

"See?" Sawyer asked. "She's gonna be ok."

Later that day Sawyer and Kate were in a regular hospital room. The nurse came into the room pushing the baby in a bed. She did look completely normal.

"C-can I hold her?" Kate asked.

"Of course," the nurse nodded. "That's why we brought her in here to see you. Did you think of a name?"

"About 3 years ago," Sawyer answered. "Caroline Anne."

"That's a pretty name," the nurse stated.

"Yeah yeah, we know, now gimme my baby," Kate said eagerly. The nurse chuckled and handed Kate the baby. Sawyer got onto the bed next to her to look at the baby. She had pink cheeks, which made Sawyer feel much better than the blue he had seen earlier. Sawyer ran the back of his knuckles against her cheek. She smiled and Kate looked in awe at Sawyer.

"She's smiling," Kate said. "The other kids didn't smile for at least a day or more. She's so perfect Sawyer."

"She's cute," he nodded. "She looks like you."

"She's got your dimples," she whispered. Kate and Sawyer were able to spend an hour with the baby before the nurse came and started taking her from Kate's arms.

"No," Kate protested. "Please just a little while longer."

"We gotta get her back to the nursery," the nurse stated.

"When can we go home?" Kate asked.

"In a couple days," the nurse answered. The nurse left the room, and Sawyer wrapped his arms around Kate. She turned toward him and kissed him.

"Wanna make out?" she whispered.

"Darlin'," he chuckled. "I always wanna make out. But I don't want you to be tempted into sex."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "I'm in so much pain right now I don't think I can even put any weight on my stomach."

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I don't even care. I'm just so happy to have my dau-"

* * *

Sawyer woke up to a nurse standing in front of him and kicking his feet.

"Your wife is asking for you," she said.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Looks like you fell asleep," she replied. "Your wife is getting ready to give birth."

"She had a c-section," he stated.

"No," she shook her head. "You were sent out for ice chips about 45 minutes ago. She was having some complications, but they decided it would be worse if she had the c-section. She wants to yell at you and hold your hand."

Sawyer stood up and went into the room. Kate glared at him, but grabbed on to his hand anyway.

"I'm so pissed at you," she said.

"I had a dream," he whispered. "You had a perfect little girl."

"Really?" she asked. "Well I just want this kid out of me. So hold my hand."

He held her hand tightly and the doctor counted down as she pushed. The baby was crying as soon as it came out. Sawyer took a deep breath of relief. He was so scared that she wasn't going to be breathing, just like in his dream. His dream had been so real.

"She ok?" Sawyer asked.

"You have another son Kate," the doctor said and put the baby up on her chest. She was sobbing. Sawyer couldn't tell if she was happy, or sad, or in pain.

"Doctor," the nurse said. The doctor looked down and nodded.

"Ok," he said. "Mr. Ford you're going to go with the nurse to take your son down the hall to the nursery."

"What?" he asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The nurse will talk to you outside," he answered. "Kate we're gonna put you to sleep right now. You'll be able to see your son when you wake up."

"Sawyer?" she sobbed.

"Shh," he said. He kissed her on the forehead and bent down to hug her. "Everything is going to be fine Kate. I promise. And I ain't going nowhere."

"Yes you are James," she nodded. "Go on. And name him Josh. Name him Josh, Sawyer."

"Ok," he whispered. He bent down and kissed her lips softly. He stepped outside with the nurse and then grabbed her by the arm and pushed her against the wall.

"Tell me what the hell is going on," he said.

"Your wife is bleeding," she answered. "Badly."

"No," he shook his head. "That's what happened in my damn dream. Not what really happened."

"Well there were complications," she continued. "You remember that. You left when the doctor wanted to talk to Kate, and she wanted you to get some ice chips. You fell asleep in the hallway."

"Well what's gonna happen then?" he asked.

"We're gonna go in and see what's causing the bleeding," she answered. "Your wife probably won't be able to have any more kids, so you should be prepared for that."

"She wants a daughter," he mumbled.

"I know," she nodded. "But meanwhile would you like to see your son?"

"Josh," he whispered. "His name is Josh."

"Joshua or Josh?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Kate didn't say."

"Come on Mr. Ford," she began. "Let's go see your son. He's really beautiful. You can hold him."

"Kate would want to hold him first," he mumbled.

"She did," the nurse answered. "She held him as soon as he was born. And I think she would be ok with you going to spend some time with the baby instead of worrying about her."

"Well I ain't gonna stop worrying till I know she's ok," he replied.

"I know," she smiled weakly. "Come on."

Sawyer followed her down the hall and to the nursery. Sawyer followed the nurse into the nursery and she handed him the baby. He was sleeping already. Sawyer looked down at the tiny baby and his heart was pounding.

"Hi buddy," he whispered. "I know that I don't smell as good as mommy does, but she's gonna be able to hold you real soon. She's gonna be just fine."

"She will be," the nurse reassured him.

Sawyer stayed in the nursery for 2 hours, when finally they came and got him. Kate was now in a regular room, which pissed Sawyer off because they hadn't bothered to come get him as soon as she was out of surgery. He sat down next to her and she took his hand.

"How's Josh?" she asked.

"He's perfect," Sawyer answered. "He's just as handsome as his daddy."

"You have another mini me?" she questioned.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry Kate. I'm so sorry you didn't get the daughter you wanted."

"Well," she sighed. "We can just try again I guess."

"I thought you said 4 kids was enough," he chuckled.

"Yeah," she nodded. "4 kids is enough, but if we wait a little while, can we try again anyway?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Of course we can try again. I want you to have a daughter. So yeah. We'll try again."

He kept thinking about what the nurse said about Kate probably not being able to have anymore kids, but he wasn't about to tell Kate that, until the doctor told her himself. He squeezed her hand and then lifted it to his mouth. He kissed her hand, and then she pulled him into a hug. She moaned softly from hurting herself.

"You ok?" he whispered.

"I'm still in pain," she answered. "I gotta take it easy for a while. They're gonna make me stay for 3 to 5 days. But I just wanna go home and be with my kids."

"No," he shook his head. "You're gonna do what the doctor tells you to do. And the kids are gonna come a little later to see their baby brother."

"4 boys," she groaned.

"Kate?" the doctor asked, walking into the room. "Can I talk to you and your husband for a bit?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Is it about the baby?"

"It's about your operation Kate," he continued. "There was a lot of bleeding after you gave birth, so we had to repair that."

"I know," Kate whispered. "Did something go wrong?"

"Well, there was a lot of damage," he answered. "We were able to save all your reproductive organs, but the chances of you being able to have any more children is almost none."

"None?" Kate asked with tears coming into her eyes.

"Not completely none, but with your age, and the fact that you have already had 4 kids…we just aren't sure if your uterus will be able to carry a baby to term."

"Ok," she nodded.

"That all?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Unless you two have any questions."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Actually one. When can we have sex?"

"You know the rules," he chuckled. "At least 6 weeks."

"Did the surgery affect that?" Sawyer asked.

"No," he shook his head. "She should be recovered from that in 4 to 6 weeks too. Any more questions?"

"No," Kate replied. She breathed in deeply, and shook her head again. The doctor left and Kate turned toward Sawyer and began sobbing. She clung onto his shirt and he put his arms around her.

"It's not fair," she whispered.

"Kate," he started. He bent her head back so he could look at her in the eyes. "Kate I know that it's not fair. It's not fair for you to be in a house full of boys, but at least we have kids. I mean…I know you want a daughter, but we have 4 kids Sweetheart. Some people don't even have that."

"I know," she sniffled. "But I already had it in my mind, that we were gonna try one more time. Just once more. I want to see him. I want to see my baby."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll wheel you down to the nursery. Let's go."

Sawyer helped Kate into the wheelchair. He pushed her down the hall toward the nursery. When they got there Sawyer pushed her into the room. Sawyer wheeled her over to the bed where Josh was.

"What are you doing?" the nurse asked.

"I'm handing my son to my wife. She hasn't been able to see him all cleaned up."

Sawyer picked the baby up and handed him to Kate. Kate looked down at the baby and then looked back up at Sawyer.

"You're right," she smiled. "He looks just like you. But see this is why I want a daughter. I want a little girl with curly brown hair."

"And gorgeous green eyes," he whispered. "You'll get pregnant Kate. If anyone can beat the odds, it's you. In fact…I went down to the gift shop, and your book was there."

"What?" she asked. "It was at the hospital gift shop?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "See? So you are going to over come this tiny obstacle."

"It took forever to get pregnant with this one…now we have another problem," she sighed.

"Kate, you'll get pregnant," he shook his head. "We'll make sure of it. But for now…look at the baby in your arms."

He bent down and touched Josh's cheek with the back of his hand. He smiled widely and yawned.

"Look," he whispered. "He likes me."

"Oh, it's just a reflex," the nurse argued. "The babies are always either smiling or crying."

"No," Kate shook her head. "Not our son. He knows how awesome his daddy is."

"I love you," he said touching her face and kissing her softly.

"I want to have sex," she told him.

"Don't lie," he chuckled. "You may love me, but you're in no condition to be trying to have sex."

"Damn you got me," she smiled.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too James," she answered with a smile.

**A/N: OMG…I'm such a flipping nerd! Hahah. I'm watching Rent (the musical), and it reminds me so much of the relationships in Lost. Hah. For those of you who know it…Roger and Mimi are so Sawyer and Kate haha. (Except without drugs and AIDS). Your Eyes is like Sawyer's theme haha. Because you can definitely see it in his eyes how much he loves Kate. God I'm such a nerd! I was cracking up at the end of Rent because I'm laughing at myself for being such a dork. And actually Maureen kinda reminded me of Kate too because they both flirt with everyone haha. Angel is probably Charlie because the death of Charlie kind of made the camp split up. I guess that's really the only two things that reminded me of Lost, but still. Anyway I went back and forth so much whether to have the baby be a girl or a boy, I hope that you all approve. Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: supersolanea- I know I'm evil…haha. I do have a method to my evilness. I definitely will take your suggestion to heart.  
****Gia-Thank you so much. I was hoping that the dream would make sense and not be out of nowhere  
****Katie-I'm glad you enjoyed it. You should totally watch the movie Rent. It's so amazing. It's one of the best musicals ever in my opinion.**

**7 and a Half Weeks Later**

Kate and Sawyer were both being driven crazy by all the kids. When it had been exactly 6 weeks since Kate had given birth they tried messing around, but Logan had interrupted them and refused to leave their room, until Josh started crying and Kate left to go get the baby. Every night since then something else had stopped them from having sex. Both Kate and Sawyer asked themselves why they had 4 kids, and why they were even considering trying having a 5th.

Sawyer came through the door and was greeted by the kids. Xander was holding on to Josh awkwardly. He was starting to drop him. Logan put his arms around Sawyer's leg.

"What are you doin'?" he asked with a chuckle. He picked up Josh who was beginning to fuss. Josh smiled at Sawyer widely. Sawyer bounced him slowly.

"Hi daddy," Logan said looking up at him.

"Hi," he replied. "What are you guys up to? Where's your momma?"

"She's in your room," A.J answered. "We're supposed to baby sit."

"Huh?" he asked shaking his head. "I don't think so."

"Yeah huh daddy," A.J nodded. "We apost to sit in the living room and watch TV quietly. We only get you when Josh cries."

"Kate?" Sawyer asked loudly as he walked back through the house to the bedroom. The door was closed, and he could hear Kate moaning, but then he heard his own moaning. He knocked on the door and let himself in. Kate was in bed under the covers, and she was watching their sex tape. He smirked at her and walked toward the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"Watching us," she whispered. "Watching what I want you to be doing to me. I want you to fuck me Sawyer. I want you to make me scream so loud."

"Hmm," he moaned softly and sat down next to her on the bed. He kissed her lips softly, but she opened her mouth widely and turned it more passionate.

"Will you make me scream?" she asked. "I'm so fucking wet right now. I've been making my self wet just watching us…not even touching myself."

"Damn Freckles," he whispered.

"So will you please do those things to me?" she questioned, pointing at the TV screen. "I love watching you and me fucking. Those things you do to me…you make me wet without even trying. Do you want me to give you a hand job so that you can be hard enough for me?"

"Oh, I guarantee you Freckles, you won't have to touch me," he whispered. He took her hand in his and put it against his jeans where he was growing hard.

"I need your thick hard cock in me James," she said.

"It's the middle of the afternoon Freckles," he began. "The kids are still awake."

"That's why we gotta do this somewhat quickly," she whispered. She flung the blankets off of herself and was wearing only her bra and underwear. Sawyer looked her up and down and then leaned toward her and kissed her again. She got onto his lap and started running her hands up the front of his shirt. He lifted his shirt off his head, and continued to kiss her.

"Shouldn't we wait till tonight when the kids are fast asleep?" he asked with a whisper.

"You don't want me?" she asked seductively.

"Baby," he shook his head. "I've been waitin' 7 weeks…of course I want you. I would have had sex with you every night for the last week and a half, if the kids hadn't interrupted us."

She pushed him down and laid down on top of him, making sure that she was rubbing against him, and making him harder. She started kissing him hard and fast. He breathed in deeply, but she only swallowed his breaths with her mouth. She started working on his pants quickly.

"What's your rush," he whispered.

"Told ya," she answered. "We gotta do this fast."

She pushed his pants down and started kissing him again. He groaned loudly and flipped them over. He ran his hands down her body and continued to kiss her lips. She moved her hips against him and sighed into his mouth.

"Fuck me Sawyer," she whispered. He moaned again and took of her bra in one swift movement. He pulled her underwear off and kissed down her body. She pulled him back up her body and started kissing his mouth. She wrapped her legs around him and pushed him into her. She started panting loudly, and he covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shh," he chuckled. "They'll hear you."

"I don't care," she groaned. "Harder Sawyer."

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. Suddenly she flipped back over and pushed herself onto him further. She moaned quietly into his ear and continued to move on him. They were both moaning and breathing hard and fast, but quietly. Kate came and then Sawyer did. She rolled off of him and giggled softly.

"I missed you," she sighed. "I missed you inside of me."

"I missed it too Freckles," he replied. She leaned against his chest and smiled widely. She started dozing, but not falling completely asleep. They were laying in each other's arms for a total of 5 minutes and they were both still totally naked when they heard a loud crash and screaming and crying coming from the family room. Kate jumped out of bed and wrapped her robe around her self. Sawyer jumped up just as quickly and only put his boxers on, but Kate was already running down the hall. Logan was laying on the ground, not moving. She rushed over to him and picked him up. As soon as she picked him up he started screaming and holding his head. Kate didn't see any marks and looked to the other children who were crying.

"What happened?" Kate asked, trying to stay calm.

"I dunno momma," Xander sobbed. "He just fell down and wouldn't wake up."

"Oh God," she whispered. "Sawyer!"

Sawyer was standing right behind her and he came up and took Logan from her before she collapsed. Logan continued to cry, and now Josh was awake and crying too. All 4 kids were crying loudly, each one almost trying to out cry the other. Kate lowered herself to the couch and looked up at Sawyer.

"We have to go to the hospital Sawyer," she whispered. "We have to go right now…what if he's dying Sawyer."

"Shh," Sawyer shook his head and sat down. "He's not gonna die Kate. Let's just call the McCall's and go to the hospital."

"Can you call?" she asked, looking very out of it. "I don't think I can talk to anyone."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Here. Take Josh."

He set Logan down on the couch who had started to calm down, but he was still holding on to his head. Sawyer picked up Josh and handed him to Kate. Kate just barely had her arms around him, but when he was in Kate's lap he calmed down. Xander and A.J continued to cry and both of them were crying loudly.

"You guys!" Kate screamed, finally mad enough at hearing them cry. "Shut the fuck up!"

Both of them ran from the room and Kate sighed deeply. She herself began to cry and Josh started crying all over again. She got a better grip on him and held him closely.

"Shh," she sobbed. "You're ok baby. I'm sorry momma yelled."

It hadn't been very long before Sawyer walked back into the room with their 15 year old next door neighbor Suzy. Kate stood up and shook her head.

"No," she said. "You can't handle all the kids by yourself."

"Sure I can," Suzy replied. "I promise. Where are the twins?"

"I yelled at them," Kate sniffled. "I should go say goodbye."

She walked down the hall into the twins' room. She opened the door and saw that both boys were laying on their beds staring at the ceiling.

"Guys," Kate whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm just-I love you. I'm just so scared about your brother. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"You said the f-word momma," Xander frowned.

"I know," Kate nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say bad words buddy. Do you forgive me?"

"Is Logan ok?" he asked.

"I dunno," Kate sobbed and shook her head. Both boys scrambled off their beds and hugged Kate tightly. Kate started sobbing and crying even harder. She felt a hand touch her back and stood up. Sawyer put his arms around her and whispered into her ear.

"We should go."

She nodded and turned back to the boys.

"Your daddy and I are gonna take your brother to the hospital ok? Suzy is gonna take care of you, and we're gonna call you as soon as we know anything ok?"

"Ok mommy," Xander nodded.

"We need a doctor!" Kate yelled as she ran into the hospital, holding Logan tightly. Sawyer was running behind her. She got to the front desk and looked at the receptionist who almost immediately stood up and walked around the counter.

"Is he ok?" the receptionist asked.

"No!" Kate yelled.

"Too loud momma," Logan whispered.

"He seems alright," the receptionist replied.

"Well he's not," Kate breathed. "He passed out at home for no reason."

"Did he eat anything weird today?"

"So now food makes you pass out?" Kate asked. "Get me a damn doctor."

A doctor came and took Logan from Kate's arms. She watched him walk down the hall with him and turned back to Sawyer. Sawyer took her by the hands and helped her sit down. She was already beginning to cry again, but feeling Sawyer's hand on her back and rubbing her back gently made her feel a little better. They stayed almost completely silent, aside from the occasional They were there for only 30 minutes when a doctor came out with Logan in his arms.

"What's going on?" Kate asked. "What is wrong with our son?"

"We're going to admit him," the doctor answered. "I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with him, so we're going to do some tests on him tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Kate scoffed. "What's wrong with tonight?"

"We're gonna have some specialists come look at your son," he answered. "They won't be here till tomorrow. First thing in the morning I will have the tests started."

"Will we be allowed to stay?" Kate whispered.

"Of course," he nodded.

That night Sawyer and Kate curled up on a chair together. Neither of them were very comfortable, but they both wanted to hold each other. When they woke up there was already a doctor there looking in on Logan.

"We're gonna take him down for the tests now," the doctor whispered. "We'll be gone for probably an hour and a half."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Will you give us any updates?"

"If we figure out what's wrong with him or if there is any changes of course we will," he replied. "Don't worry. Logan is going to be just fine."

"Could it be cancer?" Kate asked.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"Because why else would he faint for no reason?" she asked.

"We're not sure," he shook his head. "But don't worry about anything serious until you have to ok?"

"Ok," she nodded. The doctor left the room and Kate was still sitting on Sawyer's lap. She turned toward him and started kissing him.

"What are you doing?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm making out with you," she whispered. "I want to fuck you."

"Kate," he shook his head. "How the hell can you think about that right now?"

"Because I want to fuck you," she answered. "I want you to make me feel better. You are the only thing that can make me feel better Sawyer."

"Logan is gonna be ok honey," he whispered. "I promise you."

She moved against him again and kissed his lips. He sighed and pushed her away again. The more he pushed her the more she pushed back. She moved to his neck and started sucking on it softly. She took his hands in hers and put his hands against her body. He groaned softly and shook his head.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Please," she moaned. "Just this once, make love to me and make me forget everything."

He stood up and started kissing her. She pulled her pants down over her hips.

"James," she whispered. He pushed her up against the wall and started touching her with his hand. She breathed in deeply and kissed him to muffle her moan. He played with her for a few more minutes, and she came apart in his arms. She started sobbing against him. He helped her pull her pants back up and she continued to cry against him. He walked backwards back to the chair and sat down still holding her in his arms.

"Do you by any chance feel better?" he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. He stroked her hair and they waited for the doctor to come back. When the doctor got back Kate was sleeping on Sawyer's lap. The doctor wheeled Logan into the room. Logan was wide awake and his eyes only opened wider when he saw Sawyer.

"Dada!" he exclaimed. Sawyer carefully stood up and put Kate back into the chair. Surprisingly she stayed asleep, but Sawyer rushed next to the bed.

"Hey buddy," he whispered.

"Look daddy," Logan whispered. He held up his hand and showed Sawyer his IV.

"Does it hurt Mini?" Sawyer asked.

"Nuh uh?" he shook his head.

"What's wrong with my son?" Sawyer asked the doctor.

"We ran a few tests," the doctor began. "He has-sir he has a small mass on his heart."

"What?" Sawyer asked, as if he had no idea what the doctor just said. "What the hell does that mean?"

"He has a tumor on his heart."

"His heart?" Sawyer questioned. "That makes no sense. He was holding his head and he fainted. "What does that have to do with his heart?"

"We think that he might have hit his head when he fell," he answered. "He probably fainted because of pain in his chest and then hit his head on the way down."

"Buddy?" Sawyer asked. "This is really really important. Yesterday did your chest hurt before you fell down?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "It hurt really bad daddy. But my head hurt when I woke up."

Sawyer ran his hand over Logan's head and sighed deeply.

"Is it cancer?" Sawyer whispered.

"Your son needs a new heart," he replied.

"That isn't what he asked!" Kate yelled and stood up. Sawyer took her gently by the arm as she lunged toward the doctor. "Does our 4 year old son have cancer!"

"Yes," the doctor mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

"What does that mean?" Sawyer asked clenching his teeth and trying hard not to cry in front of Kate.

"It means he needs a new heart and he'll need to go through some chemo."

"What happens if he doesn't get a heart?" Sawyer questioned. "I mean, how much time does he have."

"He has about 6 months," the doctor mumbled. Kate collapsed against Sawyer and Sawyer knew that she had fainted. He tried holding her up and slapping her face softly to wake her up but she was out cold. Sawyer lowered her into the chair and closed his eyes.

"Your son is 4th on the wait list," the doctor continued.

"What?!" Sawyer screamed. "4th! Move him to the top of that goddamn list or we're gonna have a major problem."

"Sir I can't just move him to the top of the list," he sighed. "I know this is hard, and it's probably the hardest thing that any parent would ever have to go through, but there are 3 other children who need hearts too…they have even less time than your son."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Sawyer asked. "Just wait. Just sit here and wait for 6 months while we watch our child die?"

"I'm so sorry-"

"Yeah you said that already," Sawyer mumbled. "Go get some smelling salts so that my wife can wake up and face the fact that our 4 year old probably won't make it to his 5th birthday."

The doctor left and Sawyer turned to the wall and punched it as hard as he could. It was a cinderblock wall so nothing happened to the wall, but he was pretty sure that he heard several pops, indicating that he probably broke some bones, and/or dislocated a few of his knuckles. He sat down on the floor and put his head down on his knees. He was right…the only thing that he could do now was for 4 families to loose their children so that his could have a heart.

**A/N: I know I'm a bad person hah. Sorry for the semi-short chapter. I hope you still liked it. I will probably update at some point on Friday, but tonight/tomorrow/Thursday is Lost night for me. I'm so excited. Evi Lilly was on Leno last night and then Jimmy Kimmel tonight. She's so adorable. She's a complete dork, but so am I so it makes me happy that someone as gorgeous as she is can be a bigger dork than me. Hehe. Anyway I hope that you all take time to review. Love ya! **


	27. Chapter 27

**2 Months Later**

Sawyer and Kate were able to take Logan home a few days after he was in the hospital. Neither of them wanted to take him home because they wanted him at the hospital just in case there was any change or any new heart for Logan. The doctor said it would be best for Logan if he could stay at home. Kate hadn't slept very much at all. All she did was sit on the couch and stare into nothingness. Sawyer stopped going to work because she wasn't even coherent enough to take care of the kids.

She was laying on the couch and the twins were at school, and Logan was taking a nap. Sawyer came over to the couch and sat down next to Kate's head, holding the baby. She moved slightly as she felt Sawyer sit next to her. He started playing with her hair.

"Stop!" she yelled. "Don't touch me." She smacked his hand away, and realized that it was Josh's hand not Sawyer's. Josh started crying. Sawyer sighed softly and put Josh down on the floor. He pushed Kate into a sitting position and she put her head down on his shoulder and sniffled.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just-I can't handle this Sawyer. I can't loose him."

"We won't," he shook his head. "Sweetheart you have to stop driving yourself crazy. You need to get some sleep or you're gonna get sick."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and laid down on the couch, with Kate laying on top of him. She moaned softly and then they both heard Josh crying. She sat up and picked up Josh. He stopped crying when Kate held him. Kate looked at Sawyer and nodded her head.

"You're right," she whispered. "I have to start sleeping so that I can be here for Josh, and Logan…and the boys. I've been a horrible mom."

"No," he replied. "You've just been human Kate. You've been worrying about Logan. It's allowed. Now…come 'ere."

He stood up and pulled Kate into a standing position. He lead her into the bedroom and put her into bed. He covered her with the comforter and bent down to kiss her.

"Go to sleep," he whispered. "Get some rest."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly. She pulled him down on top of her and held him against her in her arms. He stopped kissing her and stood up.

"Go to bed Freckles," he chuckled.

"Thanks James," she smiled. He kissed her once more and left the room. He walked down the hall and went into Logan's room. Logan was still sleeping soundly. He sat down next to his bed and took him by the hand. Sawyer was never a religious man. He used to go to church with his mom and then when his mom died, his grandma took him, but the moment he left his grandma's house when he was 17, he stopped going to church. After his parents died he didn't believe in God anymore. His grandma said it was blasphemous, but he didn't care. If there really was a God, then why did he let his mom and dad die? Why did all those horrible things happen to him. Sawyer folded his hands and looked up to the sky.

"If You exist," Sawyer sighed. "You won't let my son die."

"Daddy," Logan whispered. "Who are you talking to?"

"I'm talkin' to God," he mumbled.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Well some people think that God is really powerful," he replied. "God can save if he wants to."

"Why?" he asked.

"I dunno," he chuckled. "I don't know if I even believe in Him buddy."

"I think He'll save me," he nodded. "Mommy talked to Him too."

"I love you," he whispered. "You have to be ok."

"Love you too dada," he said hugging him. Sawyer left the room and went into the living room where Josh still was. He picked him up and sat down on the couch.

"This really sucks," Sawyer mumbled. Every time the phone rang Kate and Sawyer freaked out and hoped that it was something to do with a heart for Logan. The phone ran and Sawyer picked it up quickly.

"Hello?" he asked. He heard Kate coming running down the hall.

"Mr. Ford?" the voice asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Is your son Logan Ford?" he asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"We have a heart for your son," he stated.

"But he's number 4 on the list," Sawyer argued. "How?"

"There's a woman here who is a match to your son…she's dying, but she has a perfect heart," the man answered. "If you wanna bring your son in tonight we'll do the surgery tomorrow and he'll be recovering in no time."

Sawyer hung up the phone and looked up at Kate.

"We have a heart," he breathed.

"How?" she asked.

"Who cares?" Sawyer exclaimed. He stood up and went to get Logan. Kate kept asking questions to Sawyer on the way to the hospital that Sawyer didn't know the answer to. When they went into the hospital and checked Logan in, the doctor came to talk to them. He sat down across from Sawyer and Kate.

"I wanna meet whoever is going to give us a heart for Logan," Kate stated.

"Well Mrs. Ford, you already do know her," the doctor answered. "Diane Janssen is giving you the heart."

"What?" Kate asked. "What do you mean?"

"Mrs. Janssen is sick too," he responded. "She has brain cancer. Her heart is in perfect condition, but she has almost no chance to live. She said that she wanted to give her grandson her heart so that she could do one good thing for her only daughter."

"Can-can I see her?" Kate asked. "I really wanna see her."

"She wants to see you too Mrs. Ford," he nodded. "And she said that she really wants to meet her grandson that she gets to save."

Kate went into the room first. Sawyer waited right outside the room with Logan and Kate walked in the room by herself. She sat down next to her mom's bed and looked down at her. She looked very sick and Kate wanted to cry as soon as she saw her.

"Mom?" Kate whispered. "Mommy? It's Katie."

"Katherine?" Diane asked.

"Hi mom," Kate sniffled.

"Katherine, I'm so sorry," she shook her head. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you."

"It's ok," she sobbed. She stood up and went to the door. "Do you wanna meet your grandson? Sawyer…bring him in."

Sawyer walked into the room and sat down next to Kate. Logan hid his face in Sawyer's neck and shook his head.

"He's kinda shy," Kate smiled.

"Just like his mom," Diane stated.

"Mom this is my husband, Sawyer," Kate told her. "You sort of met him a few years ago…on my birthday when it was raining."

"I remember," she nodded. "Thank you for taking care of my daughter…and my grandsons."

"This is Logan," he smiled. "Logan this is your grandma. Can you say grandma?"

"Gramma!" he exclaimed.

"Close enough," Diane chuckled. She squeezed Logan's hand and looked at Kate. "I'm gonna help save you little man. I hope you don't hate me, Katherine. I don't want to die with you still hating me."

"Mom," she whispered. "You're saving my son. I'm not going to be able to hate you anymore. And I never hated you mom. I just hated him."

"I love you Katie," she said quietly.

"I love you too mom," Kate sobbed.

Sawyer and Kate waited in the waiting room for the operation to be done. It was supposed to be a 15 hour procedure. Kate was sitting next to Sawyer with her head resting on his shoulder. She kept getting up and walking down the hall, and then she would come back, acting as if nothing was wrong. After she got up and went down the hall for the 6th time Sawyer followed her. She went into the Women's bathroom and Sawyer went directly in after her. There was a young girl washing her hands and she looked at Sawyer in awe.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "No boys allowed…this is a girls bathroom."

"It's ok," he shook his head. He heard the sound of someone throwing up and went to the stall where it was coming from. He pushed the door opened softly and knelt next to Kate. Kate had her head in the toilet. When she felt Sawyer kneel next to her she wrapped her arms around him and sniffled softly. He stood up and brought her with him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be," he replied. "Kate you're just worried. Our son is in surgery…of course you're not going to feel good."

"I just want him to be ok," she mumbled.

"I know," he nodded. "He's gonna be ok. All because of your mom."

They went back to the waiting room and waited the rest of the time in silence. It had been a long 15 hours. Sawyer wanted Kate to try and go to sleep, but she still refused. She took his hand in hers and squeezed his hand tightly.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I really want a baby girl."

"I know," he nodded. "I know you do darlin'. And eventually I will get you pregnant. If any two people can make a baby, it's us. We'll just have to start having non-stop sex once we get home and Logan is recovering."

"Why wait?" she asked. "Let's start tonight. We'll go home and start making a daughter."

"Well first of all you won't wanna leave Logan here all night by himself," he smirked.

"Then we'll stay," she answered. "But we'll have sex later tonight in the bathroom…while Logan is sleeping. I'll sit up on the bathroom counter and you'll push into me. And we'll get me a daughter."

"How romantic," he replied and kissed her softly on the nose.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded and stood up. "Is our son ok? Please tell me that he's ok and everything went well."

"Everything went beautifully," the doctor nodded. "He's in the recovery room. He is awake, but he's still groggy and will probably sleep for the next couple days because of the medicine and anesthesia, but he should be just fine. He was asking for his mommy and daddy."

Kate smiled at Sawyer and the followed the doctor into the recovery room. Logan was laying in the bed and he definitely did look like he was drugged up on something. Kate knew that it was only the pain killers, but it was still weird to see her son like that. She walked toward him and put her hand against his forehead.

"Hey baby," she sniffled.

"Mommy," Logan sobbed. "My chest hurts!"

"Shh," she whispered. "I know."

"But my chest hurts," he cried.

"I know it does honey, but you're all better now," Kate stated. "Everything is going to be ok."

"Where's gramma?" he asked. Kate closed her eyes and shook her head. Sawyer came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Grandma was really sick, just like you," Sawyer started. "But because of your grandma you get to be all better."

"Is gramma in heaven, with God?" Logan asked.

"Yeah baby," Kate nodded. "Grandma is in heaven."

That night Sawyer and Kate were given a twin sized bed to share. Kate curled up next to Sawyer and started stroking his chest softly, and completely non-sexually. He kissed her on the top of the head and rubbed her back.

"I really need to have a daughter Sawyer," she whispered. "And I wanna name her Diane."

"Well," he mumbled. "You got me really excited about the name Caroline, Freckles."

"Ok," she nodded. "So instead of Caroline Anne…how about Caroline Diane?"

"Alright," he chuckled. "But let's just get our son through this night…and then we can have a daughter."

"Right now," she said flipping over on top of him. "I want you. I need you."

"Baby," he whispered. "You know how much I love you…and I almost always want you…but we're laying in a hospital, right next to our 4 year old son. I don't think that would be too hot."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "You're right. But will you just hold me?"

"All night Kate," he replied pulling her closer.

A month later, Logan was doing almost 100 percent better. Sawyer and Kate were sitting on the front porch as the kids all played in the front yard. Xander and A.J were riding their bikes and Logan was trying to keep up with them. Kate was holding Josh on her lap and he was playing with her necklace. He was almost 6 months old, and was fascinated with anything shiny. Kate's diamond ring really fascinated him too and he put it in his mouth once and almost swallowed it. Logan came running up to Kate, and Kate almost thought something was wrong, but then she saw that he was laughing.

"Mommy will you come play?" he asked.

"Sure," she chuckled. She handed Josh over to Sawyer. Josh held on tightly to her necklace, and when she pried it from his fingers he started screaming.

"Josh," Sawyer sighed. "Buddy, it's all good. It's just a necklace…it really worries me that he loves women's jewelry so much."

Kate smiled and ran with Logan into the middle of the yard. The boys all jumped on her and started tickling her. She chuckled and started tickling them right back.

"Momma," Xander began. "I wanna learn how to ride my bike."

"You know how," Kate answered.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Without training wheels. Will you teach me?"

"Sure," Kate chuckled. She spent the next hour, alternating trying to teach Xander and A.J. By the end of only one hour they were both riding with ease. Logan wanted to learn too, but Kate said that he would have to wait till he was a little older. Not only was Logan too little in her opinion, but also since he had just had a heart transplant, she didn't think it was the smartest idea to start falling off of a two wheeler bike. He threw a temper tantrum, but that still didn't change Kate's mind.

That night Kate was laying next to Sawyer. They were both trying to get to sleep, but both of them were having a hard time falling asleep. Kate knew that Sawyer was still awake, from the lack of snoring. She flipped over to face him. He kept his eyes, closed, but he knew that she was now facing him.

"You're not asleep," she told him. She didn't wait for him to answer before she pushed his boxers down and crawled on top of him. She was still dressed. She was wearing her underwear and a tank top. She pushed against him and kissed his lips. He groaned softly and Kate felt him growing under her.

"Freckles," he moaned. "What are you doing?'

"I'm kissing you," she answered. "And touching you."

She reached her hand down and started stroking him gently. He smiled up at her and kissed her lips. She pushed her underwear down over her hips. He pulled them the rest of the way off and chuckled up at her.

"It's midnight," he chuckled.

"So what," she shook her head.

"Well I ain't complainin'," he whispered. She pushed down on top of him and he flipped them over.

"Fuck me," she said out loud. "I want you to fuck me so hard that I have bruises."

He pushed into her harder and she let out a loud moan. He pulled out of her and then pushed back into her. She started moaning loud and pushing against her just as hard as he was pushing against him. She came and so did he. He kissed her lips and then moved his hands down her body.

"I can't stop touching you," he whispered.

"I don't want you to stop touching me," she shook her head. "I want you to start with your fingers, but end with your mouth."

He chuckled at her and pushed her down on her back. He pushed two fingers into her and kissed her neck. She moaned again and pushed her hips up against his hand. He put his other hand up her tank top. He started touching her nipple gently. She pushed against his hand even harder.

"I'm gonna lick you," he said against her neck. He licked her neck and moved his mouth along her jaw and up to her mouth.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Hold on just a minute longer," he replied. He moved down her body and started touching her harder. She moaned again and he put his mouth against her. He flicked his tongue and she started screaming loudly. He didn't stop even though she was probably being much too loud. He made her come and then moved back up her.

"I can't wait to fuck you tomorrow," she breathed and wiped her forehead off. She leaned against him and he ran his hand up and down her back.

**2 Weeks Later**

It was a Friday afternoon. Sawyer had come home from work, and Kate told him that she was going to go run some errands. When she pulled up into the driveway the kids all cam running outside to greet her. She chuckled at them and started hugging them. She went into the house and Sawyer was just putting Josh down for a nap. Kate walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I have a secret," she whispered.

"What?" he asked with a chuckle. "You're really really horny and the boys are gonna give us some time to spend the afternoon ravishing each other."

"Close," she continued in a whisper. "I'm pregnant Sawyer. It's only been a few months of trying, but I'm definitely for sure pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test earlier today…in fact I took 3, but then I decided that before I would celebrate with you, I would find out for sure…and the doctor said that it's definitely positive."

**A/N: OMG! Lost was good last night. There wasn't enough Sawyer! It's starting to really piss me off. He was only in a couple scenes, but I have a feeling that in 2 weeks the finale is going to be crazy amazing. I just have this great feeling that we're gonna get some sweeeet Skate scenes, so I'm psyched up. Anyway I hope you all liked my chapter. I know that it was semi-short, but I hope that you review! **


	28. Chapter 28

Kate was pregnant. Part of her was very happy and ecstatic, and the other part made her nervous and scared about having a 5th kid. By the time the baby was born the twins were going to be almost 7, Logan would be almost 6, and Josh would be a year and a half. She was at home with the kids and Sawyer was at work. The twins were in their room playing, and Logan was sitting next to Kate as she read him a story. She was holding Josh on her lap as she read.

"Momma," Logan started. "I don't want to go to the hosital."

"Well," she sighed. "I don't like it either, but we have to go back and make sure that you're still healthy and perfect."

"But I have to be," he whispered. "Gramma saved me."

"I know," she nodded. "But just think of it like a check up. You have to go to the doctor once a year because we have to see if everything is ok."

"Will I have to have a shot?!" he exclaimed.

"Logan," she chuckled. "You had major surgery and you're scared of a little shot?"

"Yes," he sobbed.

"Honey, you're not gonna get a shot, I promise," she shook her head.

"I want daddy," he pouted. "Will he come to the hosital tomorrow with us?"

"Yes," she replied. "I promise, your daddy is gonna be there too."

She kissed him on the forehead and started to read again. Logan fell asleep against her and Kate heard the door open. Sawyer walked into the house and went over to the couch. Kate had Logan laying on one of her arms and Josh in her other.

"Help," she whispered. Sawyer took Josh from her arms and Logan laid down further on Kate's lap. Kate smiled up at Sawyer and he sat down next to her.

"How'd things go today?" he whispered.

"Fine," she answered. "The boys are playing in their room. Logan is scared of the hospital. He doesn't want to go to his appointment tomorrow, and to be honest I don't want to go either."

"Freckles," he began. "Logan is going to be just fine. He's got a good heart right?"

"Yeah," she said. "But he's-God Sawyer what if it didn't work. What if our little boy still has cancer? It's like the worst thing that could possibly happen."

"Well, I can think of worse things hon," he replied. "I can think of some pretty terrible things that could happen. He could be in the hospital all the time. He's ok Kate."

"And what if he's not?" she sniffled.

"We'll get him through it Kate," he whispered. "We're strong. We're Ford's. Neither of us are going to let anything happen to him."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "We can't control what happens to him. We can't protect him from this Sawyer. We're completely helpless. Sawyer, Logan might be sick and we won't know till tomorrow and it just scares me so much because the fate of our son isn't even in our own hands."

"Exactly Freckles," he whispered. "We don't have any control over it babe. We can only be there for him and love him as much as we possibly can. If something happens tomorrow, I'll be there and I'll hold your hand. Kate we'll help each other through it."

"Ok," she nodded.

That night Kate was in the bathroom. She told Sawyer that she was going to take a bath. He was going to join her, but she told him that it wasn't necessary. She had been in the bathtub for 30 minutes. Sawyer went into the bathroom to see if she was going to come to bed anytime soon. He opened the door slowly, and went into the bathroom. Kate was laying with her head against the back of the tub with her eyes closed. She had her headphones on and was moving her head to the beat. He smirked and then noticed that her mouth was opened just a little bit. A soft moan escaped her lips and Sawyer knew that Kate was touching herself. He lifted the headphones off her head and put his mouth next to her ear.

"Hey Pretty Woman," he whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Pretty woman?" she chuckled.

"You know, bubble bath, headphones? I mean I could have scared you and then your head could have gone under the water, but I'm just wondering what you're doing under those bubbles babe."

"None of your business," she smirked.

"Show me your hands," he replied with a whisper.

"My hands are busy," she answered. He took off his boxers and slid into the tub behind her. He put his arms around her and moved them down toward where he knew her hands were already working. She leaned against him and put her head backwards on his shoulder. She moved her hands on top of his and pushed his fingers further into her. She reached down where he was growing under her and started stroking him softly.

"I like this bathtub idea Freckles," he whispered in her ear.

"Me too," she moaned.

"Do you like my fingers in you?" he asked. She nodded and moved her lips to his. "I love your small hand around my huge cock."

"Sawyer," she moaned again. He started playing with her and pleasuring her intensely. She was breathing heavily, but she kept her breaths soft and slow. She kept her mouth against his and she started shaking as he drove her over the edge.

"Can you believe that I'm pregnant?" she asked.

"Sure…why not?" he whispered. He helped her climb out of the tub.

"Well I'm still trying to think it's the truth," she whispered. "I'm still getting ready for the fact that it might be all a dream. I'm not supposed to get pregnant remember?"

"It's something that we both really wanted," he shrugged. "So maybe it was just right timing."

"What about last time?" she whispered. "When we wanted to have Josh it took me forever and a day to get pregnant. We wanted to have a baby then didn't we? And it took almost an entire year for me to get pregnant."

"I know," he nodded. "And of course I wanted you to get pregnant then Kate. I just-maybe this time it was meant to happen right then. It's still kinda scary though isn't it. 5 kids? I'm petrified Freckles."

"Great," she mumbled. "Now you tell me…it's a little late now."

"Kate," he began. "Honey, I'm excited. I'm happy. But I'm allowed to be scared. I'm allowed to think that 5 kids is going to be a lot to deal with."

"What if it's not 5 Sawyer?" she asked. "What if it's twins again?"

"Is it?!" he exclaimed.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean not that I know of anyway. I just wanted to ask what would happen if it was twins. What's gonna happen to us?"

"Nothing will happen to us," he answered. "Kate you can't make yourself crazy. Let's just go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."

The next day Kate and Sawyer were driving Logan to the hospital. He cried the entire way there because he was afraid they were going to give him a shot, even though Kate told him numerously that he wasn't going to get a shot. When they got there Logan refused to get out of the car. Sawyer picked him up and carried him kicking and screaming to the door. When Sawyer got to the door he calmly set Logan down and looked at him.

"Lo," he began. "I promise you…you're not gonna get a shot today. You're just gonna see the nice doctor who saved your life. And the first thing that I want you to do is say thank you. Can you say thank you for me?"

"Thank you," Logan said, with the tears still streaming down his face.

"Ok," he whispered. "I know that this really sucks, and it's not fair…it really sucks for mommy and me too. And you know that if either of us could take your place we would in a second."

"Ok," he nodded.

Kate and Sawyer were waiting in a room with Logan. The doctor had just left to go look at the results of Logan's tests. They had been at the hospital all morning. Logan was laying in Kate's arms sleeping. Kate didn't know how to react or what to do. She looked over at Sawyer who was smiling weakly at her. He reached over and took her by the hand. He knew that nothing he was going to say to her was going to help so he kept his mouth shut.

"Daddy," Logan asked as he began to wake up.

"Yeah, I'm still right here…haven't moved," Sawyer said.

"I wanna sit on your lap," he stated quietly. "Ok momma?"

"Of course it is baby," she whispered. She kissed him on the forehead and handed him over to Sawyer. She watched Sawyer taking care of Logan. He was rubbing his back and whispering something in his ear. Whatever it was made Logan giggle and smile, which made Kate feel better. She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Momma," Logan started. "When can we go home? I wanna go home."

"I do too baby," she nodded. She took him by the hand and squeezed it softly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the doctor asked coming into the room.

"Finally," Kate sighed. "What's going on? Can we go home? Is everything ok?"

"Uhm," the doctor began.

"Shit!" Sawyer yelled. He slammed his hand against the arm of his chair. Logan jumped and his lip started quivering from being scared of Sawyer's yelling and actions.

"Daddy?" he whispered.

"Sorry buddy," Sawyer sighed. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"We found something that's concerning us," he answered. "We're gonna take him in for one more test."

"More?" Kate asked. "Why? He's done every test imaginable today. It's almost time for our other kids to get home from school. We've been here all day."

"Ma'am, I know this isn't any fun, for any of you, but if you want us to make the correct diagnosis for your son we're gonna take him just once more. This test isn't going to take very long so we'll be right back with him. 20 minutes tops."

Kate leaned her head back against the wall behind her and frowned. The doctor looked at her for verification that she understood what he said, but she was staring into space. Acting just like she did when they first diagnosed him with cancer.

"Sir?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "Just hurry back. Make sure that our son is ok. Buddy, they're gonna do one more test…and I know that they're no fun, but it's gonna make you all better ok?"

"What test daddy?" he asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "What's the test called doc?"

"It's called an ultrasound," he replied. "We see your insides with it."

"Can I see?!" Logan asked excitedly.

"Sure, pal," the doctor nodded. Sawyer was still holding Logan, but he handed him over to the doctor and sat down next to Kate. Kate didn't acknowledge him. He sighed loudly, hoping that she would at least look in his direction, but she didn't. He got off the chair and knelt in front of her.

"Honey," he whispered. "It's one more test. He'll be fine."

"But," she sobbed. "He's always had the problems…I mean, maybe the reason that he slept all the time when he was a baby was because of the heart problem. There are things we could have done to prevent it."

"Kate," he shook his head. "He had a bunch of tests done when he was a baby and the doctor's didn't find anything."

"What if they missed something?" she answered. "What if-"

"Kate you can 'what if' till the cows come home, but it ain't gonna change the fact that he's here now. Bad shit has happened to this family, but we always get through it."

"Yeah," she nodded. "And if Logan doesn't make it through this…I won't have any reason to make it through either."

"You stop that right the hell now!" he yelled. He stood up so he was hovering over her. "You know how much I love Logan. Logan is my little mini me and I love him, but if something happens to him I still have a reason to live…I have 5 reasons to live Kate. Do you wanna count with me…Alexander, Anton, Joshua, You, and the little Mini You that is growing inside of you. Now maybe I'm not a reason for you to live, which is totally fine, but you should at least want to live and be around for our 4 other kids. I can't believe you."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "You're right. You're right. I'm just so scared Sawyer."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm scared too."

She leaned against him and he rubbed her back, mimicking what he was doing with Logan just a few minutes before. He sighed softly and continued to rub her back. He sat next to her and held her in his arms. They waited for the doctor to come back. He said it would only be 20 minutes. Sawyer watched the clock on the wall. It had been 25 minutes and Sawyer began to tap his foot. Kate wasn't paying attention to the clock, but she knew that it must be time.

"Where are they?" she whispered.

"Dunno," he mumbled. "But they better the hell hurry up. They were supposed to be 20 minutes."

"Did you really expect them to be only 20 minutes?" she asked.

"Y'know," he began. "I kinda did."

Sawyer continued to watch the clock. Logan and the doctor had now been gone for 35 minutes. Sawyer was about to stand up and go find someone to talk to when the doctor walked into the room, carrying a happy looking Logan. Since he was smiling, both Kate and Sawyer assumed that everything went accordingly.

"Daddy I saw my heart!" he exclaimed.

"Cool," Sawyer smiled. "So everything's ok doc?"

"Actually," he whispered. "Not really no."

Sawyer sunk into his chair next to Kate and set Logan down.

"We're gonna talk about it as soon as nurse Kelly comes to play with Logan."

A short stumpy nurse came into the room and looked down at Logan. She asked him if it would be ok if they went to play for a little while and Logan finally agreed. At first he didn't want to leave Sawyer and Kate's side, and he was still afraid that they were going to give him a shot without his permission. The nurse picked up Logan and whisked him away.

"Ok," Sawyer said with his teeth clenched. "Logan isn't here. Tell us what the fuck is going on with our son right now!"

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "Calm down."

"No!" he yelled. "I've stayed calm throughout this entire goddamn ordeal, and now I'm really pissed off. Tell us what's going on with Logan right now!"

The doctor stayed quiet and Kate folded her arms, agreeing with Sawyer. The doctor took a deep breath and looked at them seriously.

"Logan has a small lump on his lung," he answered. Sawyer put his hands to his face and rubbed his forehead and face. Kate looked at Sawyer and put her head against his shoulder.

"Fuck," she sobbed. He put his arms around her and the doctor sighed again.

"We're gonna try to get him in for surgery tomorrow," the doctor stated.

"What if you don't?" she asked.

"Well, if we don't…it's still gonna be soon," he replied.

"Can we go home tonight?" she questioned.

"Yeah," he nodded. "We're gonna call you first thing tomorrow and see if we can get him in ok?"

"Alright," she whispered.

It was 3:30 when they left the hospital. Kate and Sawyer had driven separately. Sawyer was going to go to work for a few hours but he told her that he was only going in to tell them that they would be short one chef that night, because he wanted to get back home to be with Logan. Kate went and picked up the twins from school and when she got home the babysitter left almost immediately because she had a 4:00 piano lesson. Kate apologized profusely for being late, but she was pissed and asked for more money than Kate had in her wallet, so she was even more aggravated hat she didn't get the pay she thought she deserved. The twins both knew that something was really wrong. Kate flopped down on the couch and picked up Josh. She held him closely, and hoped that he could keep her strong enough to not break down in front of the boys. Logan went into his room and the twins sat in front of Kate, at her feet.

"Mommy," Xander started. "What's the matter?"

"It's just grown up stuff hon," she whispered.

"But Logan had a doctor appointment today," A.J argued. "Did something bad happen? Is Logan sick again?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "He's sick again."

"Does he need a new heart again momma!" Xander exclaimed, obviously worried about his little brother. "I can give part of my heart and A.J can give part of his heart, to make a whole heart for Logan."

Kate sniffled and put Josh down on the couch. She opened her arms and waved them to come up on the couch with her. Both of them hugged her tightly and she took a deep breath.

"Alexander Ford," she whispered. "That is the sweetest thing you have ever said. But you know first of all this time it's not his heart…and second of all…you need your whole heart hon."

"I just wanna help," he answered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's what makes you such a sweetheart. This time it's his lung…do you know what a lung is?"

"I do!" A.J exclaimed. "It makes you breathe right?"

"Good job," she smiled. "How did you get to be so smart? Are you going to high school soon?"

"No mommy I'm in 1st grade!" he exclaimed.

"Well Logan's lung is sick," she told them. "But the doctor is gonna fix it right up."

Kate fed the kids that night on her own. She thought that Sawyer was supposed to be home soon, but it was 8:00 and he still wasn't home. She tucked in Logan who was already starting to be sleepy. She had the other kids go into their room for quiet time. She waited for Sawyer to get home, and while she waited she watched TV. There was some medical show on, which she knew she shouldn't watch but she did anyway. Finally it got to be 9:30 so she decided to have the other kids get into bed and she told them she loved them. She would have stayed up, but instead she just went to her own room to watch TV. She was laying in the bed and she heard the front door open. It made her feel better that he was home. He opened the door and flung his shirt off as he walked toward the bed.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I need you," he mumbled. He kissed her hard and climbed on top of her. She mumbled underneath him.

"Sawyer," she breathed.

"Look," he began. "I've had a really shitty day. The worst day of my life in fact, so I'd like to just be here and fuck my wife. I need to have the end of my day be worth something, and you're the only thing that can make it worth anything."

"Sounds familiar," she smirked. "Remember my worst day?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I had sex with you with no questions asked."

She nodded at him and flipped over on top of him. She started kissing him and removing his belt and pants. She pulled her own underwear off and lowered down on him.

"Do you want me on top?" she whispered. "Do you want me to ride you and fuck you and make you forget this day?"

"Yes," he groaned. She pushed herself onto him and sat up. She started gyrating against him, and he started moaning loudly. He moved his hands up her body and admired the show she was giving him. She was wearing one of his shirts, which was turning him on even more. She took the shirt off and wasn't wearing a bra. He closed his eyes and started moving with her.

"I want your mouth on me," he whispered. She pulled out of him and knelt in front of him. He watched her as she put her mouth over him. He groaned again, and this time loudly. He came into the back of her throat without giving her a full warning, but she didn't care. She came back up his body and laid down with her head resting on his chest.

"Do you feel better?" she asked.

"Not really," he mumbled.

"Gee thanks," she chuckled.

"No, it was awesome," he said running his hand down her back. "Of course I loved every second of that…but it doesn't change my shitty day Kate. Our son has cancer again and he's not even old enough to be in kindergarten yet, and I got fired."

"You got fired?" she asked.

"They told me that I didn't inform them of Logan's appointment, which I didn't, but I called this morning to let them know I wouldn't be in till later. And they told me that it wasn't good enough and I've been taking too much time off."

"You know what then," she sighed. "Screw them! Go open your own restaurant. You're a good enough chef to have your own restaurant. Just do it."

"With what money?" he asked.

"With the money from my bestseller's list book," she smiled.

"Kate that's money for you to write your next bestseller," he shook his head.

"No," she whispered. "It's money for our family…and we should do what's right for this family. I don't need money to write another book. We can figure something out Sawyer. I have to do what's the best thing for all of us. And you _are _a reason for me to live Sawyer. I'm sorry that I got so crazy today, but the thought of losing our baby…it just…it was too much."

"You're so good to me Freckles," he whispered.

"Only because you're good to me," she answered. "We may have our moments, but I know that you love me and I hope you know how much I love you."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know."

The next day Kate and Sawyer were back in the hospital. They were taking Logan in for one more test before they went into the operation. Kate was leaning against Sawyer's shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulder and rubbed her arm.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the doctor asked coming into the room.

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered.

"He's getting prepped for surgery," the doctor began. "We're obviously not going to be able to remove his lung, but we're just going to take the cancer off of his lung. He's gonna need to go through chemo and he'll stay in the hospital for probably around a month."

"Chemo makes you sick right?" Kate sighed and sniffled.

"Yeah," he nodded. "It will make him feel sick, and it will make him lose his hair, but in the long run it's gonna make him all better."

"Ok, you don't have to talk to us like we're 5," she shook her head. "You don't have to say things like 'all better'. As long as he doesn't die."

"We'll take good care of him," the doctor replied. Sawyer nodded and rewrapped his arms around Kate. She put her arms around him too and they waited for the doctor to come back. Every hour someone came to update them, and tell them that everything looked good.

They were now in the room. Logan was sleeping. The doctor hadn't come back to tell them what went on, but the nurses all told them that everything went good. The doctor finally came into the room and sat down.

"We got all of it," he stated.

"Then why does he have to go through chemo?" Sawyer asked.

"Because we want to make sure that every cancer cell is dead," he answered. "Logan will probably have about 5 rounds of chemotherapy, and with the younger children we like to keep them in the hospital just in case anything changes."

"Fine," Kate sighed. "When does he start?"

"Well we want to give him a few days to recover," the doctor responded. "So probably in 3 or 4 days."

"Can we go see him?" Kate asked.

Kate stayed at the hospital for almost 4 days straight. Sawyer spent most of his time there too, but he spent the night at home with the other kids, so that he could get them off to school. He walked into the room and saw Kate sitting on the chair watching as Logan slept.

"Kate," he whispered. "Why don't you go home and take a shower. Get some rest."

"Fuck you," she shook her head. "I don't care that I probably smell like shit…I'm not leaving his side."

"Freckles," he sighed. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. I meant, that you should go home for a little bit and say hi to the other kids. I know you haven't been sleeping here, and tomorrow Logan starts his chemo so you might want to be alert for that."

"I'll be fine," she answered. "Leave me alone."

"Kate," he whispered. "Don't push me away. I know you're just worried…but don't you miss Xander, and A.J and Josh. Because they all miss you a lot."

"Fuck you!" she yelled. "I miss them too! Don't make me feel guilty for staying here with Logan!"

"I'm not!" he yelled back. "I just thought maybe you'd want to go home for a few hours!"

"I'm staying here," she sighed. "I don't care what you say."

"Ok," he sighed. "I'm staying tonight too. Jill came over with Tasha, and they're gonna stay with the boys tonight."

"Alright," she mumbled. "Whatever…it doesn't matter. I just want you to go away and leave me the hell alone. Go take care of the other kids."

"Would you like me to leave?" he asked. "Because I really don't need this. I don't need to get yelled at when I'm only trying to help."

"No daddy," Logan whispered. "Stay here. No more yelling"

Sawyer closed his eyes and smiled at him. He bent over Logan and hugged him softly.

"Ok," he answered. "I won't go anywhere ok?"

"Good," Logan nodded.

"I'll be right back ok?" he asked. Logan nodded and Sawyer left. He sat down outside of the room and put his head down on his knees. He felt someone come up and kneel in front of him. Part of him wanted Kate to leave him the hell alone, but the other part didn't. He lifted his head and a familiar face stared back at him.

"You ok?" she whispered.

"Cassidy," he mumbled.

"Hi," she said. "Are you ok?"

"No," he shook his head. "Everything is falling apart. My son-and my wife. I just don't know-"

He stopped talking and she sat down next to him.

"I know," she nodded. He looked at her quickly and she shook her head. "No. I don't mean about your son. I mean-my daughter. She's here too. This isn't a place for children to be. They shouldn't be in the cancer ward."

"Yeah," he whispered.

"What's your son's prognosis?" she asked.

"I guess ok," he shrugged. "They said that they got it all, but he has to do a round of chemo because he was here a couple months ago getting a new heart."

"Whoa," she stated. "Yeah…my daughter has a really bad prognosis. She's gonna die Sawyer."

"Shh," Sawyer shook his head. "No she's not. Why do you think that?"

"Because the doctor's gave her 2 weeks to live unless by some miracle she can get a new kidney."

Sawyer put his arm around her and she sobbed against his chest. He sat there for a moment and held her. She was sobbing almost uncontrollably and he tightened his arms. He ran his hand down her back and she finally lifted her head. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and she leaned toward him. She kissed his lips softly and he backed away.

"Look," he whispered. "Cassidy…I know that it's hard. And I know you're probably scared-"

"God," she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just-my daughter is going to die…her father and I aren't a match. I just-"

"Cassie," a tall man walked into the hall.

"Is she ok?" Cassidy stood up quickly and walked toward him.

"She's awake," he answered. "She was asking for you."

"Ok," she nodded. Cassidy and the man disappeared into the room. Sawyer sighed deeply and stayed sitting where he was. He was going to go back in 5 minutes.

Logan's door opened quickly and Kate squatted down next to him.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. He stood up and hugged her tightly.

"Me too," he whispered. "We gotta stop this…for Logan."

"You're right," she nodded. "I love you James."

"Right back at ya baby," he answered. He kissed her lips gently and stepped toward her.

"How?" she sniffled.

"Darlin'," he began. "Nothing you could say to me would make me stop loving you. They're just words, and you're just exhausted and terrified, and I know that you didn't mean it. They're only words Freckles. I just left because I didn't want to say something that would make you stop loving me."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Well I definitely wouldn't have forgiven you that quickly if you had said that to me. When you left, he started crying. He thought that we were gonna break up."

"Ain't nothing gonna break us up," he shook his head. "We're like Sonny and Cher. Inseparable."

"Sawyer," she started. "Sonny and Cher did break up."

"Shit…you're right," he answered with a smirk. "Ok…peanut butter and jelly, that's a classic that will never die."

"No," she replied. "It may never die, but it'll kill Logan…he's allergic to peanuts remember?"

"Dammit!" he exclaimed. "OK…third times a charm. We're like no other couple…we have our own legacy that will go down in history as a great couple of the years. It'll be Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, and James and Kate."

"What about Pacey and Joey?" she whispered. "They're a great couple in television."

"Rachel and Ross," he answered.

"Kelly and Zack from Saved by the Bell," she smiled.

"Well their story ended at a fairy tale wedding Kate."

"But they did go to Vegas and almost got married in a cheesy chapel," she argued.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But those couples can't even compare to us. We will always be hotter than them, and have way hotter sex."

"I'll give you that Mr. Ford," she smiled.

"We should have a cute couple name," he chuckled.

"What?" she shook her head.

"Well you know…there was Bennifer," he replied. "Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez…but then it was Jennifer whatever the hell her last name is, like I even care."

"How the hell do you know that?" she asked.

"I read US weekly," he answered.

"O-K," she shook her head.

"Anyway…Brangelina," he replied. "All those stupid Hollywood couples have a cute little nickname."

"Well we could be…Kawyer," she said.

"No," he argued. "It has to start with the guy's name."

"Says who?" she asked.

"Says everyone," he answered. "Love."

"Love?" she asked.

"It's what they called Logan and Veronica, from Veronica Mars."

"How the hell do you know that?" she asked. "You didn't get that from US weekly."

"Well I was talkin' to Suzy," he answered. "The babysitter…and she started talking about this show called Veronica Mars…she said it was a great show, so I've been watching it lately. It's actually not a bad show, for some stupid teenage show. Anyway, two of the characters are Veronica and Logan. He's the belligerent asshole, but she can't help but be drawn to him and love him."

"Well that sounds familiar now doesn't it," she smirked.

"Very," he responded quickly. "Now hush up, I'm tellin' a story. Anyway so they have this dumb name for them…Love…Logan and Veronica."

"Maybe our Logan will meet a Veronica," she said.

"Maybe," he nodded. "Anyway back to what we should call us…so it has to start with the guy's name."

"I got it," she smiled. "And the best part is…it's an actual word, so we can totally talk about us having sex in the same room as pretty much anyone and they won't know what's going on."

"Huh?" he asked. "How the hell is that gonna work."

"I'll tell you," she stated, continuing to smile. "Our name will be Skate…and if I want to have sex…I'll say to you. 'hey you wanna go Skating?'"

He smirked widely and leaned toward her to kiss her.

"Do you know what Skate rhymes with?" he asked.

"Probably a lot of things," she answered.

"Great," he replied. "Hmm…Fate."

"Mate," she interjected.

"Why are we such dorks?" he asked.

"Because that's what we turn into when we're together. But I think it's very fitting. I love you Sawyer."

"I love you too honey," he whispered.

**A/N: hah. Ok I know I know…I'm a huge huge nerd. I can't help it. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please Review!!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I know that I've been a bad person haha…but don't worry…this chapter is going to be much much happier. I'll just let you know that ahead of time.**

Logan had been in the hospital for 2 months. He had his last round of treatment 5 days ago, and the doctors were taking him in for some final tests to make sure everything was ok. They were going home that day whether the doctors said it was ok or not. Kate and Sawyer started taking turns staying at the hospital, but Kate was there way more because she almost always refused to go home. She would go home once a day to take a shower and see the other kids, but it would only be for an hour or two before she would go right back to the hospital.

Kate was 6 months pregnant. The pregnancy was going as planned. Kate didn't let Sawyer name her stomach this time because if it ended up being another boy she would be devastated. Sawyer already knew what they were having. He wanted to know just so he could prepare himself for how Kate might react. Kate said that it was bad luck to know, even though Sawyer reminded her that they didn't know when Josh was born.

Logan came into the room with the doctor and he ran toward Kate. He was crying, so Kate thought there was no way that it could be good news. She picked him up and sighed deeply. Sawyer was standing next to her and looked at Logan. Kate looked at the doctor and he nodded.

"Everything is fine," he replied. "I know it's been a rough couple of months, but everything looked great."

"Ok," Kate breathed. "But then why is he crying."

"Because I told him that he wouldn't see Jeremiah anymore," the doctor answered.

Jeremiah was another little boy who shared a room with Logan. He was going to be fine too, but he had to stay in the hospital for longer. He also didn't live in California so when he went back home Logan wouldn't see him.

"Oh," Kate sighed. "Logan it's ok. Do you want to go home and see your brothers?"

"Yeah," he nodded, becoming a little more happy.

She and Sawyer left the hospital and didn't look back. Sawyer drove home and Kate sat in the back seat with Logan. It was kind of weird knowing that they weren't going to go back to the hospital, but it was also a relief. Kate thought about Jeremiah's parents. They stayed at the hospital almost all the time too. Kate and Jeremiah's mom got close, and they talked about treatment. Sawyer didn't ever see Cassidy again in the hospital. He hoped that it was because Cassidy and her daughter were able to go home and everything was ok, but he had a feeling that that was just wishful thinking.

That night Kate was laying next to Sawyer. She was running her fingers across his chest. He leaned down on her and kissed her softly and slowly.

"We never got to have that make up sex," she stated. "We had that stupid fight and we never had make-up sex…we haven't had sex in 2 months."

"Well we have been a tad preoccupied," he answered with a shrug. "But what do you say? Are we gonna do something tonight?"

"Yeah," she smiled. She rolled over on top of him and started kissing him. She had one leg on either side of him, and sat up. He put his hand up on her stomach. She lifted her shirt up over her head. He gently flipped them over and hovered over her. He kissed down her chest and to her stomach. She put her hand on his face and he came back up her body. He pulled her underwear off and rolled off of her so they were on their sides. They stopped moving, and they just looked at each other. Kate had her hand on each of his cheeks and inched toward him. She pushed his boxers down and he pulled her hips toward his. He didn't wait before pushing into her gently.

"Harder," she whispered. "Fuck me harder Sawyer."

He pulled her hips toward him and lifted her up higher and started kissing her again. He started moving faster, but kept his movements soft. She put her hands on his face and they both watched each other as they came simultaneously. There was a knock on Sawyer and Kate's door. Kate breathed in deeply and rolled away from Sawyer. The door opened a crack.

"Momma," Xander started.

"Yeah," she breathed deeply.

"Can we have a sleepover in here again?" he asked. A.J and Logan were both behind him.

"Yeah," Kate smiled. "But first I want you guys to go to your room and stay there for 5 minutes. Me and Daddy are gonna come get you after 5 minutes ok?"

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Because mommy and daddy need to get ready for bed," she answered.

"But you're already in bed," Logan argued.

"Ok," Kate sighed. "Just go to your room, and I promise, daddy and I will come get you."

The kids left the room and Kate got out of bed to start picking up her clothes off the floor. She started getting dressed and tossed Sawyer's boxers at him. He smirked at her and took her gently by the arm. She had her underwear and t-shirt on, and he pulled her toward him.

"What are you doing?" she chuckled.

"Kissing you," he answered before their lips touched.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Don't-I won't be able to stop."

"Good," he smirked. "That's the idea."

"We're having a sleepover," she reminded him.

"Why did you agree to that?" he asked.

"Because our son hasn't been home in over 2 months, and I'm really glad he's home. I love the idea of having a sleepover with our kids."

"Ok," he mumbled. "Go get the kids, and I'll put my pants on."

Kate put her pants on too and left the room to get the kids. She walked down the hall to the kids bedrooms. They were all piled on Xander's bed. Xander and A.J were reading a book to Logan, and helping him read some of the words.

"Mommy when is the baby gonna be here!" Logan exclaimed. He walked toward her and put his hands on her stomach.

"Soon," she smiled.

"Will you be sad if it's a boy?" A.J asked.

"No," she chuckled. "No not sad. It's just gonna be a house full of boys."

"Should we wake up Josh?" Xander asked.

"No," she shook her head. "But we can go in and see him."

She went into Josh's room with the boys and they looked at Josh who was sleeping soundly with his thumb in his mouth. All the other kids used pacifiers, but he only would suck his thumb. He stirred slightly and Kate wrangled the kids away from the crib. Soon they would move Josh into Logan's room so that the baby would have Josh's old room. She wanted all the kids to be able to have their own room, but there was only 4 bedrooms in the house, which was a lot since the rest of the house was so small.

They went into the bedroom and Sawyer was laying in bed, taking up pretty much the entire bed by spreading his arms and legs across the bed.

"Daddy make room!" Logan exclaimed. Sawyer pretended that he was still sleeping and hadn't heard Logan's request. Kate smirked and bent down to be at the kids' level.

"Go jump on him," she whispered. All 3 kids ran toward the bed and jumped up on the bed. They all laid on different spots on the bed and tried to push Sawyer over to make more room. Kate walked toward the bed, and with the pile of kids, and Sawyer there was definitely no room for her. She cleared her throat loudly and Sawyer finally opened his eyes again.

"Ok guys," he sighed. "We gotta make room for your momma."

Kate got into the bed and had just gotten comfortable when Josh began to cry. Sawyer immediately got up and shook his head at Kate when she started getting up.

"You stay right there," he practically demanded. He left the room and Kate listened to him on the baby monitor. It was her favorite thing to do when Sawyer would go take care of the baby. Since the first time they had babies, she would lay in bed and listen to him talk to the baby to calm them down. The first time he did it with Xander and A.J, even though she was supposed to stay in bed, she got out of bed to go watch it. This time however the kids all curled up next to her and she was just too comfortable to get out of bed.

"Ok Josh," Sawyer began. "I know that you probably want to come to spend the night too…but I just don't think there's enough room. Your momma's big ass belly is in the way."

"Dada," Josh whispered and he held on to Sawyer's neck.

"Ok," he sighed. "Let's go ask."

When Sawyer got back to the room Kate was looking at the door and looking annoyed, but she still had a smile on her face.

"You said a bad word in front of your sons," she told him. "And it ain't my fault my belly's so huge…that my dear, would be your fault."

"_My _fault?" he asked. "I really hate to break this to you Kate…I know it'll come to quite a shock, but it takes two people to make a baby. You were there too…and if I recall this is something that you really really want. Anyway our youngest little baby wanted to sleep with us too."

"Sawyer," she sighed.

"Momma," Josh said softly and reached his arms out toward her. She chuckled and took him out of Sawyer's arms. She hugged him tightly and kissed him on the forehead. He clung on to the front of her shirt and put his head down on her chest. She sighed again, but couldn't bring herself to say no.

"You know," she began. "It's a damn good thing that we got a king size bed, Sawyer…I'm just hoping that the kids will eventually grow out of this."

"Well the twins are getting older," he answered. "I'm sure when they have girlfriends, they'll want to stop sleeping with their parents."

"I'mn ever having a girlfriend!" Xander exclaimed. "Girls have cooties."

"Well just so you no Mr. Xander," Kate began. "I am a girl, and I don't think that I have cooties, because if I have cooties then so do you."

"Nuh uh," he shook his head. "Boys rule and girls drool."

"Well Josh drools all the time and he's a boy," Kate argued.

"Damn…you're right momma," Xander nodded.

"James, I really hope you're proud of yourself for teaching our 6 year old such great language."

"Course I'm proud," he answered with a smile.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Of course you are."

"Momma?" A.J asked. "Can I cuddle with you?"

"Sure buddy," she nodded. "Come 'ere."

She handed Josh over to Sawyer and laid down. Josh started whining and reaching for Kate again. Kate opened her arms and both A.J and Logan started vying for a spot next to Kate.

"Hey!" A.J yelled. "Stop it Logan!"

"No!" Logan whined. "I want to cuddle too! I'm sick."

"Not anymore!" A.J said pushing him away again.

"Stop A!" Logan started kicking his feet and A.J started crying.

"No!" he sobbed. "You're hurting me Logan!"

"Stop," Kate whispered into Logan's ear. She held on to him and he stopped moving around.

"Haha I won!" Logan exclaimed. A.J let out a scream of frustration and lunged at his brother. He started hitting and swinging his arms. Logan started screaming and crying too. Xander got off of the bed, and took Josh with him, while Kate and Sawyer each pulled Logan and A.J off of each other.

"I guess there's not gonna be a sleepover," Kate said. She got out of the bed and pulled Logan with her. He was still squirming in her arms. He pulled his arms out of her grip and turned around. He started hitting her on the stomach, only because that was as high as he could reach.

"Logan!" Sawyer screamed. He jumped off the bed and pulled Logan away from Kate. "No! You do not hit mommy in the stomach!"

"I don't care!" Logan yelled back. He was now crying almost uncontrollably and he wasn't taking a breath, but he ran from the room, and slammed his door.

"You ok?" Sawyer asked quietly, stepping toward Kate.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm fine."

A.J was still crying, and now so was Josh. Xander and A.J left the room, and Kate heard their door slam too. She closed her eyes and walked over to the floor where Xander had left Josh. She picked him up and he continued to cry.

"Sweetheart," she whispered. "You're ok. I'm sorry that we were loud."

"Mommy," he sobbed.

"I'll go talk to him," Sawyer mumbled.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she shook her head. "It's just going to turn into more screaming and yelling. I really can't handle it Sawyer."

"I'm not gonna yell at him," he sighed. "I'm just gonna apologize and then explain to him why I yelled at him."

"Fine," she nodded. "But if you need me, I'll be in here with Josh."

"Ok," he smirked. "You want me to take Josh back to his room?"

"Nah," she shook her head. "I'll sit here with him for a minute."

Kate sighed deeply and watched Sawyer walk down the hall. She shook her head and hoped with everything she could that her baby would be a girl. She wouldn't be able to handle one more boy. She kissed Josh on the top of the head and also hoped that he wouldn't be as rambunctious and wild as the other kids. She knew that it would never happen. She knew that as soon as Josh was big enough he would be getting into fights with the other boys too.

Sawyer walked toward Logan's room and sighed deeply. He knocked on the door softly, and didn't wait before opening the door. Logan was laying on his bed still screaming and crying into the pillow. He walked toward him and sat down on the side of the bed.

"No!" he screamed. He started kicking his legs at Sawyer and Sawyer grabbed on to his ankles and stopped him from kicking.

"Logan calm down," he sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I'm sorry if it scared you, but you can't hit mommy on her stomach."

"Why?" he asked with a sob.

"Because it can hurt her and the baby," he answered quietly.

"Oh," he whispered. "Sorry daddy."

"Don't tell me," he shrugged. "Go tell mommy."

"Hug?" Logan asked. Sawyer smiled softly and hugged him tightly. He stopped crying and put his head against Sawyer's shoulder. "I'm tired daddy."

"Ok," he whispered. "How about you get comfy in bed, and I'll send momma in to say goodnight?"

"No sleepover daddy?" he asked.

"Not tonight," Sawyer shook his head. "I think we all need to sleep in our own beds tonight. Didn't you miss your bed?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But I missed you and mommy more."

"We missed you too," he answered. He kissed Logan on the forehead and got up from the bed. He walked past Xander and A.J's room and heard that A.J was still crying. Sawyer went into the room and sat down next to Xander, who was just watching as A.J cried.

"Aton," Sawyer whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Logan hurt me," A.J responded.

"I'm sorry," Sawyer said. "We're gonna go to bed now ok?"

"In your room?" he asked.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. But we'll see you in the morning ok?"

"Ok," he mumbled. "Night dad."

"Goodnight," he whispered.

He went back to the bedroom and he was going to take Josh back to his room, but Kate had already done that and she was laying in bed under the covers. Her eyes were closed, but he wasn't sure if she was sleeping or not. He climbed into bed and put his arms around her. She moved in his arms and kissed his cheek. She moved to his mouth and kissed him softly.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he whispered.

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "He really wasn't hitting me that hard. I think we have rougher sex than what Logan was doing."

"Ok," he nodded. "I just wanted to be sure. I told Logan that you would go say goodnight to him."

Kate stood up and took Josh into his room. When she put him into the crib he started whining for her and reaching up for her. She kissed him on the forehead and let him cry while she went into Logan's room. When she went into his room he was already sleeping. She walked over to him and sat down on his bed. She ran her hand against his bald head and sighed deeply. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered 'I love you' into his ear.

* * *

Over the next month and a half Sawyer started looking for a vacant building for the restaurant that he was going to open. He and Kate argued about it a few more times, until he finally gave in. He was spending the week trying to find the right place, but all the places were either too expensive or too small. He picked up the kids from school and went home. Logan was in kindergarten, but he had just started going to school since he had been in the hospital for 2 months.

When Sawyer walked through the front door the kids all ran ahead of him. He walked into the living room and Kate wasn't there. He walked through the house and found Kate laying in bed. He knelt next to the bed and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Hey," he whispered. "You feeling ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm just tired. I needed to take a nap."

She got out of bed and she was still wearing her pajamas. He furrowed his eyebrows at her and forced her to sit back down. She looked at him and sighed softly.

"Why are you still in your pajamas?" he asked. "Have you stayed in bed all day? What about Josh?"

"Josh is fine," she sighed. "I took care of him as much as I could…I'm-Sawyer I've been having contractions. It's way too soon…I'm only 7 and a half months pregnant."

"Ok," he whispered. "Come on…we'll go to the hospital."

"I'm so fucking sick of hospitals Sawyer," she sobbed. "And if we have to stay at the hospital for another 2 months with this baby…I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Well let's go see what's going on," he replied.

Sawyer was waiting for Kate to come out from seeing the doctor. He was tapping his foot and anxiously awaited her return. One of the receptionists brought him a Styrofoam cup of water, telling him that she thought he could use it. Kate walked toward him, and she was wearing her normal clothes. She looked like she wasn't too upset.

"Are you ok?" he asked quickly, standing up, and knocking over his water in the process.

"Yeah," she sniffled. "It was false labor I guess. I don't really know. But they gave me medicine to stop the contractions, and now I feel fine."

As they walked back to the car Kate stopped and gasped. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her.

"You ok?" he asked.

"No," she breathed. "My water just broke."

Kate was in a hospital room. She looked at Sawyer and shook her head. He grabbed on to her hand and squeezed it tightly. He kissed her forehead and ran his hand over her face.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"It's gonna be ok Kate," he told her.

"No it's not," she sobbed.

"A month and a half isn't that early Kate," he replied.

"How the hell would you know?" she asked. "You don't know. You're not a doctor."

"I do know that you need to calm down," he answered, keeping his hand against her face. "I know it's gonna be almost impossible, but just calm down."

"No," she rolled her eyes.

"Fine," he sighed. "Don't calm down…don't listen to me. I don't care anymore Kate. Do whatever you want to do. But I'm still not gonna go anywhere."

Kate sighed again and closed her eyes. She grabbed at Sawyer's hand and squeezed it softly.

"Dammit," she whispered. "Sawyer-"

"I know," he nodded.

Sawyer and Kate waited only a few minutes before the doctor came back. They were rushing around her and talking with their doctor language that Kate and Sawyer couldn't understand at all. Kate looked at Sawyer for reassurance.

"They're talking about how you're gonna be just fine," Sawyer told her. He succeeded in making her smile, but then he noticed the glint of tears in her eyes.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "What are we having?"

"You wanna know?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Well," he sighed. "It's gonna be hard for a while, but we'll get used to it."

"Another boy," she smiled.

"Well, it's gonna be crazy," he replied. "The boys are really gonna be over protective of her."

"Her?" she asked.

"Yup," he nodded. "We're having a daughter. I already bought a bunch of stuff for her. But no pink stuff, I know you don't really like pink."

"But other little girls do," she whispered. "We're really having a girl. Because the contractions are coming quicker and quicker and it should be any minute before she's here and I'm gonna be really pissed if she ends up being a he."

"Well I got her a blanket with her name on it so she better the hell be a girl," he told her.

"What name?" she asked.

"Well I hope I didn't screw it all up Freckles," he replied. "Caroline Diane Ford."

"I love it," she said with tears in her eyes.

Only an hour later Kate had given birth. The baby had a full head of dark hair and just as many freckles as Kate. Kate didn't want to stop holding her, but the nurse took her. Sawyer followed the nurse to look at the baby who looked just like Kate. He looked back at Kate and sat back down next to her. He took her by the hand and she pulled him toward her and kissed him on the lips.

"She looks just like you Freckles," he told her.

Kate was in a regular hospital room. She was sleeping and Sawyer was still watching her. The door opened and the other kids came into the room. Jill was carrying Josh who was crying. When he saw Sawyer and Kate, he stopped crying and reached out for Sawyer to take him. Sawyer picked him up and looked and Jill.

"Were they good today?" he asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Josh was really upset because he missed you and Kate."

"Do you guys wanna go see your baby sister?" he asked standing up.

"Yeah!" Logan exclaimed.

"Ok," he whispered. "But we gotta be quiet…momma's sleepin'."

"Is she ok?" Jill asked.

"Kate?" he questioned. "Yeah she's fine."

"No, I mean your daughter," she answered.

"Carrie is just perfect," he smiled. "She's a month and a half early so she's on the small side, but the doctor's said she'd be fine."

"Does she have to be in an incubator or anything?" Jill asked.

"Nope," he shook his head. "She's strong, like her mom…she's gonna be just fine. More than fine."

He walked down to the nursery with the kids. Jill came too because she wanted to see Carrie too. Sawyer lifted each kid up so they could look into the window to see the baby. While they were standing there looking in on the baby the nurse told Sawyer that they were going to bring her back to Kate's room to see if Kate could feed her. They all followed the nurse back to the room. Kate was just waking up and she lit up when she saw all the kids.

"Come here," she whispered. She waved the kids toward her and they all climbed up on the bed with her. She hugged all of them and the nurse watched it.

"Mrs. Ford, would you like to try and feed your daughter?" the nurse asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Ok guys…off the bed just for a minute."

The nurse handed Kate the baby and Kate started smiling widely. Logan climbed back up on the bed and looked over Kate's shoulder at the baby.

"She looks like momma," Logan whispered.

"She's beautiful," Sawyer agreed.

"Well I'm not so beautiful right now," Kate chuckled. "My hair's a mess."

"You're pretty mommy," Xander assured her.

"You're a sweetheart Xander," she smiled.

**3 Days Later  
**

Kate was laying next to Sawyer with her head on his chest. He was sound asleep, but she wasn't. She started kissing his cheek and she moved to his lips. He started kissing her back and they both began smiling. He flipped them over and started kissing her down her neck.

"I did something today for you," he whispered.

"What?" she chuckled, looking up at him.

"Ok, so I hope that it's a good thing," he mumbled. "I bought a building today to build my restaurant."

"I knew that," she nodded.

"On the way home I went to the doctor," he answered. "I'm going to get a vasectomy tomorrow."

"Well," she whispered. "That kinda makes me wish that you already had it done, and that it's been another 6 weeks."

"So you're happy?" he asked.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to do that Sawyer," she said.

"Hey," he began, putting his hand against her cheek. "I want to. 5 kids is way more than enough and I think if we're gonna continue to have sex, the chances of you getting pregnant-I'm going tomorrow."

"I wish I could fuck you right here and now," she said into his ear.

"You're my best friend Kate," he told her.

"What?" she chuckled. "What does that mean?"

"It just means you're my best friend," he replied. "I love you."

"You're mine too," she said kissing his lips softly.

**A/N: So I tried to update last night but the website was down I guess because it wouldn't let me log in. I'm so excited for the finale. I have a picture from the promo as my background on my computer. I think it's going to be absolutely amazing. Josh Holloway was on Ellen this morning and there were pictures of the ducks that live in his yard and it was the cutest damn thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And Ellen asked him why Kate kept going between Sawyer and Jack and he said "I dunno, she's easy." haha he was kidding, but I'm sure not at the same time. And he told Ellen that he used to have a crush on her. I thought that was absolutely hilarious. He's so damn cute/hot. Anyway I hope you all liked my chapter. Please please review!!**


	30. Chapter 30

**4 Weeks Later**

Sawyer was running his hand up and down Kate's back. She was sleeping soundly, but as his hand moved against her she stirred slightly. He started kissing her cheek and down her neck. He could hear Caroline crying and sighed deeply. He got out of bed and went into Caroline's room. He picked her up and sat down in the rocking chair. She continued to cry and Sawyer continued to rock her. He looked up and saw Kate standing in the doorway.

"You are so incredibly adorable with her," Kate whispered.

"I try," he smirked. "But I don't think she likes me very much. She always cries."

"Well did you ever think she might need her diaper changed?" she asked. He stood up and handed her to Kate. Kate rolled her eyes and walked over to the changing table. Sawyer walked up behind her and watched her change the diaper.

"You mind not hovering?" she asked quietly with a smile.

"She's lookin' more like you each day Freckles," he whispered. She picked Caroline up and put her into the crib. Then she stepped toward Sawyer and started kissing him. She kept her arms at her side until he picked her up, then she wrapped her arms and legs around him. He walked backwards into the hall and started chuckling.

"Sawyer," she whispered into his ear.

"What?" he asked carrying her into the bedroom and throwing her onto the bed. He crawled on top of her and started kissing her again.

"Fuck me," she moaned. "Fuck me with your tongue. I need your wet tongue in me right now."

"Jesus," he whispered. He started kissing her and moving down her body. She sighed softly and he started ravishing her whole body with his mouth. He moved his mouth over her clit. She was already wet and she began to moan loudly. Her moans only made Sawyer move faster. She started moaning his name. Sometimes she would moan Sawyer, but mostly it came out James. He made her come and she flipped them over so she was on top of him.

"I love every second of our nights together," she whispered.

"Well don't make any plans for tomorrow Freckles," he said touching her face with the back of his hand.

"What's tomorrow?" she asked.

"Come on Freckles, don't tell me you've forgotten," he answered.

"I know," she smiled. "It's our 8 year anniversary. But we have to be careful."

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"Because it's only been 4 wonderful weeks since Carrie was born," she whispered.

"Damn," he sighed. "I guess you're right."

"But I don't care," she shook her head. "If the doc thinks that I'm going to wait another 2 weeks to have sex with my husband he's crazy. Besides that…I've had 5 kids, I think that I'll be just fine."

"If you're sure," he whispered.

"Hell yeah I'm sure," she scoffed.

"Goodnight Freckles," he said kissing her lips slowly. She flipped over and spooned against him. He continued to run his hands up and down her body. She fell asleep quickly, but he still couldn't keep his hands off of her.

Kate and Sawyer spent the day with the kids. Jill and Kyle were going to come get all 5 of them later that night. Kate went to go take a shower before they went out. They were going to go somewhere, but Sawyer refused to tell her where.

She let the hot water run over her body. She was still horny from last night and wished that Sawyer was in the shower with her. She reached her hand down between her legs and started playing with herself. She put her head back against the cool shower wall. She sat down on the floor and continued to touch herself.

"Freckles," she heard him say.

"Yeah," she breathed, and tried not to moan, but he heard it anyway.

"Are you being a naughty girl in there?" he asked.

"Depends on what you mean by naughty?" she whispered. He got into the shower and helped her stand. She looked at him and he held her by the hands, keeping her from touching herself.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Let go of my hands."

"Or would you rather have my fingers Freckles," he asked, taking another step toward her.

"I want my own," she told him. He smirked at her and let go of her hands. She moved one hand onto herself and put the other hand on his growing erection. He groaned loudly and she continued to move her hands. She breathed in deeply as she came. She stopped touching herself, but continued to move her hand over him and he came.

* * *

They were walking down the street. Kate was wearing a short skirt, which Sawyer found intriguing. He knew her body like the back of his own hand, but he loved seeing her in a skirt. As they walked Sawyer kept sticking his hand up the back of her skirt, and she didn't mind in the least. She was wearing regular underwear, which disappointed Sawyer. They stopped walking and Sawyer pushed her up against a tree gently.

"What are you doing?" she whispered and chuckled. "Are you gonna just take me right here and now?"

"I'm thinkin' about it," he smirked. "But I'll try and contain myself."

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out their blindfold. It was black and had fur around the edges. They used it frequently in the bedroom, but Kate had never used it in public. She stared at him like he was crazy, but let him put it over her eyes.

"Ok," he whispered. "Follow me."

"Are we going to a quaint bed and breakfast?"

"No," he answered with a laugh. "But you'll like it…I promise."

As they walked Kate tried to decipher where they were going, but she had no idea where they were. She could hear a few people talking about them as they passed them, but it was all about how they were cute, and sweet. She smiled widely as they walked. When they got to the destination Sawyer pulled the blindfold off and they were standing in front of the movie theater. They went there every year since they got married.

"This is the big surprise?" she chuckled. "We come here every year Sawyer."

"I know," he whispered. "But I just wanted an excuse to bring the blindfold with us."

Kate wanted to sit closer to the middle of the theater, but Sawyer insisted on sitting in the very back row. Sawyer took her by the hand and they began to watch the movie. Kate could feel that Sawyer was watching her. She looked at him and he put his hand on her thigh. She smirked, and then stood up.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"I'll be right back," she whispered. She was gone for about 4 minutes and when she came back she had a large smile on her face. He put his hand back on her thigh and she smiled wider.

"Freckles," he whispered. "What did you do?"

"Shh," she scolded. "Just watch the movie."

There were only a few people in the theater, but it was still a very public place. Kate shifted slightly in her seat, and took Sawyer's hand in hers. She pushed his hand up her skirt, and he understood what she was doing. She let go of his hand, but he continued to move his hand up her skirt. When he got to the top of her leg, he realized that she wasn't wearing any underwear. He looked at her almost in shock and she smiled wider.

"Your underwear disappeared," he whispered.

"I know," she smirked. "I'm a magician…they're gone."

"Gone where?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" she questioned.

"Not really."

"Good," she smirked. He started teasing her and she let out a breath. There were people sitting 5 rows in front of them. Kate was beginning to like the fact that they were in the very last row. She pushed his hand away and climbed onto his lap. He looked at her and smiled.

"I can't see the movie," he whispered.

"Do you really care that much about the movie?" she asked, reaching her hand between them and slowly unzipping his pants. He shook his head and kissed her softly. She moved against him and he started growing harder. He groaned loudly and Kate shushed him, but was chuckling softly. She kissed him harder to quiet him down. She pushed his pants down far enough only to slid onto him. He reached his hands up the back of her shirt and he continued to kiss her. She sighed into his mouth and continued to move against him. He came and then she did. She rolled off of him and sat back down in her own seat. They both smirked at each other and took each other by the hand. They each went back to watching the movie, but neither of them could wipe the goofy smiles off their faces.

They walked back home hand in hand. When they walked through the door they began to kiss. Kate lead Sawyer though the house and into the bedroom then to the bathroom. Sawyer turned on the water to the bathtub and they continued to kiss. She sat down on the floor and he sat down on top of her with one leg on either side of her. She put her hands on his cheeks and smiled at him.

"I love you so much," she whispered. "I love the way that you are with our kids. You are the best husband and father that anyone could ever ask for."

"You don't gotta say these things Kate," he chuckled. "You're already gonna get laid tonight."

"I'm serious," she said. "I just wanted to let you know."

"Right back at ya Freckles," he stated. "I never wanted a family. My family was so fucked up when I was growing up. I hated the idea of ever getting married and having kids, but I'm glad I got to do it with you. We actually made it work. We have 5 kids."

"I know," she whispered. "Remember…I was there."

"Well you're a good momma," he replied pushing her hair off her face. "You're the best mom ever. I wish that I would have had a mom as good as you."

"Sawyer," she began. "The way you talk about your mom…she was a great mom Sawyer. She only wanted to protect you. She wanted to keep you safe."

"Well I say that we stop talking about mothers, and kids, and just be with each other for tonight," he said. He forced her backwards into the tub with all her clothes on. She squealed and shook her head.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I'm not undressed yet."

"How about we change that?" he whispered, stepping toward her. He tore her shirt off and pulled her skirt down. She sat down and pulled him toward her. He started undressing himself and he started kissing her softly and slowly.

"I want to fuck you all night," she said loudly. "But not here. I want to wait till we get back to our bedroom. I want to try to take this bath without touching you once."

"You ain't gonna be able to do that," he shook his head.

"Watch me," she answered. She pushed him off of her and started running her hands over her own body. As she washed herself Sawyer watched her intently. She kept smiling at him, which wasn't making it any easier for him to not touch her.

"Can I touch you?" he asked.

"Later," she smirked. "We can wait. I mean…I can wait…it'll only make it better, don't you think?"

"Sure," he nodded. Kate dunked her head under the water and then got out of the tub. She walked back into the bedroom without bothering to get dressed. She swaggered slightly as she walked. Sawyer quickly stood up and got out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist and almost ran into the bedroom. Kate was already laying in the bed with the sheet covering her. He walked toward her and leaned over her with his arms on either side of her.

"Hi," she whispered. She was almost acting as if they hadn't just spent the last few hours together. "I missed you."

"You missed me?" he chuckled. "Well…I guess I missed you too."

"What do you mean, you guess," she half scoffed.

"Ok," he nodded. "I missed you Freckles. I did miss loving every inch of you. I missed sex."

"Me too," she smirked. "And now…apparently we can have sex whenever we feel like it and not have to worry about me getting pregnant."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "The last thing we need is another son."

"Well what if it was a girl," she whispered.

"You want a 6th kid?" he asked. "Well…find another sucker, because I ain't dealin' with another kid."

"Don't worry," she shook her head. "Hell no…5 kids is way more than I ever imagined wanting. But I'm sick of talking to you."

"Thanks a lot," he said.

"No," she answered. "That isn't what I meant…I meant no more talking."

She rolled on top of him and whipped his towel off of him. She tossed it on the floor next to the bed and climbed on top of him. She started kissing him roughly and pushed herself onto him. He groaned loudly and she started breathing heavily. He flipped them over and started pushing against her roughly. She let out a moan and she wrapped her legs around him.

"I love you in me," she moaned again. They both moved together and both came. Kate fell asleep in Sawyer's arms. They had been sleeping for an hour and a half when they heard the front door open. Kate stayed asleep, but Sawyer woke up. He got out of the bed carefully and put on a pair of boxers. They were supposed to have the entire night alone, but as Sawyer went into the hall he could hear voices. It was past midnight, and so he sighed deeply and hoped at least that the little kids were sleeping.

"Daddy!" Logan exclaimed loudly. Caroline woke up and started crying. Jill sighed deeply and shook her head. Sawyer stepped toward her and took Caroline from her arms.

"What's going on Jill?" he asked. "Cuz you know…Kate and I we weren't doing anything important, like sleeping."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just-Xander and A.J both wanted to come home and they started screaming and crying when I said they could come tomorrow, and then Logan told me that he didn't feel good, and he did end up throwing up and he wanted to come home too."

Sawyer rubbed his forehead and sighed softly.

"It's ok," he sighed again. "It's not your fault. Boys…my wonderful children…why couldn't you come home tomorrow? You always have fun at Aunt Jill and Uncle Kyle's house."

"Tasha bit me!" Xander yelled.

"So because Tasha bit you, you had to come home?" he asked.

"Logan felt sick," A.J argued. "He threw up."

"Logan," Sawyer whispered and squatted down in front of Logan.

"Daddy," Logan sobbed. "I'm sorry. I didn't feel good. I wanted you and mommy. I miss you."

"Oh," Sawyer sighed. "Well…I'm sorry you don't feel good. Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Well then ok. You're going back home with Aunty Jilly…and you're gonna come back home tomorrow and we'll have a good time tomorrow. But for now you're going to let your momma and I have some time alone. 5 kids is a lot of kids Mini me."

Sawyer could feel someone tapping his leg. He looked down at saw Josh sitting on the floor looking up at him.

"Daddy," Josh whispered. "Hug hug."

Sawyer closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He picked up Josh and hugged him tightly. Kate stepped into the hallway and looked at the sight of the kids gathered around Sawyer. Sawyer was holding Josh and looking at him.

"Josh," Sawyer started. "You wanna go with Jill? Or stay here?"

"Momma!" Josh exclaimed as he saw Kate. Kate smiled and walked toward them.

"Mommy can we stay?" Logan asked. Kate felt guilty about saying no. She would rather say no and have the rest of the night alone with Sawyer, but looking at all of the frowns on her sons faces, made her melt. Josh was hugging Kate and smiling at her widely. She looked at Sawyer and they both knew that they were starting to give in. He sighed softly.

"Ok," Sawyer said. "You guys can of course stay here. It's your house too."

"Can we have a sleepover dad?!" A.J exclaimed.

"No," he shook his head. "I draw the line there. Listen…we love you guys all very very much, but we're going to sleep alone tonight."

"But why?" Logan asked.

"Because it's our anniversary so me and mommy want alone time," he answered.

"No!" Logan exclaimed.

"You're such a brat Logan," Xander scoffed. "All because you were sick…and you're just a bratty bratty brat!"

"Dad!" Logan whined. "Xander called me a brat."

"OK!" Sawyer yelled. "If you guys are gonna stay here then you go to your own rooms and go to bed. It's very late. It's past midnight…does anyone know what that means."

All 3 of the older kids shook their heads.

"Well," Sawyer sighed. "It means it is 3 hours past your bedtime. So you need to go to bed."

"Can we stay up if we go to Jill's?" Xander asked.

"No," all three adults stated. The three kids went to their rooms feeling defeated. Sawyer took Josh back to his room and Kate took Caroline to her room. They met back at their own room. Sawyer wrapped his arms around Kate and kissed her on the cheek.

"Those kids love you so much," Kate chuckled. "You're their hero."

"I think they're pretty fond of you too," he smiled. "Happy anniversary, Freckles."

They kissed again and Kate cuddled against him. He closed his eyes but she started kissing him deeper. He opened his eyes and looked at her with his hand resting on her cheek.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I'm making out with you," she answered. "We've been married for 8 years Sawyer. 8 years."

"And 5 bratty kids later," he sighed. "They're the worst Freckles. I mean I love them…you know I love them, but I think Xander's right...Logan is a brat...and so are the other kids."

"Carrie isn't," Kate argued.

"Don't worry…she will be," he whispered.

"James Ford," she scoffed. "Our one and only daughter is gonna be just like me."

"Well, then when should we start worrying?" he asked.

She smacked him on the arm, but then kissed him again. He kissed her back and rolled over so they were both on their sides. She closed her eyes and leaned against him.

"So how many hours do you think we have?" she whispered.

"Knowing our baby girl…another 45 minutes maybe?" he asked quietly.

"Do you think we have time for a quickie?" she chuckled.

"Man, Freckles," he sighed. "When are you gonna slow down?"

"Well do you want me to?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Hell no."

Sawyer and Kate had 36 minutes together before Caroline started crying. They were cuddling when she started crying. Kate chuckled softly and looked up at Sawyer with a pout.

"Fine," he mumbled. "I'll go. Keep my side of the bed warm ok?"

"Sure thing Cowboy," she whispered. She watched Sawyer leave the room and turned the baby monitor up so she could hear Sawyer's voice as he calmed the baby down. Sawyer walked into Caroline's room. She saw Sawyer and reached up at him.

"What's the matter Carrie?" he asked. "You couldn't give your momma and me a few minutes of cuddling and sleeping?"

She obviously didn't answer him, but when he picked her up she stopped crying. He bounced her softly and walked over to the rocking chair.

"Do you know that 8 years ago today your momma and me were in Las Vegas?" he asked. "We were spending the night together and loving every minute of our freedom…but then we had your brothers. We've been waiting for you for a long long time. And it's a damn good thing you came when you did, because if we kept going like we were…we'd have 10 boys, and no girls. Y'know…I never wanted to be a daddy…definitely didn't ever want a daughter, but you are definitely the exception to that Ms. Caroline."

He looked down at her and she was sleeping soundly. He shook his head and sighed softly. He was telling the absolute truth. He never wanted kids…he didn't think he would ever even fall in love. When he met Kate it was love at first sight. He fell in love with her the minute she dumped her bucket of popcorn in his lap. But even with being in love with her, he still didn't really want kids. When he found out that Kate was pregnant he was terrified…and then it ended up being twins and he was still not entirely excited, but he always hid all his real feelings from Kate. He wanted to avoid pissing her off or upsetting her. By the time they had Josh he was used to having babies, and he knew he could be a good dad, but he knew nothing about little girls. He knew how to be a womanizer, but he didn't know about Barbies and hair clips…but with Caroline's full head of curly hair he was going to have to learn. He walked back to the bedroom and saw Kate sitting up in bed.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" she whispered.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "8 years and 5 kids worth?"

She smiled widely and chuckled. She opened her arms and he walked toward her and they wrapped their arms around each other.

**A/N: Ok…so I was going to see where this went as I was writing and I really think this is a good 'end'. I'm gonna do one more chapter that's set 10 years in advance. But I do kinda feel like I'm running out of ideas for this one. I hope you all review!**


	31. Chapter 31

**10 Years Later**

Kate was standing in front of the full length mirror. She was putting her hair up in a loose bun. She could hear all the kids running in the house. Sawyer yelled something indistinctively and then she heard 3 doors slam shut. She waited for Sawyer to come to the bedroom. He opened the door quickly, and shut it behind him. She looked at him and he stepped toward her and took her face in his hands.

"What are you doing?" she whispered. He didn't answer her, but just kissed her lips softly and slowly. He walked them backwards toward the bed. She was wearing a black skirt along with a green top. He started reaching his hand up the front of her shirt and she chuckled.

"You look really hot," he told her.

"We're going to our sons' high school graduation Sawyer," she chuckled. "I'm not supposed to be looking hot. Now let me up, you messed up my hair."

"I messed up your hair?" he asked. "What happened to that sexy girl who would have sex with me in the middle of the movie theater."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "You know that I love you. And you know I love having sex with you too…but we're going to miss Xander and A.J's graduation…and I don't think they're ever going to forgive us for that."

"What time do we have to be there?" he asked.

"Mom!" Xander yelled and knocked on the door rapidly.

"What?" she said sitting up and pushing Sawyer away.

"Me and A.J are leaving," he sighed. "And if you wouldn't mind keeping dad away from us till…well whenever, that'd be great."

"What the hell happened?" Kate asked.

"He called us spoiled little shits," Xander scoffed. "He told us that he was surprised we even graduated high school."

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed.

"I just meant because I didn't-" Sawyer began.

"Whatever!" Xander exclaimed. "Just leave us the fuck alone!"

"That's the other thing!" Sawyer yelled. "They've both been swearing worse than both of us put together."

"Where the hell do you think we get it from dad!" Xander exclaimed. "You drop the f-bomb more than anyone I know. Remember that day you said 'I'm gonna fuck you all night' and Gloria was here. It was so embarrassing. You guys are disgusting. I'm telling you mom keep him away from us!"

"Ok," she sighed. "Xand, go ahead or you're gonna be late."

Xander left the room, and Kate could hear both the older boys running down the hall and the front door slammed. Sawyer looked over at Kate and pushed her back down to kiss her.

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "If you think for even one iota of a second that I'm going to give in to this now you got another thing coming."

"What?" he asked. "Our kids are brats and they said fuck you to me about 10 times while we were having our argument. And maybe, just maybe I ended up telling you that I was gonna fuck you while Gloria was here, but I really don't think she cared. She thought it was funny."

Gloria was Xander's girlfriend. They started 'dating' when they were in 8th grade and were still together 5 years later. Sawyer and Kate were both shocked that a child related to them could keep a girlfriend for that long at such a young age. A.J had a girlfriend too, but they had only been going out since prom, which was 3 weeks ago.

Kate chuckled and shook her head. She turned toward Sawyer and put her forehead against his and let out another soft breath.

"I love you," she whispered. "And tonight…we can take a shower together, or do whatever you want. But for now…I'm gonna keep getting ready for the graduation. Now…I'm gonna go check on the other kids to see if they're ready yet."

She stood up and went over to the mirror again. She re-did the bun and smoothed out her skirt. He walked back over to her and put his arms around her shoulders.

"Are you wearing underwear?" he whispered.

"Yes," she chuckled. "I'm not going commando to a high school graduation."

"Well all the boys think you're a MILF," he told her. "That one day the boys had that party and there was all those boys here…I heard them talking…they told Xander and A.J that you were a MILF. And they weren't too happy about it."

"Well," she whispered. "Once Caroline gets a few years older, I'm sure all her friends are gonna have a crush on you too."

"Mom," Caroline said coming into the room. Caroline's hair was wild and messy. There were curls all over the place.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Can you help me?" she asked.

"Yes," Kate chuckled. "Come here. Hand me the brush."

"No!" she exclaimed. "It hurts mom!"

"I'll be careful I promise," Kate whispered.

"I like when dad brushes my hair better," she argued. "Can dad do it?"

Kate looked at Sawyer and he took the brush from Caroline and started brushing the tangles out of Caroline's hair. He brushed almost all of it, until he came to a particularly large knot in her hair. He started trying to get the tangles out and she started whining.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Stop. It hurts dad."

"Ok," he nodded. "There ya go."

"Sawyer," Kate chuckled. "No wonder Carrie likes it when you brush her hair…you didn't get all the tangles out. Come here."

Kate pulled Caroline toward her gently and started brushing the knot out. Caroline started whining loudly and Kate tried her best to get the knots out. As Kate tried to brush Caroline's hair, Sawyer started getting dressed.

"Are we gonna go soon mom?" Caroline asked, when Kate finished.

"Yeah," she answered. "Are your brothers ready?"

"They're gone," she replied. "Dad called us all little shits, so they left."

"What do you mean they left?" Kate questioned.

"Mom!" Josh yelled. "I can't find my shoes!"

"You said they left," Kate said to Caroline.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Xander and A.J left."

"Hon, they went to the graduation," Kate chuckled. "Do you know if Josh and Logan are ready?"

"I think," she nodded.

"MOM!" Josh screamed. Kate sighed deeply and went into the hall where Josh was sitting on the floor.

"Joshua Ford what the hell is your problem?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"I can't find my shoes!" he exclaimed.

"Did you look in the front hall?" she asked quietly.

"No," he mumbled.

"Ok…well then quit screaming at me and go look in the front hall."

"Fine," he whined. Kate went into Logan and Josh's room. Logan and Josh both still looked like Sawyer. Logan's hair was a little shorter than Sawyer's and much more groomed, but Josh's was messy just like Sawyer's. Logan looked at Kate and sighed deeply.

"Josh is such a little brat mom," he sighed. "Why can't I have my own room?"

"Because, we don't have enough rooms for you each to have your own room," Kate sighed. "I'm sorry."

"But it's not fair," he answered. "Carrie gets her own room and she's the youngest!"

"She's also the only girl," Kate shrugged.

"So just because she's a girl she gets to have her own room?" he asked. "That's not fair!"

"Would you want to share a room with a girl?" she questioned. "Besides that…in a couple years Caroline isn't going to be a little girl anymore."

"Gross mom," he shook his head. "Don't talk about that."

"It's a fact of life Logan," she chuckled. "Whatever…are you almost ready to go? We have to leave soon to go watch your brothers graduate."

"I don't want to go," he sighed.

"Logan," she scoffed. "You're going whether you want to or not. This is really important to your brothers. And I know it's gonna be boring, but you're going. So get your shoes on and lets go."

"Fine," he mumbled.

They were walking as a family into the school. Kate looked around and started blinking her tears away. Sawyer saw her and stopped walking.

"Guys," Sawyer began. "Stay together, but keep on going. We'll be in there in a minute."

"We're not babies dad," Josh scoffed. "I'm almost 12...and Logan has his driving permit. We're old enough to-"

"I know," he interrupted. "You're old enough…so go. Just keep an eye on each other."

The kids kept walking and Sawyer looked toward Kate. She put her hand against her face and chuckled softly. He stepped toward her and put his arms around her.

"What's the matter?" he whispered.

"They're graduating high school," she said softly. "They're growing up so fast. Pretty soon they're gonna be married and we're never gonna see them."

"I don't think that's gonna happen," he answered. "Think of it this way Freckles…maybe when they get married, they'll have kids."

"I don't want to be a grandma," she sobbed. "I'm too young to be a grandma."

"Kate," he laughed. "I said someday. I don't think that either of them are gonna plan on getting married any time soon. But let's put it this way. You'll be one hell of a hot grandma when they do have kids."

"Shut up," she scoffed.

"Let's go," he whispered.

"Ok," she nodded.

The graduation ceremony was long and boring. Sawyer started falling asleep at one point so Kate had to elbow him hard in the ribs. After the speeches they started reading off names. They didn't have to wait too long before they got to the last names starting with F.

"Alexander J. Ford," the announcer said. Kate and all the kids started cheering loudly and stood up. "Anton J. Ford."

Xander waited on the stage for A.J. Both the boys walked to the edge of the stage and turned around. They each did a back flip off the stage and each landed not so perfectly. They stumbled backwards toward their classmates. Everyone laughed and Sawyer stood up.

"Those are my sons!" he yelled.

"Sawyer," Kate chuckled, and pulled him back down.

That night Xander, and A.J went to a graduation party held for all the graduating seniors. It was a sleepover so they wouldn't be home all night. Logan and Josh each went to a friends house for a sleepover. Caroline was the only one who wasn't doing anything, and she was really upset because she wanted to go somewhere too. They were at home and she was crying on the floor. Kate was sitting on the couch just watching Caroline cry. Caroline was always a whiner. She cried about everything, and much to all the boy's dismay she almost always got her way.

"Carrie," Sawyer began.

"What?" she whined.

"Stop it," he stated. "What do you want to do tonight?"

"I want to go to Tracy's!" she said beginning to kick her feet.

"You are 10 years old Caroline Diane, so you better start acting like it," he replied.

"What?" she whined again.

"Tracy is sick today," he sighed. "And I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but why don't you, me, and mom do something fun together."

"No!" she yelled. She ran from the room and slammed the door.

"What do you say," Kate began in a whisper. "We lock her in and spend the night together with just the two of us?"

"I think that's a great idea," he answered. "But don't you think…oh I dunno, that she'll get a little pissed."

"She already is," she shrugged. "She's not gonna bug us tonight."

"Well then why not just go in our own room and lock the door?" he asked. "But first I'm gonna give her a little piece of my mind."

"Sawyer, don't yell at her, it'll never work," she sighed.

"Kate," he shook his head. "She's had it way too easy. And I know…she's our baby, and our only little girl…she's our princess, but it doesn't mean she gets to act that way. I'm gonna go talk to her. You wanna come with me?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Fine."

They walked together to Caroline's room. Sawyer opened the door quickly and she was sitting on the floor crying.

"Carrie," he whispered.

"Leave me alone," she sobbed.

"Care," he said sitting down next to her. "Look, I know that you want to do what your big brothers do, and I know you wanted to have a sleepover with your friend, but sometimes you can't get what you want. It's partly your mom and my fault because we always let you do whatever you want…but now I'm not gonna stand for this. You can either stay in here and sulk all night like a baby, or you can come out and do something fun with your mom and I…what's it gonna be?"

"Sulking," she pouted.

"Alright," he shrugged. "Then goodnight Carrie. Love you."

"Love you too," she whispered softly. Sawyer knew what she said, but he only heard the 'too'.

"What was that?" he asked. "Didn't hear you."

"Love you too," she said slightly louder.

"Ok," he sighed. "Goodnight."

Kate bent down and kissed Caroline on the top of the head.

"Sorry mom," she whispered.

"You can still change your mind Carrie," Kate replied. "Me and dad are just gonna go out and watch some TV. If you decide to stop sulking we're not going anywhere ok?"

"What are you gonna watch?" she asked.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged. "We'll have to find something."

"Can I come?" Caroline asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

Kate and Sawyer let Caroline stay up an hour past her bedtime. When Caroline went to bed they went into their own room. Kate laid down in the bed while Sawyer went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he came back into the room Kate's back was to him. He sat down on the bed and put his hand on her back. She turned toward him and smiled.

"That smile," he whispered. "Does me in every time."

"I love you," she chuckled.

"I love you too baby," he replied.

"Do you think Carrie's sleeping?" she asked.

"Does it matter?" he questioned.

"It will if she can hear us," she answered.

"I think we've perfected the fine art of moaning softly Freckles," he whispered. He began kissing her slowly, and she rolled onto her back and started kissing him more passionately. He reached his hand up her shirt and she sat up long enough to pull the shirt over her head. She pushed her underwear down and started grinding against him. He started touching her softly. She breathed in deeply and flipped them over so she was on top of him.

"Fuck me," she whispered.

"Well, looks like you're on top Freckles," he whispered. "I think you're the one who needs to fuck me."

"Ok," she nodded. She pushed his boxers down and lifted herself over him. They were both moaning softly and muffled it by kissing each other. She was moving quickly and they both came. Sawyer rolled over, but kept his arms around her.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. She looked up at him and he nodded.

"What darlin'?" he asked. "You ain't gonna tell me that you think your pregnant now are ya?"

"God I hope not," she chuckled. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm just so glad that I dumped popcorn on you that day."

"Me too," he said. "I love you."

She smiled at him and answered him with a gentle kiss.

_**THE END**_

**A/N: OK. So that's the end. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know that the season finale is going to be so freaking amazing. I hope that those of you who haven't been able to watch this season stay away from the spoilers and I also hope that you're all able to see the 4th season soon. I just know that we're going to get some amazing skateness (or at least I hope). Anyway please please review!!**


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